Strange Famous

I was thinking of this as there have been a few threads in here about homosexuality recently.

I would be interested in the view of anyone who is gay on this (anon or as yourself)

I dont consider myself a homophobic person and I wouldnt like to think I offend people, but I was thinking about some of the banter we have in the office and whether a gay person would find it offensive. To me, it is intended as good natured and just "fun" but I dont know.

The sort of thing that goes on is:

- If anyone ever says the word "curious" instantly someone else will pipe up "bi-curious?"

- any mention of pork will immediately turn into a conversation about people's favourite type of pork and suggestions that "pork sword" is someone's favourite

- me frequently telling one of the guys I work with "there isnt much you wouldnt do to me, is there?" and me challenging someone who reports to me to strip down to our underwear and cover ourselves in oil and have a Turkish wrestle if he ever questions any decision I make

- me buying someone who left a copy of "Brokeback mountain" as a leaving present (we got him a real present too)

- me and another guy whispering to each other "did you know gay sex makes you deaf?" in a very quiet voice to try and make the other say "what?"

_

I dont think anyone in my office is gay, and we wouldnt do this stuff in front of someone who was openly gay... but do you think a latent homosexual or someone who wasnt openly gay would just look at this as banter, or would find it offensive?

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

citadel

I'm not gay, not even a little bit, but...seriously? Joking around like that with your friends in your private time is one thing, but in the US, offending someone would be much less of a problem than sexual harrassment charges.

Ourcrazymodern?

I hope the OP is just another joke I don't understand. Homosexuals are no more homogeneous than the population at large. Some would take offense. Would you, if you considered yourself part of the targeted group?

In other words, I'm taking offense at your question & your description of your behaviors &, yes, your willingness to spout such inanity, & I'm asking you to examine your owned motivations.

There is very little I wouldn't do for you, in any case.

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Jinn

I wonder if the gay like my t-shirt..

Perhaps this would be better understood if you were to rephrase: "Is this something heterosexuals would find offensive"? Awfully hard to answer, no? And any answer you did give, patently useless for applying to an actual heterosexual?

We're far more than our sexual orientation, particularly when determining what and when we chose offense.

__________________
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

cj2112

Homosexual or not, there is no room for this type of behavior at the workplace.

Do you behave this way in front of your friends who do identify as homosexual?

mixedmedia

I'm not a 'homosexual' and I would find it offensive.
Even worse, I would find it stupid.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

citadel

It occurred to me that maybe the very reason that you don't know of any gays working for your company is because of behavior like this.

Craven Morehead

Yeah, I think its more stupid than anything else. But, I'm not gay.

mixedmedia

I hate to sound like a jerk, even though I realize I do.
But then again, why am I not entitled to my standards like everyone else? I think consistently making jokes at the expense of folks you think are not in the room denotes 'stupidity' that is as likely indicative of ignorance as it is pubescent cowardice - anxiety about vulnerability to gay male tendencies. I think it's healthy for people to get past that stage. I'm ok, you're ok, right?

---------- Post added at 10:45 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:40 PM ----------

The whole, I'm going to insinuate you're gay because it's the funniest insult I can hit you with...I mean, come on. I would miserable in that kind of work environment. And, again, I am not gay. And it's quite possible that there are people around you who are not gay and who feel like you're a bunch of asses. Quite possible.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Daniel_

The use of "gay" as an all purpose insult to mean "pathetic" or "unfashionable" seems to have taken hold amongst British youth.

I was very disappointed to hear my daughter use it to explain how her Converse All Stars were laced in the wrong configuration.

__________________

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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

Jinn

I remember when people used to joke about someone being gay or something being gay....


...then I graduated from high school...

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"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

Jozrael

I think it would depend on the environment. In the stereotypical workplace I'm afraid this wouldn't fly. However, I work at a gaming company where the employees do not take themselves seriously. It is a constant joke that we'll all need to go through 'sensitivity training' at some point.

