im over it!
 

So for the last few weeks my upstairs neighbors like to have EXTREMELY loud sex early in the morning. I work as a bartender and my bar doesn't close until 4am so when I get home im really fucking tired! Now the couple above me are a gay couple, and even though there is nothing wrong with gay people, the sound of two men having really loud ass sex at 5 am is not appealing to me. haha. Don't get me wrong they are amazing people. I am just fed up! I cant take it, I'm a photographer from 1pm to 6pm and a bartender from 7pm to 4am. Those seven hours of sleep in between are MUCH needed. Anyway, to break it all down.. i need ways that i can get up the balls to calmly tell them to tone it down a bit before i pull out all my mother f'ing hair! ...... help me ..... please *grinds teeth* :grumpy:

I don't know if there's really much you can do to put a halt to their love making, honestly. I'm sure if you confronted them about it, they would either be embarrassed, or offended by you bringing it to their attention, but you never know.

Try catching one of them out and about one time, and let them know that you're able to hear their rendezvous from your bedroom, and it's affecting your sleep. It's either that, or buy a pair of ear plugs to put in when you sleep!

All the best.

slip a note under the door when they're out.

and at least you can also be anonymous too! no eye contact, not weird feelings when the door opens, no weird looks and uncomfortable feelings in the lift

just dont use caps lock!

That's a good idea! I didn't even think about it. As long as they're not familiar with your handwriting, you would avoid the awkward meeting.

True. And i have tried the ear plugs before, it does nothing. I mean its not just loud sex like moaning and groaning. It's screaming and to be honest it sounds like someone is beating the shit out of the wall. haha. But I'll try the note i suppose, what damage could it to...right? *sigh* Maybe im just jealous at the fact im not having loud sex...haha!

p.s. dlish, stop giving me shit about my caps! I'm frustrated okay!? =P :)

They just need to back it up by, what, and hour and a half? Just slip an anonymous note under the door summarizing your request.

ha! lulu i think you misunderstood me..

when i said dont use caps, i meant dont use caps in your note to the neighbours! you did say that you wanted to tell them calmly didnt you?

Of course you could always write them a really nice letter saying that you work a night shift, sleep through the morning that often get woken up by them "waking up and gettig ready for work" at 5am.

You know you mean ass fucking.

They know you mean ass fucking.

You know that they know that you mean ass fucking.

But both of you can PRETEND that you all mean jumping out of bed and running to the kettle to put it on for a lovely cup of coffee.

That way, everyone spares their blushes, and instead of them saying "the homophone downstairs hates ass fucking, lets do more and louder" they think "the hard working dude downstairs needs his rest so he can pursue the American Dream (tm) lets help him have a lie in by only doing oral in the mornings".

With luck, telling them that you work until 4am will either cause them to fuck earlier while you're out, or burgle you.

yes...*grumble grumble* im sorry dlish, im being an edgy b****.

---------- Post added at 01:20 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:08 AM ----------


HAHA! well even if they fuck earlier, im sure I'll get dirty looks after mentioning something about it to them, I'll probably end up with spit on the door knob (if it's called that now days)... ha. And you know whats worse they play country loud as well (during sex) therefore making them scream louder im assuming so they can hear themselves fucking? i think the best way to resolve this right now because im pissed is to blast folk yodeling music of some kind and play the crappiest $3.00 porno i can find just a loud as they fuck. :thumbsup:

Logan, that is the best comic ever.

If the note fails, try this ...

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2643/...ccd80879_o.jpg

HA! this comic is perfect! :) thanks Logan!

The polite note method worked for us. Our upstairs neighbor is unbearably loud all night. I explained what our hours are, and that we felt embarrassed because we were stuck there in bed listening. It's not like you can just turn on the TV and drown them out when you're trying to sleep. I apologized repeatedly for bringing it up but emphasized that I wouldn't have done so if it wasn't such a serious issue for me. Apparently this was the right phrasing for my particular situation.

I also tried the indirect approach - "we can hear you get up" - but it didn't work at all. That's when I sent a second note, as outlined above.

The note method has worked for me in the past...and been done to me in the past. They probably don't realize they're causing such a problem so just make sure they know. Good luck! :thumbsup:

If you know them really well I'd talk to them in person. Perhaps a little embarrassment will abound but in the end I suppose they might feel better if it came from somebody they know and not a stranger. If not I'd suggest a note as well...possibly talk to the landlord or super and let them handle it?

