sagester

I’m going to be 19 in a month and something about being a 19 yo virgin just irks me.

I consider myself a fairly good looking guy (pics) , I dress well, I have goals, I have a good sense of humor, and I don’t get particularly nervous when talking to girls. However, I do have problems connecting with women, I just never seem to develop an interesting conversation with most girls.

I’m sure I can get women but, there must be something fundamental that I’m missing or doing wrong. And frankly, I’m just tired, of worrying about it. Part of me thinks it would be nice to just get the whole virginity issue out of the way. That said, I don’t even know if sex is that big a deal, I think I just wana see what all the fuss is about… ::shrug:::

Anyway, my friends and I are going to Canada in a couple of weeks, so it’s gonna be a week of booze and debauchery… So I figure, why not just pay for it? Perhaps it will get some of my insecurities out of the way? I mean by this point in their lives most people have had more experience than me, and it’s gotten to the point where i feel nervous because I wont know what to do if the moment comes…

meh.

mirevolver

As a 21 year old virgin, I can tell you that I understand where you are.

I used to think that I should wait until marriage, but then last March, the girl I was seeing ripped my heart out as she left. So it got me to do a lot of thinking and I came to many conclusions. One of these conclusions was that I should just forget about saving myself for marriage. And I figured that I should just go out an get laid.

But after talking to people, I was told that it's better if you're with someone you care about. So I backed down from just getting laid for the sake of getting some. Though I'm no longer saving myself for marriage, I am going to wait until I find someone that I care about. Even though finding a girl that considers me more than just a friend is very difficult, I still think it is better to wait for that at least.

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Aside from my great plans to become the future dictator of the moon, I have little interest in political discussions.

SiN

my bf was a 19-yr old virgin, and that he gave that up for me is a really special feeling.

wait, if you can.

__________________

World's King

Wait as long as you possibly can.


Sex makes everything so much more fucked up.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

dimbulb

I would say wait.....
at least for someone really special, if not for marriage.

I'm guessing, from talking to people and all, that paying for your first sexual experience is a bad thing. You might regret not saving it for someone special. I wouldn't exactly be proud that my first sexual experience was with a hooker.....

Slims

Nah, just wait. Sooner or later you will get laid, a lot. Everybody does.

__________________
"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

Katyblu

Don't pay for it because that will make you hate sex.... Wait until there is someone that you have some kind of connection with.... trust me it will be much better for you....

Zipperhead

I agree with the other replies above. I was a "late bloomer" and didn't get any action 'til I was 21yrs. The fact that the girl _wanted_ to do it with me instantly gave me a lot of self-confidence that I didn't previously have. I don't think that you'd get that same boost if you just pay for it. Especially the first time.

BTW, I disagree with the whole "saving oneself for marriage" thing, but that's another topic entirely...

antihero3zx

dude, you just need some help with your girl skills. Do no pay for sex. you are a good looking young man and i assure you that there are MANY young ladies who would be willing to have a night of fun with you with a minimal ammount of time spent on your part if you know how to do it.

on the other hand, i would also seriously advise against having casual sex of any kind (professional or amateur ) as your first time. I dont think you have to be in love, but it helps, but you should at least get along with the girl and spend some time learning the ropes. I totally know how you feel about most girls beeing abysmally boring, but if its any consolation, they bore me to tears and its so easy to play along once you get the hang of it.

There are girls of quality out there, but they are just hard to find. keep looking man. Casual sex is ok later, but i absolutely promise you that you will find sex greatly disapointing if you dont at least care for your partner. you also are going to need a few tries to get the technical details right.

docbungle

Do not pay some slut to sleep with you. And if you do, just remember, she slept with the last guy who paid for it also. And the guy before that...

That is waaaaay lamer than being a virgin. Every one has been a virgin, so we all know what we are talking about. Half of your friends have slept with skanks that they regret having slept with. Why? Because they were in a hurry to get laid.

Don't be in a hurry to get laid. It will happen. It always does.

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Bad Luck City

sagester

antihero3zx:
I realize that what I mainly lack at this point is skill, but I have no idea where to start. IF you could maybe give me some pointers on how one can manipulate a girl into liking him, I’d be quite grateful…

Mephisto2

Well, for starters, you shouldn't manipulate them into liking you at all!

