Hmm. Let's see. Had a girlfriend for three years in college, we broke up, I went north, searched in vain for work, found an internship, found another internship, found myself having interned for a fucking year and was going stir crazy because I had to live at home and have no social life because the magazine was giving me enough for gas and some bills, almost got a job, almost got another job, then I finally actually got a job as an associate editor at some big website headquartered south of San Francisco but not quite in "South San Francisco," but I don't mind because downtown parking sucks ass, and I didn't get laid once from the time I broke up with my girlfriend back in February 2002, except for that one time in Amsterdam a year ago, and now here I am, about to apartment hunt and resocialize, and I'm not bitter about my enforced celibacy and instead chose a lifestyle of monastic meditation, except for the masturbation part.

The occasional Corona Extra helps too.

I agree with you on that Minx, but still can't help thinking that way sometimes when the last girl that left me ripped my heart out on her way out the door.

That sums up exactly how I feel. After a few disappointments I have given up on partners of mediocre character. I don't need that BS anymore in my life. I am busy perfecting myself and other skills during these important college years where I have the time and the energy to do damn near anything.

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stay single, that ways no-one gets hurt!

i've anticipated break ups before. :-x but those are also the relationships in which i learn the most about myself and what i'd want in a relationship/partner. i can often 'predict' how a relationship is going to turn out before i even start dating them. so why date them if it doesn't look completely promising? i guess i live by the "experience things for myself" moreso than just thinking about things and how you'd want it to be. i learn best through experiencing.. even if it's something i know is going to happen all along. also, as cynical as i am, i can't help but think that breaking up is inevitable to any relationship i'm coming into :hmm:

Another Saturday night alone for this single girl. Yay! :rolleyes:

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ok, so heres my story.

i´ve been single almost a year now.
do i like it? no, not really.
i lost a lot of confidence when i broke up with my most recent x.
i had a few rebounds, but they didn´t work, and i kept a torch lit for her for about six months.
then we did get back together briefly... which ended badly.
this second break up was good in a way since it let me find a way to really hate her... which makes moving on easier for me.
but, i did lose a lot of confidence after that, which is something that i´ve been working on slowly.
i´ve never been too quick to pick up on female signals of interest... so i´m regularly told that i´ve missed opportunities... so i guess thats one major problem that i face.
anyway, my biggest problem atm is that when it rains, it pours.
over the last year, i´ve been interested in about 3 girls... but in the last 2 weeks, about 5 have come into my life... making things difficult... since i want all, but because thats not nice, i won´t have any.

same. but at least i´ve trained myself ot enjoy saturday night tv... and then theres always the tfp.

i posted a few strategies on getting back out in the real world post-break up a little while ago (tongue only half in cheek).

here

I know what you mean. Saturday night alone sucks.

meff, jerk off in the shower. Porblem solved

Amen to that.

Single by choice and loving it. Free to do as I please without getting an earfull or the evil eye. I get to share myself with others without offending anyone. I am my own best friend so there is no loneliness to deal with. Single, it's not a curse anymore.

I'd be better looking without the acne, but it won't go away. As long as it is with me, my self-confidence is pretty low. That keeps me from approaching girls, therefore keeping me single. Being single sucks.

depending on the type of acne, there are medications for it. i didn't realize this until recently and i finally got a prescription. i'm much happier with my skin now.

Let me tell you, man, from some hard, *hard* won experience, it has nothing to do with you. Sometimes people just aren't compatible. Or sometimes people bring out bad qualities in you that make you doubt yourself. You can earn respect, admiration and interest simply by rolling with the punches.

I was just thinking about being single this morning. It's been essentially 3 years since I've had a boyfriend. That really, really sucks. I get little glimmers of hope here and there. But nothing ever pans out.

Ack, I don't even know where I'm going with this.

Oohh you know what's the worst thing ever? When you're talking to some random guy in a bar, and he asks if you're single. So you say yes. And the guy says "Why is a girl like you single?" Grrr I hate that! I swear, the next guy that asks me that will get this answer "Because I meet guys, like you for example, who ask me this question. Then they get my number and say that they will call. But they NEVER DO! So alas, I am single."

Just felt like ranting...

Is it sad that I'm already anticipating another New Years Eve spent alone?

The thought popped into my head last night. I know it's three months away, but I don't see me finding someone before then.

