09-30-2003, 02:45 PM | #1 (permalink) |
Guest
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masturbation mishaps
ok,weve all had em!
either been cought,or just plain got carried away and did something stupid! i'll give you an example! NEVER MASTURBATE WITH ICYHOT!!!! i was about 13 and didnt know any better! i was at that phase of trying it with anything i could get my hands on! vasaline,baby oil,soap in the shower,anything that was slipery basically! i found a jar and away i went,by the time i realized what i had done it was to late cause the stuff was allready "rubbed" in! |
09-30-2003, 06:26 PM | #4 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: Virginia
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used "udderly smooth"(creme used as chapstick and also for sore nether regions on castrated bulls) anyways got my dick so slippery i couldn't jerk off and had to take a shower to get the shit off. I'm just waiting on the inevitable prepration h story in this thread
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09-30-2003, 09:18 PM | #6 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Salt Lake City
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hahaha micah67 I know exactly what you are talking about, I never wank it with soap anymore because of that specific reason.
__________________
The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings. Words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out. -Stephen King |
10-01-2003, 09:48 AM | #8 (permalink) |
Sleepy Head
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I actually started off masterbating with various soft materials and not any kind of lube. I remember I had this one pair of polar fleece socks and, for whatever reason, decided to put one on Mr. Happy and start rubbin'. I did the polar fleece thing from about 13 to 17 when I discovered Aveeno hand lotion. There should really be a how to website for kids just starting out. I did damage anything but looking back, polar fleece was a bit stupid.
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10-01-2003, 10:00 AM | #9 (permalink) | |
Guest
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hears how!
Quote:
chapter #1 section #1 paragraph #1 DO NOT USE ICYHOT!LOL |
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10-01-2003, 10:46 AM | #10 (permalink) |
Addict
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I was beating off in the shower one time. I dont know why but when ever there is water around it takes me forever to cum. Anyway I was going hard for about 45 minutes. When I eveentually came the orgasm was so powerfull that I slipped over and hit my head. Obviously I didnt learn from the experience because I still do it all the time.
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10-01-2003, 11:15 AM | #12 (permalink) |
Loser
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When I was first discovering the joy of masturbation, I did it so much that I'd rub the spot just before my head raw. I was really broken up about it, too, so I tried to find some way around it, something I could use to cover up the raw spot. I ended up using Scotch tape, and while it did work for a little while, it was a BITCH to take off afterwards. I've never put Scotch tape on Mr. Majesty since.
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10-01-2003, 11:30 AM | #13 (permalink) | |
Guest
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thank god im not the only one!
Quote:
i prefer no lube at all! sometimes i can carried away and next thing i know i got a raw spot! it hurts way bad! i used to just wrap it in toilet paper and let it stick to the raw spot so it couldnt rub against anything! |
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10-01-2003, 11:36 AM | #15 (permalink) |
spurt king
Location: Out of my mind
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Oh fuck. Don't ask me how or why, but I used an eraser once (twice maybe a dozen)... chalk board not pencil. Oh so softly under ye ol head.... crazy wicked feeling doing it that way. All was fine and dandy until one day I couldn't bust. So fast and fast I erased until.... OWWWWWWWWWWWW holy shit I rubbed a whole in it.
Rubbed my self raw, literally, bled, sore ouch.
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No signature at this time. |
10-01-2003, 02:58 PM | #16 (permalink) | |
Tilted
Location: NC
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Quote:
http://www.jackinworld.com/ |
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10-01-2003, 03:42 PM | #17 (permalink) | |
Banned
Location: Bradford, UK
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Quote:
I have never used a lubricant...although once I used my saliva |
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10-01-2003, 04:36 PM | #18 (permalink) |
disconnected
Location: ignoreland
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This is a mishap of somebody else, and it is mainly a mishap because EVERYONE FOUND OUT ABOUT IT. Anyway, these 2 dorky girls in 7th grade were passing notes in class, and some kid intercepted one. It said something about how cool it is to get a condom and fill it up with chewed bubble gum. Talk about being embarrased!
As for myself, I learned early on to not use soap, for the aforementioned pee burn. That is how they should get murder suspects in custody to talk; threaten them with a squirt of Liquid Dial up the urethra. |
10-01-2003, 08:57 PM | #19 (permalink) |
Tilted
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once i was faceup on my bead and goin at it nice and lubed.
i had a really violent orgasm and sent cum raining down on myself...and got it in my eye. and i said to myself "i guess thats how SHE feels..." as i wiped it away
__________________
the darkness it surrounds me, consumes my very soul. within this worthless existence i shall never be made whole. |
10-03-2003, 12:52 PM | #21 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: In Games.
