Birthday presents
 

I know this isn't really a sexuality question, but its about a relationship, so I figured this was the most fitting place to post this. I appoligize in advance if I am wrong.

My g/f's birthday is coming up on November 19th. I know it is still a ways off, but I'm trying to plan now so I can have the money set aside (I'm a broke college student at the moment). I'm pretty stumped on what to get her. She loves frogs and frog stuff, but the last two gifts I got her were frogs, so I'd rather not use that again. I don't like the idea of clothes (bound to get the size wrong...:o) and there aren't really any movies or CDs she'd like, AFAIK.

Then, I got an idea. Jewelry! What woman doesn't like jewery!? But then I remember how broke I am. A couple days later, my parents buy LoTR:TTT and I open it up. Inside, there is a brochure for various LoTR stuff, namely this: the Evenstar Pendant. Now, I'm a geek and a LoTRs fan, and so is she. In fact, she wears her "I <3 My Geek" t-shirt I bought her all the time! (see here) I thought it would be a beautiful gift, but wouldn't break the bank either. What do you think?

Also, we have been talking about our future together, and we both want to spend the rest of our lives together. However, getting back to being broke, I can't afford a multi-thousand dollar engagement ring, so I was thinking about a promise ring. Just a simple, silver band. What do you think?

Cliff notes:
1. G/f's birthday coming soon.
2. I'm a broke, geeky college student, but she loves me anyway.
3. Buy her a necklace and promise ring.
4.
5. Profit?

Sounds like potential profit, sure.

I have one issue with that <i>particular</i> necklace. While my ever-so-charming wife lurkette is a HUGE LOTR fan, she's actually much more a Tolkeinist than a Peter-Jacksonist. So anything that elevates the character Arwen from her fairly minor role in the novels is strictly out of bounds.

If your girlfriend is more into the books than the movies, then I wouldn't recommend that necklace. If she's into the movies, fire away. Sounds like an inexpensive (don't say cheap!), pretty, sweet gift.

Now, regarding this promise ring... Don't take this wrong, but I've always thought that was a pretty dumb thing. "Are you engaged?" "No, we're promised..." :rolleyes: It sounds like you're 6 years old. Oh, and a simple silver band usually means you're <i>married</i>, not "promised".

I say you either get engaged, or you don't. You don't need some big fancy expensive ring to do it, either. I bought lurkette a $29.95 cubic zirconia that she picked out of a catalog, because we were college students who couldn't do any better at the time. It was pretty and meaningful <i>without</i> costing an arm and a leg. And when I was able, I replaced it with something better.

All that said, I'd recommend NOT combining her birthday with a marriage proposal or even a "promise" proposal. Both are special things, best to keep them separate so they stand on their own.

She has read quite a few books, but AFAIK she actually hasn't read the LoTRs books yet. (reminds me I need to let her borrow the books from me some time) I don't think that would be an issue.

Thanks for the tips on the promise/enagement ring too.

Hmmm, the Lord of the Rings theme is nice, but if you take that $95.00 to a reasonable jewellery shop, you will be able to get her a very nice necklace, and one which maybe she will wear more often? Just a thought. You can even check eBay and a few webshops just to get an idea of what is available.

The great thing with necklaces is, as long as you keep it fairly simple, it is pretty difficult to get it really wrong.

I think she would wear it often if I got her the LoTR one. Right now, she wears a dolphin carved from bone I got her when I was in Hawaii.

Non-traditional presents are always good too. Cook her a nice, romantic candlelight dinner then top it off with a bubble-bath or something. A wonderful evening can be just as good a present as something tangible.

Have you paid close attention to what she says during your conversation. I'm sure most girls out their would drop their boys a few hints here and there.

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That's what I'd do.

Sadly, neither of us has our own place, so that would be hard to pull off. :(

I'm with Quietus, you just have to get creative with it. Take her to out to dinner, then to a hotel for the night, and pamper the hell out of her. Make sure she knows you've been thinking about it and working on it. Take her to her favorite place, and then have her favorite treat (what's her favorite ice cream?), and feed it to her in a bubble bath.

That's better than some ol' necklace anyway. Especially since you mention you've already done the necklace thing once. Let her keep wearing the dolphin, and instead give her a night to remember.

Sounds nice, but she has to be home by midnight every night...Her parents' rules. :o

I guess I shouldn't really complain, we are both 18 and living at home, but it is still annoying sometimes. I can't wait until we have our own place.

Personal gifts are the best and cheapest.
I honestly never spent more than $20 on a gift, except this one time I got her a bunch of roses

Picture collages, poems.. I enjoy messing around on Photoshop, and printing something out at a photo place costed me $2, the frame costed me $5.

If she's really a geek grrl she probably wants something, and its probably not jewelry. The romantic evening is also a good place to start, perhaps you have a friend who would be willing to volunteer his flat. (Generally most guys would accept the deal "I want to entertain my ladyfreind for an evening, if you let me use your house I will clean it") OK, actually perhaps I'm talking out of my ass with this one, but its worth a try.

