Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Sexuality


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-09-2003, 01:19 AM   #1 (permalink)
Upright
 
What the hell is wrong with girls?

This is my very first post, so forgive me if it's a negative one, but i have to get this off my chest.

Here's the thing, me and a mate like to go out to pubs and clubs on a weekly basis. Since we've started university, we don't see each other at school anymore; We don't really go to these places to pick up girls, but more to talk, have a few drinks, and stumble home; you know, typical guy shit.

There's this one time where this really horny guy came with us; another mate from our high school days. He encourages us to pick up; we're like "yeah, what the heck'; my friend builds up the courage to talk to a girl that he fancies, and he wants to be be his back-up. "sure" i say.
We go up to a couple of lonely girls, and my friend starts talking to one of them; we chat for a few mins, just idle chit-chat; whats your name, etc etc. Then one of them says "we're going to get drinks" and they get up, leave and don't come back. A bit rude, but ok, maybe they didn't like us, fair enough.

Me and my friend get knocked back a few times; for instance, i'd say "Hi" to a chick, and she's say "hi" back and then turn around and leave. It's happend more than once. I don't think i'm monstously ugly, i'm in good shape, clean etc; and neither is my friend.

This sorta shit just totally shatters my confidence; why the hell are girls so rude? If a girl i wasn't interested came up to me and start talking to me, i'd reply, i'd be as polite as possible, and i definitely wouldn't just turn around and ignore them.

Now, I haven't had an enormous amount of experience with women, i've had a few short term relationships, so i haven't had much time to figure out how women think.

could someone, preferably a female, explain to me why the hell a lot of girls are so rude?
MeshMan2000 is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 02:10 AM   #2 (permalink)
don't ignore this-->
 
bermuDa's Avatar
 
Location: CA
looking in the wrong places? i dunno. how do you dress?
__________________
I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.
bermuDa is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 02:41 AM   #3 (permalink)
Upright
 
usual; jeans, black longsleeve shirt with a collar, a band tshirt underneath; Converse all-star shoes... usual teenage shit, y'know? all clean and tidy
MeshMan2000 is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 03:10 AM   #4 (permalink)
I change
 
ARTelevision's Avatar
 
Location: USA
"There's this one time where this really horny guy came with us..."

"girls" are smart to reject this guy and anyone who may be influenced by the likes of him.
__________________
create evolution
ARTelevision is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 03:18 AM   #5 (permalink)
Upright
 
it's not really to do with him, he was the one that started us out. changed our objectives from drinking to picking up...
MeshMan2000 is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 04:13 AM   #6 (permalink)
Upright
 
let me just say that i'm not asking "why don't girls like me, i'm such a hot bitch"; it's "why are most girls so damn rude? why do they act like they're just too good? i dont get it.
MeshMan2000 is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 04:24 AM   #7 (permalink)
Right Now
 
Location: Home
You were on the prowl. They could tell. Perhaps they don't like being considered "small game".

It doesn't sound like you are making a legitimate attempt to talk to them with the intent of getting to know them as people. It sounds like you are just trying to score.
Peetster is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 05:20 AM   #8 (permalink)
My future is coming on
 
lurkette's Avatar
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: east of the sun and west of the moon
Consider the context. You're in a bar, hitting on girls who may just be there for a nice drink and don't want to be hit on, or who are used to being hit on by jackasses who can't take a hint, so they've learned to be a bit blunt as a protective mechanism. There's no rule that says every woman who's in a bar is looking to be chatted up and hit on. If you were out on the street and you just walked up to a strange woman and said "hi, what's your name," you wouldn't expect an answer - why do you expect one in a bar? I agree with Peetster. It sounds like you're on the prowl, and are looking at these women as good-looking targets and not necessarily as people. If that's the case, you got the reaction you deserved.
__________________
"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France
lurkette is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 05:52 AM   #9 (permalink)
Upright
 
makes sense, i guess.

but, how do some guys pick up in bars? i can never get the hang of it; i mean i can't exactly go up to every girl ... eh fuck
MeshMan2000 is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 05:58 AM   #10 (permalink)
Darth Papa
 
ratbastid's Avatar
 
Location: Yonder
See <a href="http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=31052">"Getting Girls 101"</a>. If your goal is to score for meaningless sex, that's the place to look. Good advice there, if that's your aim.
ratbastid is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 07:13 AM   #11 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: right here, watching my cock grow smaller
Dude, you need charisma. if youre an average looking douche-bag walking up to a girl and hitting on her with some inane banal shit that 90% of guys are going to use, then of course she's not interested.

