3-somes... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

WhatAboutBob · 10-13-2003, 09:25 AM

I am sure that this topic has been exhausted, but in all honesty, I am somewhat enamored with the idea.

Is it a sign of infidelity? Is it just being adventurous?

I think it has something to do with watching her with another woman that does it, I wouldn't want to have sex with the 3rd or anything for that matter...

We have been approached numerous times, but I think the other woman wants me out of the picture (go figure, lol).

Just wondered if anyone had any ideas on either to squash the cliche or to press on...

arch13 · 10-13-2003, 11:31 AM

They can be very un-healthy for a majority of realtionships. Most men thinks it's going to be aboiut them and are suprised that, yup, the women just want you out of there.

Your right that this topic is exhausted, so search for what others have already said.

Remember that only a small percentile of relationships can sustain this activity for any length of time, and that the monogomy of the act is 0%, since the definition of monogomy is being commited to one person. i'm not even going to play devils advocate on "open" relationships because i've rarlely heard that argument made well or convincingly.

Just my .02 though.

rockbehemoth · 10-13-2003, 04:31 PM

From someone's who's been there:
If you love her, don't do it.

rodgerd · 10-13-2003, 04:41 PM

If the other woman wants you out of the picture, don't. If you want to have this type of fun, you need to be with someone who understands that you come as a package.

It's like any other sex: it can be great, it can be lousy. It depends on the people involved and how good a "fit" you are for one another.

motdakasha · 10-13-2003, 05:00 PM

From someone's who's been there:
If the chemistry is right, it's fun and doesn't cause heartache.

Ace_O_Spades · 10-13-2003, 05:37 PM

me and my girlfriend had a threesome with another girl right before i moved away to university

i made a thread about it a while ago, great fun

but it made me realize how much more there is out there, i've since broken up with my girlfriend and explored my options while at university

so, in a way I'm happy with it.. because i would never have had the experience otherwise

Jedbeck · 10-13-2003, 06:11 PM

I am not sure I would want a 3-some. On one hand it would be great to have two women at once, but on the other hand I would almost rather putting all that energy into pleasing my fiancee in every way possible.

h45e · 10-13-2003, 06:27 PM

Remember what the movie "Road Trip" Said:
Each other cancels it out, so it isnt cheating ;oP

i8one2 · 10-13-2003, 09:27 PM

An explorable option when and if the situation warrants.

Lunchbox7 · 10-14-2003, 06:36 AM

I think a 3-some is a universal fantasy for men. Saying that it is not necasserily the best thing to act out a fantasy. There are way too many other factors to consider. If you and your partner can work through them all and both feel totally comfortable with it then good on you. I haven't found that type of girlfriend yet. To be honest Im not sure how I would react if I found one.

vveronica · 10-14-2003, 09:36 AM

As long as it is someone you both can handle. dont force her into it nor should she force you but as was said before, if the chemistry is right GOOoooo for it...

Esen · 10-18-2003, 07:48 AM

Just lknow that instead of having to please one woman now you have to please 2 of em,
not that is bad or anything, but if you can t handle one, 2 might be ..

james t kirk · 10-18-2003, 07:55 AM

How bout a 4-some.

Two couples with full swapping.

Does that wreck a relationship too?

nukeu666 · 10-18-2003, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by james t kirk
How bout a 4-some.

Two couples with full swapping.

Does that wreck a relationship too?

ever watched 'zebra lounge'?

ismark · 10-18-2003, 04:46 PM

yup....tried it and died...

numist · 10-18-2003, 04:48 PM

my g/f and I are strictly monogamous, but she has thrown the idea around a bit.. will have to wait till some day when shes really horny and then find someone willing to join...

PF_01 · 10-18-2003, 10:27 PM

As some people pointed out. 3-somes are very risky if its a serious relationship. Most of the time its awkwardness . But if you must do it. Talk about boundaries before hand. You penetrateing the other women instead of your steady (I have talked with many people who had three-somes but once they tryed haveing sex with the other partipant the girlfriend/wife became very uncomfrontable and wierd) Anyways thats my 2 cents.

