Astrocloud

Does anyone here put up with selfish lovers -people who use you to get off in some way -who do not reciprocate.

I have a history of dumping/blowing off these people. Does anyone put up with it?

sexymama

No way -- it has to be mutual or it is just not satisfying!

However, the "selfish scene" is fun to play once in a while!

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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

Astrocloud

Selfish scene, interesting... you mean there are people who make it into a game? Do they take turns being selfish? That's actually kinda cool.

wraithhibn

Ive been with a selfish lover. Looking back, I dont know what was wrong with me. Love, I guess. Now I dont know which was worse, her for being so damned selfish(I went down on her like 5 times for every blowjob I got in return), or me for being so damned stupid for putting up with it for so long. Ive moved on to a much more satisfying situation.

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Kadath

"Selfish Lover" sounds like a Hall and Oates song.

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Astrocloud

Don't you mean "Easy Lover" by Phil Collins? That's just as bad.

i8one2

Sexuality has many uses, one of physical relief during hard day, something to make a day bright after it had been dim, one to educated, one to show power and yes, even to be selfish if I wish it to be. why do I say that, because I have been given that gift.
Ultimately I can be this way because we love each other unconditionally, communicate and understand each others roles within our relationship.

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"Nothing That Gives Pleasure is Bad"

Quality is for those who know
what they want and are at peace with what they have.

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analog

we all need selfish love at times, but it's when we make it too often is there a problem.

if i take some selfish love, i tell her how much i appreciated it, and i make sure the next time we're doing stuff i let her know i appreciated that last time, and that THIS *action or actions* is for her as a special gift.

Charlatan

Someone that is consistently selfish is an ass and I'd chuck them...

That said, there are time were the sex is all about one person's need. Selfish in small doses is acceptable. Sometimes you just want to get off...

There is something quite powerful in that.

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rogue49

Is all about the sharing & giving.
Passion & intimacy galore.

Sapper

We all have our "moments" I am sure

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sexymama

Absolutely -- you can do anything you want within the safety of your relationship as long as there is good communication!

__________________
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

darkallaround

as long as the selfish isnt permanent, im all for giving.

but i've heard some people are allergic to shellfish

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little limey

Being slefish is good when you're playing the master. Some people would get off on being used so they will stay in a selfish relationship.

sexymama

Ah, but playing the master often results in pleasuring the slave -- so who is really selfish in this scenario? Or is it truly give and take?

__________________
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

anti fishstick

i'm more of a giver. so i've never been a selfish lover, that i know of :-D now people could take advantage of that but i probably wouldn't mind bcos it turns me on more when i know i'm directly turning on the other person.

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asshopo

She goes down on me 1 out of 20 I go down on her, but it's not a selfish thing. She just isn't into it, and I love to go down on her, so it's not really a big deal.

However... if she wanted to give it more, sure, I'd take it without blinking Other than that, there isn't much selfishness in the bedroom.

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Minx

Personally I wouldn't put up with a selfish lover. A good relationship should be about give and take on both parts. As far as I'm concerned, sex should be just as much about pleasuring your partner as the pleasure you yourself receive. Having a lover who just cared about himself and his own pleasures wouldn't last with me - I would also take it as a good indication of his dealings with other people in general and a selfish person is not worth my time....either in bed or out of it.

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bermuDa

my first lover was selfish in general, especially bed. I didn't mind but it'd be nice to have someone as eager to please as I am.

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