Why is she a bitch to you? She doesn't like you. Simple. Imagine what would happen if she nicely let you down. You'd probably mistake that for her showing interest. She has to be a bitch to get rid of you, because she has decided in that instant, that you suck.

Also, you're some drunken random dude. Why does she care if she hurt your feelings? Why does she have to care?

You care because you do not want to get rejected or look like a chump. Whatever. Who cares? At the end of the night, the handful of girls you talked to that evening will have their lips WRAPPED around somebody's cock and it might as well be yours. So, I'm saying don't lose confidence. But change your approach and dont fucking care if you get rejected.
__________________
The intelligent man wins his battles with pointed words. I'm sorry—I meant sticks. Pointed sticks.
spads is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 07:21 AM   #12 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: right here, watching my cock grow smaller
Quote:
Originally posted by lurkette
Consider the context. You're in a bar, hitting on girls who may just be there for a nice drink and don't want to be hit on, or who are used to being hit on by jackasses who can't take a hint, so they've learned to be a bit blunt as a protective mechanism. There's no rule that says every woman who's in a bar is looking to be chatted up and hit on. If you were out on the street and you just walked up to a strange woman and said "hi, what's your name," you wouldn't expect an answer - why do you expect one in a bar? I agree with Peetster. It sounds like you're on the prowl, and are looking at these women as good-looking targets and not necessarily as people. If that's the case, you got the reaction you deserved.

This is simply not true.

Firstly why cant you walk up to a girl on the street and say hi? do you think all people meet in clubs or at work. I picked up a girl on the train today by doing this exact thing.

Secondly the environment changes all the rules for social dynamics and interaction. You can't walk up to a woman at the mall and give her $100 and get sex. You can do this at a brothel though.

The bar environment is not like the street. You're in the bar for a reason. To drink, have fun, dance, fuck, whatever. Either way, its a lot more acceptable because women know you will be hitting on them there. If they didn't like this fact, they wouldn't put themselves in the environment.
__________________
The intelligent man wins his battles with pointed words. I'm sorry—I meant sticks. Pointed sticks.
spads is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 07:52 AM   #13 (permalink)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 
*Nikki*'s Avatar
 
Location: Charleston, SC
I know I do the same thing. I don't think that any man just has the right to come up and start hitting on me assuming that I must want this bc I am in a bar.

That is why I don't go to bars. Bad place to meet people. Men are only there for two things. Find women, get drunk.
*Nikki* is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 07:53 AM   #14 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: northern california
Been in that situation alot. its real simple here. Most guys, and specially at a bar, if a girl say one nice thing to them at all they think we are interested and the latch on like a dead weight hanging around all night. There is no way to get rid of that type of guy other than to be rude... Im not saying you were that type of guy, but, it is not like we get hit on once or twice a night, try 30 or 40... but sweetie if i knew it was you, i would not turn you away. smoochiesssssss
__________________
...We find ourselves in a struggle for our very right to exsist... We will not go quietly into the night... We will not give up without a fight...
vveronica is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 09:08 AM   #15 (permalink)
Quadrature Amplitude Modulator
 
oberon's Avatar
 
Location: Denver
I've (almost) never been to bars. Every time I think about it, I consider what happens to people when they get drunk.

That's usually enough to quash the temptation. I'd rather get drunk with a couple friends watching a football game.

