Would you date a single mom/dad? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Prince · 10-07-2003, 10:00 AM

A simple enough question... Would you date a single mom/dad? I'd appreciate it if you also mentioned why you chose what you did.

Personally, I probably wouldn't. I'm married and all, so it does not really apply to me anyway, but if I weren't...I doubt it. In the beginning of the relationship things would probably be all fine and dandy, but at some point she would expect me to meet the kids, and from thereon out it'd be the kids' interest ahead of mine. I could live with that if the kids were mine, but with someone else's kids? I don't think so.

SiN · 10-07-2003, 10:17 AM

maybe for kicks, if i was really attracted to the person..but never no way serious.

Lunchbox7 · 10-07-2003, 10:18 AM

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest

Averett · 10-07-2003, 10:20 AM

I don't know. It really would depend on the person, but I don't think I could do it.

But I don't want kids of my own, so that's another thing.

Sleepyjack · 10-07-2003, 10:27 AM

i am probably too immature atm to have any serious effect on a kids life, so probably not.

otherwise no biggie, once i finish uni and get a job it'd prolly be valid.

World's King · 10-07-2003, 10:46 AM

If it became serious then I would go with it.

I would never try to act like the father of the child though.

Bill O'Rights · 10-07-2003, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by World's King
I would never try to act like the father of the child though.

And the Universe appreciates that.

I would...and have.

absorbentishe · 10-07-2003, 11:09 AM

If I weren't married... Yes, I'd date a single mother, and be serious in the matter. Having children shouldn't complicate a relationship, but more times than not it does. Unless you were planning on getting married, or the dad was gone, you'd be a father figure, but more like a good buddy. You'd also have to consider the age(s) of the child(ren). The older the child(ren), the harder the relationship would be to survive.

micah67 · 10-07-2003, 11:36 AM

No problems with it: Instant Family!

cas305 · 10-07-2003, 12:04 PM

Being I was a single dad on the dating scene, I was lucky enough to find a woman who didn't have a problem with dating a single dad. Things worked out very well for us and we have almost been married a year now and trying to have a child together. With the poll you kinda make it sound like it is a disease or something. And whats is the deal about being for kicks, do you get a plaque on the wall that says I screwed with a single parent???

Cynthetiq · 10-07-2003, 12:08 PM

I would and have.....

but I've done it already.. and not so interested... i'd say low on the choices

sigma1042 · 10-07-2003, 12:44 PM

i wouldnt' have a problem with it at all, i'm great with kids, plus i didn't have to be there during childbirth
and once i bang her, i could tell my buddies i bagged a milf

dylanmarsh · 10-07-2003, 01:35 PM

I don't think I could handle the responsiblity of the situation because, at some point, the topic arises about settling down, etc. I suppose if the situation was right and I fell in love with the girl and the kid(s) and I got along, why not? This is a real tricky subject. I think its only human nature to want to be with someone that does not have offspring from another partner.

My final answer for this would be no. Although, if Reese Whitherspoon became single, I think I'd definitely make an exception. :P

AlCap0wn · 10-07-2003, 01:45 PM

Absolutely.

fuhrerhat · 10-07-2003, 02:27 PM

Seems like entirely too much responsibility.

amge · 10-07-2003, 03:14 PM

For kicks yes. But for long term, no way. We could have fun together, but then our thoughts on how to raise a kid might conflict. Then what are we going to do.

The kid is already going through enough. Having parents who are separated is hard enough. I don't want to be the one who is not "the Real dad".