We go through much, much, much worse stuff than this on a daily basis, in all sorts of company. Since we're growing so quickly this may change someday, but for now the hires have all been people of similar laidback mindset, so there haven't been any problems .

dlish

OMFG!! Jozrael lives!!!! where you been bud??

i guess in a gaming company and with a laid back approach, if the relationships are more like friendships, i can see that these sort of jokes wouldnt be as much of an issue.

however, in most workplaces and in most western countries, there are laws that forbid this sort of behaviour for the fear of discriminating against homosexuals. And rightly so.

i think it's tasteless, but i dont think that the jokes are offensive if they were off the cuff and werent an everyday joke. if it is in fact a daily running joke, i'd tire of this sort of humour in the same way terrorist humour wears off after a while if its always in your face.

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Strange Famous

Im a bit surprised by the feedback here.

I wouldnt deny its childish, but offensive?

I would be interested to understand if people's reaction is maybe based on the type of work people do as Jozrael says.

If you are say a social worker or in the academic part of a university maybe this isnt normal. If (like me) youre in a working class, mostly male, working environment I would consider this sort of stuff pretty tame.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Zeraph

I agree.

Plan9

Wow... all the new age yuppie types here are shocked by typical blue collar (green collar, no collar) heterosexual male banter.

Interesting.

Pfft, the US military was completely against homosexuals openly joining the ranks because their juvenile humor would be super awkward. I mean, only in the military can you be called "faggot" 15 times a day as a part of an all-male, all-heterosexual (on the surface) combat arms unit. The cool part about the military excluding women from combat arms roles (as of 28 March 2011) is that we can still make jokes about sand being in someone's vagina.

Hasn't anybody internalized the lessons learned from Sandra Bullock's observations about heterosexual male bonding in Demolition Man? Calling someone a derogatory term is a common male greeting for those of us who still have "straight nuts" (as politically incorrect as that is). "Hey, motherfucker! I haven't seen you forever, ya sonuvabitch!" has been used to welcome many long lost friends to the table. Someone can slam their girlfriend through a barracks wall at night and still be a "cock gargling sparkle spreader" at work the next day. It's a weird subculture, I'll admit.

Chest thumpers need to thump their chests.

...

Hey, you're the numbnuts that keeps pushing it... mentioning it all the time. Everybody else here finds it a really trite and tasteless, y'know.

Except for me. So keep doing it.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

I don't see why gay jokes would be any more or less offensive than fat jokes or jokes about chicks.

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Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
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Plan9

See? That's the spirit, you old cock-knocker.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

dlish

...and LordEden.


hey i can laugh at my own terrorist jokes without being offended. i guess a gay guy can say gay jokes without offence, and a black man can say black jokes and not be jumped all over.

sorry skinny white guy in skinny jeans, ive got nothing to discriminate against you. /shrug

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Plan9

Astute observation about jokes on your own group. It's why I can get away with hating white people.

...but World's King and LoganSnake haven't posted in this thread yet.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

mixedmedia

I worked directly with a bunch of 'working class guys' every day for seven years. They used to trash each other all the time, even me to a lesser extent, but this was between the years of 1994-2001 and I guess the 'gay' humor hadn't reached its zenith, yet, because I don't remember hearing much of it.

I am aware that it goes on and if it makes you happy, then more power to you. It seems kind of pointless to post this thread, list your examples, ask if it's offensive and then express shock when you hear that it is indeed offensive to some people.

And I am no more amused by jokes about women or fat people, either.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

The_Jazz

Jokes between friends don't have to measure up to any else's standards. For instance: I have a friend who will be reduced to tears of laughter with the question "bedsprings?" It's an inside joke with a long story.

And with some friends, we accuse each other of being gay. Including the actual gay one. Who's usually the leader when it comes to that kind of humor.

Taking offense depends on the audience. Honestly, if I were overhearing you guys, I'd probably think you're a bunch of simpletons. Unless you were clever about it, in which case, I'd be more forgiving.

A select few are always going to take offense at someone's sense of humor. I'm as guilty of it as anyone else.

