Am I Paranoid? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

LittleOralAnnie · 10-14-2003, 10:15 AM

Okay this is the situation. I met this really great guy when I was away at work. When I left we exchanged phone numbers(his idea). We've talked several times since then and the conversations have been great.

Our last convo we had, I had stated to him that I missed him and everyone else. He reciprocated the missing me part and also stated that he looked forward to seeing me again. Which took me by surprise. I assured him he'd see me very soon because I would be hearing news on my transfer that week.

Since then, I called about 3 times filling him in on the info about me moving and etc. He didn't answer the phone but I left voice mails for him. I was coming into his town(my new town) and left a voice message stating that I'd be there and if he'd want to see me or talk to give me a call. He's still not called and it's been about a week or so since I was up there last.

He is busy working 7 days straight and long hours and also is an avid hunter/fisher so I was thinking that maybe he's just not had time to call. But phone calls only take a couple minutes to do.

Am I being paranoid or does he just not care? Should I call him and tell him it's bugging me that he hasn't called, or should I wait until I move there to speak with him? Should I just accept that he's too busy right now? Any advice and thoughts on the matter from both genders is appreciated

Averett · 10-14-2003, 10:27 AM

I would hate that. I feel for you. The not calling thing really pisses me off.

Sure, he may be busy. Or he may have lost his balls and is just avoiding you. Hopefully it isn't that.

You could call him and let him know that you're getting annoyed. Let him know that you're interested and that you don't want to continue to call if he isn't. Nobody wants to be a pain in the ass. After this call if he still doesnt call back it's probably best to shut the books on this one.

I hope he contacts you

Sleepyjack · 10-14-2003, 10:35 AM

Averett seems to be the queen of phone etiquette and i agree with her.

Harshaw · 10-14-2003, 10:38 AM

I have a friend who went through something similar. He hadn't seen his girlfriend for a while (couple of weeks). She never called him, never answered emails, rarely spoke to him on ICQ. So he finally asked her if she was getting sick of him. She told him that he had the wrong idea, and it would get better in a month or so.

He is a jerk for not calling back, but he may just be busy. Averett is right on the money. I just wanted to share that story so you would know that it does happen.

yournamehere · 10-14-2003, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Harshaw
I have a friend who went through something similar. . . .

Is he the same friend that started about 3 threads about her, using your username

__________________________________________________

I'm hoping he's just been too busy lately, but it would be prudent to allow for the possibility that perhaps he saw you as an occasional partner, what with you living out of town. The fact that you're moving to his town may be scaring him off - he may not think of you in terms of a serious, exclusive relationship. Or - he might already be in a relationship - have you discussed this with him in the past?

Good luck - I hope I see a happy update soon

Plan9Senior · 10-14-2003, 10:57 AM

OMG, you guys are going to make this girl look stupid!

LittleOralAnnie, don't waste your time anymore. You have called MORE then enough and the ball is in his court. If you call anymore you are going to look pathetic in his eyes and he will lose any interest that he had, if he had any to begin with. Sorry to come across harsh, but I would hate for you to make yourself look foolish by continuing to pursue somebody who isn't making any effort at all with you.

You can be the best looking girl around, but if you come across as desperate or too easy to get then it makes us men lose interest very quickly.

Harshaw · 10-14-2003, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by yournamehere
Is he the same friend that started about 3 threads about her, using your username

Oddly enough no, I seem to live in some black hole of shitty relationships.

All of you in good relationships should thank me and my friends. We are the ones sucking away all the baddness.

yournamehere · 10-14-2003, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Harshaw
All of you in good relationships should thank me and my friends. We are the ones sucking away all the baddness.

Nah - there's more than enough left over to go around!

Averett · 10-14-2003, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Plan9
OMG, you guys are going to make this girl look stupid!

I understand why you think that. And I know that she could possible end up looking desperate. But why should she worry about that? I think we need to forget about the stupid dating rules and do what we want.

Personally I'd rather look desperate and call the guy instead of sitting around waiting for him to call. And if he doesnt call then I guess he's not interested. But hell, I took the chance, right? Better than asking yourself "What could have happened if I called?"

omega2K4 · 10-14-2003, 11:26 AM

I, as a male, think that the guy has lost interest in you (no offense). If it has been over a week since he has had contact with you, he is trying to avoid you. It could very well be that he has been busy and whatnot, but he would had to have checked his messages at one point. My suggestion to you, is that you should call him once more, ask him why he is avoiding you, and if he doesn't answer in a couple of days, forget about him. Some guys are total dickheads, you can find yourself a better man.

