Being friends with the ex? Need advice.. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Jesus Pimp · 10-26-2003, 02:06 PM

Me and my ex-girlfriend had a mutual breakup this past week, but we still want to be friends and she told me she wants me to still be a part of her life. She told me she needs some time so I'm going to give it to her. So I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice of what to do and what not to do once we start hanging out again.

Would asking her about the possibility of getting back together in the future a bad idea? I still love her very much. Our problems for the breakup were due to distance and me living at home with my parents. I'm moving out into my own place in a few weeks. So I dunno..

numist · 10-26-2003, 02:22 PM

Dont ask her back together right away, ride it out and see what develops. Its always a good idea to get comfortable with the current situation before going to change it.

Friends is good though, far better than enemies...

Will · 10-26-2003, 02:34 PM

I agree with Numist. I'd wait until she brought the question up. Being friends would probably be better anyways. "Boyfriends/Girlfriends come and go, but friends are forever."

Rubyee · 10-26-2003, 02:34 PM

Nope. No way. Never works. You would have to be Jesus himself for it to work out, not Jesus Pimp. I think the getting back together thing MIGHT work if you don't try too hard to stay friends. But the friends thing RARELY, IF EVER works. Trust me. Jealousy is a huge factor, and you can't control it, no matter how hard you try.

sillygirl · 10-26-2003, 04:03 PM

It's possible. But don't expect to be okay with seeing her date someone else. Good luck, friend!

World's King · 10-26-2003, 04:25 PM

It's all well and good for like two months before she meets some new cat with a huge cock that makes twice as much money as you ever will. She'll talk about him non-stop because you are friends now and it should be okay... fucking wrong. The jealusy will grow and grow till one day you find yourself naked in the bushs in front of her house at 4 in the mornng...

Okay... Sorry.

Lunchbox7 · 10-26-2003, 04:34 PM

Im of the opinion that you cant be friedns with ex's. There is too much emotional turmoil there. My advice: Dont.

31Friction · 10-26-2003, 05:57 PM

yeah its def hard seeing an ex with another person at first. and with getting back together in the future, if it happens it happens. im still friends with alot of my ex's. one of them is one of my best friends. it all depends on what type of person she is I guess... hope things work out for ya though.

aintyoboyfriend · 10-26-2003, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by World's King
It's all well and good for like two months before she meets some new cat with a huge cock that makes twice as much money as you ever will. She'll talk about him non-stop because you are friends now and it should be okay... fucking wrong. The jealusy will grow and grow till one day you find yourself naked in the bushs in front of her house at 4 in the mornng...

Okay... Sorry.

Is this a true story, Worlds King?

It is my belief that you cannot be good friend and former lovers.

You can be aquantances, maybe see each other in public occasionally with other people, maybe talk on the phone or online occasionally.

If you try to be more than that, one of you will revert back to the things that you did in the relationship. If the other likes it, you will start an endless cycle of getting back together and breaking up.

If the other person doesn't like it, it is going to destroy your friendship.

kofspades · 10-26-2003, 06:14 PM

I think you can still talk every once in a while. I don't think you can be "best friends". That just doesn't work. As far as asking her out again, wait at least a year or two.

analog · 10-26-2003, 06:44 PM

Many people touched on this, and so will I- being friends is not the problem. It's the jealousy issues you will face when you see or hear about her going on a date with another guy. YES, YOU WILL FEEL JEALOUS, because you're still in love with her.

However... if you broke up mutually and she still wants you in her life, there is most likely a chance things can improve. Move out, get settled, and then start talking about getting back together. She might have been scared you're not going anywhere (in life), and that's why she feels uneasy about being with you.

Best of luck, keep us up on it!

crayzeeredhead · 10-31-2003, 12:08 PM

I personally am friends with lots of my exes! I don't feel jealous if I see them with another girl, actually I fell relieved! I look at it this way we are not together for a reason and trust me with my ex's as friends i know why we are not a couple! I also think alot in my situation especially that we started as friend and should have stayed that way! So it made sense that we went back to being friends! The only issue in any of my ex/ freindships is that you have to work out the relationship differences before any friendship ensues!!