If non of the above works I suggest finding about a dozen women, inviting them to your apartment and having tragically loud orgies at really awkward times.

I would advise against having a landlord deal with this unless you have a very nice land lord. In my experience, land lords do not handle noise complaints in a nice way and it just ends up causing resentment or evictions.

Ask nicely. Be embarrassed but polite.

If they are assholes about their ass fucking, call the cops next time they do it.

If they still keep it up, call the cops and actually file a complaint against them. Afterall, you have a right to lay in your bed and sleep without some redneck dudes doing the ass dance obnoxiously loud.

Have you ever thought that they KNOW everyone can hear them and it turns them on? They may just need a reality check about their impolite behavior. Part of the deal when you live in a shared building is that you can't yell, scream, party, fight, fuck watch movies as loud as you want anytime you want.

Okay, I really don't understand why so many comments imply that you should avoid direct approach and if you don't, then to act embarrassed. What exactly is so bad about knocking on the door and politely explaining that their noises bother you? Is it some sort of taboo to mention sex to another human being? Even when that human being has loud enough sex to be heard in another apartment?

I'm honestly baffled.

Just talk to them.

While I am the type who believes we should just say what we think...I also know that not everyone is like that and sometimes....if you rub a little salve on the sore spot...people receive things much better.

If you talk to them like you are uncomfortable about the conversation, they will not get the impression that you are trying to tell them what to do (even though you are) and instead of feeling like you are barging into their bedroom...humility might help them to realize that they have been barging into yours.

I agree...you SHOULD be able to just lay it out there and tell people things but you greatly increase the chances of getting what you want when you coat your bitter pill in a spoon full of honey IMHO.

Thanks for all the advice. I finally walked my happy white ass up to their apartment. thank god they didn't answer, i probably would have peed myself. haha. anyway, i left a pleasant note stating this. "Hello --- & ---, I wanted to discuss a certain issue with you and your SO, but i would like to do it in person so we can better resolve the situation. Please feel free to call me as well. Take care, Lyndsay." Alright, i know it sounds really short and poorly written, and i know i didn't address the ass sex head on...but...it worked! i slipped the note under their door before i went to work, i got home around 4:30am and heard the two of them walk in the door shortly after. I couldn't make out what they were saying upstairs though. anyhow, the redneck ass sex at 5 am has stopped! granted its only been a couple of days. So, ill keep posting to keep you all updated. But YAY for me! :)

I'm sorry, maybe I missed it, but what differentiates redneck ass sex from regulation buttsex? Does my copy of the ASTM have a set of standards that lays this out, maybe with volume to distance ratios? Or maybe it has to do with the hats they're wearing at the time, in which case you have really good hearing.

I'm so confused.

redneck buttsechz sounds like deliverance.
regulation buttsechz sounds like brokeback mountain.

(i've never seen either movie, I'm just guessing, lol)

It says above that the couple blasts country music before they start banging. Hence, redneck ass sex.

I really like the people who I've seen change their wifi names to something like "I can hear you having sex!!" so when it shows up in their list of possible wifi connections, they see it, without any direct confrontation, lol. It's embarrassing to them, at worst. Then again, only works for those without automatic connections. :P

You could always just leave a polite note, asking them to try to keep it a bit quieter, without being too passive aggressive. Be sure to invest in some good ear plugs and keep some music or something on if you can fall asleep to it.

My computers connect every time without even notifying me. If I'm ever in an apartment, I'd better check once in a while to make sure I'm not missing passive-aggressive messages from my neighbors. If I saw that in a network list, I'd probably change mine to something like "Think that's loud? you should hear her without the ball gag"

Lmao!! That'd be even more awesome.

AHAHAHAHA! hell yes!

---------- Post added at 11:51 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:46 PM ----------

Alright I think it's safe to say that the 5am sex is done! It happened again not to long ago, but I just let it slide. (ew, that sounded dirty). anyway, no point in getting upset over it if it's not happening every night like it was before. I honestly don't give a shit if they want to have sex, (we're only human). But being super loud at 5 am blasting country music just wasn't going to fly. haha. YAY!