Jedbeck · 10-14-2003, 12:17 PM

I agree with omega2K4, you should call him one more time. It could be he has been busy until late hours and has not wanted to call and bother you so late, but then again he could be a jerk. Put the ball completely in his court. Let him know you do not want to bother him if he wants nothing to do with you.

If he doesn't call, well he wasn't that special anyway.

Plan9Senior · 10-14-2003, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Averett
I understand why you think that. And I know that she could possible end up looking desperate. But why should she worry about that? I think we need to forget about the stupid dating rules and do what we want.

Personally I'd rather look desperate and call the guy instead of sitting around waiting for him to call. And if he doesnt call then I guess he's not interested. But hell, I took the chance, right? Better than asking yourself "What could have happened if I called?"

I fully understand the logic as to how you feel about it, but remember, she already took 3 chances. I don't know about you but I certainly don't want to spend time with another person if I feel like I have to force myself upon the person. Just my logic, doesn't mean its right

Aladdin Sane · 10-14-2003, 07:50 PM

No more calls. Forget about this guy. He's not interested.

Kakos · 10-14-2003, 08:19 PM

I, as a guy, think that you have called enough. Either a) he doesn't want anything to do with you or b) he's too busy. If he was REALLY REALLY interested, he would have definitely called you by now.

It's his turn now... let him make his move.

little limey · 10-14-2003, 08:29 PM

If you have called three times that's enough. He either is not interested or enjoys playing evil games. He know's you're interested, it's his turn to call back. if you start off a relationship with you chasing after him the whole time it's not going to end happy. My mom is ina relationship like that right now and she married the guy! She's depressed all the time. Poor gal.

LittleOralAnnie · 10-15-2003, 01:37 AM

Thank you, I appreciate all your advice and I think I'm going to wait and not call him. I'd hate to blow our friendship if he was thinking I wanted more. Although it would be nice to have more. I'd prefer to get to know him better first before pursuing anything at all.

Regardless of how he feels, whether good or bad, he'll have to deal with the fact I'm moving and will be working in the same building as he is.

I misjudged him once before and I regretted it so I'm just going to give him the benefit of the doubt and just play by ear when I get there.

Jedbeck · 10-15-2003, 05:35 AM

Good luck I hope all works out for you.

vveronica · 10-15-2003, 08:32 AM

NO MORE CALLS!!! some times guys are only attracted to long distance relationships,,, or he is very involved in someone else, or married. Whatever it is you called enough. No more or you are going to never ever be able to have any control if a relationship does evolve.

MSD · 10-15-2003, 11:33 AM

He doesn't want to move the relationship ahead, and unless he's in a coma in the hospital or being held hostage somewhere, he just doesn't have the balls (or maybe the courtesy) to call you and admit it. Either he doesn't want for you to feel rejected, and is trying to avoid the subject altogether, or he doesn't feel that he owes you the courtesy of giving you a call and letting you know. If it's the first one, you should let him know that it's better to know than to be left hanging, and if it's the second one, slap the hell out of him when you see him.

10-14-2003, 10:15 AM	#1 (permalink)
LittleOralAnnie Banned	Am I Paranoid? Okay this is the situation. I met this really great guy when I was away at work. When I left we exchanged phone numbers(his idea). We've talked several times since then and the conversations have been great. Our last convo we had, I had stated to him that I missed him and everyone else. He reciprocated the missing me part and also stated that he looked forward to seeing me again. Which took me by surprise. I assured him he'd see me very soon because I would be hearing news on my transfer that week. Since then, I called about 3 times filling him in on the info about me moving and etc. He didn't answer the phone but I left voice mails for him. I was coming into his town(my new town) and left a voice message stating that I'd be there and if he'd want to see me or talk to give me a call. He's still not called and it's been about a week or so since I was up there last. He is busy working 7 days straight and long hours and also is an avid hunter/fisher so I was thinking that maybe he's just not had time to call. But phone calls only take a couple minutes to do. Am I being paranoid or does he just not care? Should I call him and tell him it's bugging me that he hasn't called, or should I wait until I move there to speak with him? Should I just accept that he's too busy right now? Any advice and thoughts on the matter from both genders is appreciated

10-14-2003, 10:27 AM	#2 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	I would hate that. I feel for you. The not calling thing really pisses me off. Sure, he may be busy. Or he may have lost his balls and is just avoiding you. Hopefully it isn't that. You could call him and let him know that you're getting annoyed. Let him know that you're interested and that you don't want to continue to call if he isn't. Nobody wants to be a pain in the ass. After this call if he still doesnt call back it's probably best to shut the books on this one. I hope he contacts you __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

10-14-2003, 10:38 AM	#4 (permalink)
Harshaw Is mad at you. Location: Bored in Sacramento	I have a friend who went through something similar. He hadn't seen his girlfriend for a while (couple of weeks). She never called him, never answered emails, rarely spoke to him on ICQ. So he finally asked her if she was getting sick of him. She told him that he had the wrong idea, and it would get better in a month or so. He is a jerk for not calling back, but he may just be busy. Averett is right on the money. I just wanted to share that story so you would know that it does happen. __________________ This too shall pass.

