My Attraction Issue - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

sensfanguy · 06-12-2011, 07:28 PM

I have been thinking about my sexuality recently, and this is going to be more of a mini-rant than a question, but something bugs me. Its not my sexuality itself, its trying to explain it. I'm a male, and I find myself only attracted to transsexuals. The problem with this is I don't know how to tell people about it (hence anonymity of the internet). Unlike being self-defined as "straight" or "gay", people assume it is only a fetish, or that I only think of these people as "glorified sex toys", but I would disagree with that. I always feel like I have treated people as any sensitive, kind, caring man would to his partner, it just seems to be the only body type I am attracted to, and while some might say that makes it a fetish, I would disagree, as many people find themselves only attracted to certain body types/races/genders and people don't necessarily consider it fetishistic because it is a "standard" hetero- or homo- sexual relationship. I'm just not sure if I'm thinking about it the wrong way, or if there is a way I could explain it better to people.

albania · 06-12-2011, 08:55 PM

The way I understand it is that a fetish is only a fetish if you can't function sexually without it. But maybe your real gripe is that labeling your sexual orientation a fetish somehow cheapens the experiences you're having. I'm not sure about that. I think as long you're not hurting anyone do what seems right to you and call or don't call it whatever you like.

Willravel · 06-12-2011, 09:05 PM

People tend to get hung up on labels because they lack the willingness or ability to admit that the world is shades of gray. Just as this is true in most if not all areas of humanity, it's true of sexuality.

Be attracted to who you're attracted to. Explore your feelings, learn to better understand them, and live life honestly. Don't worry about the fear or simplicity of others.

MSD · 06-18-2011, 06:16 PM

It's not a typical orientation, but if that's who you're attracted to, it is what it is. I can certainly see it being a fetish, but as long as you see a potential partner as a person first and their gender identity as a part of that, you're respecting who they are and staying true to how you feel. You may have a harder time than people of more typical orientations while finding a partner, but given the persecution and discrimination that trans people suffer in our society, when one of them finds you and you have a connection, it's going to be wonderful for both of you.

EventHorizon · 06-28-2011, 06:26 PM

what's wrong with saying "i'm physically and emotionally attracted to transsexuals" whenever asked the question?

06-12-2011, 07:28 PM	#1 (permalink)
sensfanguy Upright Location: Canada	My Attraction Issue I have been thinking about my sexuality recently, and this is going to be more of a mini-rant than a question, but something bugs me. Its not my sexuality itself, its trying to explain it. I'm a male, and I find myself only attracted to transsexuals. The problem with this is I don't know how to tell people about it (hence anonymity of the internet). Unlike being self-defined as "straight" or "gay", people assume it is only a fetish, or that I only think of these people as "glorified sex toys", but I would disagree with that. I always feel like I have treated people as any sensitive, kind, caring man would to his partner, it just seems to be the only body type I am attracted to, and while some might say that makes it a fetish, I would disagree, as many people find themselves only attracted to certain body types/races/genders and people don't necessarily consider it fetishistic because it is a "standard" hetero- or homo- sexual relationship. I'm just not sure if I'm thinking about it the wrong way, or if there is a way I could explain it better to people.

06-12-2011, 08:55 PM	#2 (permalink)
albania Psycho	The way I understand it is that a fetish is only a fetish if you can't function sexually without it. But maybe your real gripe is that labeling your sexual orientation a fetish somehow cheapens the experiences you're having. I'm not sure about that. I think as long you're not hurting anyone do what seems right to you and call or don't call it whatever you like.

06-12-2011, 09:05 PM	#3 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	People tend to get hung up on labels because they lack the willingness or ability to admit that the world is shades of gray. Just as this is true in most if not all areas of humanity, it's true of sexuality. Be attracted to who you're attracted to. Explore your feelings, learn to better understand them, and live life honestly. Don't worry about the fear or simplicity of others.

06-18-2011, 06:16 PM	#4 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	It's not a typical orientation, but if that's who you're attracted to, it is what it is. I can certainly see it being a fetish, but as long as you see a potential partner as a person first and their gender identity as a part of that, you're respecting who they are and staying true to how you feel. You may have a harder time than people of more typical orientations while finding a partner, but given the persecution and discrimination that trans people suffer in our society, when one of them finds you and you have a connection, it's going to be wonderful for both of you.