Thrombatic Pyle

...anyone ever been in one that worked?

settie

Nope.
I've been in two failed long-distance relationships.
I'm friends with both of them now.
You gotta be able to afford to go back and forth a lot, and it takes a lot of work for both parties.

hapa

I'm in one right now, and so far so good. However, the distance isn't too bad since we are both in CA (about a one hour flight/six hour drive).
We have been apart for roughly 10 months (with visits in between) and were a couple for four years before I moved.
If we were further apart and had different schedules I think it would be even harder because it would be more difficult to afford to visit one another, like settie mentioned.

PonyPotato

You're going to have to define "worked." Wasn't too stressful? Was okay until the partners moved closer together? Was part of a relationship that is ongoing? Resulted in marriage? Was part of a relationship that lasted at least 6 months? Your definition of success is going to be key in a lot of responses, I think.

__________________
"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel

Thrombatic Pyle

Lasted. 6 months or longer would be good. I was in one a few years ago, swore them off and now find myself teetering on the brink of another one. I almost feel like calling it off before it gets started before someone gets hurt.

Baraka_Guru

I was in one for a year--we were separated by the better part of 2,000 miles. That was nearly 10 years ago now.

We're still together.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Thrombatic Pyle

An optimistic assessment. We are seperated by 375 miles.

Cimarron29414

Been in 3 of them through college. Dated girls from my hometown who went to different colleges than me. In two of the three cases, we broke up because we felt the distance was unfair to one another (especially for a college relationship). The break-ups were fine and I am still friends with them to this day. The other lasted post college, but we eventually broke up. We are still friends. I think if the two that were break-ups had occurred at the end of my college career, rather than near the beginning, there would have been an end in sight and we would have lasted. So, is this a temporary thing or permanent? I wouldn't do it unless there was a defined merge point.

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Gives a man a halo, does mead.

"Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

CinnamonGirl

Really, I think it only works if you have some point in mind where it stops being long distance.

I'm in a long distance relationship right now. It will cease to be long distance in June. I am totally counting the days.

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Plan9

I'd recommend running a TFP search for "long distance." You'll find all sorts of useful stuff.

This topic has been covered extensively and there is a wealth of information out there.

Most of us have gone through a long distance relationship before with mixed results.

Up until last year I was a serial LDR guy... mostly due to the military and Web dating sites.

I've since determined that you can find a decent partner just about anywhere you live.

...

On this topic? In general I feel like:

Frankie Says Relax (Don't Do It).

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

snowy

It doesn't work for me. I think it totally depends on the people in the relationship and the effort they're willing to put into it, as well as what floats their boat in a relationship. Personally, I like to see my partner a lot and spend time with him. Obviously, in a LDR those things are much more difficult.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

IhatemyISP

Yeap.

Despite having a previous one go south on me, my current relationship started at a 2 hour flight away, and then went to almost 10000 miles away. We're still happily engaged.

Aladdin Sane

Yes. My girlfriend was in The Netherlands and I lived in Texas. This was in the days before the internet and cheap telephone calls. We wrote letters to each other. Yes, very quaint, I know. We saw each other three times in three years, and the third time we got married. That was 22 years ago and we are still happily married, with two children. So, yes, I've been in a long-distance relationship that "worked."

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Kelsey

I'm moving away from my bf in one week. We'll still be in Maine but at opposite ends (about 500 miles). I've never been in a LDR before... we've only been together for 2 months but I'm hopeful. We both have reliable vehicles and weekends off. I'm gonna try real hard...

cadre

My fiancé and I lived two hours apart for about half of our relationship. We saw each other on weekends but if it wasn't for that I'm sure it wouldn't have worked. That says more about me than anything else. Long distance relationships require a lot from both people, not everyone is made out for it.

__________________
My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

Marshmellofluff

No, I'm sorry. I was in a relationship with a boy in England when I was living in new York, but I have to say that his possessiveness and jealousy were the main factors in the break-up (I never gave him any reason to act that way, by the by) so if you're both well-adjusted people it might work.