Singles
 

I couldn't find this in a search, but i decided to post this thread for all singles who want to pine about being single and the loneliness and so forth....

Also what they'd like or want in a relationship and so on.

atm i am a little pissed at one of my good friends cause he cheated on his grifriend and didn't treat her all that well (even though he's a cool guy and all) and then they got back together recently and everything is rosey. I get a little frustrated that he fucked with such a good thing he had (even though he's got it back, it was a tough effort on his part to resolve) and seem to disrespect it and take it for granted.

To tell you the truth i don't really know where this thread is going, aside from some whimsical thoughts....although mainly i am a little pissed at being single for so long now and really want to have someone else important in my life. I've had some good times being single the past few years but I sure don't mind a change from all that.

does anyone else have anything to say about their single life, pros and cons and so on???

My single life: Shitty

It's not even like I'm out there hooking up with random guys at bars or anything. Or having sex with different people. There's been none of that. Not that I really want to be sleeping around, but I think you know what I'm getting at.

I've been told at least 5 times in the past 2 years by guys that they had a crush on me last year/in college/last summer. Well gee, thanks for the information now when it DOES NOTHING FOR ME!

I'm sure I'm coming across as really bitter and desperate. I'm not. I'm happy alone, but it would be nice to have somebody to share things with. And to make out with ;)

I think I'm a fairly decent looking girl. I never get approached though. Well, hardly ever. It's not easy to meet people. And when I do, it never seems to work out.

Maybe with this most recent guy something will happen. I'm trying not to get my hopes up though. I'm sick of being disappointed :(

Know where you're coming from with both those points. Sometimes I feel like I live in this really big house and there's a whole wing that is closed off. I know there are some nice rooms and cool stuff in their, but I can't get in.

I'm ok on my own, but it would be great to have someone to open up that area of the house and share it with, ya know?

Plus, I miss the making out. Alot. :)

Don't sweat it too much. This is the perfect time for you to perfect your hobbies and do everything you want whenever you want. Cause when you have a SO, you can't always do what you want (at least in my experience, as limited as it is).
You are only 20 years old....you have plenty of time. I was always bitter about not having a companion, and then one day I just stopped worrying about it, then all of a sudden I happened to meet my girlfriend and we have been with each other for a little over 2 years (I am the KING OF RUN ON SENTENCES!!).
Be patient...things seem to usually work out from what I've seen.

Hey Jim. I get what you're saying. But you don't understand how irritating it is for me (and other singles, I'm sure) to hear that. Being told "Oh, it'll happen when you least suspect it" just doesn't help.

I don't want to sound like I'm coming down on you, just letting you know how that sounds to somebody who's single..

Mainly comes down to being alone too long such that you become a bit lonely.

It'd be very nice to share stuff with someone else and also make out with, the most important thing :p

i don't like that it'll happen stuff either :(
The girls i've gotten with etc recently have eventuated into nothing, although i keep going to the same clubs, mainly, to meet these girls, so i guess thats the problem. And also uni is no good cause i study software engineering and its all guys, no that's too much of a bad thing....

i didn't mean to change this into where to meet people thread....

edit: i don't constnatly pine about it, only sometimes althouugh more so tonight after my basketball game, when i had a profound moment when talking to my friends girlfriend.

hopefully it'll all change tommorow, sure don't mind a change.

Well, I'm now three months into being dumped by my fiance. I was with her for 4 years. She ended it very suddennly on June 1. Have not heard a word from her since. Damned if I'll call and beg her back.

So as a mid thirties guy, I have to get used to being single and being on my own. It's very hard to get your married friends out, golf once a week is like pulling teeth. Saturday nights at home alone suck the big one. I do like the fact that I can play hockey twice a week now, golf after work whenever I want, hit the gym when I want etc.

I feel like I'm ready to do some dating though. For a non club person, whats the best way to meet "quality" women? Any ideas?

What about for a non-drinking, non-participant single in college?
My major is Computer Science, not too many chicks, and I am not yet part of any orginizations. I hate the thought of drinking as means to meet a girl....

Being alon does blow assholes. I don't know how much longer I can take it. Also, living in a dorm really puts a damper on the wanking off, so that just adds to the pressure.

I feel like I am whineing about shit I should be able to take care of. poo

Uhmm, if he cheated on his gf and treated her bad, what makes hima 'really cool guy'? I guess that kind of activity is 'ok' now? *sighs* .. Some guys and girls need to shape up, or they're never going to have a good relationship or significant other.