WarWagon · 10-07-2003, 03:25 PM

I think a lot of it depends on the kid. If the kid was a baby, then there will probably be a lot of issues still lingering around with the ex. If they're in their early teens, you may get the "your not my real dad" issue, but if they're older and mature and the woman was someone I'd be willing to commit to, than sure, why not.

i8one2 · 10-07-2003, 04:15 PM

I do/did and am just proud to be in this Mother's life in a positive manner. Children are a blessing and the next generation to carry on the things that make this country great, its people.
And yes there are more responsibilities, not thinking about yourselves all the time for one, but the kids first. And the rewards are also much, much greater as well.

hobo · 10-07-2003, 04:17 PM

Unless she is the most perfect woman for me, I wouldn't date a single mom. It would bother me that I'd be raising a kid that wasn't mine but the product of my gf, eventually wife (you said serious) and another man. Its almost like she cheated on you, but not.

sixate · 10-07-2003, 04:33 PM

Now way!
I don't have a family for a reason... Because I know I'm not ready. So why would I want to get involved in someone else's? There are too many down sides to it.

Minx · 10-07-2003, 04:36 PM

I'm really disappointed, for the first time ever, with the responses on TFP. Some day one of you will fall in love with someone who has kids and then see how the tune changes. Single parents (be they men or women) aren't looking for someone to be another "Dad" (or "Mom"). If you fall in love with someone would you be so callous as to say "oh no, but I can't/won't love your children so it's all off"? That just seems so heartless to me.
And yes, you may have guessed....I'm a single mom. My boys love their father, see him often and know that he will never be replaced. And I would never expect anyone to try to take over that position. Perhaps someday someone will come into their lives and be a friend and mentor but they only have one father. I think perhaps a bit of youth is speaking here (no offence at all meant to anyone) and it saddens me a little to think that a single parent would become such a forbidden thing based solely on the fact that they had children but didn't stay in a relationship - regardless of how bad it was for that particular person and/or the kids themselves. I do not think that just because I have children means that I am now unloveable or unworthy of being with someone.

mediajunkie · 10-07-2003, 04:40 PM

I'm going to have to say no I would not. I personally just don't want a "ready-made" family.

eribrav · 10-07-2003, 05:13 PM

Minx, I think it's not so much that people would consciously NOT fall in love with a single parent; it's more that they probably would never get to that point because they wouldn't take the initial steps towards being with that person. Many people view dating as a release in their lives, and getting involved with someone with kids would take a lot of carefree pleasure out of it. Anyone who thinks that kids shouldn't affect things is crazy. The single parent has to be more careful because they are going to be exposing their kids to the people they associate with. Those dating the single parent have to be careful too because they know that what happens with the single parent could have a detrimental effect on the kids.

Add those things up, and many folks will simply choose not to be involved with single parents. It's not meant as a personal slam of anyone or even a commentary on the virtues of single parenting. That's just the way it is. (IMHO of course)

Minx · 10-07-2003, 08:18 PM

True words, eribrav...and good ones as well. I suppose I'm just a wee bit touchy on the subject at times! Thanks.

blade02 · 10-07-2003, 09:13 PM

Well as "part of youth speaking out" I would say no. Im in my second year of college, I dont want to worry about kids and such along with classes. Maybe as just a fling, but I wouldnt get serious.

wry1 · 10-07-2003, 09:24 PM

I have dated a single Mom before....and almost married her.

It didn't take, but only because she wasn't the person she portrayed herself to be ( let's just say she was using me to get to someone else - nasty, isn't it! ); but for what it was worth, I loved her, I loved her two boys, and I tried to make sure I was there for them in any and every way I could possibly be.

My best friend in Arizona is a single Mom; I'm a de-facto "Uncle" to her two children. In fact, if she hadn't been married when I first met her, I probably would have dated her instead of becoming her best friend....her divorce happened long after we became close friends, and it just never seemed appropriate to change the relationship dynamic between us.

With all that said, I would have to weigh in as being one who has no issue with dating a woman with children. Remember that it's having children that has helped make the woman or man you might be interested in, and that without them they'd be completely different people.

YKK · 10-07-2003, 09:31 PM

strictly sexually.. it would turn me on immensly.. mothers generally have larger TnA for obvious reasons.. and the fact that i couldn't have her whenever i wanted would be a tease (good thing, for me).. also, to be blunt.. the pussy fits, man..

on an emotional level.. i think i could fall in love with a mother just the same as one who is not.. plus there is a little cuteling running about being adorable at you most of the day before 8pm..

mmm.. TnA :P~ ^^

Jedbeck · 10-08-2003, 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by micah67
No problems with it: Instant Family!

