Morning Wood - FYI
 

I just thought I'd put up a little funny fact.

Morning Wood is caused by a full bladder pressing against your prostate.

That is all. Thanks for your time.

Seems like a logical explanation.

my grandfather told me it was caused by fairies.

Re: Morning Wood - FYI
 

Do you have a source? I've heard about 20 theories.

Re: Morning Wood - FYI
 

I've always read that morning erections are simply the body going through it's natural changes in the night.

I don't know.

Could be both! :)

Would you ever doubt your crazy uncle Hal?

Bullshit, morning wood is caused by waking up and being male and always horny. If I wake up an hour before my alarm goes off and go for a piss then go back to bed I will still wake up with wood when the alarm goes off.

Need to urinate or not why not enjoy the hard on?

That could be why it is difficult to masturbate it away :)

I hardly ever get morning wood...but I sure have to take a piss every morning. I really don't feel like having to bend halfway over the toile to take a piss so that's good that I don't.

Hmm, I always thought morning wood was your body's way to avoid peeing yourself while sleeping.

Morning wood is brought on by REM stage of sleep. Every time you are in REM you get wood. Period.

The full bladder makes the wood more stiffy! and last longer.

NO WAY, MAN!! NO FAIRIES IN MY DREAMS!!!!!!!
-no homophobia, either. :)


nope, i think my morning rods are from sex dreams. wait, maybe having to piss gives me sex dreams??????

anyway, it's a bitch trying to pee with a woody, ain't it?

Yeah, but that would mean every time i have to take a whiz, i should have a hard on and I don't.

I mean there are times when i am just about ready to burst i need to go so bad and no hard on.

(mind you, those pees are almost orgasmic in their release.)

Morning wood...one of the many joys of growing older:)

I tell ya, my wife likes it when I wake up like that; and if she does, so do I! :D

Re: Morning Wood - FYI
 

You forgot the other fun fact that's related to this.

Emptying that bladder is a bitch-and-a-half when combined with morning wood!

it's hard getting up and needing to go.. argh.. stand around and shake the legs abit waiting for the wood to dissapate.. hehe..

haha, good. I'm not the only one who is annoyed with pissing in the morning cause of morning wood.

That's the theory I came up with, cause if I wake up to pee an hour before I get up I dont get a wood when I wake up.

morning glory, is really all about pee.
the secrets out.

Re: Re: Morning Wood - FYI
 

Not if you just hop in the shower. You can pee on the walls if you have to, it all goes down the same drains.:p

Hard8s beat me to the point: Use the shower. Urine is actually pretty damn sterile due to the high levels of acidity.

And the whole avoiding peeing in your sleep concept works in unison with the full bladder pressing on the prostate.

re: peeing in the shower

... And it conserves water too. :D

...no wonder I get an erection when I really have to pee....

I thought it was purely natural? I read somewhere the average man has 45 erections while sleeping.

I get this sometimes, and yeah I really wish I could 'use' the damn hardon instead of having to piss like mad and then losing it.. Kinda makes it less fun :(

i hate walking around with morning wood, like evn walking to the shower (about 15 metres) or to the kitchen for a drink. Normally i am in my boxer shorts so it either sticks all the way out, or i have to "half" tuck it in the elastic of my pants and the head sticks out a bit. Its pretty tough... normally i just do a quick runner :p

Re: Re: Re: Morning Wood - FYI
 

I'm usually not one to judge, but

EWWWWW.

it is my pleasure to chop down the morning wood by the masturbation.

this is near every day for me! i start the day with the smiling face!

I really don't care what causes it. I enjoy it, my wife enjoys it, who cares what causes it!

heheh hehe... Beavis and Butthead wanted to do a paper on it...

wood.. hehe heh heh

and ammonia content :)

but really, thanks all for ruining my breakfast erections for me... I always thought that was just his way of saying 'good morning, sleep well?' to me ;[

I'd definately belive Hal, who has a good reason to be looking into this. He probably can't even roll out of bed in the morning...

Oh man that made ma laugh so hard! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Redlemon's right! Hal doesn't get morning wood - he gets morning Sequoia!!! :D

Just messin, Hal - you know I bow to your superiority.

this was my good laugh for the day

Does Hal have a huge dick or something?

I may be a little new around here but how come everyone else knows???
i must of missed something...

....and has to turn the ceiling fan off before going to sleep.

Yes :eek:

Let's see it. :lol:

I thought it was just like a natural kick-stand, to keep you from falling off the bed in your sleep.

You can see it for yourself when you get members access or whatever its called :-)

I've got members access, although he (Hal) hasn't been turning up to the club meetings we've been having so i didn't know about it.

ahh bad joke..sorry.

I could swear that I was taught that you cannot physically urinate with an erection. There's a muscle that prevents the urinary tract from having anything to do with the seminal one.

It's certainly true for me. I can't urinate with an erection if I tried...

It depends on what the erection is caused by. If it's a sexual erection you're right, but if its just mornin' wood you can right your name on the wall. Try it!

I was under the impression that morning wood was caused by your body waking up and starting to pump blood at a faster rate. The extra blood flow brings about an erection.

The other reason I heard was that it's just a natural occurence during REM sleep, and it just lasts til you wake up.

Though personally, i more often then not wake up without an erection, but when i go to stretch, that's when it starts poppin up. Makes sense with the whole increase blood flow activity I stated above.

The full bladder against the prostate thing doesn't make sense. Wouldn't we have an erection every time we had to pee but couldn't? Not saying you're wrong, just trying to get clarity.

Yeah, i am not too srue about this. In a lecture today, i really needed to take a piss (for about 45 minutes) and i was hoping i wouldn't get a hard on cause of this phenonoma(sp?)
Although it didn't eventuate....

