Harshaw

Right now, my girlfriend is about 3 states away. She has been away for a week now. This is the longest we have been apart in months. My question is, does absence make the heart grow fonder? I'm just wondering if the people who frequent this board have found this to be the case, or if something else is true.

tenchi069

The saying absence makes the heart grow fonder isn't saying "absence will make what you have better" it means that once you get back together you will appreciate what you have more than you did before. My girlfriend, who is now my fiance, and I met online. We live 800 miles apart. When we do get together we cherish every moment we get to spend with each other. But to answer you question if im understanding you, being apart sucks for both people. Don't stress over not being together, just try to enjoy what you can by yourself and when she gets back you will enjoy having her around that much more

KWSN

Yes indeed. My fiancee and I live 100 miles apart at the moment, her in Upstate NY, me on Long Island. I've found this to be incredibly true through my experience.

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MrFlux

This quote speaks the truth.

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lurkette

It depends. I've found absence with an end in sight makes the heart grow fonder. You think about the reunion, you miss the person, etc. But indefinite absence I think could go either way. You could really miss the person, or you could get tired of the distance and yearn for some human contact. I also think it depends, of course, on the relationship.

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Pennington

I agree with lurkette, absence can do one of two things. If your relationship is strong and you are dedicated to each other than being apart for awhile can strengthen the relationship like nothing else. In that time you realize how much you miss the person and what they really mean to you. If your relationship is on shakey ground or either of you is not totally commited to it, than temptations will quickly rise up all around you and it will only be a matter of time before you give in.

Seperation can be one of the truest tests of love.

tinfoil

My wife (the girlfriend) lives some 400km (~240miles) from each other, neither of us possesing a dependable car.

As we are now married, it obviously worked. It was very difficult however, for both of us. Be strong.

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aedenji

It is true but not always the case for both parties. and the sucks

raeanna74

I think absense can work both ways. It amplifies things that are already in your relationship. If you both are already dedicated and focused on each other than the absense will show you how dedicated and focused you are and make you appreciate what you have. If neither of you are very dedicated to each other or preoccupied with your own personal desires you may find that you have been distracted from the relationship in the time while you were apart. This is just my take on it. I have had a long distance relationship, local relationship, and one where the partner traveled frequently. Distance just shows you what you have.

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motdakasha

MrFlux's quote is more accurate because absence does not *always* make the heart grow fonder. Long distances really put your relationship to the test because it is so much harder to maintain. Relationships with the wrong chemistry usually fail (more common than not) and relationships that were "meant to be" almost always succeed.

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maximus

indefinate absence is the worst feeling in the world....

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Slims

Um, yes and no.

My last girlfriend and I broke up after summer vacation last year. I guess being apart made us both think, and come to the conclusion that we would really rather be chasing other people.

But, I feel like this summer is really helping me appreciate how awesome my current girlfriend is. It is giving me perspective and I find my feelings for her growing stronger.

Distance forces you to evaluate why you are in a relationship with someone (is it just sex?) and to think about the things you would normally take for granted. You can either realize that there is really nothing there, or you can gain an appreciation for how important being with your girlfriend is.

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sweeze

6th months japan <-> california sucked ass.

now much better :-D

yournamehere

The way I heard it (and experienced it) is:
Absence makes the heart grow fonder . . . for somebody closer.
Your results may vary.

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holtmate

I think that it can make some relationships stronger, but I also think the saying could be referring to the fact that while you're apart from someone you're intimate with, you sometimes forget the problems you have when you see them again. And then when you're together, the problem flares up again. Maybe that's just the bitter side of me there, but it has happened to me before.

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Marburg

Harshaw, I'm in the same boat you're in. My girl is a couple provinces over in Quebec - learning french.
I'm on day (counts) 25 out of 36. 25 days about 21 days longer then we've ever been apart. The only thing really holding me together is planning a date for when she gets back.
So my answer is no. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder. As the word "fonder" is far, far too much of an understatement!

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-Anders

I have had two long distance relationships, and i can say that you will hate the time apart and absolutely love the time you have together. It will be the best. Ever

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Subform

I have my own theory in this ...
I believe that distance can solve alot. But also make a whole lot of problems .. This theory only works for starting relationships ..

You see, when you are together with your SO everyday in the beginning you will not only ruin your private life very fast, you will also not learn to respect if she is away for some time ..
Sometimes distance can be the thing that makes the relationship strong.
My theory goes like this:
Distance make you miss a person .. And missing a person will make you think about this person alot .. Thinking about the person alot will make you cherish every moment with him/her ..
It works fine for me, as long as you don't overdo it ..

Missing someone can also make you think alot, and make you very jealous. As long as you learn to control it, it can be useful.
But as is said, with time you don't need this kind of distance, and you get more and more serious with your relation to this person.
With time you will more or less only want to be with this person, and you learn to live with the person by your side ..
Hoorray for Love, when it works! ..

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