jujueye

Well, maybe if we were sober when we met you, we wouldn't know what to say....or geez, what if you dont remember us or try to brush us off...PLEASE NOOOOOOOO!!!!! I still remember my first (and second, and third) brush off. OUCH, mama...ouch... NOT good for the soul...

wry1

Averett,

I can only speak for myself, but when I meet a woman I would like to see sometime, I make sure to give her my number. I explain up-front that I really am not big on being a pushy guy, and that this way she's free to give me a call without all the hassle of wondering if I'll ever call or if I'll ever stop calling; something which several female friends of mine have complained to me about in their relationships with other guys.

For me, doing this also leaves the situation firmly in the woman's hands. If she doesn't call, fine. If she does, great! However, occasionally she's insistent. When that happens, I always make sure to call when I say I will. No exceptions (barring death, dismemberment or alien abduction) allowed.

Of course, since there are a plethora of assholes out there, I've taken the liberty (as have many before me) of making a list of possible reasons why this would happen.....

**He's joined a mime school and no longer talks.

**He's a Hare Krishna, and those airport phones are no place to call from.

**Telling you he'll call was easier than chewing off his arm the next morning to get out of a relationship.

**He got mugged. You're about to be called by some sweaty criminal-type.

**He was carried off by Dingoes in the night.

**He's waiting in a Michigan Secretary of State line for his driver's license (also known as the 7th circle of Hell).

**He's waiting for the hangover to go away.

**He's a man, what do you expect?

**His boyfriend won't let him call.

**His mother took away his phone priviliges.

**That annoying "Crocodile Hunter" finally got to him, and he took his own life to stop the pain of having to watch this moron!

**He forgot where his phone is.

**He's still in shock that his line, "I forgot my number; can I have yours?" actually worked.

**After years of Yoga, he's now able to perform self-fellatio and immediately gave up dating.

**He took a vote among his friends, but then Florida chimed in and blew it.....George W. Bush will be calling you shortly for his date.

**He's busy running for Governor of California.

**The French heat-wave killed him.

**He read one of those "25 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women" posters, agreed, and is now drunk off his ass.

I hope these were amusing. Since I'm not an asshole - at least my female friends have never accused me of being one to my face - I really wouldn't have a clue why he hasn't called.

MSD

Why it takes days to call back.

Friday: Meet, get your number.

Saturday: Can't call, don't want to sound like a stalker

Sunday: Can't call, don't want to sound desparate.

Monday: Monday night football

Tuesday: Lost the number sometime in the past three days, takes until 2 in the morning to find it

Wedneesday: Finally get around to calling.

Averett

Nice list

I'm thinking I might try again Sunday.... I wanted to thank him for being nice during the whole cops episode, and I didn't reallly do that. So I think I might call him up and do that.... Maybe. Of course, I've been known to change my mind many, many times!

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

anti fishstick

because they ask and i'm too nice to turn them down.

edit: bcos i totally quoted the wrong thing

__________________
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

bermuDa

hey anti fishstick... can i have your number?

I think most guys get numbers as something of a self esteem boost. I know guys who have contests to see how many numbers a night they can get... with no actual intention of calling almost all of them.

Personally, I'm not much of a phone person... and I'm hesitant to give my own number out, let alone ask someone else for theirs. I prefer chatting online or in person... there's just something I don't trust about the phone...

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I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.

Sleepyjack

@anti fishstick
Cool, so could i get your number then

EDIT:hmmm i must of had this page open too long or it didn't update, cause Bermuda and i am using the same material here.

anti fishstick

awww haha for a good time call 867-5309 :PpP

why can't guys that want my number live HERE dammit??

__________________
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

Sleepyjack

You could always move to australia.

Anyway, did you just make that number up, or get it from somewhere?
Also has any one ever given out a false number in order to completely avoid a bad situation?

anti fishstick

no. it's an old 80's song.