10-14-2003, 10:57 AM	#6 (permalink)
Plan9Senior Banned Location: Orange County, California	OMG, you guys are going to make this girl look stupid! LittleOralAnnie, don't waste your time anymore. You have called MORE then enough and the ball is in his court. If you call anymore you are going to look pathetic in his eyes and he will lose any interest that he had, if he had any to begin with. Sorry to come across harsh, but I would hate for you to make yourself look foolish by continuing to pursue somebody who isn't making any effort at all with you. You can be the best looking girl around, but if you come across as desperate or too easy to get then it makes us men lose interest very quickly. Last edited by Plan9Senior; 10-14-2003 at 11:00 AM..

10-14-2003, 07:50 PM	#13 (permalink)
Aladdin Sane Degenerate Location: San Marvelous	No more calls. Forget about this guy. He's not interested. __________________ Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

10-14-2003, 10:35 AM	#3 (permalink)
Sleepyjack Fast'n'Bulbous Location: Australia, Perth	Averett seems to be the queen of phone etiquette and i agree with her.

10-14-2003, 11:26 AM	#10 (permalink)
omega2K4 Natalie Portman is sexy. Location: The Outer Rim	I, as a male, think that the guy has lost interest in you (no offense). If it has been over a week since he has had contact with you, he is trying to avoid you. It could very well be that he has been busy and whatnot, but he would had to have checked his messages at one point. My suggestion to you, is that you should call him once more, ask him why he is avoiding you, and if he doesn't answer in a couple of days, forget about him. Some guys are total dickheads, you can find yourself a better man.

10-14-2003, 12:17 PM	#11 (permalink)
Jedbeck Crazy Location: Ohio, USA	I agree with omega2K4, you should call him one more time. It could be he has been busy until late hours and has not wanted to call and bother you so late, but then again he could be a jerk. Put the ball completely in his court. Let him know you do not want to bother him if he wants nothing to do with you. If he doesn't call, well he wasn't that special anyway.

10-14-2003, 08:19 PM	#14 (permalink)
Kakos Upright Location: New Brunswick, Canada	I, as a guy, think that you have called enough. Either a) he doesn't want anything to do with you or b) he's too busy. If he was REALLY REALLY interested, he would have definitely called you by now. It's his turn now... let him make his move. __________________ There are 3 types of people in this world... those who can count and those who can't. KAKOS

10-14-2003, 08:29 PM	#15 (permalink)
little limey Psycho Location: Room Nineteen	If you have called three times that's enough. He either is not interested or enjoys playing evil games. He know's you're interested, it's his turn to call back. if you start off a relationship with you chasing after him the whole time it's not going to end happy. My mom is ina relationship like that right now and she married the guy! She's depressed all the time. Poor gal.

10-15-2003, 01:37 AM	#16 (permalink)
LittleOralAnnie Banned	Thank you, I appreciate all your advice and I think I'm going to wait and not call him. I'd hate to blow our friendship if he was thinking I wanted more. Although it would be nice to have more. I'd prefer to get to know him better first before pursuing anything at all. Regardless of how he feels, whether good or bad, he'll have to deal with the fact I'm moving and will be working in the same building as he is. I misjudged him once before and I regretted it so I'm just going to give him the benefit of the doubt and just play by ear when I get there.

10-15-2003, 05:35 AM	#17 (permalink)
Jedbeck Crazy Location: Ohio, USA	Good luck I hope all works out for you.

10-15-2003, 08:32 AM	#18 (permalink)
vveronica Psycho Location: northern california	NO MORE CALLS!!! some times guys are only attracted to long distance relationships,,, or he is very involved in someone else, or married. Whatever it is you called enough. No more or you are going to never ever be able to have any control if a relationship does evolve. __________________ ...We find ourselves in a struggle for our very right to exsist... We will not go quietly into the night... We will not give up without a fight...

10-15-2003, 11:33 AM	#19 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	He doesn't want to move the relationship ahead, and unless he's in a coma in the hospital or being held hostage somewhere, he just doesn't have the balls (or maybe the courtesy) to call you and admit it. Either he doesn't want for you to feel rejected, and is trying to avoid the subject altogether, or he doesn't feel that he owes you the courtesy of giving you a call and letting you know. If it's the first one, you should let him know that it's better to know than to be left hanging, and if it's the second one, slap the hell out of him when you see him.