10-19-2003, 02:17 PM | #1 (permalink) |
Tilted
Location: Windsor, ON
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Best friends with benefits!
I mean seriously, isn't this the best way to go? You get to satisfy your sexual urges AND satisfy your need for companionship without leaving yourself emotionally open to heartbreak. No commitments, no strings attached. Discuss.
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10-19-2003, 02:19 PM | #2 (permalink) |
Is In Love
Location: I'm workin' on it
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I couldn't do it. Sure, it does sound like the most ideal situation for some, but I guess I'm still looking for all of the above. The best friend/boyfriend package.
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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great. |
10-19-2003, 02:54 PM | #3 (permalink) |
It wasnt me
Location: Scotland
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I did that 25 years ago. At the time it was perfect for us both, and things stayed like that for 5 years.
We got married almost 20 years ago. It's still pretty damn good :-)
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If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten |
10-19-2003, 03:44 PM | #4 (permalink) |
Poo-tee-weet?
Location: The Woodlands, TX
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sex for me (and most people i would assume) is an emotional thing... i know i would become emotionally involved...
not that i would mind too much depending on the situation and time etc...
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-=JStrider=- ~Clatto Verata Nicto |
10-19-2003, 06:04 PM | #9 (permalink) |
don't ignore this-->
Location: CA
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sex is better if there's an emotional connection, but it's still good without it... I think I wouldn't mind having a FWB just so I can get over the insecurities that seem to go hand in hand with monogamy... Learn to just have fun and not worry about what she's doing when I'm not around.
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I am the very model of a moderator gentleman. |
10-19-2003, 06:12 PM | #10 (permalink) |
Tilted F*ckhead
Location: New Jersey
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Sorry, I couldn't resist.
-------------- PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _______(DD/MM/YY) by ___________ (fill in name) and _____________ (fill in name). This agreement shall cover the following rules and principles: 1. No sleeping over, ever – if its that good, you can come back to repeat it in the morning. 2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening. 3. No calls before 9pm -- we don't have anything to talk about. 4. None of that "lovemaking" crap -- only sex allowed. 5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me? Do I look fat in this?) The answers will be nowhere, no, and yes, so don't ask. 6. No plans made in advance -- that is why you are called the "backup," unless you're from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement. 7. All gifts accepted -- including money. 8. No baby talk -- however, dirty talk is encouraged. 9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers -- it's really none of your damn business. 10. No calling each other "friends with privileges," we are not friends, just bed buddies. 11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is okay -- don't be offended. 12. No extra clothing -- I don't want you leaving anything behind when you leave. 13. No falling asleep right after sex -- it's over, so get up, get dressed, go home, and don’t hit your ass on the door going out. 14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it -- I really don't care. 15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason. 16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend." 17. Doggie style is the preferred position -- the less eye contact, the better, plus we can watch tv at the same time. 18. NO condoms means NO sex. 19. Bring your own drink -- I am not a liquor store. 20. No phone use, please -- I don't want anyone calling back looking for you. 21. If going to a hotel room, we either split the cost, or alternate who's paying... you pay this time, I pay next. 22. Don't bring any of your friends with you unless they're gonna join the party. * Extra tip for successful booty calls: The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void, and you will then be removed from the Booty Call List and deleted from phone memory and e-mail list. In otherwords, you will be blocked from all communications until you understand the rules. Participating Party 1: Signature:_______________________________________ Date: ________________ Participating Party 2: Signature:_______________________________________ Date: ________________ |
10-19-2003, 06:47 PM | #12 (permalink) |
Is mad at you.
Location: Bored in Sacramento
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I want some kind of connection with the person. Sex has a lot of responsibility and I never really realized all the stuff it stirs up in a relationship, I don't think I would want to deal with all that stuff in only a friendship.
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This too shall pass. |
10-19-2003, 06:56 PM | #13 (permalink) |
beauty in the breakdown
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
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Yeah, I have to say that I think I would become attached.
I also think that the best relationships are essentially best friends. The ones that I have noticed lasted the longest really do just seem like friends more than anything else. Not to say that I wouldnt mind hooking up with a friend occasionally, but for me, that would essentially mean the start of a relationship. I think the only time I could have random sexual activity with *no* strings attached would be if, say, you met a girl at a party. Although doing that frequently isnt exactly the safest thing in the world to do.
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"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws." --Plato |
10-19-2003, 10:15 PM | #16 (permalink) |
Justified
Location: West Lafayette, IN
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I couldn't do it, because I usually get attached to a person really bad, so I am sure it would just lead to that. It'd be nice if I could do the whole friends with benefits thing though. I wouldn't mind using that pre-booty agreement right about now. :-D
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Take notice. Take interest. Take me with you. |
10-19-2003, 11:28 PM | #17 (permalink) | |
Irradiation for fun and profit
Location: Controlled access area
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Quote:
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10-20-2003, 01:49 PM | #19 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: St. Louis, MO
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The one time I entered such a relationship it only took the girl about a week to get completely emotionally BOUND to me. She cut off a long-term relationship just so should could have a better shot at me (and we live two states apart, we were going to the same school for about a month). I ended it then.
It hasn't worked in practice and I don't see it working very well in theory, either. The act is just too emotional, and I doubt that all parties involved in a fuckbuddy relationship can keep emotional distance for very long.