Is that a "Just add Water" type of thing. LOL

123dsa · 10-08-2003, 07:28 AM

Just for kicks like Hugh Grant in About a Boy.

LSD

analog · 10-08-2003, 07:49 PM

the only reason is i hate kids and will never have any of my own, and what if i start just fucking her and then i fall for her? no way. anyhow, i'd never fuck her because the kid thing is a giant turnoff for me anyways, sorry moms out there, but it's the truth for me.

Meta · 10-08-2003, 08:18 PM

I couldn't do it. I would not ever be involved with a single mom because in my heart I would feel that there would be, or was never a time when I'd come first to her. It'd always be her kids, which of course is important, but before them it'd have been their father, a man who I'm not. And as I always put the woman first in my own relationships, I wouldn't want to get into a relationship where it's accepted right off the bat that it wouldn't be reciprocated.

anleja · 10-08-2003, 08:32 PM

When I met the woman who is now my wife, she had a newborn. The wariness of her having a very young son by another guy soon went away as I got to know her. She didn't try to make me the dad, I really can't imagine many single moms would want to try to force that upon a boyfriend. I stayed, and fell in love with her son as I fell in love with her. Before we were married we broke up for a few days, I remember being heartbroken by the thought that her son was out of my life. Now he's 2 and a half, and we have a 10 month old daughter, his half-sister, and I love them both equally.

And now that their mother and I may not stay together, I sure hope I can find someone who doesn't mind that I have a daughter!

rogue49 · 10-08-2003, 09:06 PM

Would I? Certainly
As a matter of fact, I've already done it.
She was my girlfriend for a year and a half.
She had a little girl of five.

She didn't talk, and I wasn't husband material yet. (you know, stable income, etc.)
It faded away as we grew apart...always great sex though.
Damn tall lady, 5.11 and a jock too.

arcane · 10-09-2003, 01:15 AM

id hit it...nothin wrong with a little MILF action
yaow!

fuzzix · 10-09-2003, 07:39 AM

I wouldn't have a problem with it at all.

G5_Todd · 10-09-2003, 07:53 AM

i would but it would depend on the situation........

numist_net · 10-09-2003, 08:14 AM

<-- too young to even think about it right now...

wow, first time in my life I've felt too young to vote :P

At least, at the age that I am now, if I were to go out with a single mom it would probably be a bad choice on my part.

mattevil · 10-09-2003, 08:52 AM

I wouldn't mind as long as I was attracted to her. If I had strugles with her children though I possibly would break it off but I would at least try to back them up and treat them respectfully at first.

bundy · 10-09-2003, 09:04 AM

i can´t imagine why i wouldn´t if i liked the person.
certainly, it would be a challenge, but a challenge worth taking imo.

skysooner · 10-09-2003, 10:14 AM

Taking single people with kids out of the mix takes out a large part of the dating population. Why limit yourself when you might meet someone perfectly compatible with you?

View Poll Results: Would you?
I'd date her/him and be serious about it.	64	56.14%
I'd "date" her/him, but just for kicks.	22	19.30%
Nuh uh. Not me.	28	24.56%
Voters: 114. You may not vote on this poll

10-07-2003, 10:00 AM	#1 (permalink)
Prince /nɑndəsˈkrɪpt/ Location: LV-426	Would you date a single mom/dad? A simple enough question... Would you date a single mom/dad? I'd appreciate it if you also mentioned why you chose what you did. Personally, I probably wouldn't. I'm married and all, so it does not really apply to me anyway, but if I weren't...I doubt it. In the beginning of the relationship things would probably be all fine and dandy, but at some point she would expect me to meet the kids, and from thereon out it'd be the kids' interest ahead of mine. I could live with that if the kids were mine, but with someone else's kids? I don't think so. __________________ Who is John Galt?

