I think we'll all try to learn from your mistakes.
Nobody wants to go to the doctor with one of those "one-in-a-million chance, doc" stories.

umm, i too have used pliers to fish things out- but not out of her ass. i know the feeling you speak of here. we were using one of those 1960's style massagers with the detachable plastic heads. well, one detached 'inside of her' and after pondering the hospital, i used a pair of needle nose pliers to retrieve the offending hunk of plastic. that was a tense moment, but surprisingly the pliers worked well.

btw, the wife banned all massager play after that.

"If it hasn't got that safety flare,
keep it out of your derriere."

-Jackie Chiles -

wow!!! unbelievable...... does stuff like that really happen?

can she laugh about it yet?

What sort of stimulation does a vibrator provide anally for a women? I figure they don't have any prostate or anything so they dont feel anything...

My GF and i have done the same position and situation. Fortunatly nothing went Poof on us. Personally have nightmares about this kind of thing happening.

YIKES!!! hahahah man i dunno what is funnier, your description (POOF! it was gone. Right up her ass) or some of the replies in here.....

So during the time you were trying to fish the viberator out, was it still buzzing?

wrong. there are nerves there, just like on y'all... no prostate != doesn't feel good.

Yes, it was still chugging along. lol.

all i can say is next time use a wrist strap on that thing, you know like the one on your digital camera :)

what kind of punishment would anal sex warrant?.. what does court martialling entail? I have never heard of the sex limitations in the military, seems weird that they can do that stuff... I will add that to my ever growing list of reasons not to join up.

Mostly scary.

In the military, a person is subject to all Civilian laws, as well as all Military laws, so life is a bit more tricky. I am not anti-military at all, I had a blast in the USAF, but I also feel that NOBODY has the right to regulate what goes on in my bedroom. As long as everything is consensual, mind your own damned business. Punishment for "Deviant" sex acts could be loss of pay, loss of rank, discharge, prison, etc. Yay.

I am crying...

I would just die to have had an experience like that ...

I am sooo Lonely

Sob

that's a wild post buddy; glad to hear that it all worked out

Being in the Marine Corps, I can simpathize with you man. I've had a couple friends that have barely avoided court martial a couple different times for similar things. I agree though, considering we as members of the military put our lives on the line, it would be nice if the UCMJ would stay out of the bedroom.

I'm glad that you were able to solve a potentially harming situation. This is a definite classic story. Very funny and scary at the same time.

I have a question, was it still on when it slipped in?


Glad

Yes, it was still buzzing away. lol.

Damn does that sound painful! So was she getting off while it was way in there or just scared as hell?

Actually, she didn't know until I told her. So the question is: even though I knew, did I wait until I was done? What would You have done?

(it was a small pinky-type vibe.)

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had to try to contain my stiff laughing in the middle of the study hall...

Speechless.

Glad you at least had some fun out of the whole ordeal.

youre a lucky man my friend. give my best to the mrs.

I saw a picture of a girl with a pretty cameltoe. Her bikini bottom was sucked into her pussy and I got to thinking.
You know how the diaphram can suck/blow air in/out of your lungs. Can it also suck/blow in/out of the pussy? Or, in this case the anus?
Of course the stomach muscles also could be used. I would think heavy breathing and contraction of stomach muscles could suck anything into your body. A vibrator has a pointy end and a flat end. It could easily go in, but not out.
Be careful with those little sex toys!

I haven't laughed that hard all weekend long. Thank you and sorry for your loss. . .

Hey, it's been 10 years since it happened, and she's an ex-wife now, so I had to share. It is a very funny story. It was really scary at the time, because we were both in the USAF, and we would have been in big trouble if we had gone to the base hospital. But looking back, it's pretty funny. lol.

i wonder what would have happened if she had to goto work with a vibrator turned on in the ass
HAHAHAHAHA

Sick leave until the batteries ran out. :D

hahe . very entertaining read. next time make sure you have a long 3 foot cord tied .. if there are no flares .. then you can just yank it out .. (ow)

anyone know of a website detailing the laws inside your bedroom when you're in the military?

hahahha holy shit. guess thats why they make plugs eh?

that's fucking hilarious

I never saw the pliers coming!!!

Call in MacGyver

Don't give up, buy one of them things with electric cords on em...ya can pull it right back out, and get on with your business!

Trust me, it's funny as hell now, but at the time, we were both pretty nervous. The US Military has zero-sense-of-humor when it comes to sex, even between a maried couple. If we have had to go to the base hospital, well other than being extremely embarassing, we would also have been punished. She was quite the trooper, digging that thing out like she did. I sure couldn't get it out. lol. ( I did try, but I was afraid that I would hurt her.)

LMFAO.......When I was a Hospital Corpsman in the Navy, we had a few visits with things lodged in the poopshoot. Don't worry about being turned in for that. It falls under the Dr-patient confidentiality rule (yes even in the military that applies). FYI-All the things we pulled, were from men's asses and that was before the dont ask dont tell rule. God...what a woman!

Talk about an ANAL probe!!!!

Funny ish!!

Ahem. Not to make this all political and shit, but those regs were in force when I and my husband enlisted back in 1985, and they were in force before that. No need to tar and feather Ashcroft and Bush for rules THEY didn't invent. Carry on.

/steps off soapbox

That was hilarious and reminded me of another story I read in Maxim that was sent in by a reader who had a misadventure with anal beads.

He was slowly feeding the beads into his partners anus and then pulling them back out and she was digging it big time. So he gets excited and decides to put all the beads in at one time........and then "yanked em out like I was pull-starting a god damn lawnmower." After that, there was a "loud noise, a lot of poop..." and what we can assume was a classically awkward moment.