Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Sexuality


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 09-30-2009, 01:56 PM   #1 (permalink)
Upright
 
Tory's Avatar
 
Location: under the sea ;)..... no, Florida
How many sexual partners is too many?

My boyfriend and i were in bed yesterday and he told me i was the fourth girl he had ever slept with. I panicked and changed the subject. I have slept with about 30 guys… I’m 25 years old. I’ve been dating since I was 15, having sex since I was 17 and with the occasional one night stand thrown in my number just grew. I know when it comes up again I will have to lie my ass off, but, how many is too many?
Tory is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 02:06 PM   #2 (permalink)
Here
 
World's King's Avatar
 
Location: Denver City Denver
There is no such thing as too many.


And don't lie.
__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown
World's King is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 02:07 PM   #3 (permalink)
Devoted
 
Redlemon's Avatar
 
Donor
Location: New England
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tory View Post
I know when it comes up again I will have to lie my ass off
That's only a good approach if you are planning to move onto #31 pretty soon.
__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.
Redlemon is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 02:13 PM   #4 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
As long as safe practices were involved... I don't think it matters. Granted, I'd be nervous around a girl that's banged a fire support platoon. I've got a lot to live up to...

But, yeah, don't lie about it. It's like faking an orgasm: nobody likes it and once you've done it... they'll call bullshit on everything you do whether it's legit or not.

I think your best bet might be to say that the quantity is petty and that they should focus on what matters most: they have you now.
__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."
Plan9 is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 02:16 PM   #5 (permalink)
will always be an Alyson Hanniganite
 
Bill O'Rights's Avatar
 
Location: In the dust of the archives
I was gonna say; "One more than your current partner.". But, Redlemon kind of alluded to the same sentiment.

Y'know...1...4...10...30...even 50, or more, who cares? If you're happy with this guy, and he's happy with you, then the notches on the bedpost really don't matter so much.
__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.
Bill O'Rights is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 02:23 PM   #6 (permalink)
Addict
 
Anonymous Member's Avatar
 
whats the number at which 'good' boys think twice about the way they feel about you?
Anonymous Member is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 02:28 PM   #7 (permalink)
Une petite chou
 
noodle's Avatar
 
Location: With All Your Base
One more than what makes you comfortable admitting.
__________________
Here's how life works: you either get to ask for an apology or you get to shoot people. Not both. House

Quote:
Originally Posted by Plan9
Just realize that you're armed with smart but heavily outnumbered.
The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. Ayn Rand
noodle is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 02:37 PM   #8 (permalink)
Devoted
 
Redlemon's Avatar
 
Donor
Location: New England
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous Member View Post
whats the number at which 'good' boys think twice about the way they feel about you?
Who knows? I internally flipped out when I found out that my college freshman girlfriend had slept with ONE other guy. I got over it 22 years ago, we're married now.
__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.
Redlemon is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 02:38 PM   #9 (permalink)
Here
 
World's King's Avatar
 
Location: Denver City Denver
I'm okay with my number... even though I'm not sure exactly what it is. I have a round-about idea. It's never bothered me if a girl has a number that society would deem high. If she's clean and free of any STDs, I'm gonna stick my dick in her.
__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown
World's King is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 02:41 PM   #10 (permalink)
Upright
 
Tory's Avatar
 
Location: under the sea ;)..... no, Florida
[QUOTE=If she's clean and free of any STDs, I'm gonna stick my dick in her.[/QUOTE]

Yeah!
Tory is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 02:47 PM   #11 (permalink)
WHEEEE! Whee! Whee! WHEEEE!
 
