Need opinions...especially from the ladies! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

keymaker · 03-11-2011, 07:43 AM

Ok-I am a sales rep and last Aug became involved in an email relationship (very XXX) with a woman I see twice per week at an account I service. On 3 occasions she made it clear she wanted to be physical with me, once it happened. I knew she had been living with a woman for 7 years (not just as a roomate...) but she said the relationship was rocky. She also made it clear that she did not label herself as a lesbian. I know I should have backed off and considered it but I was already emotionally vested in it when I found out about the girlfriend and you know how that goes. She was married for 8 years to a somewhat abusive fellow and divorced hime b4 she got involved with her girlfriend. I am 50 she is 40.

Well-she told me a while back that she needed to work on the relationship with the woman and make it better. She is basically a kept woman there as her financial matters were screwed in her divorce. I cooperated fully and we kept up a tame email for awhile but now that has stopped. I still see her twice per week and we are friendly but calm.

About 2 weeks ago I go in to see her and I notice right away that her hair is just like I told her I liked it...and she is extra friendly. Then out of the blue she gives me a gift...a pendant she bought me to hang on my motorcycle. I thought this was a little unusual as I know most folks don't buy unique gifts for someone of the opposite sex for no reason. She has acted very low key since then so I am a little confused...

I would like to ask...especially the ladies...what do you think? Is there something there? Is this gift a signal...or not? She gave me lots of signals back before that she was into me, but not too much after we cooled it. I have acted very hands off since as I am not a needy or clingy person and I think she knows how I feel. Plus I do NOT want to cause any pain for anyone. Since this is a somewhat unique situation I hope we can have lots of discussion here. Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

Cimarron29414 · 03-11-2011, 07:49 AM

Dude, it's pretty simple. You are "Plan B." She will string you along just in case the current bit doesn't work out. All you have to decide is whether you are willing to be a consolation prize.

jewels · 03-11-2011, 09:28 AM

It could mean something, it could mean nothing. Sometimes friends give friends gifts when they see something they think that friend would like.

You're having a Friends-With-Benefits relationship, based on what you've said. Cimarron could very well be right, but the only way to find out what's going on in any relationship is to ASK. Friends, lovers, all relationships with a potential future all require communication between both parties.

Zeraph · 03-11-2011, 02:03 PM

I don't know, just try to kiss her on the lips.

lovexXx · 03-27-2011, 10:53 PM

Ask her! Thats the best way to know what she is really looking for. No point in beating around the bush.
Cimarron might be on to something, if she said she is possibly trying to work things out with the roommate, then maybe you could be a back up plan for when/if that doesn't work.

03-11-2011, 07:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
keymaker Upright Location: N Atlanta Georgia	Need opinions...especially from the ladies! Ok-I am a sales rep and last Aug became involved in an email relationship (very XXX) with a woman I see twice per week at an account I service. On 3 occasions she made it clear she wanted to be physical with me, once it happened. I knew she had been living with a woman for 7 years (not just as a roomate...) but she said the relationship was rocky. She also made it clear that she did not label herself as a lesbian. I know I should have backed off and considered it but I was already emotionally vested in it when I found out about the girlfriend and you know how that goes. She was married for 8 years to a somewhat abusive fellow and divorced hime b4 she got involved with her girlfriend. I am 50 she is 40. Well-she told me a while back that she needed to work on the relationship with the woman and make it better. She is basically a kept woman there as her financial matters were screwed in her divorce. I cooperated fully and we kept up a tame email for awhile but now that has stopped. I still see her twice per week and we are friendly but calm. About 2 weeks ago I go in to see her and I notice right away that her hair is just like I told her I liked it...and she is extra friendly. Then out of the blue she gives me a gift...a pendant she bought me to hang on my motorcycle. I thought this was a little unusual as I know most folks don't buy unique gifts for someone of the opposite sex for no reason. She has acted very low key since then so I am a little confused... I would like to ask...especially the ladies...what do you think? Is there something there? Is this gift a signal...or not? She gave me lots of signals back before that she was into me, but not too much after we cooled it. I have acted very hands off since as I am not a needy or clingy person and I think she knows how I feel. Plus I do NOT want to cause any pain for anyone. Since this is a somewhat unique situation I hope we can have lots of discussion here. Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

03-11-2011, 07:49 AM	#2 (permalink)
Cimarron29414 Still Free Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!	Dude, it's pretty simple. You are "Plan B." She will string you along just in case the current bit doesn't work out. All you have to decide is whether you are willing to be a consolation prize. __________________ Gives a man a halo, does mead. "Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

03-11-2011, 09:28 AM	#3 (permalink)
jewels Eponymous Location: Central Central Florida	It could mean something, it could mean nothing. Sometimes friends give friends gifts when they see something they think that friend would like. You're having a Friends-With-Benefits relationship, based on what you've said. Cimarron could very well be right, but the only way to find out what's going on in any relationship is to ASK. Friends, lovers, all relationships with a potential future all require communication between both parties. __________________ We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess. Mark Twain

03-11-2011, 02:03 PM	#4 (permalink)
Zeraph Banned Location: The Cosmos	I don't know, just try to kiss her on the lips.

03-27-2011, 10:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
lovexXx Upright	Ask her! Thats the best way to know what she is really looking for. No point in beating around the bush. Cimarron might be on to something, if she said she is possibly trying to work things out with the roommate, then maybe you could be a back up plan for when/if that doesn't work.