Quietus and ratbastid speak the truth. I join them in the chorus urging creativity - and I know at least two of the three of us are married, so we've apparently done *something* right. :)

The necklace is nice, but if she really likes the dolphin one, why have something that might compete with it? Cooking her dinner is a great idea if you can, in fact, find a private place to do so. A picnic is a nice alternative to that. Check area craft shops and art stores, too. You can always find nice, unique gifts there.

My big fear is that a necklace ordered from a DVD flyer might not be the highest quality, no matter how nice it looks in the flyer. And, if so, by the time you found out, you'd be out of time and money and unable to find something really special.

A few low cost/no cost ideas come to mind:

1. Message in a bottle: Write a love poem on a piece of nice paper like parchment (or scab one if you aren't a writer, but trust me, if it is from the heart she will love it regardless if it sucks or not). Roll it up and tie it with a fancy ribbon. Put it inside a wine bottle. Put a rose in the bottle too (plastic is ok). Cork the bottle. Decorate it with paints, stickers, etc. If you live near the ocean or a pond, ask her to meet you for a picnic...when she arrives it is floating in the water nearby for her to find. If no water is around, try a pool or a bathtub. Just leave it for her to find.

2. A bath. Most women love baths. Get some cheap roses, put the petals in the bath. Use some salts, fizzes, bubbles, what ever. Light some candles, some incence. Play some mood music. Let her find you in the tub. Since you don't have your own place, a cheap hotel could work.

3. Give her an adventure. Pick a restaurant. Leave her a scavenger hunt with post-its. Maybe have articles of clothing for her to wear hidden all over the place. Her shoes in the car etc. She follows the post-its to a place to change, where the last post-it tells her where to meet you. Maybe there are small presents at some of the places she goes.

4. Give her a day at the spa...your spa. Do the things she would get at a spa (they are expensive) A mud facial, a massage, her finger and toe nails. Do as little or as much as you like.

Sorry if too long...

I realise that you both live at home so it might be a little more tricky, but what I did one time, early in our married live when money was all be non existent:
I gave her IOU's which she could use anytime. Things like, IOU one home cooked meal. IOU one back massage, etc.... I gave her about 10 cards - things that we liked to do that did not cose use any money.
She was extremely happy and turned on at the "thought" that went into the gift.

Hell, if the Evenstar Pendant costs 95$ and is something I'm guessing she won't wear all the time (it looks rather large and clunky), why not get something nice but simple instead?

You can buy bracelets to raise awareness of AIDS "Until There's A Cure." I think they look snazzy and it's something that can be worn everyday. There is room on the bracelet for personalizing, too. (Not to mention it's for a good cause.) The price range starts at 20$ (copper) and ends with 400$ (gold). I'm sure somewhere in the middle there is a bracelet that she'd like. http://www.until.org

If you can't have dinner at either place, why not take her out on a picnic? Don't use a plastic or paper shopping bag, be classy about it. Bring a few scented candles (haha maybe citronella depending on which meal of the day you choose) and a blanket. If you got jewelry for her, you could wrap it around a cup or attach it to a dessert item for the finale.

Thanks for the tips. The picnic idea sounds like a good one.

I love the IOU idea as well.... Sigh... Wish some nice guy would do something like that for me.

I'll go pout my single girl pout now...

< /high fives motdakasha> :D

Great minds think alike! (Warped ones too!)

1. as a geek girl myself, the Evenstar pendant is a nice, if pricey, idea.

2. however, experiences are great presents, and the best present of all is knowing that you thought sincerely about what she would like and put some thought and effort into planning something.

I'd go for the romantic picnic with her favorite foods, and maybe get someone (pro or talented friend) to take a nice picture of you together on the picnic that you could frame later to remember it by.

Oh, that's a GREAT suggestion, lurkette! The picture idea gives you something tangible to remember the day by. im2smrt4u, you really can't do much better than this!

The message in bottle idea sounded really good. On the other hand the IOU idea seems sort of lousy to me like a cop out.

oh and obviously the message in a bottle goes with something.

Furthermore the bracelet wouldn't compete with the necklace you've already given her. Having to make choices about jewelry will just make her take longer to get ready to go places. ;P

^5s. I didn't read your post until after I posted and I thought, wow GMTA. Haha.

Okay, so here's what I think mrquackers and I would agree on:
Nice picnic, take a picture to remember the moment.

True.

Now all I need to do is find where I can go for a picnic...sucks to live in a desert...

How about a desert garden? I don't know what desert you're in, but google tells me there are many desert gardens/conservatories. Heh.

I live in the Mojave Desert (Victorville, CA to be more specific), and there isn't much around here.

However, there is a very nice area by a creek about 30 minutes away. Plus, there is a big mall only 15 minutes away from there, so maybe we could go to a movie and then dinner after a nice picnic...:)

Sounds like you've got it all planned out! ;)