Besides, usually people (both men and women) have to be in a particular mood to want to deal with other people who are (or appear to be) just looking for a fuck buddy.
__________________
"There are finer fish in the sea than have ever been caught." -- Irish proverb
oberon is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 09:15 AM   #16 (permalink)
Upright
 
well you see, famels aren't dumb. this girl obviously know you just want to fuck her so she's doing the good thing and walking away. she's probably not there to get fuckin 'picked up' as you say -- she's probabaly just trying to get the fuck out of her house and hang out with friends
biffy is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 11:14 AM   #17 (permalink)
Insane
 
I like it when they're blunt...that way neither of you waste time. Whats even worse is when you have honorable intentions, and they try to slowly let you down, but you mistake it as interest. I say, it doesnt matter if you're trying to score or start a relationship, being blunt saves both people alot of time.
blade02 is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 11:42 AM   #18 (permalink)
Banned
 
blade02 is so right, when you came up to her and she knew she didnt like you and you had 0% to score right there but she continued talking to you and gettign your hopes up and when you ask her to go hang out with you or whatever and she says no, you have just wasted time and enegery.
Oopsfix is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 01:37 PM   #19 (permalink)
Is mad at you.
 
Location: Bored in Sacramento
Yeah, I think being blunt is one of the most importiant parts of the whole "hooking up" thing. A lot of energy is wasted trying for someone who is letting you down soft, also a lot of energy is wasted on someone who is too shy to speak up and ask someone out.
__________________
This too shall pass.
Harshaw is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 02:32 PM   #20 (permalink)
Upright
 
i guess you're all right.

bah; i wish i was gay
MeshMan2000 is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 04:41 PM   #21 (permalink)
Newlywed
 
sillygirl's Avatar
 
Location: at home
Don't say that quite yet... we're not all like that, and you should really try talking to people when you're out doing anything, not just go to a bar to find a girl. Say hi when you see a cutie at the grocery store, etc. Most people are kind enough to say 'hi' back if they don't think that they're fresh meat to you!
__________________

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...
sillygirl is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 04:54 PM   #22 (permalink)
Huzzah for Welcome Week, Much beer shall I imbibe.
 
Location: UCSB
Fastseduction.com is your friend.
__________________
I'm leaving for the University of California: Santa Barbara in 5 hours, give me your best college advice - things I need, good ideas, bad ideas, nooky, ect.

Originally Posted by Norseman on another forum:
"Yeah, the problem with the world is the stupid people are all cocksure of themselves and the intellectuals are full of doubt."
nanofever is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 06:09 PM   #23 (permalink)
Upright
 
sillygirl>> i dont think they're fresh meat; no way. Sometimes all i say is "hi"; and they say "hi" back, roll their eyes and turn away. $%&*$&%*$&*$&%*$&!!!!
MeshMan2000 is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 06:25 PM   #24 (permalink)
Professor of Drinkology
 
I'm reading your post, Mesh, and a few details float to the top. (One) You are at a bar dressing like a teenager -- I can only assume that you are (two) in a college-bar setting and are, in fact, underage and drinking. Or maybe this is my own personal experience filtering into the scenario and shading how I answer your request for information. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Like you, I have never had a significant amount of fun in bars. The only women that really want to hang out with me are those that came in the front door already my friends.

I read above that guys only go to bars for 2 reasons: to get sex and alcohol. While this is generally accurate, its not necessarily true outside of the youth-bars (the typical hole in the wall college bar). I, personally, go to bars to hang out with my _friends_ and have a _few_ drinks -- not getting drunk. Try changing your venue. Go to a bar with women that are interesting in meeting people (eg., singles bars). Quick! Before you shut me off ... let me put that in context. Think about why the women are going to the bar. They are probably going to hang out with friends and have a few drinks (like me and my friends) -- they might not be seeking sex or anything of the sort. Then again, maybe they are. I can't really pigeon-hole by using sweeping generalities to cover either the male or female gender to describe why they are going to the bar.

Well, I guess my point is ... pack up the show and move to a more hospitable venue. Take your act to an audience that is interested. Dunno...

Then again, it might have something to do with the underage detail from above. It could be that you are too young in the opinions of the women ... or...

...Maybe they were just bitches...
__________________
Blah.

Last edited by tritium; 11-09-2003 at 06:27 PM..
tritium is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 06:28 PM   #25 (permalink)
Professor of Drinkology
 
Maybe you have a boogie hanging out of your nose or your fly was open. I've had both situations happen to me ... never at the same time though.
__________________
Blah.
tritium is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 07:55 PM   #26 (permalink)
An embarrassment to myself and those around me...
 