Some tried and tested tips...

1) Be funny
Ask any girl. This is the most attractive & sexy trait any guy can have.

2) Be fun
Again, don't be nervous around girls. A fun guy is a.... fun guy (if you know what I mean)

3) Don't be pushy or nervous
Big no no...

4) Be confident
Just don't go overboard

5) Be yourself
The more natural you act, the more likely you'll be all of the above.

6) Dress well
Sounds shallow, but if you take care in your appearance, your attractiveness will increase.

Mr Mephisto

PS - this advice is coming from a guy who was a virgin until 21 (not unknown growing up in Catholic Ireland!), but once I found my confidence never looked back. Am happily married now but I certainly partied (ie, lost count!) for a few years.

fartre

this reminds me of a guy I work with who is 42 and...well, odd.

He told me a story about some sorry dude who wouldn't shut up about getting laid *gotta get laid, gotta get laid, gotta get laid* and my buddy tells him "Just go downtown and pay for it, I mean everyone here has done it!"

Then he looked at me and saw the look on my face and quickly changed the subject...



but then you would have to know "The Jambo" (yes he speaks of himself in the third person) to know that he was serious

sagester

Mr Mephisto: I honestly feal that i do everything you mentioned.

I have plenty of friends, and in general people like me. I get invited to parties, go out have fun, all the stuff that normal people my age do… Just for some reason women don’t dig me…

Mephisto2

sagester, it will happen mate.

Probably when you least expect it.

And, if you are doing everything like you say, you can be sure there are chicks out there that DO dig you. Maybe you just don't realize it...

Mr Mephisto

angela146

There is a half way point between having sex with someone you love versus having sex with a "professional".

How about asking a good friend? Sure, it might wierd out the friendship if you just come right out and say "Hey, Janet, would you mind taking my virginity?"

However, if you talk to her about your frustration, you might be surprized. She might figure out where you're going and make it easier for you.

I gave my virginity to my best friend... Later on, I married him.

ironchef82

I really hope you don't stoop this low to pay for your first time. If you really do this, I promise you're gonna regret it later on down the road when you meet that certain someone.

dtheriault

I completely agree... but i have some problems with some of the advice you gave him. The rest of the advice i completely agree with.

Some people in fact a lot of people aren't funny and many of them don't realize it. Some people hear laughter after what they say and don't realize that people are laughing at them. So maybe he's not funny. That's okay we can still work with it.


This can also be a problem. Sometimes being yourself isn't so great.

I think you definately need to relax a little. I also wouldn't rule out seeing a counselor/psych maybe even someone at your school to talk about this. They'll get a much better idea of who you are then we will and might be able to help you out.

When you talk to women remember.
1. I pick out something specific about her to complement forget the eyes try a piece of jewlry, the way she does her hair and how it complements her neck or something about her clothing. She'll notice that you pay attention to her and are not just trying to score.

2. Ask her questions and then ask follow up questions. don't just ramble about anything.

3. Make the first date something easy like lunch or dinner. Make it short and don't try to pack too much in. Then ask her for her number at the end of the night.

4. if she wants to go out on a second date you're half way there.


good luck and don't pay.

__________________
"Remember, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen." -Homer

Unless you are the freakin Highlander, what is the point in learning how to fight with a sword?

Mephisto2

Well, if the guy has friends (which he does), he's not likely to be a complete dork...

Of course not everyone is funny, but some guys act too serious or heavy. That's what I meant. Don't try putting on an act, but don't be afraid to joke around, have fun etc.


This has got to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

That's so very self-pitious... and not exactly conducive to increasing one's self confidence now, is it?

Be careful here, or you'll come across as a complete sleaze-bag...



ditto


The long and short of it is that there ARE no rules or techniques to pick-up women. Why do you think there are so many terrible "self-help" books out there on just this subject?

They all basically say the same thing (apart from the REALLY creepy ones).

Try to make her laugh
Act interested, but not obsessive.
DON'T act desperate.
A little "hard to get" is even highly recommended!
Act and dress nicely.
Have fun and don't think about it all the time.

You'll get there mate.

Trust me.


Mr Mephisto

Mephisto2

snip

nowthen

Man, don't pay for it whatever you do. Your first time is a very emotionally charged experience and if you do it with a prostitute, you better have an extremely strong mental composition or it will fuck you up big style.

