07-15-2003, 02:23 PM | #1 (permalink) |
Upright
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Please help me hook up
I'm posting because I need some advice. Basicly, I'm 18 and I'm really shy. I never talk to girls and I only have a few friends. I dont think I'm that ugly but, I'm really tall(6'1") and I'm kinda skinny. I know I could hook up with some girls If I had the chance to talk to any. But, since I really dont have friends I never hang out with any. I just finished high school and now all the kids I talked to in school basicly ignore me. I do know a few kids from another school. They like to hang out with me and some times we hang out with girls. These kids smoke alot of weed so when the girls are around I'm usaly high and I dont say anything to them. And some girls start to talk to me about my car. Everyone says I can get laid because of my car but, its no help to me. I have had it for a month and I have never really had a girl in it. This is the same car that I drive
How can I chage my life? I'm 18, I work as a mechanic, and I smoke weed alot. Thats my life but, I have never had a girl friend. I have gotten action but, those were in clubs where I did'nt have to talk. So, does any one have advice on how I can get a girl? |
07-15-2003, 02:39 PM | #2 (permalink) |
The Cheshire Grin...
Location: An Aussie Outback
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Don't smoke alot of weed.. then maybe you can talk to the girls Can you go clubbin yet? I don't know what the age is that you have to be over there, but yeah, usually you go out clubbin for abit, pick up, if she's nice keep her
And it's usually just a waiting game till the right person comes along. Some people find their 'other' early in life, others take almost a lifetime to find them. So don't stress, she's out there somewhere
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Can you see me grin grin grrriiiiinnnning?! |
07-15-2003, 02:40 PM | #3 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Fresno, CA
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First off, unless you're meeting incredibly shallow women, you're not going to get laid because of your car, however hot/fast it is.
Just talk to women. All women. Even if you're not interested in getting in their pants. Start a conversation and stick with it. Sometimes, the conversation will go nowhere ... actually, I can guarantee that most conversations with random women will go nowhere, but you won't be afraid to talk to them. |
07-15-2003, 03:05 PM | #4 (permalink) |
Banned
Location: OlyWa
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I like what Bryanzera said about the talk to alot of girls. Sure that one might not wanna be in your pants, but hell maybe she'll have a hot friend...
and yeah, smoking weed all the time isnt great, try to cut back. not saying stop, just not all the time |
07-15-2003, 03:17 PM | #5 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Pasadena, CA
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I'm with bryanzera on this one... ask women out. Repetedly. You'll get a LOT of "no" and you won't fear it as much. Being turned down isn't as scary as it gets made out to be and she's definitely not going to go out with you if you don't ask. At least the odds are going up, right?
I was really introverted when I was a teenager and it took some time to get over it and when I did, I realized how much time I'd wasted and how many women probably would have gone out with me if I'd just asked. I still get butterflies, but I've learned to enjoy feeling something... whatever it is... it's part of being alive. A close friend of mine still does this once in a while and he gets assignments when he gets like that... we get together with the guys once a week to smoke cigars and talk and he'll owe me 3 to 10 no's by the next time I see him... depending on how caved in I see he is. How that works is: he has to ask out as many women as he has to get those no's... even if there is a yes or two along the way, he has to keep going until the required amount of no's has been attained. It always gets him out of the funk and it usually gets him some dates. I know you said you don't have a lot of friends so meeting girls while just hanging out isn't getting it done, but you must go out of the house sometime, right? I'm sure you see girls you're attracted to when you're in a store, at a mall, whatever. Just walk right up to any girl you feel attracted to, tell her nicely what attracted you to her ("you have really pretty eyes") and ask her out. You will get turned down a lot but you quickly lose that fear of that happening. It's just a "no." Big whoop. And always, be yourself. Play games our put on pretenses that aren't really you and even if you get a girl to go out with you, she probably won't stick around for long. Unless that's your plan... (grin)
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"take me down, little *Susie*, take me down I know you think you're the Queen of The Underground" Last edited by Donkeypuncher; 07-15-2003 at 03:19 PM.. |
07-15-2003, 05:37 PM | #7 (permalink) |
Boy am I horny today
Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!
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Maybe it's the Mullet hair cut? But seriously, maybe you are trying too hard. You want something so bad that you'll do anything to get it, and the girls you meet don't like that. Stop looking so hard, and before you know it, you'll meet a girl, by chance and start dating.
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07-15-2003, 07:56 PM | #9 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Pittsburgh, Pa
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Firstly, weed isn't going to help you get laid. Knock it off. You'll be much happier fucking than smoking pot.
