Need advice...
 

I met a guy on a "dating site" about 5 months ago, and we clicked very well and hangout quite often. He is 25 and I am 20. We actually dated for about 2 weeks and we went to the store and three different girls walked up to him and were talking to him, and he could not respect me and introduce them to me. So we got into an argument. Well we were trying things again and I found pictures, of a girl he had been messing around with before me, naked on his phone, and there was a way I knew they were recent. He says he does not want a relationship right now, but he goes and meets other girls. Well we just hungout and he got upset that I met someone new, and we had incredible sex, but he just wont settle down with me. So I didnt text him or call him for 2 days, thinking maybe we should just stop talking. So today he texted me and wants to hangout... Does he care about me and is just too afraid to admit it or is he just playing me?

zomgpink!

---------- Post added at 09:29 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:28 PM ----------

Try asking him, btw.

I have....

the guy is young and just wants to mess around and meet women. 25 is young to settle down. just ask me..i settled down at 23.

if you'e looking for a long term reltionship, look elswhere

He's playing you. Big time. Stay away from this guy. If a guy doesn't want to be exclusive, and says so, then it's up to you how to proceed. If a guy says, or leads you to believe, that he wants to be exclusive, and you find him cheating on you within 2 weeks, he's not worth it.

Neither of you sound mature enough for a serious committed relationship.

Then believe him.

Listen to Manic, seriously.

Dude said he doesn't want a relationship, that doesn't mean he doesn't want sex, it means he doesn't want to be tied down to one person.

But then he says and does things that completely contradict the whole no relationship thing.

No really - just talk to him instead of driving yourself nuts by wondering. It will save your sanity. Honest. There's got to be communication in any good relationship.

Thank You, you are the only one that gave me reasonable advice...

Just got out of one. It was a difficult break up. It really is solid advice. It'll all work out for the best regardless. :)

You mean: she was the only one who gave you advice you were willing to listen to.

I see where you're coming from. But everyone's so quick to judge this guy as being a douche when they when they know absolutely nothing about him. Not all guys are the same. Maybe he does care or whatever.

She just needs to talk to him.

That's so true it's not even funny, it seems to happen in almost every advice thread.

I think that's why I stopped giving advice in these threads.

.....

So far I thought it was all pretty solid advice.

He says he doesn't want a relationship then he doesn't. He does otherwise so that you will fuck him.

If I am out with a guy and he meets several women in a store and he doesn't introduce any of us, it kind of throws up a red flag. Personally, if I felt threaten by it I would have stepped in and introduced myself to her. No sense in making him explain/lie/argue about it later.

Follow him like a puppy. Carve his name on your arm with a pen knife. Write your first name and his last name on every scrap of paper you can get your hands on. That is the sure ticket 2 TruLove 4eva.

Being a guy (as evident by the appendage in the nether regions of my body), I will tell you this very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very plainly - he's playing you. Run.

Wow.

And I'm usually the pessimist.

It's a combination of it all. He has other girls he sees but then gets jealous of her?? I would run like hell. I'm not sure why you don't think he is a douche bag..

Assuming has gotten me into unnecessary trouble a lot. I find it's best to just talk instead of wonder. To get the facts.

I believe in gut instinct. If she feels like a booty call, then she is one.

That's a huge problem of mine. My instinct doesn't exist. But my paranoia does. On paper, it just seems to make the most sense for her to talk to him like an adult instead of immediate catty assumptions. But irl, I probably wouldn't follow my own advice here as I often feel everyone's out to screw me over period lol.

I find that when I talk to someone who I feel is a douche bag, they are usually pretty convincing liars.

I used to find it difficult to follow my own advice as well. My experiences have taught me that my gut instinct is right so I choose to follow it now.

I saw try talking to him but like Lady Bear and a few others stated in various ways, BE CAREFUL! Don't let him sweet talk you, use your judgment. If he has already said he doesn't want a relationship ask him why he was on the dating site. But don't be confrontational about it, just find out what his expectation were when joining the site and then meeting you.

A few weeks is not enough time for you to be concerned that he is not introducing you to all the random people he meets in the store. But that being said, it may be an indication of his behavior.

Talk to him but be smart about it.

"If a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions."




That is all. Carry on.

How is he playing her? He says he doesn't want to be exclusive and then, gasp, he isnt! He's worried he'll lose his booty call if you start dating someone exclusively, that plus some primal evolutionary harem collection/protection instinct is as probably as far as he's thought it out.

ding ding ding! Dave, tell him what he's won...

Is it possible he was on the dating site because, ooooh I don't know....Maybe he wanted to find women to date? I don't think he is necessarily playing her or that he is a douchebag just because he's a guy who likes sex and doesn't want a relationship.

I thought it was the pictures of a naked x in his phone and the jealousy were what made him a douche. But you're right he could be a totally respectable man whore.

Nooooo, we're supposed to be exclusive and all Romantic Comedy'd from day one.

Buncha hypocrites.

...

Dude in OP was being honest. If you take his words at face value... no head games... he's as honest as it gets.

...

Polar opposites, people... rumor has it there is this gray midground between "Let's get married!" and "I ain't a playa, I just fuck a lot."

I'm no hypocrite. I hate dating, so I definitely don't juggle it.

i dont think he's a player. i just think he's being an honest man-ho, who doesnt want a relationship. he tells her he doesnt want her to be with any men and that he wants to be with her, because he'll lose his lay for the night.

let me guess..he doesnt call the very nexy day?

With today's smutty television programming choices... I'm surprised that this kinda thing remains a revelation for 20-somethings.

Between the media and their older friends... how are they so oblivious that some guy might just wanna hit it and quit it?

Because girls watch too many damn romantic comedies!

I didn't realize the place was full of relationship experts.

She's not even old enough to drink! I'm sure you all wondered like this when you were younger too lol. At 20, your entire life is a romantic comedy.

Its not full of relationship experts but she did come here for advice and thats what she is getting (along with a few bits of side commentary, but thats in our nature). That is the great thing about tilted, you get various perspectives on an issue whether you want to hear them or not. The other great thing is she doesn't have to listen to any of it, its all up to her how she wants to make this turn out.

I would never describe any part of my life as a romantic comedy...its just life. We live, we learn, we grow. HOPEFULLY!

Okay... Well... I am 20 but I have been in a long term relationship, and my life is not a romantic comedy, I asked for advice hoping not to be criticized about my age... and yes he does call the very next day... he texts me and calls me everyday, and I never go visit him for just a night, its for 3-4 day periods, and he also comes up to my house and visits me. I just thought I was more than a booty call, because we dont have sex constantly, as i have with previous booty calls. We do other things such as walk around detroit, go to baseball games, go to dinner, go to the movies, go to the bar, etc... Thats what made this all so confusing to me!

Well that is all information that might have given some of our cynics a different perspective. Also just so you know many of those questioning the guys motives are men themselves and were once young men like your gentleman. So they were trying, in their own way, to warn you.

Like I said, great thing about asking for advice, you don't have to listen or act on any of it. But you also can't come here and ask for our advice but not give the full story, not that we can ever know the full story. Only the guy in question will know what is going on in his head and all you can do is hope he is truthful with you. Perhaps you are young and some on here aren't quite so young and perhaps a little more jaded with age. But everyone tries to impart their wisdom the best they can, and sometimes our view of the world and thus what advice we give out is based upon our own previous experiences.

Don't take offense to any teasing or questioning of the situation we were only working with what we had as info.

Best of luck in this situation, go talk to him but be smart about it.