10-26-2003, 02:06 PM	#1 (permalink)
Jesus Pimp The Original JizzSmacka	Being friends with the ex? Need advice.. Me and my ex-girlfriend had a mutual breakup this past week, but we still want to be friends and she told me she wants me to still be a part of her life. She told me she needs some time so I'm going to give it to her. So I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice of what to do and what not to do once we start hanging out again. Would asking her about the possibility of getting back together in the future a bad idea? I still love her very much. Our problems for the breakup were due to distance and me living at home with my parents. I'm moving out into my own place in a few weeks. So I dunno.. __________________ Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard.

10-26-2003, 02:34 PM	#4 (permalink)
Rubyee I'm baaaaack!	Nope. No way. Never works. You would have to be Jesus himself for it to work out, not Jesus Pimp. I think the getting back together thing MIGHT work if you don't try too hard to stay friends. But the friends thing RARELY, IF EVER works. Trust me. Jealousy is a huge factor, and you can't control it, no matter how hard you try. __________________ You don't know from fun.

10-26-2003, 04:03 PM	#5 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	It's possible. But don't expect to be okay with seeing her date someone else. Good luck, friend! __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...

10-26-2003, 04:25 PM	#6 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	It's all well and good for like two months before she meets some new cat with a huge cock that makes twice as much money as you ever will. She'll talk about him non-stop because you are friends now and it should be okay... fucking wrong. The jealusy will grow and grow till one day you find yourself naked in the bushs in front of her house at 4 in the mornng... Okay... Sorry. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

10-26-2003, 05:57 PM	#8 (permalink)
31Friction Addict Location: STL, MO	yeah its def hard seeing an ex with another person at first. and with getting back together in the future, if it happens it happens. im still friends with alot of my ex's. one of them is one of my best friends. it all depends on what type of person she is I guess... hope things work out for ya though. __________________ "Saints need sinners." Alan Watts

10-26-2003, 02:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
numist Banned Location: UCSD, 510.49 miles from my love	Dont ask her back together right away, ride it out and see what develops. Its always a good idea to get comfortable with the current situation before going to change it. Friends is good though, far better than enemies...

10-26-2003, 02:34 PM	#3 (permalink)
Will Upright	I agree with Numist. I'd wait until she brought the question up. Being friends would probably be better anyways. "Boyfriends/Girlfriends come and go, but friends are forever."

10-26-2003, 04:34 PM	#7 (permalink)
Lunchbox7 Addict	Im of the opinion that you cant be friedns with ex's. There is too much emotional turmoil there. My advice: Dont.

10-26-2003, 06:14 PM	#10 (permalink)
kofspades Crazy	I think you can still talk every once in a while. I don't think you can be "best friends". That just doesn't work. As far as asking her out again, wait at least a year or two. __________________ Even if you stop the clock, it gives the right time twice a day. Once we get out of the eighties, the nineties are going to make the sixties look like the fifties.

10-26-2003, 06:44 PM	#11 (permalink)
analog Banned	Many people touched on this, and so will I- being friends is not the problem. It's the jealousy issues you will face when you see or hear about her going on a date with another guy. YES, YOU WILL FEEL JEALOUS, because you're still in love with her. However... if you broke up mutually and she still wants you in her life, there is most likely a chance things can improve. Move out, get settled, and then start talking about getting back together. She might have been scared you're not going anywhere (in life), and that's why she feels uneasy about being with you. Best of luck, keep us up on it!

10-31-2003, 12:08 PM	#12 (permalink)
crayzeeredhead Tilted Location: here& there but here today	I personally am friends with lots of my exes! I don't feel jealous if I see them with another girl, actually I fell relieved! I look at it this way we are not together for a reason and trust me with my ex's as friends i know why we are not a couple! I also think alot in my situation especially that we started as friend and should have stayed that way! So it made sense that we went back to being friends! The only issue in any of my ex/ freindships is that you have to work out the relationship differences before any friendship ensues!! __________________ For everything there is a neverending cycle- birth, death, rebirth. Evil can and will not exist without good and visa versa. You also reap what you sew. There is a sliver of truth in every saying -those are a few!!