Wife's Lack of Sex Drive and Desire for Bigger Boobs - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

bgates1654 · 09-07-2003, 07:06 PM

Hi there I have been a long time lurker and now wish to get into posting at TFP. To start off I want to ask a few questions. I want to know if there is anything that can increase my wife's sex drive and increase her boob size without surgury. Before you pass judgements my wife asked me to look into this.
We have been married for a little over a year (I have known her for over 5)and have sex roughly once every 3 days on average. This has been constant since the day we were married. On our honeymoon we had sex once. I actually have a lower sex drive than most men I beleive so normally a woman with a lower sex drive than normal would not be a problem but my wife's sex drive is non existant. Most of the times we do have sex she is not into it even though I try everything I can to get her into it. She ends up saying something like get the lube and have sex with me. She honestly tries to act in the mood when we are having sex but the difference is noticable (although she has fooled me a few times). I feel bad simply because she is not in the mood and feel guilty when I cannot please her. She feels bad because she feels she cant please me. I have noticeed that when she changes from the pill to the shot she loses all what little sex drive she had. So... any ideas?
Also she is getting pretty self concious about her boobs which in the winter half are about a B cup due to the fact taht she is a phys ed major and exercises a lot. In the summer half her boobs can get to be about a C cup. I do not say anything about her boobs being small and even tell her to not worry about it becuase they feel good either way. Howver she still doesnt like them to be small so is there anything that can be done about that? I heard about some pills that are suppoed to make her boobs bigger but I assume that they are a hoax and/or bad for hte body. Any ideas about this too?

present_future · 09-07-2003, 07:17 PM

If she really does want bigger breasts, I suggest an herbal pill called Fenugreek (sp?). I've heard wonderful things about it.
Just my suggestion.

Dano069 · 09-08-2003, 08:40 AM

Everything I've read about herbal pills and such has been about how they DON'T work. I have no experience using them though, so, it's your call. I'd continue to tell her how much you like them. Have her talk to her doctor about the pill she's using. Maybe there's an alternative that doesn't decrease her sex drive? Good luck.

Fallon · 09-08-2003, 08:50 AM

I'm betting that the shot that she went on was Depo-Proveria?
If she is, there's a thread here:
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...highlight=Depo
What has been suggested in other places is maybe she might need to get on another form of birth control if she is on Depo as it has been reported that it lowers sex drive. If she does end up switching her birth control, take note though that others have said it took quite awhile for her to get back to where she was before hand.
Maybe have her talk with people at Planned Parenthood or wherever she get's her shot, and see what they suggest, as I suspect they've heard any question that you could think of.
Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

lurkette · 09-08-2003, 08:57 AM

It sounds like part of the problem is definitely hormonal - you might want to look into non-hormonal bc options like a diaphragm or IUD.

But it sounds as though at least part of the problem is psychological - this has started to spiral to the point where you're both feeling bad about not being able to please the other person, so perhaps there's some anxiety involved, and who wants to have sex when you're anxious? Sounds like she might also have some body image issues - as an A-cup-cutie, I can sympathize: it took a lot of time for me to get comfortable with my size. For much less than you could spend on decent implants, she could go see a counselor or therapist or something and work on feeling good about herself instead of changing boob size. It's been my experience that, even if she did have bigger boobs, she'd probably still find something new to be self-conscious and unhappy about anyhow. Ain't no substitute with being happy with yourself exactly how you are.

Dano069 · 09-08-2003, 09:10 AM

Amen lurkette, Amen!

jbrooks544 · 09-08-2003, 10:02 AM

Get off the depo shots

Is she exercising too much? If a woman's body fat percentage gets too low it really messes with their hormones.

I heard that viagra works for women too - no joke - I would try it if things were as bad as you describe.

A doctor might find she needs a happy pill or hormones.

sex toys - eroscilator or hitachi magic wand, or womem swear buy the "rabbit" vibrator. You have to develop new kink. Do different things until she gets into one of them. It'll be fun just trying.