Eclipse26 · 10-18-2003, 11:20 PM

This can be a lot of fun, but definitely be cautious if she seems to have other motivations.

My ex-boyfriend and I tried a threesome with a close friend and it seemed great the first little while. But, over time...I would find her wanting to kiss me as soon as he left the room. She was more interested in me, than the 3 of us together. She seemed to want him out of the picture. Once that started, it felt more like cheating and was pretty damaging to the relationship...hence "ex-boyfriend".

Meta · 10-19-2003, 08:23 AM

Think of it this way, dude. Do you really want to hear "Are you done yet?" in stereo?

matt_mll · 10-19-2003, 02:31 PM

If you're in a serious relationship, threesomes can be dangerous unless both of you are secure about your relationship and each other. If that's the case a threesome could be some extra spice. I had a threesome with my g/f of 2 years and a co-worker of hers. It wasn't a spur of the moment type of thing; we had a chance to plan it out. We both were curious about the experience, and agreed that it would be fun. The co-worker was first reluctant, because she didn't want to ruin our relationship if anything went wrong, but we assured her that it was all about having fun. We all went out to dinner, had a few drinks to relax all the nerves, went home and had a lot of fun. We took turns paying attention to one person, and stimulating as many areas of the body as possible. The girls were a little nervous about playing in each other’s neither regions, so I led the way at first. They both warmed up quickly though. When it was my turn they both threw me on my back, and each took turns having their way with me while the other would ride my face. An interesting bonus (for the girls mostly) concentrating on the girl in front of me allowed me to last a lot longer then the usual girl on top style. They were both able to get off a couple of times before I. It truly was great and memorable night; one that my g/f says she would like to repeat.

In talking to my g/f after the fact she said there were times during the experience when she started to feel a bit jealous, but the high (it really was a high) of it all overcame that. My g/f co-worker had a lot of fun, and was able to keep an open mind, and so far I haven't seen any attachment issues or whatnot.

Would I say our love is stronger? no not really. It's not worse either because we agreed not to let emotion become involved. We set out to have some fun, and we did. I think if a couple can look at it in that light and steer clear of the emotion than everything will be fine.

Thanks for your stories everyone! Some great one's here!

Astrocloud · 10-19-2003, 07:41 PM

You know if the relationship is going to end anyways then go for it.

davik · 10-19-2003, 11:36 PM

I haven't had a threesome, but my girlfriend has been expressing interest in having another girl join us so we've been idly looking for an extra girl, but I have to say I wouldn't do it if I wasn't confident of the strength of the relationship. We've talked alot about it and made sure that we're both interested and know the boundaries so I think it'll be a good experience when it happens.

Crazy/Beautiful · 10-22-2003, 01:16 PM

As a girl if asked by a another couple to be in a threesome maybe?? very iffy. If I was with someone I really liked who wanted to bring some else in? Hell no! i would dump their ass. Two guys and a girl always work for me as well as just three women. But normally I would kick the guy out the room so I could just be with the girl!

raeanna74 · 10-22-2003, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by james t kirk
How bout a 4-some.

Two couples with full swapping.

Does that wreck a relationship too?

Yes. Personally I think swapping is much safer for the relationship than a 3 some. You don't have a 3rd wheel situation with a full swap. Most of the time the other couple is fully committed and the chance of them coming between you and your relationship with your girl is much smaller than just having another woman there.

As far as a 3some or even 4some for that matter being infidelity - I don't think it is. The synonyms for infidelity in the thesaurus are: disloyalty, faithlessness, falseness, falsity, perfidiousness, perfidy, unfaithfulness. These all seem to refer to hiding, lying, or falsehoods. If you are in the act together then you aren't hiding it from your partner.