Still a little skeptical myself. I thought it more had to do with that guys think about sex about every 5 minutes so there is a large probability that they will have an erection at any given time. Even the morning :p

If you are still missing it, the post is Hal's Greatest Hits. I'm personally very comfortable with my length, but those pictures are enough to cause jeolousy in anyone.

The latest opinion I've seen in a medical journal (not that I read those really often) is that it's caused by hormone level fluctuations during sleep.

Re: Re: Re: Morning Wood - FYI
 

Uh-huh. YOU try explaining to Yoshi why I'm standing in the shower taking a leak right after she had the cleaners come over and work overtime on the bathroom.

Good luck.

I'll just stand over here and watch.

(Gonna need a beer. This should be good!) :)




(Oh crap. Beer. Gotta pee again.)

This crazy mofo cracks me up every time.

my girlfriend calls it a convenience :D

Me too... it's engrish.com all over again :D

Re: Morning Wood - FYI
 

Really i thought it had to do something with sex.

Of course, there are a lot of theories. Your body cycles through a high and low hormones phase, one each every 12 hours. It is also related to REM sleep as noted above.

There's a lot of theories about this... I've heard a lot of these before, but who knows who's the right one eh? All I know is I don't wake up with wood that much. Maybe good for me?

Erm, check out *Halx's Greatest Hits* in the Exhibition Forum.
He is jaw-droppingly endowed (pun intended). :eek:

I thought it was caused by not having enough orgasms before going to sleep. 8 is about right. Get to work, people!

As far as I was aware morning wood is like part of your self test maintence program.

One of the questions they ask you when checking to se whether impotence is physical or mental is do you get morning wood. If the answer is yes then we are heading towards mental.

Also you get more morning wood than you are aware of, its so common than you don't always realise its there, unless you are Halx and start knocking chairs over whilst walking around n stuff

I have Woody every morning :<.. sometimes its a pain. I piss like twice while i am sleeping. NO NOT IN MY BED!! I get up. But when its time to wake up. I have wood. But at least it makes it easy to shave in the morning.


Ciao.

lol thanks halx

my morning wood usually lasts for like an hour after i get up....sometimes more

it is weird taking a leak in the morning with wood, that's all i can say :D

Dont know much about it.. I like taking advantage of it!!!!! Wooooohoo

ha, i never knew or discovered that exhibition forum before. I don't know why???

maybe because I couldnt find it?

(yes, yes, I know why and Im not asking why, I just wish I could see it)

Yeah, morning wood is kinda annoying. Im always worried it'll hang out of the sheets and give the roommate an unnecessary good-morning salute.

Interesting ... I have to echo the sentiments of those that felt that it was just a simple "good morning, sleep well?" from my Johnson.

Well, I stretch first thing in the morning when I wake up... not much different on that scale. :)

yay! mornin wood

Say it again, Reverend!

Ha ha, I laughed out loud on that one.

-Lasereth

haha i never knew that

just...reaaaaaaally high on the wall

ha! Thank you for the fact.

My problem is that there is not enough skin left to have both
a woody and keep your eyes closed.....the damn thing starts
throbbing and my eyes start popping open....

Hey, would I lie to you...:D

I heard you get an erection so you dont pee yourself... the same way you cant pee when you have a hard-on in the middle of sex!

When my hubby and I are on different sleeping schedules, I notice he usually has quite a few erections throughout the night up until he wakes up. It doesn't seem to matter if he has peed right before he went to bed or not. Plus, he doesn't always have to pee when he wakes up (when he hasn't drank enough water the day before, tsk tsk) so maybe it's different for different guys. hmm

pee later.
never pass up the use of a good hard-on.

So...it's not because the dog licks my balls then? Oh...

:lol: that episode was funny as hell...

well, that clears up a few questions

Thats a fantastic fact! I always just assumed it was due to the fact that I routinely dream about hot chicks having sex with me ;-P

It's time for todays physics lesson.
The true definition of the term" Torque"

When you try to pee with morning wood and you push down on your woody and your heals raise off of the floor.

That is the true definition of torque

I pee before I go to bed normally... so morning wood is a blessing or a curse depending on how I feel when I wake up in the morning with it

hmmm I had read a while back that it was caused by rapid eye movement while you are sleeping *shrug* now I'm confused; lol.

Morning wood is great.....enjoy it....

what a fairie!!

To says the LEAST! Check out Hal's Greatest Hits, in Exibition!;)

Erections.

Directions pointing north.

A Boner in the morn
should be sported
northerly.

Up is the way you
sprout your
glorious, jacked up meat.

clutch it
or have some warm, soft flesh
relieve its hellish pressure.

/not no high queue.

i find i last a lot longer with a morning wood. its still good sex, but things take longer to realise whats going on before they all jump ship. both i and the gf love it. been woken up at 5am before because she's realised that he's up, therefor i shall also be up.

wow there go all the myths

if it were caused by full bladder...u would get it conistantly during the day was well...i don't see many guys walking into the bathroom with a boner...do u?

Oh, those silly fairies :D

Go find the song 'Morning Wood' by Rodney Carrington :)

Interesting. But I'd have to disagree.

I get morning wood either way. Full bladder or not :P

Nothing like pitching Tent in the morning

funny you mention that. i find myself having to walk around for a while when i get up so i don't urinate all over my face, but i never knew one had anything to do with the other.

Morning wood? You mean it goes down at other times during the day?

holy crap. today i got up and the freakin thing wouldn't go down for 25 minutes! i couldn't even leave my room to go take a shower cuz i'm in a dorm with a communal bathroom. that shit was scary. it usually disappers in a minute or two.

This is the funniest thread I have EVER read. Does it even belong here ot Tilted Humor???