Buy some fun "knickers" or other stuff at wickedweasel.com (no affiliation or anything - I just know it worked for my almost 40 year old staleness)

Boobies - Either she gets over her silliness, or gets an operation (yuk) or buys rubbery pads or bras that make her look bigger. I did a quick google search
http://www.herroom.com/Fashion_Forms,Fas001,1.cfm

get nutty! try new stuff!

Amanita · 09-08-2003, 02:47 PM

Ok. Your wife should go for a blood test which will test her testosterone levels (no kidding). Having a low value can lead to low sex-drive among other things.

Changing to an oral b.c. pill with a more balanced hormonal mixture should help - your GP will be able to help in this domain.

This is a frequent and as frequently overlooked problem.

GoldenOuroboros · 09-08-2003, 04:53 PM

Try a natural viagra or something, Horny goat weed is supposed to work well..

wry1 · 09-08-2003, 10:08 PM

Okay....Here's a few tips:

First, don't ever tell her not to worry about it (when she asks you about her breast size). That's an affirmation that her tits are small, and just reinforces whatever hang-ups she has on the subject.

Second: go out and get her the patch (Ortho-Evera) in place of The Pill. I've found - from personal experience with the women I've dated - that the patch will result in larger breast size. Woo Hoo!!!!

Third......get some counseling for the both of you. While it sounds as if your wife needs some sort of therapy to resolve whatever hang-ups are causing her lack of sexual drive, going as a couple shows her that you're with her 100%.

But that's just my opinion......I could be right.

09-07-2003, 07:06 PM	#1 (permalink)
bgates1654 Upright	Wife's Lack of Sex Drive and Desire for Bigger Boobs Hi there I have been a long time lurker and now wish to get into posting at TFP. To start off I want to ask a few questions. I want to know if there is anything that can increase my wife's sex drive and increase her boob size without surgury. Before you pass judgements my wife asked me to look into this. We have been married for a little over a year (I have known her for over 5)and have sex roughly once every 3 days on average. This has been constant since the day we were married. On our honeymoon we had sex once. I actually have a lower sex drive than most men I beleive so normally a woman with a lower sex drive than normal would not be a problem but my wife's sex drive is non existant. Most of the times we do have sex she is not into it even though I try everything I can to get her into it. She ends up saying something like get the lube and have sex with me. She honestly tries to act in the mood when we are having sex but the difference is noticable (although she has fooled me a few times). I feel bad simply because she is not in the mood and feel guilty when I cannot please her. She feels bad because she feels she cant please me. I have noticeed that when she changes from the pill to the shot she loses all what little sex drive she had. So... any ideas? Also she is getting pretty self concious about her boobs which in the winter half are about a B cup due to the fact taht she is a phys ed major and exercises a lot. In the summer half her boobs can get to be about a C cup. I do not say anything about her boobs being small and even tell her to not worry about it becuase they feel good either way. Howver she still doesnt like them to be small so is there anything that can be done about that? I heard about some pills that are suppoed to make her boobs bigger but I assume that they are a hoax and/or bad for hte body. Any ideas about this too?

09-07-2003, 07:17 PM	#2 (permalink)
present_future Take my hand Location: Everywhere, but nowhere	If she really does want bigger breasts, I suggest an herbal pill called Fenugreek (sp?). I've heard wonderful things about it. Just my suggestion. __________________ The only thing I'll ever ask of you... you gotta promise not to stop when I say when.

09-08-2003, 08:40 AM	#3 (permalink)
Dano069 is Nucking Futs! Location: On the edge of sanity	Everything I've read about herbal pills and such has been about how they DON'T work. I have no experience using them though, so, it's your call. I'd continue to tell her how much you like them. Have her talk to her doctor about the pill she's using. Maybe there's an alternative that doesn't decrease her sex drive? Good luck. __________________ I may look attentive, but I'm taking peeks down your blouse faster than the human eye can follow.