I'm single, age 22- do I get lonely? Yes, at times. But I'm also not one of those people who will try to date any girl just so they won't be alone. I'm a very independent person, and I love to be able to do what I want to do whenever I want to.

Am I currently looking for a girl out there to date? Of course I am. Any single guy who isn't looking probably has some issues. I'm fully confident that I'll meet my future wife when I least expect it. Whether that is one week from now or 5 years from now, I don't know. In the meantime, I'll enjoy the freedom of being independent and single

it comes and goes in waves. I'm cool with who I am and I have fun all the time, but yeah it would be nice to share some time with a girl.

Recently, I fell really hard for this girl that I work with. I totally dig her, but she is self conscious about herself and had just gotten out of a long relationship. I tried everything and I couldn't get her to open up.

It is so frustrating. Now I'm kind of wrapped up in something that is probably not going to happen, and it kills me. Makes me question everything about myself (which can be a good thing at times and in moderation).

<<sighs>> I just need to get laid.

I'm with wally, but like pappymojo it comes and goes in waves. Sometimes I'm just happy to be an individual, do what I want whenever, other times I really wish I had someone to share experiences and intimacy with.

Recently I was hooking up with a girl who had recently dumped her boyfriend (cause of multiple issues, mainly cheating and being a leech), but I recently called and talked with her and she says she's giving him one last chance (not sure how many chances he's had before), and then proceeded to tell me how she lets him walk all over her, and didn't want to even go with me out hiking or anything to avoid temptation (that second part, well both parts were rather frustrating for me). I asked her if she thought he would actually change, and she said "No". Told her to keep that in mind, keep me in mind, and have pretty much left it at that, don't really expect anything more.

I'm not really looking too hard, would be nice to find an outdoorsy girl at least. Someone I could take on real hikes (I've found my definition of hiking and other people's definition vary greatly), and show her the beautiful places I've found to venture to, clear ones mind and relax.

I've currently joined a couple clubs, Recreational Sports, and Snowboarding and biking clubs at my school, and well they are all things I enjoy, but I also see them as opportunities to get to know some more people that are into the same things I am, and see where things may go from there.

I'm fine on my own, but there are those urges and wants of a companion. Even a one-nighter has really lost it's appeal to me, I'd rather actually have a relationship.

I can relate to so much of all this.

I don't understand how so many girls can go out with so many jerks (people who really treat them badly) for so long (these relationships often endure) while I'm single. You'd rather get screwed over by this guy than go out with me?
I can only assume that these women don't want to go out with someone good for them and that they _need_ or _want_ to be treated badly. What other explanation is there?

Actually, here's a theory (and it's _only_ a theory). I'm a nice guy who's really good-looking ("beautiful" is the word most girls use to describe me, not that it has helped my ego any) but I just don't live a lifestyle where I meet a lot of people. I'm a hardcore geek so I don't have a lot of hobbies that involve meeting other people. When you think about it, if you don't meet new people, how _can_ you date?

So, I guess the real question is how do we meet new people? I know this question has been asked before and I can only assume that we haven't answered it 'cause it's a difficult problem. But if we, at least, _know_ that that is the problem then this will be helpful.

Oh yeah, now I know where I was going with all that. Maybe by wild coincidence, all these jerks that I speak of are really social people so all these girls that I never seem to date have no choice but to go out with these guys or stay celibate their entire lives never meeeting me...

Did this make any sense? Oh well, I'm going back to my FFT-A...
Hmm, there is a retro 80's night at a local dance bar tomorrow, perhaps I should go check it out?

Pretty much, it all boils down to if you have been in a relationship before. If you have you probably do think about it when you're lonely. I do.
The way I deal with it is to think to why I got together with her in the first place, why she liked me, and why we were together for that long. I take all my positive traits and blow it up, and up goes my confidence, and down goes my lonliness.

Confidence = Conversation = Meet interesting people. It's up to you if you want to be with them or not.

Me? I like being single for now. Get to spend a lot of ME time, something I lacked when I put someone else in front of myself. But relationships are fun, esp. the part when you screw 5 times a day.

i like being my own person, an individual.... but i'm extremely lonely.