*sings eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-niiiiiiieyiiine*

i have not given out a false number but have thought about doing it. what would be really funny is giving out a number to a rape victim's hotline or something :-x bwahahahaha.

__________________
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

Averett

I know a girl wou used to give out "Jenny's" number... It was very rare that people knew what she was talking about!

Oh yeah, decided I won't call up again Sunday. Why bother? How many times should I leave a message? 2, 3, 4, 5? I think I'll save my cell phone minutes on people who wanna talk to me

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Thagrastay

give me your number. I'll call.
It won't lead to anything other than great Head (brain food) but it will be fun none the less.

__________________
"That's it! They've got the cuffs on him, he's IN the car!"

Captain Canada

Some just get scared of calling girls I guess. You could also ask the same question of girls.... why dont they call when they say they will? and the answer is probably gonna be the same. I know for a fact how depressing it is when a girl says they'll call, but never do.

Plan9Senior

It sounds to me like you were too aggressive. Let the guy do a little chasing. Us men are hunters and we like what is hard to get. Too easy= boooooring. Forget about him and work on your new approach so the next guy won't conveniently lose your number. Since you said yourself that this has happened to you before, it might be that it is YOU that might be doing something wrong... not us "evil men" .

Averett

I'm curious as to how I was "too aggressive". He came to talk to me, he stuck around during the whole mugging thing. He invited me to his apartment. He initated all contact, he asked for my number, and he gave me his. I didn't ask. He asked me to call him, but I wasn't comfortable with that. So I asked him to call me instead. When he didnt, I left one message on Thursday night.

Fuck me if thats too aggressive!!

I don't think men are evil. Not at all. I'm not a male basher, don't worry. I just don't get you sometimes!

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

bundy

Averett...

just chill baby.
if he´s interested, and it sounds like he is, then he´ll call(sooner or later).

carry on with your life, and if he calls too late (ie; you´ve lost interest), then thats his problem.
there is no one answer as to why guys don´t call a lot.
he may have other stuff (people) in his life, and may just want to string you along while he ties up loose ends... or he may just be busy... or nervous... or even afraid of telephones

girls have done this to me... a couple of times... and i usually try twice, then move on.... their loss.

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Ohayo!!!

Averett

It's kinda interesting to see the opinions I've found on here though.

Don't worry, I haven't lost any sleep over this

Thanks, bundy. Or should I call you Tina Fabulous? (Yeah, I'm a Bachelor addict)

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

queedo

I always call back.

I think some guys like the challenge of getting a phone # or they don't have the guts to call back after they didn't enjoy a date and just tell her they arent interested.

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If you think you can or you can't, you are right!

air45

i am opposite of your problems!

when the lady is sexy, i call on the phone for many times! i want to speak the sex on the phone, but also to discuss the job day, the dinner food, the rain or no rain today, the television shows of 'friends' and 'do not shoot me.'

but sometimes, the lady is putting on the machine so i get the beep. one lady say i am too much on phones. 'get the back off,' is her quotation.

so who is to say? let's be friends!

B21

I speak for myself when i say that if i dont call a girl when she ask its probably because i have no interest in her at all, also i feel it pointless to call someone if i have no interest in them. Ok what if i ddi call what am i gona say "u know what i really didnt have a good time last so i really dont think we'll be doing this again *click*". I know that sounded bad but im a guy im straight to the point. But to avoid not calling i usally give the girl my cell phone# before we go on a date so if she really wants to talk she'll call me.

analog

Absolutely. Also, someone else pointed out it's a little white lie to avoid a nasty put-down.

In fact, I can't even count the horribly HIGH number of times i've heard guys- good guys, DECENT guys I know- tell me about girls just flatly telling them off with nasty attitudes, NO tact, and just plain rude as all hell.

So to answer your question more directly- girls are just as bad at blowing people off, if not worse, because girls will just tear out a heart.