VitaminH's Avatar
 
Location: Pants
Quote:
Originally posted by tritium
I'm reading your post, Mesh, and a few details float to the top. (One) You are at a bar dressing like a teenager -- I can only assume that you are (two) in a college-bar setting and are, in fact, underage and drinking. Or maybe this is my own personal experience filtering into the scenario and shading how I answer your request for information. Correct me if I'm wrong.
His "accent" (or whatever sembelance of one that is put forth via his word choice online) seems to be that of a non American. I'm thinking he might be in a country where the drinking age is lower (e.g. Australia) or nonexistant. Not to many Americans I know use "mate" that often or say they've "started university".

Regardless, the age thing can still hold. Women who are older will often turn away from a "silly boy" who is hitting on them. I've just turned 21 a few months ago (allowing me into bars in the US) and believe me, I've been a "silly boy" before. Then again, a friend and I got chatted up by a couple of ~30 year olds last night (he is 22, I as previously stated am 21...).

Best bet is to never give up. Girls can be rude, but as others have said, its gets it over quick and easy. There's nothing worse than thinking you have a chance only to get rejected in the long run and walk away feeling bitter because you feel like you've been jerked around. Trust me on that.
__________________
"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
- Napoleon Bonaparte
VitaminH is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 09:53 PM   #27 (permalink)
lost and found
 
Johnny Rotten's Avatar
 
Location: Berkeley
No offense, but you may want to reconsider the footwear. They've already checked you out from head to toe before you've said a word, and any detail that stands out is a mark against you. Also, well-groomed hair is a plus.

However, hitting on girls at a bar is a bit risky in the long run, especially for a young puck. You're competing against older gents with more experience, nice threads and important-sounding jobs. I've always had the best luck being introduced to a mutual friend at a private party.
__________________
"The idea that money doesn't buy you happiness is a lie put about by the rich, to stop the poor from killing them." -- Michael Caine
Johnny Rotten is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 10:06 PM   #28 (permalink)
Upright
 
tritium>> vitaminH is right; i'm from Australia so the drinking age here is 18+ (i'm 19), and i hang around girls in similar age bracket.

i dunno; i'm starting to think you're all right. bars just aren't the place to pick up.

johhny rotten>> but honestly, does footwear really matter that much? i mean these are the shoes i always wear:



don't tell me they're not the coolest in the world
MeshMan2000 is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 10:16 PM   #29 (permalink)
Banned
 
Backup??? What the hell do you need back up for? Is your mate gonna hold your rubbers for you?
Mango is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 10:24 PM   #30 (permalink)
Upright
 
i dont know; it makes rejection that one degree easier to handle heheh
MeshMan2000 is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 10:25 PM   #31 (permalink)
lost and found
 
Johnny Rotten's Avatar
 
Location: Berkeley
Quote:
Originally posted by MeshMan2000
don't tell me they're not the coolest in the world
It takes a charismatic individual to overcome Chuck Taylors in a bar situation. I recommend a dressy pair of boots. And khakis or cargo pants over denim, unless they make your butt look nice . But your friends have to be similarly attired.
Johnny Rotten is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 10:31 PM   #32 (permalink)
Upright
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Johnny Rotten
I recommend a dressy pair of boots. And khakis or cargo pants over denim, unless they make your butt look nice .
man, those type of clothes are so uncomfortable. I don't want to appear forced; like i've got a stick up my ass or something
MeshMan2000 is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 10:42 PM   #33 (permalink)
Semi-Atomic
 
Location: Home.
Ok, Converse All-stars are very cool....on a guy walking down the street. Put a little more thought when you're going out to pick up chicks in a club.
Also, you were probably already drunk. (I don't know, I'm just assuming) and people act stupid when they're drunk. She could probably just tell, and wasn't in the mood for a young, drunk guy.
I'd say, if you're looking to score at a bar, dress up a little, stay reasonably sober, and just keep trying.
__________________
Someday, someone will best me.
But it won't be today, and it won't be you.
Jonsgirl is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 10:54 PM   #34 (permalink)
Upright
 
yea, that's probably good advice

i don't get smashed before i try, anyways
MeshMan2000 is offline  
Old 11-10-2003, 01:04 PM   #35 (permalink)
Hiya Puddin'! Miss me?
 