Sigh. Being single in the winter sucks. It's cold and you have no one to cuddle with. You have Christmas with the family where they ask numerous questions about why no girlfriend and what about grandkids. Then, you have to face New Years and Valentines Day alone. Makes me so sad I'm almost mad.

Man, I didn't even think of that. Shit, you're right. I hate you , Winter!

I actually spent New Years with somebody last year. Of course, we were with a group of other people. And he sort of had a girlfriend at the time. So at midnight, he kissed his friend Nate and I got nothin. Then an hour later he passed out. Bastard.

The stretch from Halloween to Valentines Day sucks ass if your single.

Hey, don't get me wrong, I go to New Years parties too. My friends are all great, but when midnight comes along all the couples kiss and I'm standing there for five or ten seconds, waiting to tell someone "Happy New Year."

Those seem to be the longest five to ten seconds of my life. :(

When your in a relationship you can choose to be alone easily. When your single you cant necessarily choose to be with someone. Being single is extremely lonely and depressing. The worst thing you can do is leave your mind unto itself. when your alone that is all you have. People is relationships always say how great single life is. If single life is so great why dont they quit their relationship in favour of the single lifestyle? because it is all bullshit. Single life sux.

Preach on my brother ;)

I'll tell you guys what's worse. Being single when you're not. Right now my girlfriend and I are trying to work stuff out between us, (in a nutshell she & my folks don't get along at all, and it's not an environment that she'd want if we were to take our relationship further and pursue a future together - which I understand but still sucks because I can't do anything about it) and in the meantime we've "temporarily separated."

Now this sucks because I get all the great benefits of being single, being home on a Saturday, nobody to spend time with, nobody to "spend time" with, etc., combined with all the things people complain about when they're attached, like not checking out other women, not seeing other people, etc.

I don't mind the not seeing other people or what-have-you, because if we were together for sure I wouldn't be doing that at all, but when I don't know if things are going to work out for us, I sometimes wonder if it should matter if I should be staying loyal or not and it makes me mad to be kept on a string like this.

This isn't meant to be a sob story, but you single people ought to at least be glad you've got control over your situation. (And you do, mostly.)

Single life isn't too bad, but if it goes on for too long, then its no good.

I think it's time somebody answered the unspoken question SleepyJack proposed in his initial entry..... why is his asshole friend being taken back by the girl? I think I'm justified in calling him the asshole friend only because from the girl's perspective he was one when she dumped him, right? Whatever his friendship status with sleepy, it's a completely different situation from dating.....

With that aside, here's my thoughts on sleepy's question: Men and women have a strong desire to feel a connection with someone - call it love, call it lust, call it blueberry pancakes for all I care - and this results in extreme feelings of loss whenever a relationship is sundered. Since most people out there tend to feel such losses quite deeply, going back to the 'ex really does look like an attractive option for a while after the break-up.

This is what results in so many reunions with jerks of both sexes....people don't want to be alone.

Sleepyjack, make a point of doing the "Vulture Move".....circle until the next time she breaks up with him, and if she's everything you've hinted at in your entry then go after her like there's no tomorrow! Your friend will be a bit put-out, but if they've actually broken up (and especially if it's due to him cheating on her again) then it was over when you made your move and ultimately it's your own happiness that you have to work toward.

When i first started this thread i was a little pissed off. Although i believe i started this thread on a wednesday night after my basketball game and here i am again on the wednesday night again ( a few weeks later) after the basketball game, but several hours later. Anyway, i saw them together tonight and also last weekend and they are good together, although i am suprised she did take him back (although there was a sense of inevitability) and I must admit that sometimes i feel a little bit of tension/awkwardness between the two. Also he sometimes is trys too hard, well, i think. But that'll probably dissolve over time, or not. It doens't really effect me though.
He isn't really an asshole, he would've learnt from the mistake and hopefully enver ever does it again to anyone.

I see where you're coming from about poeple wanting to be connected, as this is what this whole thread is about and that its easy to get back with an ex merely for the (false) sense of security and contentment with ones self.

I am not gonna do a vulture move though, i think there is an unconscious pact between friends to stay away from other ex's, well for a reasonable amount of time. I think it was really out of character for him to cheat anyway, so i don't see it happening again. My main gripe was that they were so happy together and he kinda fucked it up without much thought of the consequences.

So in summing up, it wasn't really my intention to ask why girls always go back to the jerk guys, but more so some of the pains that it is to be single. I appreciate (wry1) that you bought that point up, and i agree with you for the most part (don't agree on going after friends ex's).