I simply cannot come to orgasm getting a BJ
 

I have no clue what is going on. I can come to orgasm with a hand job, true sexual intercourse and with masturbation but when my fiancé goes down on me, i cannot get there. There tends to be a burning sensation (QUITE nice feeling, goes down to my toes) but then it goes from that to WAY too sensitive and that makes me go flaccid, as it nearly hurts. Anyone else have a similar problem and worked through it? She really enjoys it and likes me to come. I really want to be able to, for both of us, but it is insanely difficult.

I have a similar issue, and always have, but for me I've figured out that the sensations that make me cum are generated from the base of my dick, on the bottom and unless I start hanging out with Heather Brooke, a mouth isn't going to be down there very often, no matter how good she is at what she's doing. But I still love it.

The good part is, it helps significantly with lasting as long as I want to during intercourse. There are only certain angles that are going to really going to hit that spot well and I can control that at will, so... it allows me to have a lot of control. That's been a major bonus over the years.

Mostly, I'd say don't worry about it. If it's that big of a deal, see if you can figure out what buttons are getting pushed during other activities that don't get attention when she goes down on you and try to adjust. Make it an adeventure, don't let it get all weird. And... it might be mental, too - that can be harder to overcome.

Mostly, if you like it just keep doing it. Life is good. =) Oops! Missed it again; I guess we'll have to keep practicing...

normally I can't either. (not the burning or the flacidness, but the orgasm)

don't worry.
just work with it; do what does it for you.
and even if it feels good, do it; the orgasm is not the whole reason.
everyone is different.

I've only been able to orgasm during a bj a couple of times and the women really really worked it. I think this is a common problem with guys though.

I think that part of our orgasm is brought on by the thrusting action, so maybe try standing and thrusting in and out of her mouth. If this doesn't work and she still wants to fill her mouth with your cum just fuck her till she's close and then have her finish the job with her mouth.

My gf of six years has brought me to orgasm through oral stimulation alone exactly two times. I think this is a common theme for the hombres.

Me neither.
I truly, deeply love it but I rarely cum. Trying to doesn't help at all though.

There was this trick that my girl used, she'd make a sort of 'milking' motion with her hand and copied it with her head. Sounds kinda quirky when I write it down here, but it worked, sometimes.

Good advice!
I've always felt that if there were to be one rule, it should be that both should enjoy it.

same here.. no biggie..
Just make sure your fiancee knows it's not that she isnt doing a good job, if you just cant do it..you can't.

I am in the same boat, I've had one girl accually finish me all the way on a blowjob, but she had to finish it with a handjob to get me to orgasm, I think it's the thrusting theory BigJayz, but I saw a post on TFP (V 3.0 I think) that was the guide book for blowjobs, which I think if everyone followed that post's guidelines, no one would have a problem.
Oh and hands help out alot during those final moments :).

I've never had this particular problem, but I do second the opinion that you should do what feels good to you and not do what doesn't.

The only times I've NOT had an orgasm from oral sex, something distracting was going on, like the TV was on, or there was distracting music on or something. That and technique. The first girl who ever gave me a blow job was not particularly skilled. Fortunately, lurkette much more than made up for those early experiences. :D

I used to not be able to, but then I stopped worrying about it, and all my problems were solved. :)

almost impossible for me, too. It's a delightful appetizer, though...

Only been finished off once. Man it was good. But my wife has a thing against me blowing in her mouth. Stupid science channel. Ever since she saw the little sperm swimming around she won't swallow!

I have never had a problem bringing a man to orgasm while giving a BJ.

It is all about technique gentlemen. There was a great "how to" guide I had started on the old version.

To bad we lost it. Maybe one day I will feel like writing it all down again.

I have a ticket for this boatride...LOL.

As micah wrote "It's a delightful appetizer"

*Nikki* says: Never leave a girl to do a lady's job.

:p

this is actually news to me how "common" it is for you guys. usually, its the other way around, where i can't come during oral. its nice when we (men and women) can relate. as rare as it is.

Same here. My x could make me cum in the 69 position, but I just could not finish most other times. Even worse is she did a great job, a really great job. Maybe I just need to get more head to get my mind used to the different feeling.

Never have either........I have had some GREAT blowjobs, including 2 women at once. I just can't get there...

My advice........keep trying!!
;)

It certainly takes longer for me to have an orgasm from a BJ than from any other type of stimulation, but I can still have them that way.

This is exactly why I enjoy them so freaking much. . .