I'm really not the kind of guy to approach girls and I don't like social construct of 'dating', so I'm really my own worst enemy. I can talk to them fine but i'm usually oblivious if they actually are interested. I think I convince myself that they aren't so I can be myself, but at the same time that prevents me from doing anything.

I miss holding someone in my arms and forgetting about everything else... I miss just having someone to hold.

Oh i didn't mean to mnake my friend sound like a complete prick. He made a drunken mistake and lied to his girlfriend (shit this might make it even worse) but they had been through some tough times over a few ytears and have recently decided to et back together. People are human and they make mistakes, as long as he learns ffrom it, depsite it sbhould be a given not to cheat. I don't support cheating! or think its cool. He never lied to me or cheated on me and we've been good friend for a while so i forgave him and support him. I was just a little bitter cause he "seemed" to take the relationship for granted, but i only found out a whole lot more about it when they where seperated. Also because he's my friend and did this, doens't mean i am gonna do it. I indirectly saw how everythiong was fucked up so i don't think or feel i could ever cheat. Anyway, this isn't about my friend.

Also i don't really have a confidence problem. Sometimes i can be a little bit too alpha male and getting with random girls isn't too much of a problem for me. Just as kurty[B] said one night stands and other meaningless crap don't appeal to me much anymore and i'd much rather a relationship.

As for meeting new people, it has a bit to do with utility and game theory. not that i know much about either, i may even get them wrong, but basically the more risk averse you are the better the rewards if the risk pays off. The whole you only live once and will try anything once choice. So i might try changing some things up and take a lot more risks (within reason, avoiding breaking the law, personnal injury) and hopefully something more signifigant will happen.....

I bitch and moan a lot about needing to get laid, but I don't want to just get laid. I want to have sex with someone who knows every inch of my body and can effectively satisfy me. I tried dating a few times and it was just a horrible experience for me. The last guy I dated I wanted to murder, but I don't think he even realized how much he irritated me.

I know I'm not single for lack of effort. I'm a fairly social person. Every now and then, I'll go to a goth club. I'm part of my college's Outdoor Club. I talk to and meet a lot of people on the internet. I'm a regular at a coffee shop (and I don't even drink coffee). None of my efforts seem to get me anywhere. I feel like I'm going in circles.

And the guys I meet that I'm actually interested in have completely opposite social lives to me. They never seem to enjoy going out or doing something interesting or fun or cheap. They never want to hike, or bicycle, or DDR, or snowboard, or go to a museum, or surf, or ANY T H I N G. Sometimes, they'll go to a social gathering, but it's usually only after I drag them out by their ears. Or, the only thing they're willing to do on a regular basis is go out to get fast food because they can't cook! W T F. My first (evil) ex couldn't even cook canned food. My last date couldn't even make Cup O Noodles. It's a wonder how I met these hermits in the first place.

They seem so cool in the beginning, then they get worse and worse. I can't help but wonder if it's because I actively look to identify their flaws, or if they really do just change over time.

When a guy does make a first move (pretty rare for me), it's usually some guy I really don't want to make a first move. And I have a tendency to pick out the guys that don't like me. Go me. Woo. :/

Sometimes I feel like the only person on the site who doesn't have a comment (either good or bad) about their SO and I think "Hey...at least you have someone". Wow...it's nice to know I'm not alone!

I can relate to this. I hate the sleeping alone end of it and to be quite blunt - I get cranky when I don't get some fun & lovin' on a regular basis! No wonder I'm turning bitter :( Overall it's not so bad I suppose - I have my kids to keep me company and to fill the quiet times but I really miss having someone to laugh with...I miss the companionship of a relationship. I miss the things like walking into a room and lighting up because that special person is there. *sigh* And heck...I talk to my dog so much that I think pretty soon he's going to start answering back! :p

wanna go hiking motdakasha??

sure....... if you visit California. ( distance :| )

My single life is aight. Nothin to brag about, but nothing to despair over either. I was living with my G/F for about 1.5 years, we were in Chicago and life was good. Then she found out her dad had cancer and she had to go home to Japan to see him. So she left and I was stuck in Chicago, not knowing anyone, not making all that much money, not in school, and with no reason to be there. So I got a job with this company and they said they had a job in Kentucky. I dont mean to offend anyone if yall are from here, but this place is the biggest shithole I have ever lived. On the bright side I have to say that I have never had so many women calling me and wanting to hook up than I have since Ive been here. I mean its really nothing to brag about beacuse all you have to have is "most' of your teeth, a job even if its at McDonalds, and not be a wife beating alcoholic to be a mack daddy pimp.
So the single life hasnt been that bad for me, this time, but this hasent always been the story. I have had WAY MORE than my sahre of dry spells and honestly I would be hard pressed to find something more miserable than the downward spiral that is caused by not getting booty for an extended period of time. Nothing scares the women away faster than the smell of a man that hasnt been laid in a whyle.

