OK Don't laugh... did she have an orgasm?
 

I've had sex with my girlfriend about 6 times now, with our longest session lasting for about 45 minutes (damn lubricated condoms kill me!) Well she's my first and only sexual partner, and I'm her first and only sexual partner. In addition, she's never masturbated before I fingered her. So the two of us together are quite unexperienced....

What bothers me is that in the half-dozen or so times we've had sex and the many times I've fingered her, I'm not fully sure if she's orgasmed at all. She'll scream and yell and everything, but I'm not sure. And since she's never masturbated, I'm pretty sure she doesn't know the full sensation either. So I guess I'm asking, how can I tell?

My SO literally has body shivers and screams and her vagina kinda squeezes around me very tightly..

She wouldn't lie about it, and she makes it quite vocal :)

contractions, shivers, screaming... all good signs.

also if she tells you she has to stop to catch her breath or something ;)

Yeah contractions are quite common,m also her breathing patterns are very important. Lastly, theres also sometimes a rush of blood, sometimes to her chest or somewhere else? So that's another thing to look out for.

Try to persaude her to try masturbating as well. It's important for her to work out some things for herself as well.

How old is she?

A pretty telltale sign is when she has to ask you to stop because she's too sensitive. Ordinarily, my girlfriend likes me to keep my hand there (or whatever part of my body happens to be there at the time), but she doesn't like me to move around much any more. She likes the pressure.

If, on the other hand, I stop before she orgasms, she gets this really funny look on her face like "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STOPPING?" Sometimes I do it just for the face :lol:

You can usually tell though. There is ordinarily a point where it shifts from body rocking, screaming, shivering to slow, even panting and soft touching.

I know exactly what your talking about. I love to tease my fiance about 15-20 minutes in by pretending to collapse on her as if i came. It drives her nuts and she starts muttering "no no no no..." and then i get to look her in the eye and make her scream Yes again.:eek:
When your with someone you love, that;s just plain good fun. If however it's a hookup, that's just plain mean.

LMAO i used to do that too... then i'd hammer it back in and she'd scream (the good kind) because she'd relaxed... and it'd make her come instantly almost every time, if i had the timing right... great stuff.

And yeah- only for the "lovers", not so much the "fuckers".

Well, when I O, its usually shivering, etc, but its always diff from other women. My bf usually asks if I finshed, and I dont mind if he asks at all.

Why not ask her? If you dont feel comfy asking, most of the time, after an O women just slow down and become completly relaxed. I say most, because Ive heard women just keep going and going, wanting a chain of O's..who wouldnt, but generally thats what I hear in the "girls changeroom" so to speak.

Another idea is to let her to tell you what she likes...like ask your woman what feels good to her..the way you move your finger this way or that. It helps both you and her figure out what makes her body go WOO~! Take turns and play the "how does this feel"game. Im sure itll leave you both breathless..

Good suggestion.

If she is shy about talking about it, you can have her hold your hand and use your hand to masturbate herself. You can learn a LOT about the proper speeds and pressures that she likes. And, it is fun!

It might be an O or it might not. I know many, many women who don't have orgasms until their mid to late 20s just due to them not knowing much about their bodies and the guys knowing even less. The suggestions here are good. No doubt she is probably enjoying it (or at least the signs are pretty good), but only she knows if she is orgasming. I have also known women who have orgasms who didn't know what it was and only discovered it later when it was described to them by other women. Conversation about what she likes about a certain thing is key here. Some people think it takes away from the sexual mood to talk about what they like during it, but the rewards are so great that it is something you need to do. My wife would get orgasms from time to time during the first 8 or 9 years of my marriage, but she didn't think she "deserved" them every single time (which is just ludicrous). She could orgasm every single time through masturbating. I finally convinced her to show me, and now she gets off every single time because we make it a priority.

I'm always reminded of the (joke) response:
Who Cares?!?

But there is some truth to that, if you think about it in a less misogynistic way.
One of the best ways to ruin sex is to focus entirely on the orgasm. I know you sincerely just want to please her fully, but you'll get so much more out of the experience if you stop thinking of the Big O as the reason for sex.
It's the connection, the pleasure of the extreme intimacy that is the whole purpose.
Try to enjoy the experience as a whole, and not worry about the finish.
Whether or not you guys reach climax together, separately, or not at all, you'll both finish happy.:icare:

You won't be able to tell until she experiences it and tells you. Trust me she hasn't and she won't know what it is until you get lucky one time. Once she's had one she tell you and you'll know from then on out...

if shes enjoying it and your enjoying it, dont worry about the BIG O, it will come, maybe you both need to be more experianced,which is okay, id try and suggest to her to play withherself so she knows what it feels like and what she likes.

If she can't get herself to orgasm, the odds of another person being able to get her to orgasm are pretty remote. I'd say start with that, then proceed from there...

bobw, she's 18 and I'm just 3 weeks shy of 18 as well. I guess I might be worrying about 'the big O' a bit too much, the times we've had sex were very VERY enjoyable, so I'll let it come when it comes... (yes, pun intended)

Not much to add to some really good comments above... talk to her... explore... let her show you... but as you said... don't make it the 'issue'... it's the journey... not the destination.

Hear hear!!!

Sometimes people treat sex like playing two slot-machines facing each other. Like it's a waste of time unless you have a simultaneous jackpot. This sort of "Big Bang Theory" cheapens the whole thing and brings stress, anxiety and worry where there should only be intimacy and passion.

Sex is a physical, emotional, spiritual experience. It ain't about the orgasm.

If you need to ask because youre not sure.....she didn'y have one.

And even if you were sure, theres still a chance she didn't have one. I will now paraphrase what a girl told me, after some coercing by a friend of hers, about a friend of mine.

"Oh god, you know that guy? I fucked him. It was horrible. he didn't know what he was doing. And he wouldn't fucking finish. I had to fake 4 orgasms before he stopped. I even had to do the screaming full body shaking and clenched vagina routine."

Do not take any behaviour that is easily faked as an indicator. Im looking at you people who mentioned body shaking and clenching. Only take signs of things she cant consciously do. Like a hot flush, sweating, breathing, etc.

The only path you can take to knowing is practice. So whip out your 18 year old cock and fuck some more girls and learn.

why don't you ask her?

You can always just...




ask her?

^^ thats what I was going to say...

communication is key to good sex.

It's not unusual for either of you to not orgasm your first several times between the sheets. It's a matter of getting in tune with what your body and mind like. And practice was never so much fun :crazy:

How mean! :D

You gotta talk. If she's faking it won't do either of you any good. If she has never masturbated then you don't stand too much of a chance....how can you know what to do, if she doesn't.
Good luck

People, find plenty of time (several hours...days if you can), find a place where you won't be bothered, and try all sorts of things. Dedicate at least an hour to the other person and see what works. Seriously, if you can manage spending an hour touching, caressing, exploring her body, not only will she get into it, she'll get turned on beyond belief and that's the best way for anyone to have an orgasm. (FYI - this works for guys too).

I had GF whose lips(on her mouth) would go ice cold when she had the big O.

I once had a gf who wasn't satisfied until I had an orgasm. Don't get me wrong this isn't necassarily a bad thing, but she was seriously a nympho and we would sometimes have sex four or more times a day -- insatisiable this girl was. Sometimes I simply wanted to give, I like to give, and I don't think that sex has to be just about me.

Don't make this all about her (or all about you), if you're enjoying yourself don't get hung up on who's have one and who isn't -- you'll both be getting off!!!

Happy Humping.

In my case, it's me the one who asks. And she's asked sometime. No probs in asking.