Secondly, girls don't give two shits what kind of car you drive. They only care about how much the thing cost you. I'm guessing that Trans Am runs somewhere in the low to mid 20's, but it's still a fuckin' mullet mobile. Due to the fact that you normally see those parked in front of trailers, they don't give off that $20,000 car shine. Finally, just pick a girl. Doesn't matter if she's cute or not. Just pick her, nail her and get over the hump. |
07-15-2003, 11:00 PM | #11 (permalink) |
Crazy
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Hehe, I like how he posted a picture of his car. I'd go with Donkey's advice though, it sounds like it might work.
Donkey: My main concern is if they already have a boyfriend/girlfriend, so should I just not care? Last edited by nulltype; 07-15-2003 at 11:02 PM.. |
07-16-2003, 12:11 AM | #12 (permalink) |
Fast'n'Bulbous
Location: Australia, Perth
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[QUOTE] Donkeypuncher said
A close friend of mine still does this once in a while and he gets assignments when he gets like that... we get together with the guys once a week to smoke cigars and talk and he'll owe me 3 to 10 no's by the next time I see him... depending on how caved in I see he is. How that works is: he has to ask out as many women as he has to get those no's... even if there is a yes or two along the way, he has to keep going until the required amount of no's has been attained. It always gets him out of the funk and it usually gets him some dates. [QUOTE] thats really cool. I migth start trying that with my friends As for the topic at hand, as other people has said or implied, i think its a little sad you posted a picture of your car...why did you do that? you can't fill the void in your life with a product... i think 18-21 or so is a stage in your life, in which you should realise that all these superficial quantitaive things aren't anywhere near as important as all the qualitative things anyways, i think its probably just a confindence thing atm, and you shouldn't try changing your conciousness or state of mind too much with drugs, cause you might start loosing sight of who you are. Its all moderation, and next time you're hanging out with girls and your friends, don't smoke pot. it also all starts with what nikki said... if you keep being kind, respectful and generally nice to people (although not just girls!), something should eventually happen. good luck. |
07-16-2003, 06:58 AM | #13 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: Republic of Panama
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I may get flamed for this, but I know numerous people who are heavy weed users, my younger brother among them, and it seems to me to basically suck their will to socialise or interact with anybody on any level.
My brother knocked the weed on the head a month ago, and now he is like a different person. He actually leaves the house for a start! Seriously, dont spend every night with your buddies getting high, try to get out and engage in some hobbies, clubs, anything to get you back in to the loop.
__________________
"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." George Bernard Shaw |
07-16-2003, 07:08 AM | #14 (permalink) |
Swollen Member
Location: Northern VA
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As far as the weed thing goes....It depends on you. I don't talk when high, (I'm too busy trying to convince myself that I'm not going insane). But the first 5 years of smoking weed daily, I wouldn't shut up. Most of the time it was nonsense, but I was talking to other people that were stoned too so they understood what I was saying.
But everyone here has the right idea, the more you ask the more will work out. I gaurantee that if you chat up 20 girls at least one of them will be interested. And this will sound very very shallow, but talk to fugly girls too. For practice. It will get you comfortable with females so when there is a decent or hottie, you won't be as nervous. I know this is sort of bad advice but......try having a couple of drinks if you are the shy guy around girls. Not enough to be loaded but just 1 or 2 (depending on tolerance) to loosen up. My first date with my current girlfriend had me shitting my pants, I was so nervous. I had a couple of swigs off of a bottle and it loosened me up some. But as I said, that is sort of bad advice that may or may not work. |
07-17-2003, 08:05 AM | #15 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: Illinois
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I'm glad I read this thread. I have the same issue as the original poster...only im 32 yrs old and divorced I just have never had to actively pursue women, It's always just sorta happened. Now that I'm single again, I'm noticing that I might have to actually put forth some effort! (Damn!) Sounds like these ppl are right, you gotta start talking to girls, and that's what im gonna do !
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07-17-2003, 07:47 PM | #16 (permalink) |
Upright
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I posted a pic of my ride because people tell me that I could get laid with my car. To me Its my only chance so I had to post it. Because I NEVER talk to girls. But, once in a while a girl will say a complement about my car. And thats the only times I talk to girls.
