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Awesome 08-25-2003 10:33 PM

OKy, I have a big problem with girls
 
Hey people I am new to this forum and I really have a big problem with talking to Girls sometimes. All of a sudden I get all nervous and I really start blushing like crazy and I just cant help it, so can somebody give me some tips? Sometimes whenever some Girls pass by I freeze on the spot :o

drawerfixer 08-25-2003 10:37 PM

Take a double shot of vodka before you go out. Works for me.

GoldenOuroboros 08-25-2003 10:37 PM

used to be like that too.. just takes time.. just gotta push yourself.. I find myself still stuttering sometimes when I talk to girls.. *shrugs*

Slims 08-25-2003 10:38 PM

Practice makes perfect. Try to not worry about impressing them or sleeping with them, and instead just treat them like regular guys. At least, for the most part. You can refine your social skills after you start to get over your anxiety towards women. Until then, just go out of your way to talk to all of them, sooner or later you will find that somewhere along the way talking to them got a whole lot easier.

Good luck.

angela146 08-25-2003 10:40 PM

Accept the fact that you are going to make a complete idiot of yourself when you are around girls. Get yourself to the point where you are OK with looking like a fool, because, after all, one time in ten, you might not look foolish. If they laugh, so what.

If you *don't* make a fool of yourself, hey, that's great. It's gravy.

Once you have accepted that, and are prepared to get thoroughly laughed at, guess what? You have nothing to be afraid of. You will be brave, courageous and strong because you are already expecting the worst case scenario and you just don't care.

That will make you successful in talking to women. We like it when men are confident and strong. We have no idea what that strength and confidence is based on and you don't have to tell us.

tinytim 08-25-2003 11:43 PM

Offer them money for sex... The girls that stand on my corner never turn this down. Its turned my lovelife completly around. But watch out for the girls with scarves, that is generaly covering up their adams apple, and they charge more:lol:

LaughinMon 08-26-2003 12:04 AM

welcome to the world of being a guy. i think most guys start out like this when it comes to girls. the previous posts got it right when they said practice makes perfect. it works on the theory that the more experience you have with girls the more comfortable youll be with them. makes sense, right? its that simple. i find that communication is the key. if you can talk to them and hold a conversation without that awkward silence, you got yourself over a hard step. from there its kinda like stepping stones. but once you become comfortable with girls the rest comes easy. and like angela said, dont worry about messing up, just shake it off and keep going. if they act totally snobby to you, just be glad you discovered their snobbiness(is that a word?) right off the bat. dont fret too much, even the best men out there dont know everything about women, sometimes theyre just impossible ;)

Spidey 08-26-2003 05:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Greg700
Practice makes perfect. Try to not worry about impressing them or sleeping with them, and instead just treat them like regular guys. At least, for the most part. You can refine your social skills after you start to get over your anxiety towards women. Until then, just go out of your way to talk to all of them, sooner or later you will find that somewhere along the way talking to them got a whole lot easier.

Good luck.


Took the words right out of my mouth. Thinking about sleeping with every individual you meet is the worst mistake anyone can make. Don't do it, even if you are a guy try and treat them like anyone else, you'll be surprised with the people you'll meet. But anxiety comes with all unexplored situations, so again practice just talking to regular people, people skills aren't just going to magically appear, like life it takes time and enough but you will eventually get there.

Give it your all dude and good luck :)

Kadath 08-26-2003 06:15 AM

I offer the thoughts of Mr. Gone: "Of course I've got a problem with women! Every man has a problem with women, because they taunt and tease, because they are attractive and they punish you for being attracted."
Of course, Mr. Gone is a psychopath...so maybe that isn't the best model.

baaa 08-26-2003 06:58 AM

Liquor.

skysooner 08-26-2003 08:21 AM

It took me years to become comfortable with it. I only really became comfortable after I got married, and I had no pressure on me anymore. All of the previous advice is good. Don't use lines. They only get in the way. Just be yourself, say hi, talk to them and see where it goes. BTW, the hardest place to approach women is at a bar. If you are gauging your success there, it is not representative of what you can do at other places.

legolas 08-26-2003 09:05 AM

Quote:

Take a double shot of vodka before you go out. Works for me.
After awhile you might need a little more.
Liquor honestly works. If you don't want to do that then just build up some selfconfidence. If they like you then great if they don't then who cares about them.

obricko 08-26-2003 09:45 AM

First off try asking them questions about them. You say less and they talk more, which they love to do anyway. Not to mention asking a person questions about them shows intrest and builds.

P.S. dont ask questions that will give you a one word answer i.e. are you single? she will most likely answer no. Try sticking with Family, work, hobbies and music.

Cedar 08-26-2003 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by obricko
First off try asking them questions about them. You say less and they talk more, which they love to do anyway. Not to mention asking a person questions about them shows intrest and builds.


That is absolutely perfect advice. One thing that is always guaranteed in any conversation is that people love to talk about themselves and their interests. And why not? It's always easiest to talk about what we know. You can always expand on something they say, asking them their thoughts and feelings on a personal experience/book/movie.

Don't start off by looking for a girlfriend. Look for a girl friend. You can't enter any relationship expecting that this is the person you will marry. If it works out that way, then great, but in the meantime, just try to relax and have fun. Remember, it doesn't affect world hunger.

Thraeryn 08-26-2003 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kadath
I offer the thoughts of Mr. Gone: "Of course I've got a problem with women! Every man has a problem with women, because they taunt and tease, because they are attractive and they punish you for being attracted."
Of course, Mr. Gone is a psychopath...so maybe that isn't the best model.

I love Mr. Gone. :)

Uh, there are things you can do to make yourself feel less open to rejection. One is to tell lots of jokes. If yer being goofy a lot of the time, then it's okay for them to laugh. You WANT them to laugh. Second is to find a way that you feel like you have some control over things. Say to yourself: "I am only going to go home with the hottest woman I talk to tonight." or even "I'm not going to go home with ANYONE tonight; they'll have to settle for my phone number." Something that makes you feel a bit superior.

Third: don't care! Be just a little snobby. They often mistake that for "confidence".

Johnny Rotten 08-26-2003 12:41 PM

In addition to all this advice, keep in mind that if you're a young fella, girls are also at that awkward stage and probably either won't notice your awkwardness or will worry that your awkwardness was *their* fault. It also helps if you don't approach a girl who's in a group of girls. That can make *any* guy nervous.

Plan9Senior 08-26-2003 01:53 PM

Practice, Practice, Practice. I couldn't agree more with what Angela146 said.

Nisses 08-26-2003 02:10 PM

bleh, if you are nervous about talking to them, there's one sure way to get over it.
Talk to them. Talk to any of them. Talk to the younger ones, the older ones, the plain, pretty & ugly. But talk to them, every opportunity you have. Even if you're not the slightest bit interested. Just lower that psychological threshold. They're fellow humans after all, it's all in your head :)


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