10-07-2003, 10:17 AM	#2 (permalink)
SiN strangelove Location: ...more here than there...	maybe for kicks, if i was really attracted to the person..but never no way serious. __________________ - + - ° GiRLie GeeK ° - + - ° 01110010011011110110111101110100001000000110110101100101 Therell be days/When Ill stray/I may appear to be/Constantly out of reach/I give in to sin/Because I like to practise what I preach

10-07-2003, 10:20 AM	#4 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	I don't know. It really would depend on the person, but I don't think I could do it. But I don't want kids of my own, so that's another thing. __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

10-07-2003, 10:46 AM	#6 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	If it became serious then I would go with it. I would never try to act like the father of the child though. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

10-07-2003, 10:18 AM	#3 (permalink)
Lunchbox7 Addict	It wouldn't bother me in the slightest

10-07-2003, 10:27 AM	#5 (permalink)
Sleepyjack Fast'n'Bulbous Location: Australia, Perth	i am probably too immature atm to have any serious effect on a kids life, so probably not. otherwise no biggie, once i finish uni and get a job it'd prolly be valid.

10-07-2003, 11:09 AM	#8 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	If I weren't married... Yes, I'd date a single mother, and be serious in the matter. Having children shouldn't complicate a relationship, but more times than not it does. Unless you were planning on getting married, or the dad was gone, you'd be a father figure, but more like a good buddy. You'd also have to consider the age(s) of the child(ren). The older the child(ren), the harder the relationship would be to survive.

10-07-2003, 11:36 AM	#9 (permalink)
micah67 Thor Location: 33:08:12N 117:10:23W	No problems with it: Instant Family! __________________ ~micah

10-07-2003, 12:04 PM	#10 (permalink)
cas305 Insane Location: Indiana	Being I was a single dad on the dating scene, I was lucky enough to find a woman who didn't have a problem with dating a single dad. Things worked out very well for us and we have almost been married a year now and trying to have a child together. With the poll you kinda make it sound like it is a disease or something. And whats is the deal about being for kicks, do you get a plaque on the wall that says I screwed with a single parent???

10-07-2003, 12:08 PM	#11 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	I would and have..... but I've done it already.. and not so interested... i'd say low on the choices __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

10-07-2003, 12:44 PM	#12 (permalink)
sigma1042 Crazy	i wouldnt' have a problem with it at all, i'm great with kids, plus i didn't have to be there during childbirth and once i bang her, i could tell my buddies i bagged a milf __________________ [Arthur] HA HA HA HA, It's a little joke![/Arthur]

10-07-2003, 01:35 PM	#13 (permalink)
dylanmarsh Sleepy Head	I don't think I could handle the responsiblity of the situation because, at some point, the topic arises about settling down, etc. I suppose if the situation was right and I fell in love with the girl and the kid(s) and I got along, why not? This is a real tricky subject. I think its only human nature to want to be with someone that does not have offspring from another partner. My final answer for this would be no. Although, if Reese Whitherspoon became single, I think I'd definitely make an exception. :P

10-07-2003, 02:27 PM	#15 (permalink)
fuhrerhat Tilted	Seems like entirely too much responsibility. __________________ Shazbot

10-07-2003, 03:14 PM	#16 (permalink)
amge Crazy	For kicks yes. But for long term, no way. We could have fun together, but then our thoughts on how to raise a kid might conflict. Then what are we going to do. The kid is already going through enough. Having parents who are separated is hard enough. I don't want to be the one who is not "the Real dad". Last edited by amge; 10-07-2003 at 03:43 PM..

10-07-2003, 03:25 PM	#17 (permalink)
WarWagon Loser	I think a lot of it depends on the kid. If the kid was a baby, then there will probably be a lot of issues still lingering around with the ex. If they're in their early teens, you may get the "your not my real dad" issue, but if they're older and mature and the woman was someone I'd be willing to commit to, than sure, why not.