As Much as I hate being single...I love it at the same time, I can do what I want, When I want and not have a Girlfriend there to complain about what I choose to do.

I don't like being Single cause I love Affection..And all the good things that come from Having a Partner.

But...:D

I have been getting Laid Almost on a Regular Basis Lately...I am 25, I think sometimes I am not ready for a serious relationship anyways...So maybe it's better this way...I hate having a relationship with a Girl for 2 weeks, Then she decides she wants to Stop seeing Eachother...So I am just going to Enjoy myself for a little while longer.

I totally feel you on that IC3. I know I aint ready to get married, but being single is tough. Im 26 and I am enjoying playing the field.

I am doing pretty much the same thing...But I think Girls play to many head games...Eventually I just wanna settle down with a Nice Girl...Minus the Head Games...But that is Highly Doubtfull..Maybe it's just the girls that i know..But the Impression I get is that All women Like to play head games...I may be wrong though.:)

I dont think its just the girls you know beacuse most of the girls I know do the same shit. I have found that older women dont play as many games, but then again mabey I just cant figure them out.

Saying "All women like to play head games" is about as fair as my saying that "All men play head games as all they want to do is get laid."
I'm sure a few of you "nice" guys out there would take offence at that comment. You can't pidgeon-hole an entire group of people because of a few past experiences. That's just not fair!

i agree with Minx, pigeon-holing is not fair. There are plenty of nice, normal girls out there, although the vast majority seem to only want to be friends....

Okay, this is the POV from a non-single, so feel free to ignore it. Thought I'd let you know ahead of time.

It's time to change your outlook.

When you think that the world owes you a living, and that it will hand you all that you deserve, it does. There are simply a few things that you must remember:

• you must always retain, somewhere in your mind, the fact that you are Hot Shit. The course of evolution has existed simply to produce you.
• the person that you eventually choose to be with must be your equal. They must kick ass in so many ways that you get a little astounded by it.
• "Chance favors the prepared mind." -Louis Pasteur. GO AFTER THEM when the chance pops up. Don't back off. Wear them down. Keep pushing. They will eventually cave, or will go away exactly like they would have if you didn't push. You're not missing anything by being persistent.

I hope some of you take this to heart and that it helps.

good tips Thraeryn :)

and i'm gonna keep digging till i feel something, anything....

yes! and then i usually end up falling for them anyway bcos of their persistance and i'm a loser who doesn't think i have any other options because i can't meet people on my own. haha. :-x

Hey enjoy the single life! It's amazing how much you can get done when you're single be it career, education or hobbies. Having a SO is a trade-off, and even though I am personally very happy sometimes I long for those times when I was single and had alot more time to devout to my own development.

2 out of 3 ain't so bad, is it?

I did that twice. I'll be damned if I do it thrice. I've turned into something like a runaway bride, except it's not marriage. Any hint of incompatibility and I skeedaddle. Unless I'm infatuated with someone who doesn't like me back; that's when I'll stick around for a while and persist. It's not like it's hurting anyone (except maybe myself, but that is my own responsibility and yada yada).

My single life.

Pros: I can look at any girl who passes by. :)

Cons: After looking at girls, I come home to an empty apartment. :(

yea i think i've done it about twice as well. ahahaha! that's how i broke up with my last boyfriend. any sign of incompatibily and i'm outta there. sorry dude. ;)

Sometimes, I just want to die about it.

we must be related somehow! ;)

Which two of the three? ;) They're all important.

[list][*] I'm so Hot, my shoes are melting[*] There's this particular guy.... He plays soccer. So there's the kicking aspect ;)[*] I will be dialing my phone tonight. I will be persistent!

Thrae: I'm not Hot Shit. That's how I see it and that POV's not changin' it's tune.

