visotech

My girlfriend is a virgin but ive fingered her, and no sign of blood or anything. How far in is the hymen? She says that it might already be broken from general wear and tear since shes almost 18 by now. I fingered her, i didnt see or feel any signs of it, u guys still think its there? I just want to know for sure before we have sex, and want to know what to do in the situation....

analog

Well... go slow. If you break it, you break it, and she'll be a little sore. There will probably be blood, but most likely only a little. You can wipe it up easy enough, nothing huge.

And about not seeing blood or anything, you'll know when you break it- she will be quite vocal about it.

matt_mll

it's also possible that she has no hymen at this point in life. Either due to vigorous exercise, masterbation, tampon use or many other reasons. The three virgins I've been with did not have one. Not unusual in this day and age. Women don't lead the type of life they used to. Additionally, If I remember correct, there are a significant amount of women that are born without one, but i could be wrong (I'll let a learned female answer that one)

As far as the situation, don't worry about it. You'll find out soon enough. Like analog says "go slow." Learn as much as you can about your woman, and don't be rushed. When it comes time, be gentle and listen to her (both vocal and body language).

Rubyee

As far as I know, I never had one. No sports, no tampons, and, at the time I lost my virginity, no mastrubation. My boyfriend thought that I really wasn't a virgin since I didn't have one, which led to many problems. So it is a huge possibility that she never had one, as well. My theory is- who cares? It isn't a big deal, so don't make one of it.

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arch13

True that. There are way more important things about a persons first sexual experiance than this.

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phunktastic

I've always wondered.

Assuming she has one, and you have to break through it... wouldn't it hurt like hell for both of you? I can't stand the thought of jabbing my penis into a solid structure. How easily does it give?

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raeanna74

The hymen gives rather easily. It's very common for it to be broken simply by tampons or fingering by the girl or her guy. I'm not sure about the subject of women just not having them - I don't know anything about that. It is rather permeable and fairly light. It does cause some bleeding but not a great amount. Personally when mine was broken it didn't really begin bleeding right away. I had some mild bleeding for about 2 or 3 days. For me it wasn't particularly painful. Slightly uncomfortable. Just go slow and be gentle and you'll be safe. She'll let you know if it's uncomfortable.

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phlox

phunktastic, it's not a concrete wall. It's more like....a damp fruit rollup. An easily teared membrane.

phunktastic

haha,, ok thanks guys.

One less thing to worry about

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Corneo

The Hymen is kinda like that seal on a Snapple Bottle. It it is broken then someone has tampered with it... lol.

sillygirl

It is possible that she might have just broken it in everyday life... I didn't bleed my first time. I was active in dance, cheer, and a few other sports. Never masturbated-ever. We were taught in school that activities that are a part of everyday life can break it.

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Lunchbox7

I ve been with a couple of virgins and I found it pretty hard to break. Once broken it was easy to get mr Wiggly in but that firsst time with them it was very difficult. Maybe every girl is different

T-Prime

Maybe?

World's King

I thought "The Hymen" was a Jewish holiday?

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smithja0423

lots of good advice up here ^___ . I'd reiterate this point: You've got lots of other things to think about besides the hymen when faced with a females first sexual experience.

skysooner

I have been there for a girl's first time twice (one girlfriend and my wife on our wedding night). The experiences were completely different. On my girlfriend, it broke quickly, there was a little bleeding, and sex was pretty comfortable for her quickly. There was actually very little drama (but I really didn't know much about women at that time). With my wife, it was completely different. She had never been fingered before let alone having a penis inserted. There was actually a large amount of blood (happens to about 10% of women per the doctor in the hospital later that night). She was in pain and bleeding. That pretty much killed the honeymoon and helped her to associate sex with pain for a little time. It got better in a month or so. I remember being pretty sensitive to her that night, but given the situation, it was hard to be as good as I know I could have been. I had been celibate for a year, etc.

Count_Khocula

yep, different for all women. i had a bleeder once and it scared the crap out of me. it was not just a little blood, it soaked her blue jeans and even the carpet pretty thoroughly.

Jervis

Woah, I would have freaked out. Plus people would think you were deflowering virgins or you were murdering someone!

yournamehere

Different circumstances for different people.

Many years ago, I had a girlfriend who had an industrial strength hymen. We tried half a dozen times to have intercourse - with no luck. I didn't want to push too hard, as I didn't want to hurt her - perhaps I was being <i>too</i> cautious. When I went home for spring break, I suggested she see a doctor to have it surgically "broken."

Long story short - I didn't see her again until nearly twenty years later - in a town 100 miles away from where we'd met. The first thing she said to me while I was giving her a hug was "Don't we have some unfinished business to attend to?" Unfortunately, she was married (very unhappily) at the time, so, even though she was game - I declined (oh so reluctantly). <i>Sigh . . .</i>
That would have been a great reward for a 20-year wait.

Hope you're happier now, Tammi.

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Ogre840

I just wanna say thanks, I was curious on this subject, and was thinking of starting a thread (since search is down I couldn't just search) but I found it! Great info guys and gals!