I guess I have to go toa club to look for some hoes. I sounded depressed because I feel lonely all the time. But, at a club I danced with at least ten girls. And they were all at least 18 and they were so hot. And these chicks were going crazy grinding their ass into my junk. And then I had my hand down her pants and she bent over in the middle of the dance floor. But, that was one of the rare times I went to a club. In real life I sound like a dick to girls cause I am so quiet. I look so stupid cause I dont say shit. The only time I ever drove a car with a girl, I had two blondes and they were like 16. They were so hot and I was drivng a brand new Mustang cobra drop top. And I was trying to talk to these girls and they seamed so nervous. And I thought that I was scaring these little young girls and I thought I was a pervert in a way. But, then they started to giggle and shit. And then we talked about people we know from school and shit, and they seamed to have fun. But, later on I meet up with them and I was thinking about them all day. ANd I was smoking trees all night and then when I stood next to them I felt so out of place. ANd then I ended up not talking to them at all. So, thats how I blow my chance all the time. Last edited by VinnyWS6; 07-17-2003 at 09:07 PM.. |
07-23-2003, 02:20 AM | #18 (permalink) |
Insane
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I'm not a good-looking guy but I've managed to get 2 semi-serious relationships going in the past year or so. What you gotta do is approach a girl while she's in line, waiting for an elevator, waiting for the bus, etc, and start a conversation. An excellent conversation starter is "How's it going?" or "How you doing?". They've pretty much gotta answer, and very frequently will respond with "Good, you?" or something like that, and you can take it from there. Avoid risky topics, and go for common interests/problems, such as a college course, final exams, etc. Most women love to talk about themselves, so let them...don't talk about yourself that much. If you can make the conversation last for a few minutes, then use my patented female-phone-number-getting line: "I don't really have the time to talk right now, but I'd really like to get to know you a little better...can I get your number?" If they give you it, be like "Great, thanks. Talk to you later." By leaving early, you don't exhaust all conversation topics, and minimize your chances of saying something stupid or freezing up. If they say they're dating someone or some shit, be like "Who says I was asking you out?" and smile.
Also cut down on the weed, do it only every other weekend or something. You'll feel much better. |
07-23-2003, 02:25 AM | #19 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Nowhere
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Vinny, I don't think they usually like it when you refer to them as 'hoes'. Also, don't worry about your car. I drive a BMW. I get compliments, but I don't get chicks cause of it. In addition, it's cliche, but confidence is the key here. Just don't worry about it. For some reason girls dig guys that couldn't give a shit about them. I'm not saying ignore them, but just realize/act like you don't need them. Talk to them while realizing that it doesn't matter if you look stupid. So what if you strike out with a few? There are three billion women on this planet. If one doesn't want you, then you don't want her.
Oh, and as everyone said...cut down on the weed. It's probably making you too laid back. Also, "The Ladder Theory" might help you to understand a little better about how men and women relate. |
07-23-2003, 06:54 AM | #21 (permalink) |
Upright
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Sounds like your self-esteem is pretty low. This is normal for your age, but there are some ways to increase your self-esteem and make you more desirable.
You need to put on some pounds, man. If you look like a zipper when you stand sideways and stick out your tongue, start filling your belly, pump iron (as much as you're gonna hate doing it) and you'll notice a change almost immediately. You'll start walking more erect because you're building up the muscles in your back. You'll feel more confident and that will enable you to get the courage to talk to women. |
07-23-2003, 08:38 AM | #22 (permalink) |
Tilted Cat Head
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
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the girls won't get into the car if you don't ask them...
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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. |
07-23-2003, 08:41 AM | #23 (permalink) |
Swollen Member
Location: Northern VA
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Why is everyone saying stop the weed? Weed acts differently for everyone. For some it may make you uber quiet and for others it may make you uber talkative.
It basically comes down to our friend becoming more social with the females. Weeded or not. Just talk talk talk talk. |
07-23-2003, 08:59 AM | #26 (permalink) | |
Loser
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07-23-2003, 12:59 PM | #29 (permalink) |
Banned
Location: UCSD, 510.49 miles from my love
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give me your car, and Ill get you a girl
as long as your a half decent person Im sure there wont be a problem :P seriously though, it depends on what your looking for. Wanna get laid? - go to the club, a party, or something like that Looking for a relationship? - donkey has the good stuff up there. Looking for a serious relationship? - The more you look the less you'll find, its like finding enlightenment, it comes to you, and then you just grab it. In other words, wait for the door to open, and then make sure you dont keep waiting or it will close. |
07-23-2003, 02:11 PM | #30 (permalink) |
Upright
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Thanks for the advice. Man, I'm gunna start going to clubs now to get girls but, as far as having a relationship with a girl, I'm screwed. I dont have any friends at all now. All of my close friends went to florida and I dont have anyone to hang out with at all. Except for the major pot heads I know. But, I think If I hang out with them I will meet a girl. They go to parties and they know some girls. But, I HAVE to quit smoking! It makes me feel so weird and nervous. ANd If you think I dont have confidence your right. I have never even had the balls to say "I want to hold your hand." let alone say I want to kiss you or something like that. So, this saturday Is my clubbing night and I will post what action I got there. So, wish me luck!