Hmm. Let's see. Had a girlfriend for three years in college, we broke up, I went north, searched in vain for work, found an internship, found another internship, found myself having interned for a fucking year and was going stir crazy because I had to live at home and have no social life because the magazine was giving me enough for gas and some bills, almost got a job, almost got another job, then I finally actually got a job as an associate editor at some big website headquartered south of San Francisco but not quite in "South San Francisco," but I don't mind because downtown parking sucks ass, and I didn't get laid once from the time I broke up with my girlfriend back in February 2002, except for that one time in Amsterdam a year ago, and now here I am, about to apartment hunt and resocialize, and I'm not bitter about my enforced celibacy and instead chose a lifestyle of monastic meditation, except for the masturbation part.

The occasional Corona Extra helps too.

I agree with you on that Minx, but still can't help thinking that way sometimes when the last girl that left me ripped my heart out on her way out the door.

That sums up exactly how I feel. After a few disappointments I have given up on partners of mediocre character. I don't need that BS anymore in my life. I am busy perfecting myself and other skills during these important college years where I have the time and the energy to do damn near anything.

-&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

stay single, that ways no-one gets hurt!

i've anticipated break ups before. :-x but those are also the relationships in which i learn the most about myself and what i'd want in a relationship/partner. i can often 'predict' how a relationship is going to turn out before i even start dating them. so why date them if it doesn't look completely promising? i guess i live by the "experience things for myself" moreso than just thinking about things and how you'd want it to be. i learn best through experiencing.. even if it's something i know is going to happen all along. also, as cynical as i am, i can't help but think that breaking up is inevitable to any relationship i'm coming into :hmm:

Another Saturday night alone for this single girl. Yay! :rolleyes:

-&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

ok, so heres my story.

i´ve been single almost a year now.
do i like it? no, not really.
i lost a lot of confidence when i broke up with my most recent x.
i had a few rebounds, but they didn´t work, and i kept a torch lit for her for about six months.
then we did get back together briefly... which ended badly.
this second break up was good in a way since it let me find a way to really hate her... which makes moving on easier for me.
but, i did lose a lot of confidence after that, which is something that i´ve been working on slowly.
i´ve never been too quick to pick up on female signals of interest... so i´m regularly told that i´ve missed opportunities... so i guess thats one major problem that i face.
anyway, my biggest problem atm is that when it rains, it pours.
over the last year, i´ve been interested in about 3 girls... but in the last 2 weeks, about 5 have come into my life... making things difficult... since i want all, but because thats not nice, i won´t have any.

same. but at least i´ve trained myself ot enjoy saturday night tv... and then theres always the tfp.

i posted a few strategies on getting back out in the real world post-break up a little while ago (tongue only half in cheek).

here

I know what you mean. Saturday night alone sucks.

meff, jerk off in the shower. Porblem solved

Amen to that.

Single by choice and loving it. Free to do as I please without getting an earfull or the evil eye. I get to share myself with others without offending anyone. I am my own best friend so there is no loneliness to deal with. Single, it's not a curse anymore.

I'd be better looking without the acne, but it won't go away. As long as it is with me, my self-confidence is pretty low. That keeps me from approaching girls, therefore keeping me single. Being single sucks.

depending on the type of acne, there are medications for it. i didn't realize this until recently and i finally got a prescription. i'm much happier with my skin now.

Let me tell you, man, from some hard, *hard* won experience, it has nothing to do with you. Sometimes people just aren't compatible. Or sometimes people bring out bad qualities in you that make you doubt yourself. You can earn respect, admiration and interest simply by rolling with the punches.

I was just thinking about being single this morning. It's been essentially 3 years since I've had a boyfriend. That really, really sucks. I get little glimmers of hope here and there. But nothing ever pans out.

Ack, I don't even know where I'm going with this.

Oohh you know what's the worst thing ever? When you're talking to some random guy in a bar, and he asks if you're single. So you say yes. And the guy says "Why is a girl like you single?" Grrr I hate that! I swear, the next guy that asks me that will get this answer "Because I meet guys, like you for example, who ask me this question. Then they get my number and say that they will call. But they NEVER DO! So alas, I am single."

Just felt like ranting...

Is it sad that I'm already anticipating another New Years Eve spent alone?

The thought popped into my head last night. I know it's three months away, but I don't see me finding someone before then.

Sigh. Being single in the winter sucks. It's cold and you have no one to cuddle with. You have Christmas with the family where they ask numerous questions about why no girlfriend and what about grandkids. Then, you have to face New Years and Valentines Day alone. Makes me so sad I'm almost mad.