FuglyStick's Avatar
 
Location: Southern Illinois
Meh, I was a bit of a slut when I was younger. The past is the past, the present is what counts.
__________________
AZIZ! LIGHT!
FuglyStick is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 02:56 PM   #12 (permalink)
zomgomgomgomgomgomg
 
telekinetic's Avatar
 
Location: Fauxenix, Azerona
I had a delightful one night stand with a girl whose number was in the 60s or 70s, and would have again given a repeat opportunity. I probably would have dated her without that bothering me too much, as well, if circumstances had been different. I don't even know what my number is anymore...high teens or so, I think. It doesn't matter who you've slept with, it matters who you're sleeping with. Plus, with less experience, you probably wouldn't be able to do that thing with your tongue.
__________________
twisted no more
telekinetic is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 03:06 PM   #13 (permalink)
Sitting in a tree
 
Location: Atlanta
Quote:
Originally Posted by World's King View Post
I'm okay with my number... even though I'm not sure exactly what it is.
See I'm the same way. I lost count after 5 I think. Never bothered keeping a diary of my activity partners or some crap.
wooÐs is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 03:19 PM   #14 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: nyc
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tory View Post
My boyfriend and i were in bed yesterday and he told me i was the fourth girl he had ever slept with. I panicked and changed the subject. I have slept with about 30 guys… I’m 25 years old. I’ve been dating since I was 15, having sex since I was 17 and with the occasional one night stand thrown in my number just grew. I know when it comes up again I will have to lie my ass off, but, how many is too many?
the number shouldn't matter as long as he loves you.
now that, that is out the way better of lying an keeping the number lower than his
if you want him to stick around guys are self concious and we worry if the ex had it bigger or f**Ked better and thats one guy. imangine compareing that with thirty other guys. plus evey time you guys get into a fight you might be giveing him amunition to throw it back in your face just lie it makes life simpler

---------- Post added at 03:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:09 PM ----------

plus evey time you guys get into a fight you might be giveing him amunition to throw it back in your face just lie it makes life simpler

Last edited by jaymoney; 09-30-2009 at 03:12 PM..
jaymoney is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 03:22 PM   #15 (permalink)
Here
 
World's King's Avatar
 
Location: Denver City Denver
Quote:
Originally Posted by wooÐs View Post
See I'm the same way. I lost count after 5 I think. Never bothered keeping a diary of my activity partners or some crap.
Oh see, I stopped counting after like 75...
__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown
World's King is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 03:27 PM   #16 (permalink)
Sitting in a tree
 
Location: Atlanta
Pretty sure I'm in my upper 40's, give or take. Not positive but it's a guesstimate.
wooÐs is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 03:30 PM   #17 (permalink)
Here
 
World's King's Avatar
 
Location: Denver City Denver
I'm more then likely over 150.
__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown
World's King is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 03:33 PM   #18 (permalink)
Sitting in a tree
 
Location: Atlanta
omg ur such a slut
wooÐs is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 03:37 PM   #19 (permalink)
Here
 
World's King's Avatar
 
Location: Denver City Denver
Yes. Yes I am. I'm good at it too.
__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown
World's King is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 03:40 PM   #20 (permalink)
Sitting in a tree
 
Location: Atlanta
lol
wooÐs is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 03:43 PM   #21 (permalink)
warrior bodhisattva
 
Baraka_Guru's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: East-central Canada
God I feel like such a monk.

I'm not sure one can put a figure on "too many." I think it's more about whether you're responsible about things: STDs, emotional issues, harming others' relationships, etc. That matters more, I think.

But it's not that I'm an authority. Relatively speaking (in reference to this thread), I've had very little sex.
__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot
Baraka_Guru is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 03:47 PM   #22 (permalink)
Minion of Joss
 
levite's Avatar
 
Location: The Windy City
I don't know if there's such a thing as "a" number that is 'too many.' It probably varies a lot from person to person, context to context. Tory, you should totally not lie to your BF, and not worry about your number being high. In my experience, women who are comparatively fearless about claiming their sexuality tend to have higher numbers than guys, just because they can. And in any case, best not to get hung up on numbers.

That said, IMHO, I think if your numbers are in the triple digits, you might have other issues you're sublimating with sex.... Not necessarily true of all, but...at that point, I'd question why so many partners instead of committed, exclusive relationships.