Wish I had this problem.....I generally have to have the wife stop cuz i'll come before we ever get to intercourse :(

hm, interesting thread..

is kinda like that with my bf, i don't think i've ever gotten him to cum from just oral sex...

it looks like a fairly common problem, and perhaps that means i don't *need* to think i'm doing something wrong.. ?

(i mean, according to my bf, what i do feels damn good...is just so far seems only able to orgasm from either hand or intercourse)

i'd be veery interested in your words of wisdom on this :)

:icare:

I do think it is a matter of technique. Only one ex-girlfriend has ever been able to bring me to orgasm during a BJ. She sucked cock like a pro.
Suspiciously like a pro...

My, don't WE have a big head (pun intended) about this?


No, it's not. It has happened exactly three times to me in about 15 years of sexual activity and 25 to 30 partners. With the ones that it did happen with, it only happened once. I _love_ the activity, but it just doesn't even get me close to the edge 98% of the time and of the other 2%, it's often just close and that's because she's doing a phenomenal job. I came to realize long ago that it's something in my head and stopped worrying about it. The biggest problem I ever have is being with someone new and having to assure her repeatedly that it's nothing she's doing wrong and please don't stop doing it - I've found that a warning before she ever does it once goes a long way towards smoothing this for both of us.

Women are fond of reminding men that you usually have to engage their heads or they're not going to get there... and a lot of men are the same way. It's just that usually, it's not a complicated process with men. ;)

I found the women I've been with that have applied a hand stroking motion along with the mouth are most successful in completing my orgazm. Mouth alone is much more difficult. Girls that are having troubles, watch a couple adult movies. You'll see just how much hand stroking needs to be involved sometimes.

if the girl can find someway to help please with her hands while giving a BJ, it will very much appreciated by all her partners.

ok...point taken with the hand...

my question for you guys, is what about fingers?
as in, prostate-play? :p

is this something that any of you have found to help the bj-cum...and are willing to admit it?

or does that just create a whole different sort of sensation alltogether?

Nothing to worry about unless you're really wanting to experience it. I've never been able to have an orgasm that way, and I know several other guys who can't either. Everyone is different in their sexual preferences and it's nothing to worry about.

Yes they should be called suck-jobs and hopefully no one blows as this can potentially cause serious health problems, IIRC.

Something u mite want to try, mastubate and bring yourself close to the edge, and let the girl take over, not as good as if she does the whole start to finish but its still good, especially if it gets swallowed

I have found that some women love to suck cock, and when they are in tune it gets me over the top.

But sadly I've noticed that all too often cocksucking is done as some sort of 'show' or 'obligation' or some way to prove themselves sexually. When a woman just starts attacking my cock without tenderness and enjoyment, I'd rather just move on to something else- 'cause it ain't gonna make me cum. Warm, wet, and slow building up to warm, wet and quicker is what makes my day.

It's great, but it's never helpe me reach orgasm from oral sex.

Never had it in combination with a BJ, but I do know it can make cum quick and hard. I think in this scenario you might consider doing it as a way of taking control over him- as if you're going to make him cum wether he wants to or not. Succes depends on the guy being into that, ofcourse ;)

*applauds* :D that's the one! And the girl should focus mainly on the dick but give momentary glances from time to time. I really don't like it when a girl keeps looking at me.

It is definately all in the technique...

I've also found that many women just don't know what they are doing when it comes to giving a blowjob. When I first met my wife she was quite mediocre at giving a blow job. Never came and didn't enjoy it. We talked about it a bit and one day she was much better. Said she asked a friend about it and got some advice... She can now make my toes curl with the best of them!



Mouth alone will never (well not anymore) do it for me. The best bj is always a combination of hands (both hands is best) and mouth... The hands for the friction and the mouth for warmth and lubrication...

It ends up being like a warm, wet handjob...

With my current girl friend, at the beginning of our relationship, it would be hard for my cock to be in her mouth for more then a minute without me having to hold back a orgasm.

Now, I become flaccid almost everytime. Her technique has changed, unfortunately, for the worse. Grabbing her head while making gentle (and not so gentle) fucking movements really seems to help. The main thing is to clear my own head!

My previous girl friend was a total pro at oral sex. Her fingers felt near my prostate on occasion but that was not necessary. She loved giving more then receiving even though I really enjoyed the mutual the best.

I've never cum from a blowjob...

I'm an experienced chap, it's not about the techniques employed...

In my head, no biggy.