Ex-loves and your feelings - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

rogue49 · 09-30-2003, 05:48 PM

How do you feel when an ex-love contacts you?

These are ones you felt the big "L" for.
The ones you thought were "The One".

One just emailed me with an endearing email.
The words were neutral, but the pic said more.
Said she thought of me when she saw it.

Time doesn't seem to fade those memories for me.
I remember everything, both good and bad.
The contact throws me for a loop.

Why, after being out your life,
Why, after not much contact,
Why, would they decide to contact you with something that means something.

Does this mean they still feel for you?
If the memory of you is still there, why did it end in the first place?

There was an important reason it didn't work
And you have both gone your ways and continued life.
But that hint of feeling lingers, no matter how much you let it go.

When I love, I LOVE...doesn't matter why, or how weird, or how fast...it's just true.
And when that happens, that person will stay in my soul forever.

So, how do you feel when an ex-love contacts you?

Craven Morehead · 09-30-2003, 06:07 PM

Wow, the same just happened to me a couple of months ago. I haven't seen her for 17 years! Very little chance of us ever meeting again. She lives too far away.

I felt great. Then reality set in.

*Nikki* · 09-30-2003, 06:37 PM

Every time it has happened to me I felt a little tug at my heart.

That little voice saying "what might have been".

I wish that old loves would stay just that. I think it hurts to much to have contact with someone that you loved dearly. Maybe even you never stopped loving them. I know the one person that I loved truely with all of my heart, will remain so forever.

Just because he is not apart of my life doesn't mean he left my heart and soul.

Kinda leaves you hanging rogue. I hate that feeling.

Evil Milkman · 09-30-2003, 06:41 PM

Today, I talked to my ex-girl on the phone. I thought I still had some lingering feelings for her, but today I found out I definitely did. Even though I really was the one to break it off with her, I can't forget all of the good times that we shared together. In fact, I miss having someone there at times. I suppose that I just still have a 'thing' for her, but I know I couldn't go with her again.

Love's tough.

hunnychile · 09-30-2003, 06:52 PM

Well, let's see:
Just weeks after 9/11, I contacted someone from my past who I loved intensely for several great but rocky years. I was supposed to fly home on 9/11 and was delayed a week in a safe place (don't ask for the gory details). One thing kept crossing my mind, was He safe and sound and would our country be forever different. This person was someone I was compelled to find before I die because I wanted to know if he was the one "who got away". That's the way 9/11 struck me. I was dealing with those end of your life reflections and regrets. Now that I know he's fine and comfortable and I feel like life is going to be just fine for me also. It's too bad I found out the truth so late in my life. For me this was a revelation of immense porportions.

Sometimes the only way to heal your heart is to make contact and say what needed to be said. Even if the words are, "I'm sorry I broke your heart, please forgive me."

chavos · 09-30-2003, 07:53 PM

whew...my previous ex kept me in her life for some time, and our attraction got wrapped up in me providing emotional support for her...

I would often get overwhelmed with feelings that i missed her, i missed being intimate with her, and i missed having a love in my life...but i would intellectually know that any relationship was doomed. we've since parted ways...and that may be how it needs to stay.

There's still one girl that i had a huge crush on, who went through a whole lot of tragedy, and brought me through some of it...that if she were to contact me, i would probably break down at her first words.

absorbentishe · 10-01-2003, 12:35 PM

I have run into this one girl twice in 2 years, and each time, I could see her eyes do the same thing they did when we were together. I'm sure my feelings were the same as her's as we ran into each other. The problem is that I'm married now, and she still likes to have fun. I've also run into a girl from High school, who I really thought was going to be somebody in my future, and fortunately I didn't feel that feeling. She was still as pretty as I can remember, but I do miss talking with her. Ran into her about 5 years ago, it's been a while.

jokeR`afk · 10-01-2003, 05:04 PM

I see her every day, that sure doesn't help. Neither does feeling the same way I did the first time I met her every time I see her. If we can't be together I'd rather not see her at all, out of sight out of mind...after a while.

Edit: Actually I'm still in the denial stage, not seeing her every day might be worse.