But that seems not to be an issue in your future, Tory, so I'd take a deep breath and just try not to sweat it.
__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)
levite is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 03:48 PM   #23 (permalink)
Upright
 
Tory's Avatar
 
Location: under the sea ;)..... no, Florida
how much is very little then? everyone?
Tory is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 03:48 PM   #24 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaymoney View Post
the number shouldn't matter as long as he loves you.
now that, that is out the way better of lying an keeping the number lower than his
if you want him to stick around guys are self concious and we worry if the ex had it bigger or f**Ked better and thats one guy. imangine compareing that with thirty other guys. plus evey time you guys get into a fight you might be giveing him amunition to throw it back in your face just lie it makes life simpler

---------- Post added at 03:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:09 PM ----------

plus evey time you guys get into a fight you might be giveing him amunition to throw it back in your face just lie it makes life simpler
This is disgusting advice ... I would never ever have someone lie like this. You are despicable jaymoney!!!!

Now that that is out of the way ... I agree. Lie. I mean this seriously.
Xerxys is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 04:31 PM   #25 (permalink)
Sober
 
GreyWolf's Avatar
 
Location: Eastern Canada
Are we talking at the same time?
__________________
The secret to great marksmanship is deciding what the target was AFTER you've shot.
GreyWolf is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 04:40 PM   #26 (permalink)
Here
 
World's King's Avatar
 
Location: Denver City Denver
Quote:
Originally Posted by GreyWolf View Post
Are we talking at the same time?
Yes. And I'm still at 150.
__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown
World's King is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 04:41 PM   #27 (permalink)
Extreme moderation
 
Toaster126's Avatar
 
Location: Kansas City, yo.
I'm way more concerned people think this is something to lie about rather than if a chick was sleeping with a thousand dudes before me. That is the exact thing you don't want to be doing.
__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)
Toaster126 is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 05:07 PM   #28 (permalink)
Degenerate
 
Aladdin Sane's Avatar
 
Location: San Marvelous
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tory View Post
My boyfriend and i were in bed yesterday and he told me i was the fourth girl he had ever slept with. I panicked and changed the subject. I have slept with about 30 guys… I’m 25 years old. I’ve been dating since I was 15, having sex since I was 17 and with the occasional one night stand thrown in my number just grew. I know when it comes up again I will have to lie my ass off, but, how many is too many?
Thirty guys?! You horny little minx.


Seriously, it depends on your guy. How secure is he? Will he freak or can he handle it?
In any case, don't lie, but you are not required to reveal the exact number either.
__________________
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.
Aladdin Sane is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 05:18 PM   #29 (permalink)
WHEEEE! Whee! Whee! WHEEEE!
 
FuglyStick's Avatar
 
Location: Southern Illinois
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toaster126 View Post
I'm way more concerned people think this is something to lie about rather than if a chick was sleeping with a thousand dudes before me. That is the exact thing you don't want to be doing.
I'm having sex with toaster's avatar right now.
__________________
AZIZ! LIGHT!
FuglyStick is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 05:30 PM   #30 (permalink)
Forming
 
Punk.of.Ages's Avatar
 
Location: ....a state of pure inebriation.
Numbers don't matter. Whether or not there's green fungus growing on your genitalia does.

I understand a lot of people don't see this issue the same way. That's why I make sure the "numbers" discussion doesn't come up until I know for sure the girl can handle the fact that my only answer is, "I lost count a while ago..."
__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike
Punk.of.Ages is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 05:50 PM   #31 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FuglyStick View Post
I'm having sex with toaster's avatar right now.
Question is, does she know about it?
Xerxys is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 10:16 PM   #32 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: nyc
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tory View Post
how much is very little then? everyone?
One less than his will be the perfect number let the man keep his pride

---------- Post added at 10:16 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:10 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xerxys View Post
This is disgusting advice ... I would never ever have someone lie like this. You are despicable jaymoney!!!!h

Now that that is out of the way ... I agree. Lie. I mean this seriously.
you want the truth you cant handle the truth lol
jaymoney is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 11:06 PM   #33 (permalink)
Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It!
 
Daniel_'s Avatar
 
Location: Southern England
30 in 10 years? Allowing for several being one night stands, that still leaves time for 90% of 10 years being chaste.

There is NO wrong number. If the number is high because you love sex and want to have it as variously as possible, then good for you.

The only problem is if you are ashamed of WHY you had sex, and in those cases even 1 is too many. If you were forced into it, if you were coerced, if you used it to validate self esteem issues, then maybe you need to fix those issues somehow, but none of that makes the number itself a problem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Punk.of.Ages View Post
Numbers don't matter. Whether or not there's green fungus growing on your genitalia does.