Remember, to these girls YOU ARE JUST ANOTHER PAYING CUSTOMER. No matter what they tell you before, they will be in a hurry to get rid of you the very second you "finish"...

Although I am sure you feel left behind by the "pack", you are only 19. You have plenty of years in you

__________________

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them."

George Bernard Shaw

slant eyes

just wait man, it'll be worth it. don't pay for it.

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no man or woman is worth your tears - and the one who is, won't make you cry

question authority, don't ask why, just do it!

im just a girl

I wholeheartedly agree with the beforehand comments about waiting until it's someone you care about... and on top of it, do you really want to remember that the first time you had sex, it was with someone you don't even know, and are going to have to pay later? I have lots of very attractive guy friends who are still virgins at 19 and older, and theyre just waiting to find the right girl.

Achernar

Just be confident and go for what you want in life, dude.

Find a great girl and be yourself without shame.

kennyg

Alright. I have to get my word out before I shout and go crazy. I completley disagree with everyone here. Go for it man!@!!!!! It's not worth waiting over. Sex is really fun and when you have it your first time, your confidence will go up. Paid for or not.
I waited till I was 20 and I shouldn't have.
If you're not getting any action at all, perhaps paying for a lay will help you out in real situations. You'll have extra confidence knowing that you have already been there, and girls love confidence.
I'm sure people will tell me to shut up or whatever. But it's your life. Do what makes you happy

kennyg

And by the way....when I finally did have sex, I picked up a random older woman at the gym. Wouldn't trade it for anything. I remember the moment quite fondly. And no...I don't remember her name.

Dobby The House

I'm a 30 year old virgin and have had somewhere between 2-3 chances to " get some" but i decided that most woman don't deserve me :-)

so i'm waitng for one who i can connect with in all aspects.


charming a girl is an easy thing to do but it doesn't mean she wants YOU just the charming version of yourself.


unless u just want sex theres no point in forcing it.

dod123

I wouldn't rush it man, 19 isn't at ALL old, and it's not abnormal to have not found the right girl at the right moment... yet. You mentioned you're tired of 'worrying' about it. What's to worry about? Personally i've never been one to worry about the infamous "peer pressure" but that's just me. You don't mention whether or not you date at all. I get the impression you do not, otherwise this would be more a question of how to get your date into bed (to be so blunt) rather than having problems conncting to women. I would work on the connecting to women as a priority. Just losing your virginity isn't going to change that at all, not to mention, it's not like you're on a time limit. There was another post about dating and asking women out. There is a theme, and it was confidence. Ask girls out, lunch, drinks, whatever. If it goes somewhere, great. If not, oh well, move on. Hmm, and one more thing, if you have problems connecting to girls, you might mention this to one of your female friends. She might have some insight if there IS something intrinsically wrong with you... which i doubt.

__________________
"I may be newb, but at least i'm not stupid O.o"

Markaz

Wait! Jesus, the whole verginity is over rated too...It's nothing special, but you don't wana spaz over it like you are. Now what I find REALLY sad is the chicks who want to get 'reformed' through plastic surgory (at the cost of like 1kUS) that's just sad..Virginity isn't special in my mind...

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Tu madre está muy sabrosa

wacko

I would agree with everyone else that you should wait and meet that special someone. Let me get that said first.

But if you are going to Canada and I imagine it will be Toronto and you do decide to see an escort, I would recommend Bobbi. Her link is below

http://www.torontosplaypen.com/bobbi.htm

If you need more info please PM me.

Dobby The House

that link didn't work.

antihero3zx

Ok, how to get women interested in you..

first off.. ditch any nice guy notions you may have that nice guys dont want sex. Nice guys/good people LOVE sex. Nice guys enjoy giving women pleasure. Lately idiots have been trying to beat it into men that nice guys are asexual or have to wait for the women to give him a written invitation. This is not true. You are the man, you have sexual urges, you should act on them. You should think of sex with a woman as pleasurable for both of you. She is not 'doing you a favor'. you are a young attractive guy, you are bringing just as much to the table as a young attractive girl, of which there are plenty. Girls are not worthy of respect until its earned, and are almost never worthy of awe. They are just silly girls until they prove otherwise. Of course worthy of basic human respect at all times, but don't let yourself get too worked up about them before you know anything about them.