Rlyss · 10-01-2003, 08:12 PM

My ex messaged me and e-mailed me a few weeks ago saying she wanted to be friends, I was a great guy, etc. after a year of nothing. My guess is that something happened to her and she suddenly felt bad about cheating on me back then, but I had moved on. I replied and said I don't want to be friends, I don't want to talk to her, I can't trust her, and I won't be replying to any more e-mails.

darkallaround · 10-01-2003, 08:31 PM

whenever she contacts me 2 feelings come to me with equal speed and power.

i want her to rot in hell, and
i wish she was still mine.

how utterly psychotic of me.

dylanmarsh · 10-01-2003, 10:40 PM

I find this sort of situation really quite amazing. I broke up with my last girlfriend six months ago and despite the crap we went through and how much I needed to get away from her, I was still tempted to say "I love you" when we were concluding our phone conversation. Then, when I saw her in person and gave her hug, I was so tempted to kiss her, too. Its really strange how no matter how much time passes, a part of you still longs for the other's touch. Sigh.

MichaelFarker · 10-01-2003, 11:55 PM

I think it's amazing if they are cool about it. If they start demanding more from you than you can share with them it sucks. Any person that you really loved and who loved you well can be a great part of your life. Just set up the right boundaries.

Dano069 · 10-02-2003, 08:43 AM

I've never had an ex contact me. I would love to see how she's doing and apologize over and over and over again for being such a dick. I still love her, I guess, and wish and pray for nothing but good things to happen to/for her.

numist_net · 10-02-2003, 09:37 AM

I only wish that mine would contact me, because we never broke up. Her and I shared the greatest love for a year and a half, and then were separated. She had a rocky past, and going back was too much for her. After 7 days she committed suicide, and I got her letter (mailed from Hong Kong to New York) some time after it happened. Then it all hit me, why no one answered the phone anymore, and it all hit me.

I still think of her often, and I miss her sorely.

I feel the same way about my current g/f, however, and am the ferociously protective type, because I weould never be able to live through losing her the same way I did my first.

So, I only wish I could contact my ex, it would clear up a lot.

09-30-2003, 05:48 PM	#1 (permalink)
rogue49 Loser	Ex-loves and your feelings How do you feel when an ex-love contacts you? These are ones you felt the big "L" for. The ones you thought were "The One". One just emailed me with an endearing email. The words were neutral, but the pic said more. Said she thought of me when she saw it. Time doesn't seem to fade those memories for me. I remember everything, both good and bad. The contact throws me for a loop. Why, after being out your life, Why, after not much contact, Why, would they decide to contact you with something that means something. Does this mean they still feel for you? If the memory of you is still there, why did it end in the first place? There was an important reason it didn't work And you have both gone your ways and continued life. But that hint of feeling lingers, no matter how much you let it go. When I love, I LOVE...doesn't matter why, or how weird, or how fast...it's just true. And when that happens, that person will stay in my soul forever. So, how do you feel when an ex-love contacts you?

10-01-2003, 08:31 PM	#10 (permalink)
darkallaround Tilted	whenever she contacts me 2 feelings come to me with equal speed and power. i want her to rot in hell, and i wish she was still mine. how utterly psychotic of me. __________________ the darkness it surrounds me, consumes my very soul. within this worthless existence i shall never be made whole.

10-02-2003, 08:43 AM	#13 (permalink)
Dano069 is Nucking Futs! Location: On the edge of sanity	I've never had an ex contact me. I would love to see how she's doing and apologize over and over and over again for being such a dick. I still love her, I guess, and wish and pray for nothing but good things to happen to/for her. __________________ I may look attentive, but I'm taking peeks down your blouse faster than the human eye can follow.

09-30-2003, 06:07 PM	#2 (permalink)
Craven Morehead Custom User Title	Wow, the same just happened to me a couple of months ago. I haven't seen her for 17 years! Very little chance of us ever meeting again. She lives too far away. I felt great. Then reality set in.

09-30-2003, 06:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	Every time it has happened to me I felt a little tug at my heart. That little voice saying "what might have been". I wish that old loves would stay just that. I think it hurts to much to have contact with someone that you loved dearly. Maybe even you never stopped loving them. I know the one person that I loved truely with all of my heart, will remain so forever. Just because he is not apart of my life doesn't mean he left my heart and soul. Kinda leaves you hanging rogue. I hate that feeling.