I understand a lot of people don't see this issue the same way. That's why I make sure the "numbers" discussion doesn't come up until I know for sure the girl can handle the fact that my only answer is, "I lost count a while ago..."
Is it only green, or is any fungus bad?
__________________
╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine

╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝
Daniel_ is offline  
Old 10-01-2009, 03:12 AM   #34 (permalink)
Une petite chou
 
noodle's Avatar
 
Location: With All Your Base
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toaster126 View Post
I'm way more concerned people think this is something to lie about rather than if a chick was sleeping with a thousand dudes before me. That is the exact thing you don't want to be doing.

What he said.
__________________
Here's how life works: you either get to ask for an apology or you get to shoot people. Not both. House

Quote:
Originally Posted by Plan9
Just realize that you're armed with smart but heavily outnumbered.
The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. Ayn Rand
noodle is offline  
Old 10-01-2009, 06:27 AM   #35 (permalink)
Upright
 
StephanieH's Avatar
 
Location: St Johns, Mi
There is no "magic number" But I learned that when your number is larger than his you have to be careful. Start by telling him you don't want to talk about how many partners you have had and assure him you were safe, etc. If he insists on knowing, first tell him your number is higher than his. You may be surprised, most guys don't care/mind/whatever, some are actually turned on by it. (my hubby likes to hear some of my naughty stories) If he MUST know, then tell him. DO NOT LIE. That's never good, even if you don't see the two of you lasting as a couple. You have noting to gain by, just be honest.
StephanieH is offline  
Old 10-01-2009, 06:49 AM   #36 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
Been thinking about this... and I think these responses are total crap.

Ya know, we're all so very forgiving. But I'm not afraid to be an asshole.

Me? I'd ditch a 25 year old woman that said she's banged 30 dudes.

That shows poor lifestyle choices even if the sex was "safer."

Assuming the sex started at 16, that means 3 dudes a year.

Somebody has relationship issues if their relationships last 4 months.

The problems is only worse if the person had several long terms.
__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."
Plan9 is offline  
Old 10-01-2009, 07:05 AM   #37 (permalink)
Soaring
 
PonyPotato's Avatar
 
Location: Ohio!
My "average" is 2 a year. This includes a few periods of one night stands and/or casual relationships. It also includes a few years of being totally chaste (i.e. my first two years of college).

I don't subscribe to the newsletter that says having one night stands or short relationships are "poor lifestyle choices." If I discover some major incompatibility or "dealbreaker" with someone I'm seeing just a couple months into a relationship.. it's over. Even if we've been having sex since two weeks in.

Just because you've had sex with someone does not mean you have sold your soul to them, nor does it mean you are obligated to pursue a long-term relationship with them. Sometimes sex is just that: sex. Casual, fun, and if not with someone you're already serious about.. it better involve a condom.
__________________
"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel
PonyPotato is offline  
Old 10-01-2009, 09:48 AM   #38 (permalink)
After School Special Moralist
 
Location: Large City, Texas.
Quote:
Originally Posted by StephanieH View Post
There is no "magic number" But I learned that when your number is larger than his you have to be careful. Start by telling him you don't want to talk about how many partners you have had and assure him you were safe, etc. If he insists on knowing, first tell him your number is higher than his. You may be surprised, most guys don't care/mind/whatever, some are actually turned on by it. (my hubby likes to hear some of my naughty stories) If he MUST know, then tell him. DO NOT LIE. That's never good, even if you don't see the two of you lasting as a couple. You have noting to gain by, just be honest.
I agree ^. Don't lie, but avoid the actual number unless he insists on knowing.

It will depend on his level of security. He might be fine with 30, or he might not. How well do you know your BF? How stable is your relationship?
__________________
In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow
Anormalguy is offline  
Old 10-01-2009, 02:22 PM   #39 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
Anonymous Sex ≠ Appropriate Salutation
__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."
Plan9 is offline  
Old 10-01-2009, 02:57 PM   #40 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Milnoc's Avatar
 
Location: Montreal
"Thirty-seven?!?"

Milnoc is offline  
 

Tags
partners, sexual

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 02:23 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360