---------- Post added at 03:48 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:47 PM ----------

There's a reason that they stopped making "no fat chicks" t-shirts. They aren't funny.

"Free mustache rides" t-shirts are funny, though. Just ask Fremen.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

Strange Famous

Im not saying that it isnt something that I might not take on board, just that Im surprised by some people's views.

People make fat jokes at my expense also, and I suppose their are times when Im in a bad mood that it does piss me off, but I know I have to take it cos I give people a lot of shit back.

A lot of the banter in the office isnt based on differences.

I also draw cartoons of me executing one of my co-workers through Magneto/Master of Magnetism style powers sometimes (ie - he attacks me - but he's wearing a suit of armour! - I levitate him and drop him into the crocodile enclosure at the zoo), frequent comments about people's mum/sister/etc...

Like I said, I understand its childish and so does everyone else who takes part, its just a way of relieving stress and pressure when youre working in a tough job.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

LordEden

I haven't made a terrorist joke in a long time... I think. Sometimes I make bad jokes without even realizing it. Then again 99% of my humor is tasteless jokes that no one but myself finds funny.

*****

I am the world's worst about horribly inappropriate jokes about your race, ethnicity, and sexual (or lack of) preference. I try to keep it under wraps, but if I've got a group of co-workers I can get away with releasing my dark and twisted humor, I will.

I make jokes about being gay, but I usually try to be clever about it. The "[gay, loser, ect]sayswhat" jokes were funny for about 5 minutes when Wayne's World came out. That was about it.

Thing it, I make the most gay jokes when I'm around my gay friends or co-workers. I loved giving the gay waiters hell at the country club, that was one of the best parts of that job. They laughed louder than anyone else.

The worst I go is "your mama" jokes, which was only funny in the 3rd grade. Granted most of those jokes are lame because the joke is lame... which is the whole range of humor behind it... That didn't make sense, but sometimes I'm funny. It gets a laugh out of the simpleton in the cubical next to me, so eh.

Point is... I try and be witty with my jokes. A lot of my jokes fail, but a lot of times I get a laugh out of the intended audience. I tailor my humor for the people around me. If you just make a lame joke or a "joke" that is really a statement of racist/hate/bigot, that's just fucking sad.

tldr: Try to be witty, nobody likes lame jokes. Even gay people.

*****

Also, I agree with Plan9. Like always. I should just make that my sig.

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mixedmedia

Really, if you're going to be 'inappropriate joke' guy. Then back it up with some balls. And be fucking funny while you're at it.

I'll say it again. Worse than offensive gay humor is banal gay humor. And most gay guys would agree with that, I think.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Ice|Burn

This right here. ^

I'll admit I've done and said things at work that could be taken as sexually harassing. However I know my audience and only do it around people who I know won't be offended and will actually join in.

To try and bait other coworkers is just stupid and playing with a fire you don't want to get burned by.

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IF PWNED > OWNED and PWNED=PWNAGE and OWN<PWN but PWN<PWNED and OWNAGE>OWN then what does OWNAGE+PWN equal?

ring

I was 25 when I was accepted into a work- tool & die sponsored program.
1986.
While eating lunch with my fellow machinists at the cafeteria table,
this type of banter between the young & older males was common:

"Damn, girl, you're too pretty to be a dyke what gives?

They'd then start gossiping about the few other handful of women machinists throughout the plant. words like: butt ugly- mustache Molly - Ball buster Betty

They insisted that all women machinists were 'dykes' I never heard them use the words
homosexual or gay. Queer & faggot, yes. Then the conversations would turn to other
frat boy horsehit.

The second week, I ate lunch by myself in my car.

lunxpress

If you were in my office, I wouldn't think you were offensive in your approach, but I would think you are immature, uncreative and very Junior High School. Relying on jokes that poke fun at other people only serve as confirmation that you are devoid of wit. Most witty people that I laugh with, frame their jokes with an intellectual spin and/or can pick up on a double entendre or other assorted blunders, in a flash. I think the funniest humor is the ability to laugh at oneself, not other people.