10-07-2003, 04:15 PM	#18 (permalink)
i8one2 COMPLETED and A TRAINER Location: BEAN_TOWN	I do/did and am just proud to be in this Mother's life in a positive manner. Children are a blessing and the next generation to carry on the things that make this country great, its people. And yes there are more responsibilities, not thinking about yourselves all the time for one, but the kids first. And the rewards are also much, much greater as well. __________________ LEATHER, LATEX and LACE "SSC" "Nothing That Gives Pleasure is Bad" Quality is for those who know what they want and are at peace with what they have. "S/M is about emotion; the erotic tension between my impulse toward something and my resistance against it."-- Virginia Barker

10-07-2003, 04:17 PM	#19 (permalink)
hobo Archangel of Change	Unless she is the most perfect woman for me, I wouldn't date a single mom. It would bother me that I'd be raising a kid that wasn't mine but the product of my gf, eventually wife (you said serious) and another man. Its almost like she cheated on you, but not.

10-07-2003, 04:33 PM	#20 (permalink)
sixate Registered User Location: Somewhere in Ohio	Now way! I don't have a family for a reason... Because I know I'm not ready. So why would I want to get involved in someone else's? There are too many down sides to it.

10-07-2003, 04:36 PM	#21 (permalink)
Minx Junkie Location: Up yonder	I'm really disappointed, for the first time ever, with the responses on TFP. Some day one of you will fall in love with someone who has kids and then see how the tune changes. Single parents (be they men or women) aren't looking for someone to be another "Dad" (or "Mom"). If you fall in love with someone would you be so callous as to say "oh no, but I can't/won't love your children so it's all off"? That just seems so heartless to me. And yes, you may have guessed....I'm a single mom. My boys love their father, see him often and know that he will never be replaced. And I would never expect anyone to try to take over that position. Perhaps someday someone will come into their lives and be a friend and mentor but they only have one father. I think perhaps a bit of youth is speaking here (no offence at all meant to anyone) and it saddens me a little to think that a single parent would become such a forbidden thing based solely on the fact that they had children but didn't stay in a relationship - regardless of how bad it was for that particular person and/or the kids themselves. I do not think that just because I have children means that I am now unloveable or unworthy of being with someone. __________________ You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

10-07-2003, 04:40 PM	#22 (permalink)
mediajunkie Upright	I'm going to have to say no I would not. I personally just don't want a "ready-made" family.

10-07-2003, 05:13 PM	#23 (permalink)
eribrav Junkie Location: upstate NY	Minx, I think it's not so much that people would consciously NOT fall in love with a single parent; it's more that they probably would never get to that point because they wouldn't take the initial steps towards being with that person. Many people view dating as a release in their lives, and getting involved with someone with kids would take a lot of carefree pleasure out of it. Anyone who thinks that kids shouldn't affect things is crazy. The single parent has to be more careful because they are going to be exposing their kids to the people they associate with. Those dating the single parent have to be careful too because they know that what happens with the single parent could have a detrimental effect on the kids. Add those things up, and many folks will simply choose not to be involved with single parents. It's not meant as a personal slam of anyone or even a commentary on the virtues of single parenting. That's just the way it is. (IMHO of course)

10-07-2003, 08:18 PM	#24 (permalink)
Minx Junkie Location: Up yonder	True words, eribrav...and good ones as well. I suppose I'm just a wee bit touchy on the subject at times! Thanks. __________________ You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

10-07-2003, 09:13 PM	#25 (permalink)
blade02 Insane	Well as "part of youth speaking out" I would say no. Im in my second year of college, I dont want to worry about kids and such along with classes. Maybe as just a fling, but I wouldnt get serious.