First off, do make your intentions known asap. DONT play 'nice guy'/'clown'/'friend' all night then try to hook up with her. it rarely works. If you see a girl you like, within 15 minutes you should be trying to get a vibe going. Give her your best confident smile, and hold eye contact a little longer then is comfortable. When she looks away, you look away, then make sure your concious of your body. look away, but make sure you are in an attractive confident pose, because she will look again if shes at all interested.

try to touch as early as possible. find any excuse to start non threatening, non sexual touching as early as possible. brush her hand when you pass her her drink then work up progressively to more and more intimate touches. youll want to start with the innocent stuff and if she responds positively (ie, doesnt pull back/move away) then progress. you should workup to touching lower back, arms, hands, shoulders, etc fairly quickly. try to make it natural, and unapologetic so you dont 'skeeve her out'. never act sneaky/sly etc.. Im just starting to play with personal space, so im not really that good with it yet. leaning in to whisper/talk over loud noise seems to work well. Not only does it give you a legitimate reason to be in her personal space, it also gives a sense intimacy and connection. Touching is absolute key. first and most important it established comfort and sensuality. keep it up throughout the night or you would be amazed how you can lose a good vibe. Secondly, if you are at all atuned to the woman, you will very quickly know if she is at all interested or not. Im not a fan of the hard sell. If shes not diggin what i have to offer at least somewhat, then either settle for pleasant conversation or move on. much less frustration/wasted time. Some people have great success being more pushy/assertive but thats not my style.

Play up any similarities. This is absolutely key. To make someone feel comfortable quickly you have to have a few things in common. Find the closest common interest/history you have and play it up. Its fine to be different, but you have to have some common ground.


be in the right place at the right time. This is not what it sounds like. Make SURE you are in the right places at the right time. if you hangout with the same people all the time its just not going to happen if it hasnt happened yet. Go to places where the women you want are, and where they are open to meeting new people, and do meet them. if you see a hot girl come in and you dont feel like talking to her just then, at least walk up to one of her friends, say nice shirt or something similar (a little more interesting wouldnt hurt) , and walk off. they will all say who was that cute guy and when you come back later you will be the cute guy from earlier instead of some stranger. Waiting rarely pays off. act fast or lose out.


ummm i can think of a bunch more stuff.. but is this the kind of detailed info you are looking for?

antihero3zx

here is the rubb though, when you finally meet that special someone, you might not deserve her. people develop, grow and mature through experience. Im not judging you are trying to degrade your decision, but you absolutely would be more sexually skilled, competant, and mentally developed if you had been having sex this past decade. I would never marry a virgin, and i would never marry a girl who sucked in bed. I don't think these two things are at all unreasonable. The person who is otherwise exactly what you are looking for might be the same way. Not experiencing all life has to offer, so long as everyone is a better person for it, is always a good thing in my opinion. The flipside is that failed relationships/bad sexual encounters etc, do leave scars sometimes, but to me its clearly worth it.

i understand and respect your posistion, i just wanted to offer an alternate viewpoint.

synic213

Wait.

I was 24 when I gave my virginity to my best friend. Now we are happily married and rejoice in the fact that we have never been with anyone but ourselves. Regardless of what people say, I think there is an emotional attachment that goes along with sex, and you will remember your first time.

Brdd99boy

...

Brdd99boy

...

antihero3zx

out of curiousity, do you want to watch a virgin get laid for the first time with a prostitute, or do you just want to watch two people have sex?

Brdd99boy

I just want to see if I can make some money selling the tape

antihero3zx

lol..not to make fun, but i hope your customers have short attention spans

sagester

I just wanna clear things up:

No I’m not as desperate as this post makes me seem

In all honesty I was only half serious about paying for it my first time. I’m just incredibly frustrated because I do not have the success with women that I believe a guy like me should have. I guess the other thing that really gets to me is that there are no new women in the groups I hang out with, I have not met someone new for a while and unfortunately I am not the sort of guy that comes up to random girls in a café.

Brdd99boy: lol, I don’t know if your post is serious or not but; while being in a porno has always been a dream of mine, unfortunately I live in ny and as such have to decline your offer.