I bet for every boo-hoo, "i waited ALL DAY by the phone" story from a girl, there are AT LEAST 2 or 3 totally random devastations issued from girls to guys, based on the same two or three-date scenario with subsequent brush-off.

Anyone can back me on this. Sorry Averett, but sometimes shit just happens. I'm glad you're not upset over it though, because you shouldn't be. Just because you're not his type doesn't mean it's you, it means his tastes aren't pointed in your direction. For ALL girls who have this happen- if you wanted to date a guy and he said you weren't his type or blew you off, but his type is people who pee themselves and throw their feces, can you blame yourself? No, he's just looking for something else.

rogue49

Same reason ladies don't call, even after they say they will.
There are a significant number of selfish, self-centered, flakes in the world.
Doesn't matter what sex they are.

Unfortunately, they don't advertise this.
And so you end up having to deal with the idiots.

Personally, if we've already had some significant time, I always call. (especially if I said I would)
Only time I might not is if we just exchanged numbers in a semi-friendship gesture...and then life happens.

Look at it this way...he did you a favor.
At least you didn't make a significant investment into him.
He showed his true colors pretty fast.

All you can do is brush yourself off, and try again.
But do try, don't give up, don't give in.
And play it straight.
Sooner or later, you'll find someone who respects your worth.
And makes the effort to let you know it.

Mephisto2

Because we're wankers.

Besides, and talking from experience, girls prefer bastards. The nice guy always comes last. And I know this is true because I was a nice guy (aka sucker) for so long. Being a bastard was so much more fun and dramatically increased my success with the ladies... not that I really cared at that stage. That's the whole point!

Of course, all that changed when I met my match. I married her...


Mr Mephisto

Averett

This has been an interesting thread. Thanks guys (and girls)

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Sleepyjack

But still luck or contact with the guy?

Averett

Nope, nada. I had called last Thursday night and heard nothing back. If I hear anything at this point I'd be very suprised.


He's missing out, thats for sure

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Sleepyjack

OK, where'd be, or is the point of no return?

ie a time where if he calls you'll tell him to get stuffed or somthing in politer terms?

Averett

Well, it appears I might run into Mr. No Call again.

I have to go to court for the purse snatching, and the detective asked me "Have you heard from Matthew? He may have to come in as a witness."

No, no I haven't. And thanks for the reminder!!!

So this might be interesting come next Tuesday...

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Thraeryn

Hm. Let's see if he comes!

Averett

I doubt that he would. Unless he really, really has to..

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

teelos

I always call if I say I'm going to. More often the girl doesn't call ME. :\

macmanmike6100

See, I think the fourth point is the one that's the problem, and is obviously far less solid in reasoning than the previous three. So the polite and respectful thing to do would be don't forget.

That said, it's easier for us to forget than many women realize...forgetting is also far less personal than they realize, too

Averett

Today I had to go to court for the purse snatching. Matt was there as well. He asked how I was, said he had been busy. And that he did get my message, but that his cell phone has been broken.

Now, I believe that story. He still seems interested. He teaches, coaches 2 soccor teams, and plays on a team himself. When we left the courthouse, he asked me to give him a call. Gave me his number again.

I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Question... Am I setting myself up here? Am I getting played big time?

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

kingal

Its simple...its the same reason girls don't call guys back when they say they will. No integrity and lots of gaming.

Plan9Senior

Getting to know somebody should not be this difficult Averett. Lose the number, if things start out flakey like this they will only continue to stay flakey like this. Stop obsessing over somebody who isn't even calling you. Remember, if a guy is interested BELIEVE me, we will do the pursuing

blackdas

this girl asked for my number a few days ago (we were chilling with a big group of people in a dorm), and we exchanged numbers. I called her a few days ago and we went to lunch. Then I called her yesterday, left a message and didn't get a response yet. I know she's really busy (taking lots of credits), but I can't help but be disappointed. Well, I'll wait a few days to see what happens I guess...

Averett

Hope she calls blackdas

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.