10-07-2003, 09:24 PM	#26 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	I have dated a single Mom before....and almost married her. It didn't take, but only because she wasn't the person she portrayed herself to be ( let's just say she was using me to get to someone else - nasty, isn't it! ); but for what it was worth, I loved her, I loved her two boys, and I tried to make sure I was there for them in any and every way I could possibly be. My best friend in Arizona is a single Mom; I'm a de-facto "Uncle" to her two children. In fact, if she hadn't been married when I first met her, I probably would have dated her instead of becoming her best friend....her divorce happened long after we became close friends, and it just never seemed appropriate to change the relationship dynamic between us. With all that said, I would have to weigh in as being one who has no issue with dating a woman with children. Remember that it's having children that has helped make the woman or man you might be interested in, and that without them they'd be completely different people.

10-07-2003, 09:31 PM	#27 (permalink)
YKK Crazy Location: Toronto, ONT	strictly sexually.. it would turn me on immensly.. mothers generally have larger TnA for obvious reasons.. and the fact that i couldn't have her whenever i wanted would be a tease (good thing, for me).. also, to be blunt.. the pussy fits, man.. on an emotional level.. i think i could fall in love with a mother just the same as one who is not.. plus there is a little cuteling running about being adorable at you most of the day before 8pm.. mmm.. TnA :P~ ^^ __________________ We're all black sheep and we know it.. So don't fsck it up for the rest. -- Sick of It All; Yours Truly

10-08-2003, 07:28 AM	#29 (permalink)
123dsa Crazy Location: KY	Just for kicks like Hugh Grant in About a Boy. LSD

10-08-2003, 07:49 PM	#30 (permalink)
analog Banned	the only reason is i hate kids and will never have any of my own, and what if i start just fucking her and then i fall for her? no way. anyhow, i'd never fuck her because the kid thing is a giant turnoff for me anyways, sorry moms out there, but it's the truth for me.

10-08-2003, 08:18 PM	#31 (permalink)
Meta Tilted	I couldn't do it. I would not ever be involved with a single mom because in my heart I would feel that there would be, or was never a time when I'd come first to her. It'd always be her kids, which of course is important, but before them it'd have been their father, a man who I'm not. And as I always put the woman first in my own relationships, I wouldn't want to get into a relationship where it's accepted right off the bat that it wouldn't be reciprocated. __________________ There's room for all God's creatures. Right next to the mashed potatoes.

10-08-2003, 08:32 PM	#32 (permalink)
anleja disconnected Location: ignoreland	When I met the woman who is now my wife, she had a newborn. The wariness of her having a very young son by another guy soon went away as I got to know her. She didn't try to make me the dad, I really can't imagine many single moms would want to try to force that upon a boyfriend. I stayed, and fell in love with her son as I fell in love with her. Before we were married we broke up for a few days, I remember being heartbroken by the thought that her son was out of my life. Now he's 2 and a half, and we have a 10 month old daughter, his half-sister, and I love them both equally. And now that their mother and I may not stay together, I sure hope I can find someone who doesn't mind that I have a daughter!

10-08-2003, 09:06 PM	#33 (permalink)
rogue49 Loser	Would I? Certainly As a matter of fact, I've already done it. She was my girlfriend for a year and a half. She had a little girl of five. She didn't talk, and I wasn't husband material yet. (you know, stable income, etc.) It faded away as we grew apart...always great sex though. Damn tall lady, 5.11 and a jock too.

10-09-2003, 01:15 AM	#34 (permalink)
arcane Insane Location: SLC, UT	id hit it...nothin wrong with a little MILF action yaow! __________________ <Arcane> so if you banged 2000 chicks then at least one had a pen0r?

10-09-2003, 07:39 AM	#35 (permalink)
fuzzix Psycho Location: Australia	I wouldn't have a problem with it at all. __________________ I'm most definately not 'lovin' it'.

10-09-2003, 07:53 AM	#36 (permalink)
G5_Todd Junkie Location: Reichstag	i would but it would depend on the situation........ __________________ "....and when you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy." -General Franks

10-09-2003, 08:14 AM	#37 (permalink)
numist_net Banned Location: UCSD	<-- too young to even think about it right now... wow, first time in my life I've felt too young to vote :P At least, at the age that I am now, if I were to go out with a single mom it would probably be a bad choice on my part.