__________________
The facehugger is short-lived outside the egg which normally protects it. Armed with a long grasping tail, a spray of highly-concentrated acid and the single-minded desire to impregnate a single selected prey using its extending probe, it will fearlessly pursue and attack a single selected target until it has succeeded in attachment or it or its target is dead |
10-20-2003, 01:52 PM | #20 (permalink) |
Poison
Location: Canada
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I like sex with no strings attached.
Sex is sex...Making love to a girl is a whole different thing, Something I haven't done...Except with one girl. All the rest is just sex.
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"To win any battle, you must fight as if you were already dead" -Musashi |
10-20-2003, 02:07 PM | #21 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: Rio Grande Valley, Texas
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I'm conflicted about this one:
I think that sex can be "just sex", but the majority of Americans (at least, this may be too narrow) are raised in a culture where sex is brainwashed into us to equal love. Sex without love in these cultures is sometimes less than optimal. Theoretically, one could distance one's self from the cultural influences, and just have fun, but that can be /very/ difficult, even for someone with a strong will. I know I can't do it.
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"I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." -- John Cage (1912 - 1992) |
10-20-2003, 02:50 PM | #22 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: northern california
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best way to go by far. But isn't that why they made cousins... hehehehehehe
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...We find ourselves in a struggle for our very right to exsist... We will not go quietly into the night... We will not give up without a fight... |
10-20-2003, 03:22 PM | #23 (permalink) | |
The sky calls to us ...
Super Moderator
Location: CT
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Quote:
That's something I didn't need to hear. Really, did you need to say that? For me, I'd rather have sex within some sort of relationship than just fucking. It's not brainwashing that did it, it just doesn't appeal to me that much. I'm not saying that I wouldn't, but I won't just go fuck someone because I'm horny. |
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10-20-2003, 03:39 PM | #24 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: New Mexico
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I truly need the sense of purpose, of belonging, or conection, of loving and being loved, that come from marriage. But if I were a rich man, I'd be sore tempted to have a mistress on the side. Sexually, that would be the greatest.
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Trueheart |
10-20-2003, 04:49 PM | #26 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: University of North Carolina at Greensboro
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My current girlfriend and I did this for about 2 weeks or so before we realized we both wanted more in our relationship. We both realized that we had really strong feelings for each other, and that FWB wasnt what we wanted. We've now been going out ever since. Going on almost 5 months now.
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Conclusion: Flamethrowers and Furries go togerther like Pol Pot and the Cambodian populace. Last edited by Captain Canada; 10-20-2003 at 04:53 PM.. |
10-20-2003, 05:33 PM | #27 (permalink) |
Registered User
Location: Oklahoma
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Fun if you are both into it, but it rarely happens that way. Usually one gets attached and then ends up faking not caring for the other person just to stay near them. I know that I would never be able to maintain such a relationship for long.
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10-22-2003, 03:20 PM | #31 (permalink) |
narcissist
Location: looking in a mirror
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Hmm, I'm currently involved in a pretty serious relationship (got together as juniors in HS, now I'm a college sophomore), and I don't see it ending anytime soon, but if it does I think I'll be looking for something more casual, since I've been in serious relationships with no real breaks since I was a freshman in HS.
And if I dooo need a FWB I've got a girl in mind that'd work quite nicely. /end impossible dreaming
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it's all about self-indulgence |
10-22-2003, 06:03 PM | #32 (permalink) |
Tilted
Location: The Great Northwest
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If you can just keep it friends
It does get harder when one gets attached. I found with myself and my friends the more times you have sex it adds to the emotional connection.
I have gotten seriously attached to the "friend with benefits" I have in the past two or three months. It's hard. |
11-06-2003, 07:53 PM | #35 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: STL, MO
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I have casual sex with friends on occasion (last night). I try to not make it terribly regular because of the chance that emotions may get in the way. It's fun most of the time though. I don't personally see anything *really* wrong with it. Just practice safe sex kids
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"Saints need sinners." Alan Watts |
11-06-2003, 08:15 PM | #36 (permalink) |
Junk
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I'm lucky in the sense that the women I frequent are mature enough to understand the difference between shit and bullshit. If people feel fucking is better when in love good for them. Sex is just one of the many experiences in life in which personal meaning can be applied to for whatever emotion is sought.
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" In Canada, you can tell the most blatant lie in a calm voice, and people will believe you over someone who's a little passionate about the truth." David Warren, Western Standard. |
11-06-2003, 08:51 PM | #38 (permalink) |
not your typical god-fearing junkie
Location: State of Confusion
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Personally, I have atleast 5 or 6 that I rotate....Its nice to have more than one because some are busy some nights and some have boyfriends occasionally.
It works out fine for what we want. And nothing more. I'm probably a bastard for this in some way, but they don't want anymore than sex, and personally, I don't either. My only vice is they have to be tested for VD so we're all still clean afterwards. Of course we use protection It works.
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the light that burns twice as bright burns half as long and you have burned so very, very brightly |
11-06-2003, 09:55 PM | #39 (permalink) |
Tilted
Location: Australia
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Yeah I've had a 'fuckbudy'. Started of as good friends and we ending up having sex on her birthday after a few to many drinks. Was great, we were both single at the time and decided that having sex on ocassions was fun but swore we would never 'make love'. Stuck to that plan for nearlly 1 & 1/2 years on and off depending on the other relationships we've been in.
Made me trully realise that there is a world of difference between sex and making love. There both great but the later can't be beat when in a great relationship, onlly problem is they are pretty rare. |
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benefits, friends |
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