*First time* advice
 

I was just wondering... my bf and i are both virgins (we're both 18) .. but we're both ready for sex. There are two questions i've been asking myself however. We arent in love with each other (although we deeply care about each other) and i want to know everyones opinion on whether or not this is okay. Should you wait until you're in love? Also, in a relatively different subject... what are some good ideas for having sex the first time, as in where to and what to do beforehand. (hes romantic, but id like to surprise him myself for a change) Any advice would be much appreciated. :D

Practical side: Experiment with the preliminaries first.

Is he going to be on top?

He is likely to be nervous as all hell. With that, he may have trouble getting it up or he may come the moment he gets inside you.

He probably doesn't have practice putting on a condom. It might be a good idea to put one on him and do something else a few times (hands, mouth, anal etc.)

Try getting him off more than once in the same evening if you haven't already. Reason: if you get him off once and then you go for intercourse on the second go-round (an hour or two later), he might last longer.

The nice thing about being a woman is not having to "perform". Therefore, the best thing you can do is to make it easier for him.

Finally, expect that it won't be all that great the first time.

what angel146 said...plus...wear a condom. We don't want to see you here again in two months saying 'I'm late'.

If you two feel you're ready, then go for it. Sounds like you both understand where the other one is at about how you feel about each other. If that's ok for you, then who are we to say whether it's ok or not?

Wear a condom. If he's...over excited, get him to wear two :)

It isn't a make it or break it (sorry bout the pun) deal. If it happens, it happens. Don't put stress on it or you'll tighten up with nerves and he'll be as limp as a noodle. Just do whatever makes you feel comfortable together.

Oh, and you really should be on top to control him. It'll let you control it and will hopefully relax you so you're not bracing for the thrust.

Wear a condom.

Communicate.

Enjoy :)

Ang is right - the first time is going to be more awkward than anything.

But you both should take your time and make it last.

Tease each other and try some oral foreplay - light and gentle is the way to go on both sides. Don't start out rough - start slow and see if either one of you likes it rougher, then go from there.

Edited.

RELAX!! seriously, it's all about being intimate, and having fun. as for the love question, I think that, for me, at least, sex is a way of confessing love. can you have sex without love? sure, but I dunno how it would compare.

so, first time. best advice i can give you is to explain MY first time. same age as you, we got the condoms, I had a dorm room to myself at the time, all the time in the world. Tried w/ me on top, and it was tight, and it was uncomfortable and i couldn't get him in me. Felt awful. wanted it SOOo bad, and just couldn't do it. so, we switche up, doggy style, and he told me "tell me if you want me to stop" or something of that sort, and i sucked it up, and bit my lip, 'cuz i KNEW that if I could get through this first time, the next time, and the time after and the one after that would be 100x more awesome. So, I bit my tongue, and he was as gentle as he could be, and it was... not spectacular. it was a month or so before I ... figured out?... how to orgasm, and that really was the icing on the cake. so... I guess hte moral is to be patient. get REALLY worked up before hand, that'll help a lot. wet == good. lube == more good. oral == best! ;) good luck :)

ah i was in the same situation as you. 20 and 21 year old virgins. we don't know what the hell we're doing. heh. but we got the condoms at least. it wasn't the greatest experience but i'm glad i did it. it was a bit awkward, but we're comfortable with eachother, so it didn't matter. as far as love goes, if you two deeply care about eachother like you say, i say go for it. it seems like you two are both ready.

Not a good suggestion :hmm:

This is all great advice (and very very helpful), thanks :) . Any suggestions on a location? I'm a simple gal, so the whole 'four star hotel with roses everywhere' is a bit to much.

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Yeah, whoever said to wear two condoms, you are saddddly mistaken...Wearing two condoms increases friction, thus weakening the latex making it more suseptible(sp?) to breaking. If him getting off is a concern get some of the condoms with a numbing agent in them.

*shrug* I've heard numerous people recommend the double condom thing. Several more knowledgable then any of us. But you're welcome to your opinions.

double condoms are BAD. the friction between the two leads to more tearing. (as scooby said, and i just noticed. ;) ). The dual layers will reduce sensitivity, but is a baby worth that? I wouldn't think so.

edit:

oooh, and location: eeh, dorm bed did me fine. ;) really, someplace comfy and familar might be good, for the relaxing part of it.

edit

my simple answer: if you both feel you are ready, than you are.

MOST important: HAVE FUN, BE SAFE!!!!!

First of all, quit waiting. You are totally missing out. Second, the first time is going to suck, but it gets oh so much better as you keep practicing! Don;t be afraid everyone talks about it and does it because it is the best pleasure there is. You're young, don't be afraid to try more than one person in your lifetime or else you will never have fully lived!

worrying about every little detail might work up this occasion in your head to the point where you'll only be majorly disappointed.

i went on a trip to disneyland once, but before I went I was so pumped up that I was expecting so much specatular stuff that I was disappointed when I finally got there.

Don't say that!

People should make up their own minds when to take the plunge.

Being subject to peer pressure is a bit inappropriate.

Mr Mephisto


PS - have fun!

I will say again your missing out. Quit waiting! If it is not your time that is fine, but millions of people can't be wrong. There is someone out there right now doing it and having a blast. Peer pressure or not, you asked, it feels great and if you can open yourself up enough to let go and learn how to enjoy it more and more then your experiences will just get better and better.

Location: Don't do it at a beach! Or, if you do, make sure you're on top and in control (maybe a bit sucky for first time sexual contact). Also, it will help you if you've previously been masturbating with something like a dildo beforehand, just so your body knows what the penetration is like.

Have fun :)

Just don't over plan and over - think the first time. How about keeping condoms in the bedside drawer, so you're ready, but not actually planning when it will happen? Wait until the time naturally seems right. You will enjoy it much more that way.

Lube?
 

Just a thought, some people can't live without it.

Sex is pretty simple, don't worry about it. For your first time just enjoy sharing the experience with someone else. No matter what happens it's always memorable, as are many other milestones you will eventually make in bed.

If your boy has been keeping up on his titty board practice then he will have no trouble keeping up...

Staying the night after in those tiny college dorm beds sucks IMO, but I have broad shoulders.

For the boy (soon to be man w00t!):
Some general geography for your guy, clit is on the outside on top, don't look for it just work the whole area. G-spot is right inside on the upper vaginal wall near the entrance (the upper wall closer to the front of your body) and it has a distinct texture that's different from the rest, I guess you could say it feels vaugely like leather. Two very useful spots for him to know (although as with most things and sex, your mileage may vary)