If the easiest and most creative route for you is to pick on the tired characteristics
and stereotypes about a culture, class, gender or other group, I’ve got news for you:
YOU AINT FUNNY.

The only conclusion I draw about people who laugh at gay jokes or hate gays is that
They are, in fact, gay themselves.

Joke’s on you! (homo)

M3nt0R

[QUOTE=Strange Famous;2885530]I was thinking of this as there have been a few threads in here about homosexuality recently.
QUOTE]

You know, a lot of people are being really prissy here it seems.

Honestly, motivation and intent should supercede anything. You are genuinely having fun. People tend to poke fun at things that are very different from the norm in ANY circumstance.

You see it in schools where certain subjects tend to be bashed by certain people. Even in things like science, where newtonian physicists joke about quantum physics and whatnot.

It's fine and normal, you're not trying to lynch anybody, you're not trying to make someone cry themselves to sleep, you're comfortable with yourselves to the point where you can let loose and have a bit of fun while still maintaining your work.

Nothing more than jokes and harmless pranks. If someone has a problem with it, they're probably just being stuck-up and overly-defensive.

Ourcrazymodern?

& you mention prissy, M3ntOR. I think that's funny. Motivation & intent are behind labels & when they're used as pejoratives... You've contradicted yourself. Don't y'all cry now, y'hear?

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

KirStang

I quote Red Dawn and then hipfire my shotgun. I think that's funny.

"Hey bubba--watch this!!! WOLVERINES! :blam blam blam:"

[/joke]

===================================

It depends on time/place. Like time/place restrictions. I make terrorist jokes all the time with my South Asian friend. He comes right back and tells me not to shoot up the place.

Would this type of behavior fly in my typical workplace? Hell no. Hanging out with friends? Sure.

__________________

Anormalguy

I agree.

Extremely juvenile humor (I'm using the word humor loosely).

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In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow

citadel

Yup.

Ourcrazymodern?

He could try puns or something. Maybe it was a riddle?

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Buzz

After reading this I find it hard to add anything else.

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And a Single Malt will get ya every time.

Strange Famous

Well, I think that is different a bit, and I wouldnt do something like that.

I wouldnt make inapproriate comments to a woman at all, but even with other guys - if you can tell someone doesnt like it (ie - they dont answer back, they dont laugh, etc) then people wouldnt pick on them - at least not in the environment I work.

Its just a set of private jokes I guess which some people opt in to.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

yodda.man

I am friends with quite a few homosexuals and we joke like that often. Even members of my family are gay and very open about it but we still joke and have a good time picking on each other. maybe it is our age or environment, but being a 24 year old male in the military and having openly gay friends and family members is not as easy as it may sound and sometime calling someone a pole-smoking salad tosser, even if they are homosexual, brings some much needed humor to the table.

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Professionals are predictable... The world is full of dangerous amatures

Plan9

Read what? On which side? You're killing me here. If you're posting just to post, at least say something funny, bro.

...

Uh-huh. Mmm, pretty sure the 18-35 male demographic is still just as amused by "fat chicks" as it was 10 years ago.

That and the reason "they" stopped make "no fat chicks" t-shirts is because 50% of Americans are fatasses.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

The_Jazz

Hey, that's good news, 9er! Given how fat Americans are, that means that kids today must be getting laid less often! That means less of a chance to annoy me in the future!

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

Plan9

Pfft.

Don't you know anything about Intelligent Design, college guy? Our Lord and Savior Ronald McJeebus designed the human body's fat storage placement system so well that reproduction is still possible even if you're 50+ pounds overweight. As long as you can lift your gut and she can get into the doggy position, you can almost certainly sling the reproductive yogurt shot into the love oven with your Cheetos-encrusted snubnose progeny cannon.

/threadjack

As related to the thread:

I'm all about bashing people who lack personal responsibility, self-discipline. Bashing people for their skin color or sexual orientation is so 1770s.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."