The biggest thing to consider - you MUST know that youre girl is ok with this and what her motives are for participating. Same with the other girl/couple. When you know that - if you are still comfortable with the idea then go for it. IF you aren't COMPLETELY comfortable with it then DO NOT, do not go through with it. Any kind of play like this is based on trust - COMPLETE trust. If you can't have that then don't play with fire.

DEI37 · 10-26-2003, 12:04 PM

Actually, Heather, better yet in this scenario might be a "soft-swap." This is the couples in one room having sex with their SO. So, 2-3 couples, each with their own partner, watching and maybe touching. If it turns in to a full swap, so be it, but it's a lot less pressure that way, and then you don't have the problem of dealing with your SO having had sex with someone else.

nextlevel1 · 10-26-2003, 11:27 PM

Ive been involved in a mfm , ffm threesome and very recently seen my wife in a twosome with another hot (married) women. As long as you have talked very long about it & the consequences it could have on your relationship and dont have any feeling about it I think its ok!

I have a problem with me and my wifes friends ( the other couple thats always involved) . Her husband wants to watch while I bang her and she wants me and my wife to have a foursome with them and swap. She has even offered to have sex on the side (just me and her) now you see where the problem is coming in. I mean she is totally hot but I dont want to ruin a good friendship and my wifes trust. To us its just a recreational thing. But I have to say I much enjoy just watching the two of them (women) groove together! Makes it worthwhile.

10-13-2003, 09:25 AM	#1 (permalink)
WhatAboutBob Upright Location: Detroit	3-somes... I am sure that this topic has been exhausted, but in all honesty, I am somewhat enamored with the idea. Is it a sign of infidelity? Is it just being adventurous? I think it has something to do with watching her with another woman that does it, I wouldn't want to have sex with the 3rd or anything for that matter... We have been approached numerous times, but I think the other woman wants me out of the picture (go figure, lol). Just wondered if anyone had any ideas on either to squash the cliche or to press on...

10-13-2003, 11:31 AM	#2 (permalink)
arch13 Loves my girl in thongs Location: North of Mexico, South of Canada	They can be very un-healthy for a majority of realtionships. Most men thinks it's going to be aboiut them and are suprised that, yup, the women just want you out of there. Your right that this topic is exhausted, so search for what others have already said. Remember that only a small percentile of relationships can sustain this activity for any length of time, and that the monogomy of the act is 0%, since the definition of monogomy is being commited to one person. i'm not even going to play devils advocate on "open" relationships because i've rarlely heard that argument made well or convincingly. Just my .02 though. __________________ Seen on an employer evaluation: "The wheel is turning but the hamsters dead" ____________________________ Is arch13 really a porn diety ? find out after the film at 11. -Nanofever Last edited by arch13; 10-13-2003 at 11:58 AM..

10-13-2003, 05:00 PM	#5 (permalink)
motdakasha Hiya Puddin'! Miss me? Location: Silicon Valley, CA	From someone's who's been there: If the chemistry is right, it's fun and doesn't cause heartache. __________________ =^-^= motdakasha =^-^= Just Google It. BA Psychology & Photography (I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.)

10-13-2003, 09:27 PM	#9 (permalink)
i8one2 COMPLETED and A TRAINER Location: BEAN_TOWN	An explorable option when and if the situation warrants. __________________ LEATHER, LATEX and LACE "SSC" "Nothing That Gives Pleasure is Bad" Quality is for those who know what they want and are at peace with what they have. "S/M is about emotion; the erotic tension between my impulse toward something and my resistance against it."-- Virginia Barker

10-14-2003, 09:36 AM	#11 (permalink)
vveronica Psycho Location: northern california	As long as it is someone you both can handle. dont force her into it nor should she force you but as was said before, if the chemistry is right GOOoooo for it... __________________ ...We find ourselves in a struggle for our very right to exsist... We will not go quietly into the night... We will not give up without a fight...

