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Old 09-05-2003, 11:48 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Location: Waterloo, Ontario
Should I take the hint?

Seven weeks ago, I met a wonderful girl who seemed to really like me. The problem is that I haven't had another date from her since our first date seven weeks ago.

Now, I'm the kind of person that _really_ dislikes being "brushed off," and feel that people should simply tell you that they don't want to see you (I don't know, the closure just makes me feel better).

But I'm still confused. I've talk to her, periodically, on the phone, and she acts as if she wants to see me but often (very often, I guess) can't find the time. She's so nice and sweet that I can't believe she's the type of person to simply brush someone off and keep lying for so long. She does work two full-time jobs (both minimum wage), went camping for a week, had a grandmother die, and has now adopted a 16 year-old, with whom she works, who has decided to "move out on her own." So, she is a busy girl...

But still, seven weeks? She lives across the street from me so I'm not exactly hard to reach. Perhaps I should just walk over to her apartment and simply talk to her about it?

Am I just totally wrong when I think that this girl likes me?

What do you all think? Am I being unreasonable and people shouldn't really be expected to talk to you about what they think or how they feel? Or do I have the right to a little bit of respect? Am I jumping the gun and making too many assumptions? Is the situation really obvious and I'm just being obtuse?
I'm confused and I don't know what to make of all this. Thank you...
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Old 09-05-2003, 12:11 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Take the hint. If she is interested she will call you back.
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Old 09-05-2003, 12:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I think for now, you need to walk away from the situation. You have made yourself appear more then interested so the ball is in her court to pursue a relationship if she chooses. Let her call you now.
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Old 09-05-2003, 12:22 PM   #4 (permalink)
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That's a pretty rough situation. Maybe she is really busy. Since you said you live across from her, and if you are really still interested, stop by sometime with some flowers. Show her you're still interested in seeing her. Then if she's still busy, let her go.
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Old 09-05-2003, 12:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Play it cool. Don't get too upset about it. Maybe the reasons are legit and maybe they aren't. Continue to be friendly and interested.

Next time you talk to her, don't ask her out. Enjoy the conversation and when it winds up tell her you'd like to take her out again and ask her to give you a call when she's got some time free. If she doesn't call...you've got your answer.
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Old 09-05-2003, 01:13 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Hm. I'm with everyone who says you should kinda take a step back. Still talk to her, don't let her think you're giving her the cold shoulder or anything, but just don't press the dating aspect. She does know you're interested. See what happens.
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Old 09-05-2003, 01:41 PM   #7 (permalink)
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she probably needs a friend more than anything else at the moment...
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Old 09-05-2003, 03:21 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Should I take the hint?

Quote:
Originally posted by KnifeMissle
She's so nice and sweet that I can't believe she's the type of person to simply brush someone off and keep lying for so long
Sometimes the nice, sweet ones are the ones who can't bear to hurt someone by telling them the truth.

Which in this case sounds less like she doesn't really like you than that she has way too much on her plate, and maybe things just didn't click with you.

You could find out how she feels about you just by asking. Something like "I've noticed that you never seem to have the time to go out - I know you've been really busy and have a lot on your plate. Is that the reason, or do you just not want to go out with me romantically?" Once you know her reasons, it'd be up to you what to do next.
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Old 09-07-2003, 12:34 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Has she used the words, "you're like a brother to me" or "you're such a great friend, I don't want to lose that"? If those or anything similar, you're completely SOL. Sorry, next contestant please.
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Old 09-07-2003, 04:48 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Location: An Aussie Outback
She lives right across from you and you don't visit? O_o

Go there and give her some flowers, and if she's still busy walk away for abit.. like everyone said..
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Old 09-07-2003, 05:23 AM   #11 (permalink)
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In my honest girl opinion I would leave it up to her.

IF she wants to spend time with you she will MAKE time. Stop calling her and see what happens. Don't be so easy to reach all the time.
I know games are stupid, but sometimes they are necessary.
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Old 09-07-2003, 09:36 AM   #12 (permalink)
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It's her move. Let her make it.
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Old 09-07-2003, 09:42 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by *Nikki*
In my honest girl opinion I would leave it up to her.

IF she wants to spend time with you she will MAKE time. Stop calling her and see what happens. Don't be so easy to reach all the time.
I know games are stupid, but sometimes they are necessary.
While I don't agree that games are sometimes necessary, I will echo and say the ball is in her court.

You've expressed your interest and if she wants your attentions, she knows where to find you.
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