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Old 07-07-2003, 11:22 AM   #1 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Canada
Girlfriend could be moving

So my girlfriend of 6 1/2 months told me today that she didn't get into Grad School. She will be starting her fourth year of University in the fall as well has writing her honours thesis. She wanted to take her Grad school course (3 - 6 years) in the same city. However today she informed me she didn't get in. Since we started dating she has told me how much grad school would mean to her and taking grad school courses would almost ensure her a job as a college prof somewhere. However she stressed how hard it is to get in.

We live 2 1/2 hours away and have been in a long distance relationship since we started dating. What she doesn't know is that I'm moving down to where she lives August 1st. I was lucky enough to transfer internally within my own company. Now she wants my advice on what she should do. In 6 weeks she has to decide whether or not she will take a year off and write her GRE's or start looking for Grad schools. THere is one grad school in my city, where I currently live. However I highly doubt its of the calibre of the ones in Toronto, Vancouver, the USA, etc.

Now she's talking about taking a year off and seeing how things go. She never mentioned us . . . but I know that is weighing heavily on her mind as well. I told her that I know Grad school is important to her and I think she should go. I personally would not let her stay back and not reach her full potential becuase of me, I think that is very unfair and selfish on my part. If it came down to her staying solely because she wanted to be with me and not go to grad school . .. . . . I would break up with her before than happened. I would always feel it was my fault she never reached the potential I know she has in her. She would settle for a 4 year honors degree and start looking for work.

I'm thinking of now ending this relationship prematurially. Why stay together for the next year while she's still here. I've already fallen in love with her and it would be only that much harder to watch her go away and out of my life forever. This is the first girl I've ever loved, the first girl I've said "I love you" too, and visions of a future together have crossed my mind more than once.

I am fairily young. Early 20's. I would like to know what other people think.

Thanx
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Old 07-07-2003, 11:31 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Farm country, South Dakota
Disclaimer: I've never been there, nor had a serious relationship ever. So, knowing my advice don't mean shit continue if you dare.

The only thing I'm going to say is talk about it. Find out her feelings, explain yours. Hell, use the post as a base.

Other than that, good luck. I hope it works out.
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Old 07-07-2003, 11:51 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Honestly, I am an idealist. If you love someone enough to spend the rest of your life with them, you find a way to stay together. If you love her but not deeply enough for a life commitment then yeah I would just break it off. It's sad that we have to make these choices of career v. love, but we do. If I loved her deeply I woudn't let her go for any amount of money or career, and would expect the same from her.
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I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince
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Old 07-07-2003, 11:59 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: RI
Like SuperMidget said, talk about it. That's numero uno. Put all the facts down on the table pretty soon, and see where things go from there.
I believe if there is a will though, there is a way.
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Old 07-08-2003, 05:21 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: The True North Strong and Free!
get married and keep her at home barefoot and pregnant.
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