10-13-2003, 04:31 PM	#3 (permalink)
rockbehemoth Junkie	From someone's who's been there: If you love her, don't do it.

10-13-2003, 04:41 PM	#4 (permalink)
rodgerd Psycho Location: Wellington, New Zealand	If the other woman wants you out of the picture, don't. If you want to have this type of fun, you need to be with someone who understands that you come as a package. It's like any other sex: it can be great, it can be lousy. It depends on the people involved and how good a "fit" you are for one another.

10-13-2003, 05:37 PM	#6 (permalink)
Ace_O_Spades The Death Card Location: EH!?!?	me and my girlfriend had a threesome with another girl right before i moved away to university i made a thread about it a while ago, great fun but it made me realize how much more there is out there, i've since broken up with my girlfriend and explored my options while at university so, in a way I'm happy with it.. because i would never have had the experience otherwise

10-13-2003, 06:11 PM	#7 (permalink)
Jedbeck Crazy Location: Ohio, USA	I am not sure I would want a 3-some. On one hand it would be great to have two women at once, but on the other hand I would almost rather putting all that energy into pleasing my fiancee in every way possible.

10-13-2003, 06:27 PM	#8 (permalink)
h45e Tilted	Remember what the movie "Road Trip" Said: Each other cancels it out, so it isnt cheating ;oP

10-14-2003, 06:36 AM	#10 (permalink)
Lunchbox7 Addict	I think a 3-some is a universal fantasy for men. Saying that it is not necasserily the best thing to act out a fantasy. There are way too many other factors to consider. If you and your partner can work through them all and both feel totally comfortable with it then good on you. I haven't found that type of girlfriend yet. To be honest Im not sure how I would react if I found one.

10-18-2003, 07:48 AM	#12 (permalink)
Esen TFPer formaly known as Chauncey Location: North East	Just lknow that instead of having to please one woman now you have to please 2 of em, not that is bad or anything, but if you can t handle one, 2 might be .. __________________ ~Esen What is everyone doing in my room?

10-18-2003, 07:55 AM	#13 (permalink)
james t kirk Junkie Location: Toronto	How bout a 4-some. Two couples with full swapping. Does that wreck a relationship too?

10-18-2003, 04:46 PM	#15 (permalink)
ismark Crazy Location: Sydney	yup....tried it and died... __________________ The Grumpy Old Bloke

10-18-2003, 04:48 PM	#16 (permalink)
numist Banned Location: UCSD, 510.49 miles from my love	my g/f and I are strictly monogamous, but she has thrown the idea around a bit.. will have to wait till some day when shes really horny and then find someone willing to join...

10-18-2003, 10:27 PM	#17 (permalink)
PF_01 Upright	As some people pointed out. 3-somes are very risky if its a serious relationship. Most of the time its awkwardness . But if you must do it. Talk about boundaries before hand. You penetrateing the other women instead of your steady (I have talked with many people who had three-somes but once they tryed haveing sex with the other partipant the girlfriend/wife became very uncomfrontable and wierd) Anyways thats my 2 cents.

10-18-2003, 11:20 PM	#18 (permalink)
Eclipse26 Tilted Location: My own private world	This can be a lot of fun, but definitely be cautious if she seems to have other motivations. My ex-boyfriend and I tried a threesome with a close friend and it seemed great the first little while. But, over time...I would find her wanting to kiss me as soon as he left the room. She was more interested in me, than the 3 of us together. She seemed to want him out of the picture. Once that started, it felt more like cheating and was pretty damaging to the relationship...hence "ex-boyfriend". __________________ What the damn

10-19-2003, 08:23 AM	#19 (permalink)
Meta Tilted	Think of it this way, dude. Do you really want to hear "Are you done yet?" in stereo? __________________ There's room for all God's creatures. Right next to the mashed potatoes.