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07-23-2003, 06:42 PM | #31 (permalink) |
Crazy
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i have the same problem i cant talk to women all too well. Breaking to ice for me requires an atom bomb or something.
Sure i can talk to girls and all, but i suck at meeting new people, especially girls. I kinda got my confidence destroyed after 2 relationships turning shit and the girls beeing real bitches. I guess this made me uneasy around people, and girls for that matter. Nowa days im kinda hostile to women though as ive had a few oppurtunities this year to get laid, ive usually blown them by stating how shallow and stupid the girls are and ofcourse that doesnt really go too well as i live in a really small town (word of mouth and everyone knows you). I really have to hook up with someone this summer, as i think i might turn bitter without it. Me and my friends are kinda an exclusive club if you may, its hard to get in and we dont like to be around other people. if we ever go to public parties like christmas ball or something atleast one of us carries somekind of weapon. So many fucked up people around here its allmost impossible not to get into trouble, which is one of the reasons we keep to ourselfs. |
07-23-2003, 07:04 PM | #32 (permalink) |
King Knave
Location: Lancaster
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yyYeah.
I generally have a hard time empathizing with a young cat that has some serious wheels and, presumably, not excactly strapped for cash, and his laments of "not being able to talk to girls." However You asked. And I'm thinking that all that bread(money)may actually be a handicap for you. cuz anyone...ANYONE you would wrangle down to an intimate conversational level you will suspect of having ulterior motives. And you prob'ly want someone who is interested in YOU. right? ______ If you jus' wanna get laid- use the car and all the BlInGbLiNg. if you wanna meet someone. Smile more. Get out there. Fear Not
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AzAbOv ZoBeLoE |
07-24-2003, 06:24 AM | #33 (permalink) |
Upright
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I'm gonna say this and if you take my advice you will be a step ahead of all your nerd pothead friends. First of all don't approach women with a large group of people (friends), it shows you have low self esteem. Women love a guy that will take a chance and approach them alone whether theyre with their friends or not. Second of all your car will maybe increase your chances of getting laid by a tenth, the rest is all you. Never smoke pot around women unless you want your future girlfriend to be a hippie or white trash. Next, watch how you dress, theres no point in having a tight car if your dressed in ripped up jeans and a turtle neck. Try doing all your clothes shopping with a good girl-friend. As far as the shy barrier you have going, that's something you can only conquer on your own, it takes time I guess. Last but not least get a hair cut, but don't do any of that wanna-be bullshit and die the ends blond unless you had it that way before. Going to the gyms a plus, and maybe that will raise your self-esteem.
Anyways, good luck and happy hunting. P.S. we all know that part about you going to the clubs and getting "action" was a lie. Be honest, who cares...it' the internet. |
07-24-2003, 06:29 AM | #34 (permalink) |
Swollen Member
Location: Northern VA
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I think he was saying he was going to the clubs THIS saturday to get some action.
Just relax and don't try to hard. Have a couple of drinks so you get into that mindset BOAM was talking about. And take it from there. Oh and I met my girlfriend through a bunch of potheads....so you never know. edit: The beginning of my post doesn't make sense since you deleted the other guys. Poop. Last edited by Jim Kata; 07-24-2003 at 06:38 AM.. |
07-24-2003, 07:13 PM | #35 (permalink) | |
Upright
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07-24-2003, 08:01 PM | #38 (permalink) |
High Honorary Junkie
Location: Tri-state.
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I think that my best advice, to find a one-night-screw and for a long-time love, is to engage with as many woman as possible. No, I don't mean hurtling your body into a "prospect" but if you see a woman, approach her calmy and confidently, <b>regardless of how you feel</b>, and say, "Hi."
Some guys think it's pretty bad to get turned down by a woman. Whatever! They just don't see the profit in that...those women are <b>automagically</b> filtering themselves. The ones who won't even give you the time of day are the ones you don't want to associate with anyway! The ones who do carry on a decent conversation are <b>automagically</b> giving you <i>experience</i> in conversation with the fairer sex, <i>knowledge</i> of yourself by learning what traits in women you like and don't like, and, last but not least, a <i>chance to get laid</i>. So until next time, just remember to say, "Hi." |
07-24-2003, 11:35 PM | #39 (permalink) |
Crazy
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Maybe you should try treating a girl with some respect instead of like a piece of meat. You don't sound like you are looking for a relationship. You sound like you're looking for a piece of ass.
Clean up your act.
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People Are Stupid. People can be made to believe any lie, either because they want it to be true or because they fear that it is. |
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