Man, I didn't even think of that. Shit, you're right. I hate you , Winter!

I actually spent New Years with somebody last year. Of course, we were with a group of other people. And he sort of had a girlfriend at the time. So at midnight, he kissed his friend Nate and I got nothin. Then an hour later he passed out. Bastard.

The stretch from Halloween to Valentines Day sucks ass if your single.

Hey, don't get me wrong, I go to New Years parties too. My friends are all great, but when midnight comes along all the couples kiss and I'm standing there for five or ten seconds, waiting to tell someone "Happy New Year."

Those seem to be the longest five to ten seconds of my life. :(

When your in a relationship you can choose to be alone easily. When your single you cant necessarily choose to be with someone. Being single is extremely lonely and depressing. The worst thing you can do is leave your mind unto itself. when your alone that is all you have. People is relationships always say how great single life is. If single life is so great why dont they quit their relationship in favour of the single lifestyle? because it is all bullshit. Single life sux.

Preach on my brother ;)

I'll tell you guys what's worse. Being single when you're not. Right now my girlfriend and I are trying to work stuff out between us, (in a nutshell she & my folks don't get along at all, and it's not an environment that she'd want if we were to take our relationship further and pursue a future together - which I understand but still sucks because I can't do anything about it) and in the meantime we've "temporarily separated."

Now this sucks because I get all the great benefits of being single, being home on a Saturday, nobody to spend time with, nobody to "spend time" with, etc., combined with all the things people complain about when they're attached, like not checking out other women, not seeing other people, etc.

I don't mind the not seeing other people or what-have-you, because if we were together for sure I wouldn't be doing that at all, but when I don't know if things are going to work out for us, I sometimes wonder if it should matter if I should be staying loyal or not and it makes me mad to be kept on a string like this.

This isn't meant to be a sob story, but you single people ought to at least be glad you've got control over your situation. (And you do, mostly.)

Single life isn't too bad, but if it goes on for too long, then its no good.

I think it's time somebody answered the unspoken question SleepyJack proposed in his initial entry..... why is his asshole friend being taken back by the girl? I think I'm justified in calling him the asshole friend only because from the girl's perspective he was one when she dumped him, right? Whatever his friendship status with sleepy, it's a completely different situation from dating.....

With that aside, here's my thoughts on sleepy's question: Men and women have a strong desire to feel a connection with someone - call it love, call it lust, call it blueberry pancakes for all I care - and this results in extreme feelings of loss whenever a relationship is sundered. Since most people out there tend to feel such losses quite deeply, going back to the 'ex really does look like an attractive option for a while after the break-up.

This is what results in so many reunions with jerks of both sexes....people don't want to be alone.

Sleepyjack, make a point of doing the "Vulture Move".....circle until the next time she breaks up with him, and if she's everything you've hinted at in your entry then go after her like there's no tomorrow! Your friend will be a bit put-out, but if they've actually broken up (and especially if it's due to him cheating on her again) then it was over when you made your move and ultimately it's your own happiness that you have to work toward.

When i first started this thread i was a little pissed off. Although i believe i started this thread on a wednesday night after my basketball game and here i am again on the wednesday night again ( a few weeks later) after the basketball game, but several hours later. Anyway, i saw them together tonight and also last weekend and they are good together, although i am suprised she did take him back (although there was a sense of inevitability) and I must admit that sometimes i feel a little bit of tension/awkwardness between the two. Also he sometimes is trys too hard, well, i think. But that'll probably dissolve over time, or not. It doens't really effect me though.
He isn't really an asshole, he would've learnt from the mistake and hopefully enver ever does it again to anyone.

I see where you're coming from about poeple wanting to be connected, as this is what this whole thread is about and that its easy to get back with an ex merely for the (false) sense of security and contentment with ones self.

I am not gonna do a vulture move though, i think there is an unconscious pact between friends to stay away from other ex's, well for a reasonable amount of time. I think it was really out of character for him to cheat anyway, so i don't see it happening again. My main gripe was that they were so happy together and he kinda fucked it up without much thought of the consequences.

So in summing up, it wasn't really my intention to ask why girls always go back to the jerk guys, but more so some of the pains that it is to be single. I appreciate (wry1) that you bought that point up, and i agree with you for the most part (don't agree on going after friends ex's).