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Never go from cooking with Jalapenos to masturbation.
It Burns, It Burns!!!
__________________
---------------------------------------------- "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. |
10-03-2003, 08:34 PM | #22 (permalink) |
narcissist
Location: looking in a mirror
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Not exactly a masturbatory mistake, but I inadvertantly got a good sized dollop of shampoo on the boys, and didn't realize it for several minutes (got some in my ear, too). OUCH. For three or four days after, I had a terrible burning itch, and all the skin dried up, cracked and peeled off. THAT sucked.
Oh yeah, and one time my girl decided to use some lotion...no big deal, right? Well, yeah, actually it WAS a big deal...it was Bath and Bodyworks Cucumber Melon. The orgasm, GREAT, the uncomfortable burning all the way home up until the first bathroom break afterwards, NOT so great.
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it's all about self-indulgence |
10-03-2003, 10:42 PM | #23 (permalink) | |
Tilted
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Quote:
sounds like it could take the paint off of a chevy!
__________________
the darkness it surrounds me, consumes my very soul. within this worthless existence i shall never be made whole. |
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10-04-2003, 02:09 PM | #25 (permalink) | |
Hiya Puddin'! Miss me?
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
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Quote:
__________________
=^-^= motdakasha =^-^= Just Google It. BA Psychology & Photography (I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.) |
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10-04-2003, 02:21 PM | #26 (permalink) |
Tilted
Location: Long Beach CA
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I normally don't enjoy masturbating with lubricants, but if I have a hankering for them, then I desperately search for anything satisfactory.
One night, I wandered into my bathroom and the only thing I could find was some Head and Shoulders. I did my business and fell asleep, thinking no harm would be done. The next morning, my entire unit was scaling. For a week, it the skin (particularly the scrotum) was the offspring you'd imagine crumpled wax paper and sunburnt skin would yield. And I never spoke of it again. |
10-05-2003, 03:40 AM | #30 (permalink) | |
Banned
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Quote:
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10-05-2003, 07:44 AM | #32 (permalink) |
Crazy
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My first time, I actually had sex with a mitten. I didn't KNOW I was masturbating - I was about 11 and I just started noticing how good it felt to tub stuff down there. So I got a mitten with a soft inside and suddenly realized how awesome it was. I orgasmed and was like "WHAT THE HELL WAS -THAT-!?!?!"
Needless to say, I didn't know I "shot" anything. So a couple of days later I went back to try out my mitten, and --CRUNCH--. MY semen had hardened and I was masturbating with a crunchy, hard, pokey surface - no long soft and warm. That's my terribly embarassing masturbation story. And it was my FIRST one! |
10-05-2003, 10:04 AM | #36 (permalink) |
Loser
Location: Far too far from my Angel....
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I was in the hospital, confined to a bed (I was in traction, so I had no choice in the matter) and as a healthy 15 year-old, I needed to get a little "release", so I popped in a video some friends of my parents provided me (it had a few movies copied onto it, and evidently there had been a porno on it earlier that hadn't been completely erased) and started going to town.
Of course, once I got truly into it things got embarrassing....the "hot" nurse on the floor comes into my room, sees what I'm doing, and bolts out. .....Great regret? That she didn't stick around long enough for me to ask her for some help.... |
10-07-2003, 08:22 PM | #39 (permalink) |
Professor of Drinkology
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Read about women using the faucet in the shower to go to town so I tried it too -- very nice. Couldn't get everything in the stream like a woman but what I did manage was incredible. Not really a mishap until I tried to "scooch" back to stand up and found that I couldn't. Had to use soap to lube the tub so I could move back and stand up.
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Blah. |
10-07-2003, 09:18 PM | #40 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Toronto, ONT
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is it just me or does semen change it's texture when exposed to hot water?
i like masturbating in the shower.. on my knees so i don't fall down (SLIMM).. but after i come i find these.. balls of semen holding on to the hairs on my knees.. semen shouldn't ball.. ? maybe i just take my showers way too hot.. (hot enough to curdle cum!) ^^
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We're all black sheep and we know it.. So don't fsck it up for the rest. -- Sick of It All; Yours Truly |
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masturbation, mishaps |
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