09-30-2003, 06:41 PM	#4 (permalink)
Evil Milkman Addict Location: Illinois	Today, I talked to my ex-girl on the phone. I thought I still had some lingering feelings for her, but today I found out I definitely did. Even though I really was the one to break it off with her, I can't forget all of the good times that we shared together. In fact, I miss having someone there at times. I suppose that I just still have a 'thing' for her, but I know I couldn't go with her again. Love's tough.

09-30-2003, 06:52 PM	#5 (permalink)
hunnychile Alien Anthropologist Location: Between Boredom and Nirvana	Well, let's see: Just weeks after 9/11, I contacted someone from my past who I loved intensely for several great but rocky years. I was supposed to fly home on 9/11 and was delayed a week in a safe place (don't ask for the gory details). One thing kept crossing my mind, was He safe and sound and would our country be forever different. This person was someone I was compelled to find before I die because I wanted to know if he was the one "who got away". That's the way 9/11 struck me. I was dealing with those end of your life reflections and regrets. Now that I know he's fine and comfortable and I feel like life is going to be just fine for me also. It's too bad I found out the truth so late in my life. For me this was a revelation of immense porportions. Sometimes the only way to heal your heart is to make contact and say what needed to be said. Even if the words are, "I'm sorry I broke your heart, please forgive me."

09-30-2003, 07:53 PM	#6 (permalink)
chavos Banned Location: St. Paul, MN	whew...my previous ex kept me in her life for some time, and our attraction got wrapped up in me providing emotional support for her... I would often get overwhelmed with feelings that i missed her, i missed being intimate with her, and i missed having a love in my life...but i would intellectually know that any relationship was doomed. we've since parted ways...and that may be how it needs to stay. There's still one girl that i had a huge crush on, who went through a whole lot of tragedy, and brought me through some of it...that if she were to contact me, i would probably break down at her first words.

10-01-2003, 12:35 PM	#7 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	I have run into this one girl twice in 2 years, and each time, I could see her eyes do the same thing they did when we were together. I'm sure my feelings were the same as her's as we ran into each other. The problem is that I'm married now, and she still likes to have fun. I've also run into a girl from High school, who I really thought was going to be somebody in my future, and fortunately I didn't feel that feeling. She was still as pretty as I can remember, but I do miss talking with her. Ran into her about 5 years ago, it's been a while.

10-01-2003, 05:04 PM	#8 (permalink)
jokeR`afk Upright	I see her every day, that sure doesn't help. Neither does feeling the same way I did the first time I met her every time I see her. If we can't be together I'd rather not see her at all, out of sight out of mind...after a while. Edit: Actually I'm still in the denial stage, not seeing her every day might be worse.

10-01-2003, 08:12 PM	#9 (permalink)
Rlyss The Pusher Location: Edinburgh	My ex messaged me and e-mailed me a few weeks ago saying she wanted to be friends, I was a great guy, etc. after a year of nothing. My guess is that something happened to her and she suddenly felt bad about cheating on me back then, but I had moved on. I replied and said I don't want to be friends, I don't want to talk to her, I can't trust her, and I won't be replying to any more e-mails.

10-01-2003, 10:40 PM	#11 (permalink)
dylanmarsh Sleepy Head	I find this sort of situation really quite amazing. I broke up with my last girlfriend six months ago and despite the crap we went through and how much I needed to get away from her, I was still tempted to say "I love you" when we were concluding our phone conversation. Then, when I saw her in person and gave her hug, I was so tempted to kiss her, too. Its really strange how no matter how much time passes, a part of you still longs for the other's touch. Sigh.

10-01-2003, 11:55 PM	#12 (permalink)
MichaelFarker 2+2=5? Not again! Location: Dallas, Texas	I think it's amazing if they are cool about it. If they start demanding more from you than you can share with them it sucks. Any person that you really loved and who loved you well can be a great part of your life. Just set up the right boundaries.

10-02-2003, 09:37 AM	#14 (permalink)
numist_net Banned Location: UCSD	I only wish that mine would contact me, because we never broke up. Her and I shared the greatest love for a year and a half, and then were separated. She had a rocky past, and going back was too much for her. After 7 days she committed suicide, and I got her letter (mailed from Hong Kong to New York) some time after it happened. Then it all hit me, why no one answered the phone anymore, and it all hit me. I still think of her often, and I miss her sorely. I feel the same way about my current g/f, however, and am the ferociously protective type, because I weould never be able to live through losing her the same way I did my first. So, I only wish I could contact my ex, it would clear up a lot.