A better question is: What the fuck would they search for?

this story is drenched in sheer and utter class.

you really do need to grow up a little, man up and stop acting like a little teenager that you are.

Now the fat asian chick that you banged may be having your child....karma i say.

Your posting career here probably isn't a collection of your proudest moments, but there's nothing public that's personally identifiable with such a nondescript user name.

its dawned on me that you 'sex buddy dilemma' has evolved from .....

should i be sleeping with a fat chick
how do i get away from her
should i sleep with her again
im hating how i treat her
should i should take her out again and treat her good
uh oh, she's pregnant..is it mine?
how do i get her to have an abortion
i need to get tested

i was being a troll.
i think its best if this thread is deleted because its a fake thread.

I think it's best if you are deleted, if you were actually trolling. Otherwise I think you just regret making this thread, and think claim this will make it go away.

Among other things. :rolleyes:

Bwahahahahahaha! Having just read this thread for the first time, I have to say that it was predictable. Somewhere on Page 2, I said to myself "no condoms or she pokes a hole in one - she's definitely getting pregnant."

I rarely, if ever, talk publicly about my official positions here on TFP, but I'm breaking that rule now. I don't care if you say you're a troll or not. I'm going to do everything in my power to keep this thread open and public because it's 1) hilarious and 2) educational. It's pretty much a great Afterschool Special on "Why Being a Playa is Bad".

For the record, I also officially hope that you're really a troll and that there's not a potential child out there. It's painfully obvious that you're in no way capable of parenting any child, and I sincerely hope that you've moved out on your own and aren't around anyone under the age of about 17. Regardless of whether or not you're a troll, hopefully you'll mature into a decent member of society one day, but you're clearly not there yet.

OK, I'm going to cut and paste all of this into the staff discussion on the issue with a few minor edits. And then I'm going to continue to laugh at you and hope that you're just a liar.

you know jazz, sometimes you're a total asshole. But whatever you say in this thread, I just cant see you beating the OP'er in that category.

Try if you must, but a_hero starts with "a" for a reason.

Trolololololololololololol

No way you are a troll, now that you said you were, and you just asked us before if you could somehow get this thread removed because you're scared that someone you know might find out about this and realize that you are a bigger idiot than they already thought you were.

Keep it going kid, let us know the results of the test. Don't stop now...jeez.

Is it okay, Cyn, that I inform him, you are not a chick?

Whhhhhhhhhhaaaaat? But who have I been sending those love letters to? What about that picture with the long hair? Oh god I wacked it to a duuudddddddddd-do you see the weather report today? It's going to rain ALL DAY. ALL DAY.

*akhem*

Carry on.

No self-respecting troll would admit to it, at worst he'd bail on the thread and not come back.

I swear I've seen this on a bumper sticker...


I have no advice beyond what has already been said. Man up and tell her you don't have feelings for her. She's going to cry, you're going to feel like shit and a creep (as you should.) But the world marches on.

hmm, seems like an awful lot of judgment and soap-box preaching here. sort of ruined what started as an interesting thread and would like to see how this turns out. if we can hold off on bashing the fuck out of the kid for a few minutes, I am definitely curious on the results of the test if nothing else. if the OP and following posts are real, then the person probably came here looking for legit advice and not a bunch of browbeating. none of you has ever drunkenly banged a whale or dated someone you weren't prepared to take home to mom/friends/etc? anyway I'm done. i did giggle a little at this thread but damn we can't all just bash on someone, Isn't this supposed to be an open-minded discussion, etc? Not saying I approve of the behavior, but damn...

---------- Post added at 09:34 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:31 PM ----------

edit: oh and PS nobody believes you when you say you're a troll so you may as well let us know it turns out...

Uh-huh.

I feel like I just watched an episode of Jerry Springer.... who's with me?

So far so good, ive basically escaped any embarrassment and even if it comes out, its been long enough that im pretty sure i'll be able to brush it off fairly easy.

Spoke to her briefly and i think she got the memo, she even said "hope to see you again, but just as friends this time" or something to that effect.

On another note i think im getting better with the whole being a gentleman thing. Met a girl 2 weeks ago when i was out and was having a really interesting conversation with her. Ended up kissing a little at the club and chatted for about an hour outside. I asked if she felt like coming over to my place and she thought it was a nice idea "but only as friends!!" she said. I knew that was bs and she was keen.

Got back to mine and as we were lying in bed we kissed a little then i decided i wanted to get some sleep (it was probably around 3 in the morning and considering she claimed to just want to be friends i decided to see what it would be like to not push for anything).

After trying to get to sleep for a few mins she started telling me how she was a little offended that i didnt want to do anything with her. On a side note, as expected she wasnt the a top looking chick, so i thought she was basically saying "don't you want to do anything with me because im fat". The truthful answer was, yeh basically even i dont want to fuck you, but my natural instincts took over and i started to finger her.

Don't know how much detail i should go into but she was leaking fairly bad and at that point she gave me the "you ready look". Then out of the blue i just stopped and said something like "i don't think i can do this", i think i just wanted to see what would happen when the roles are reversed. I thought it would be fun to hold the power over her, but she took it fairly well and kept saying "i bet your a virgin. your are aren't you....arent you??". I kinda agrees, at this stage i was a little sleep deprived and couldn't be bothered playing her game any longer.

It was probably a good idea in the end because she ended up being even weirder then me, saying all kinds of fucked up things. Asking me what i wanted to do with her today. Movies? Picnic? She even wanted to do some "arts and craft"!!

My excuse for telling her that i wanted her to leave was "i really enjoy watching the basketball (i think it was game 6, not too sure) and i like doing it alone". She seemed a little upset and got to that stage that everyone knows where your on the cusp of crying, so i kinda just shut up. I didnt get her number or give her mine but i walked her to the gate and even told her where to get a taxi from, so i reckon i handled myself real well.

If i'd never been on this site i reckon i wouldn't have handled the situation so well. I think im growing on the inside.

Just forgot the best bit. Had a bad case of blue balls so i watched a little youporn and no kidding i swallowed a little of my own juice because i shot it soo hard. That last bit was for that guy that i thought was a girl.

You have grown man, I can see that, grown like a lichen you have.

MrFriendly, don't make me write you up for flaming lichen. That's just not nice.

Mr. OP, regardless of whether or not you believe in karma, it believes in you.

What are you talking about? I bet you he lives quite the happy life---filled with rewarding experiences and strong, fulfilling relationships. On his death bed, he's going to look back over his life and think, "You know what? If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing...."

And rightly so.

I'd bet 35 bottle caps that this is the same guy who wrote the "I live naked in my apartment with a homeless girl and I take in boarders" thread.

Sex buddies withstanding conversation are lesser dilemmas.

"man up = zero embarrassment"

Your own responses are your responsibility.

Be a_hero to yourself.

actually, cimaron, its not the same dude. we banned that dudes ass for a lot of reasons. theres too many reasons to get into, but Mr OP here isnt even close.

a_hero, thanks for coming back to fill us in. However, you've got to work on your skillz a little more dude. there's no way you're going to hold down a long term relationship with an attitude towards women like that. fat chicks want to get laid too you know.

now im not saying you should have screwed her, but you dont take someone back to your place to sip on english breakfast tea till the early morn. so i think you need to seriously tone down on the games, and seriously think about a hobby...maybe arts & crafts?

that's too bad, that was a sweet thread, the surrounding BS notwithstanding. I enjoyed every second of it



oh yeah to the OP, thanks for coming back. And you know what they say, just keep lowering your standards until you're satisfied. at least, they should say that.