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Quote:
Originally posted by spads
Either way, its a lot more acceptable because women know you will be hitting on them there. If they didn't like this fact, they wouldn't put themselves in the environment.
This is the same mentality as "Women know that sexy clothing makes men want to touch them and whistle at them. If they didn't like this fact, they wouldn't put themselves in these clothes."

Just because a woman goes to a bar
Just because a woman might be wearing sexy clothing
Just because a woman has a vagina
Just because a woman is pretty
Just because a woman ....

Does not give you the right to be a pig.

That is all.
__________________
=^-^= motdakasha =^-^=
Just Google It.
BA Psychology & Photography
(I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.)
motdakasha is offline  
Old 11-10-2003, 01:05 PM   #36 (permalink)
Upright
 
Quote:
Originally posted by motdakasha
This is the same mentality as "Women know that sexy clothing makes men want to touch them and whistle at them. If they didn't like this fact, they wouldn't put themselves in these clothes."

Just because a woman goes to a bar
Just because a woman might be wearing sexy clothing
Just because a woman has a vagina
Just because a woman is pretty
Just because a woman ....

Does not give you the right to be a pig.

That is all.
amen
biffy is offline  
Old 11-10-2003, 05:03 PM   #37 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: San Francisco
I guess I am a behaviorist at heart. Sadly it is a learned behavior. Most men just don’t get the hint when a woman is not interested. Most women learn this early on, and unfortunately you are just a victim of other people’s past idiocy.

Women will let you know when they are interested, and not interested. They can be extremely subtle about it (and some not so), but the signs are always there. It can be as simple as the look in her eye if you catch a glance, the way she smiles at you, a light touch on the arm while talking in a group, even their posture standing at a bar. If you are observant you will see these things and together they tell you who is approachable and who isn’t. When you see it, that’s when you need to get your courage up and act. If you don’t see the signs then they probably aren’t there to be seen and you will get the same results you have been getting.

Read the signs so you don’t fall into the Alpha male trap and be that pig that motdakasha mentions.
__________________
"If something has to give then it always will."

-- Editors
Nazggul is offline  
Old 11-10-2003, 06:55 PM   #38 (permalink)
Psycho
 
89transam's Avatar
 
Location: Central California
Quote:
Originally posted by motdakasha
This is the same mentality as "Women know that sexy clothing makes men want to touch them and whistle at them. If they didn't like this fact, they wouldn't put themselves in these clothes."
A similar situation.

I was walking down the street the other day dressed in blue police pants,police jacket,police badge,police hat,shoes and and a gun when someone came running up to me scraming.
"Officer, officer come quick theres a robbery taking place"
I was schocked , stunned even.
"Wait just one minute" I replied "Just beccause Im dressed like this does not make me a police officer"

Moral of the story..you may not be a whore, but you sure are dressed in a whore's uniform.
89transam is offline  
Old 11-10-2003, 09:24 PM   #39 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: San Francisco
Quote:
Originally posted by 89transam
A similar situation.

I was walking down the street the other day dressed in blue police pants,police jacket,police badge,police hat,shoes and and a gun when someone came running up to me scraming.
"Officer, officer come quick theres a robbery taking place"
I was schocked , stunned even.
"Wait just one minute" I replied "Just beccause Im dressed like this does not make me a police officer"

Moral of the story..you may not be a whore, but you sure are dressed in a whore's uniform.

I'm sorry, but that is a most pathetic comparison. A uniform is designed to convey a message, fire, police, doctor, whatever. A woman dressed well is not an invitation. Get a freakin clue.
Nazggul is offline  
Old 11-11-2003, 01:07 AM   #40 (permalink)
Upright
 
i dont know if they should be referred to as "whores". maybe they just want to look nice; i mean, just because i dress neat and clean, doesn't necessarily mean i'm out to pick up.

I'm always dressed neat and clean, in fact.
MeshMan2000 is offline  
 

Tags
girls, hell, wrong


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:10 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360