09-08-2003, 08:57 AM	#5 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	It sounds like part of the problem is definitely hormonal - you might want to look into non-hormonal bc options like a diaphragm or IUD. But it sounds as though at least part of the problem is psychological - this has started to spiral to the point where you're both feeling bad about not being able to please the other person, so perhaps there's some anxiety involved, and who wants to have sex when you're anxious? Sounds like she might also have some body image issues - as an A-cup-cutie, I can sympathize: it took a lot of time for me to get comfortable with my size. For much less than you could spend on decent implants, she could go see a counselor or therapist or something and work on feeling good about herself instead of changing boob size. It's been my experience that, even if she did have bigger boobs, she'd probably still find something new to be self-conscious and unhappy about anyhow. Ain't no substitute with being happy with yourself exactly how you are. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

09-08-2003, 09:10 AM	#6 (permalink)
Dano069 is Nucking Futs! Location: On the edge of sanity	Amen lurkette, Amen! __________________ I may look attentive, but I'm taking peeks down your blouse faster than the human eye can follow.

09-08-2003, 08:50 AM	#4 (permalink)
Fallon Junkie Location: RI	I'm betting that the shot that she went on was Depo-Proveria? If she is, there's a thread here: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...highlight=Depo What has been suggested in other places is maybe she might need to get on another form of birth control if she is on Depo as it has been reported that it lowers sex drive. If she does end up switching her birth control, take note though that others have said it took quite awhile for her to get back to where she was before hand. Maybe have her talk with people at Planned Parenthood or wherever she get's her shot, and see what they suggest, as I suspect they've heard any question that you could think of. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

09-08-2003, 10:02 AM	#7 (permalink)
jbrooks544 Addict	Get off the depo shots Is she exercising too much? If a woman's body fat percentage gets too low it really messes with their hormones. I heard that viagra works for women too - no joke - I would try it if things were as bad as you describe. A doctor might find she needs a happy pill or hormones. sex toys - eroscilator or hitachi magic wand, or womem swear buy the "rabbit" vibrator. You have to develop new kink. Do different things until she gets into one of them. It'll be fun just trying. Buy some fun "knickers" or other stuff at wickedweasel.com (no affiliation or anything - I just know it worked for my almost 40 year old staleness) Boobies - Either she gets over her silliness, or gets an operation (yuk) or buys rubbery pads or bras that make her look bigger. I did a quick google search http://www.herroom.com/Fashion_Forms,Fas001,1.cfm get nutty! try new stuff!

09-08-2003, 02:47 PM	#8 (permalink)
Amanita Loser	Ok. Your wife should go for a blood test which will test her testosterone levels (no kidding). Having a low value can lead to low sex-drive among other things. Changing to an oral b.c. pill with a more balanced hormonal mixture should help - your GP will be able to help in this domain. This is a frequent and as frequently overlooked problem.

09-08-2003, 04:53 PM	#9 (permalink)
GoldenOuroboros The Cheshire Grin... Location: An Aussie Outback	Try a natural viagra or something, Horny goat weed is supposed to work well.. __________________ Can you see me grin grin grrriiiiinnnning?!

09-08-2003, 10:08 PM	#10 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	Okay....Here's a few tips: First, don't ever tell her not to worry about it (when she asks you about her breast size). That's an affirmation that her tits are small, and just reinforces whatever hang-ups she has on the subject. Second: go out and get her the patch (Ortho-Evera) in place of The Pill. I've found - from personal experience with the women I've dated - that the patch will result in larger breast size. Woo Hoo!!!! Third......get some counseling for the both of you. While it sounds as if your wife needs some sort of therapy to resolve whatever hang-ups are causing her lack of sexual drive, going as a couple shows her that you're with her 100%. But that's just my opinion......I could be right.