10-19-2003, 02:31 PM	#20 (permalink)
matt_mll Crazy Location: some volcano in the middle of the pacific	If you're in a serious relationship, threesomes can be dangerous unless both of you are secure about your relationship and each other. If that's the case a threesome could be some extra spice. I had a threesome with my g/f of 2 years and a co-worker of hers. It wasn't a spur of the moment type of thing; we had a chance to plan it out. We both were curious about the experience, and agreed that it would be fun. The co-worker was first reluctant, because she didn't want to ruin our relationship if anything went wrong, but we assured her that it was all about having fun. We all went out to dinner, had a few drinks to relax all the nerves, went home and had a lot of fun. We took turns paying attention to one person, and stimulating as many areas of the body as possible. The girls were a little nervous about playing in each other’s neither regions, so I led the way at first. They both warmed up quickly though. When it was my turn they both threw me on my back, and each took turns having their way with me while the other would ride my face. An interesting bonus (for the girls mostly) concentrating on the girl in front of me allowed me to last a lot longer then the usual girl on top style. They were both able to get off a couple of times before I. It truly was great and memorable night; one that my g/f says she would like to repeat. In talking to my g/f after the fact she said there were times during the experience when she started to feel a bit jealous, but the high (it really was a high) of it all overcame that. My g/f co-worker had a lot of fun, and was able to keep an open mind, and so far I haven't seen any attachment issues or whatnot. Would I say our love is stronger? no not really. It's not worse either because we agreed not to let emotion become involved. We set out to have some fun, and we did. I think if a couple can look at it in that light and steer clear of the emotion than everything will be fine. Thanks for your stories everyone! Some great one's here! Last edited by matt_mll; 10-19-2003 at 04:25 PM..

10-19-2003, 07:41 PM	#21 (permalink)
Astrocloud Apocalypse Nerd	You know if the relationship is going to end anyways then go for it.

10-19-2003, 11:36 PM	#22 (permalink)
davik Irradiation for fun and profit Location: Controlled access area	I haven't had a threesome, but my girlfriend has been expressing interest in having another girl join us so we've been idly looking for an extra girl, but I have to say I wouldn't do it if I wasn't confident of the strength of the relationship. We've talked alot about it and made sure that we're both interested and know the boundaries so I think it'll be a good experience when it happens. __________________ "Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform." -- Mark Twain

10-22-2003, 01:16 PM	#23 (permalink)
Crazy/Beautiful Loser Location: In solitude	As a girl if asked by a another couple to be in a threesome maybe?? very iffy. If I was with someone I really liked who wanted to bring some else in? Hell no! i would dump their ass. Two guys and a girl always work for me as well as just three women. But normally I would kick the guy out the room so I could just be with the girl!

10-26-2003, 12:04 PM	#25 (permalink)
DEI37 Go faster! Location: Wisconsin	Actually, Heather, better yet in this scenario might be a "soft-swap." This is the couples in one room having sex with their SO. So, 2-3 couples, each with their own partner, watching and maybe touching. If it turns in to a full swap, so be it, but it's a lot less pressure that way, and then you don't have the problem of dealing with your SO having had sex with someone else. __________________ Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

10-26-2003, 11:27 PM	#26 (permalink)
nextlevel1 Upright Location: louisiana	Ive been involved in a mfm , ffm threesome and very recently seen my wife in a twosome with another hot (married) women. As long as you have talked very long about it & the consequences it could have on your relationship and dont have any feeling about it I think its ok! I have a problem with me and my wifes friends ( the other couple thats always involved) . Her husband wants to watch while I bang her and she wants me and my wife to have a foursome with them and swap. She has even offered to have sex on the side (just me and her) now you see where the problem is coming in. I mean she is totally hot but I dont want to ruin a good friendship and my wifes trust. To us its just a recreational thing. But I have to say I much enjoy just watching the two of them (women) groove together! Makes it worthwhile. __________________ "To be old & wise, you must first be young & stupid."