Plan9

I'm still amazed that a woman would buy a man a Fleshlight. I guess that shows my inner dinosaur.

You kids and your new-fangled understanding and acceptance of human sexuality! Baaah, humbug.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

MSD

Sorry to pick on you, but it's all rooted in this myth. Male sexuality is what controls and drives him, female sexuality is something to put on a pedestal and defend or to be ashamed of. Sex toys for women are OK because millenia of male-dominated society was fought by feminism, creating both a celebration of female sexuality and a reactionary movement against that. Male sexuality is the same as it's always been, and it's still seen by many as a competition in which masturbating instead of going out and asserting it is emasculating.

Face it, after having enough food and water to survive, the next strongest instinct is to fuck. If it wasn't, there wouldn't be six billion of us, over 3.5 billion years after the first known life appeared on earth.

Plan9

How eloquent. My thoughts exactly.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Strange Famous

Ive never heard of this thing before, and it does strike me as a bit sleazy. I mean, if you dont use a wank sock, or a rubber johnny every time you use the thing, its gonna get abit messy inside.

I cant imagine it would feel like the real thing, I think it would just make me feel ridicolous, I'd just as soon as have a normal wank.

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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

yournamehere

Addressing these, in order:

Haven't really heard of those two terms (although I hope they're as fun as they sound), but yes - as I stated way earlier in the post, the cleanup is a bit off-putting (as is the preparation). You think staying awake to cuddle is tough? Try cleaning and drying a rubber sleeve, then powdering it with corn starch before you doze off!

Of course nothing is going to feel like the real thing - but it's pretty darn close.

What's a normal wank? Fist grip? One hand or two? Left hand or right? Underhand or overhand? Dry? With lube? Water-based or oil-based? Shaft or Head? Knuckle babies or kleenex? There are as many ways to masturbate as there are people.

I find it funny that this thread, in so many instances, boils down to two camps - the "whatever floats your boat" vs "that's why God gave us hands, dammit."

I think - and it's been said many times in this post - the longer the thing is around, the more acceptance it'll find.

I'm surprised the comments are so across the board here, though. There was a thread about this a few years ago that was full of glowing recommendations:
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-...leshlight.html

.

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If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.

hunnychile

What the Heck is a Rubber Johnny???

(See, this is yet another reason to love Strange Famous, he's so unique and has taught us Yanks sumthin' new almost daily!)

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yournamehere

That's why I had to respond - those were perhaps the most interesting two sentences I've read in a long time!

__________________
If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.

Strange Famous

a rubber johnny is a condom

a wank sock I guess is self explanatory - basically something that teenage lads sometimes use to save having to clean up the mess

As for having a wank two handed... Christ! Im ashamed to admit Ive only ever need to use one hand!

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

mixedmedia

Consumer Alert!
My boyfriend had a fleshlight and he said it fell apart - the latex or silicone lining came apart at the seams...take from that what you will.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Plan9

Pfft, tell him to stop using Ajax as a lubricant.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

yournamehere

Ashamed?
You must have one strong arm if you never have to switch hands!

__________________
If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.

Starkizzer

When my honey first bought one I was, well we will just say, less than pleased. But then one night he used it on himself while going down on me...it was A-M-A-ZING! I don't know how else to explain it other than he said it felt really good and going down on me was turning him on more and his licking and sucking reflected as such.

Hmmm I think we need to break it out again.

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Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey

DaniGirl

Well I don't think it is more sleazy, maybe more messy. A vibrator is probably a lot easier to clean.

Plan9

Say, could you can up your relationship and mail it over to me? I'm going to apply it to the next girl I go out on a meaningless date with so as to engage in the aforementioned hotness. I've been on a streak lately where the lame-ass girls don't even like receiving a generous tongue lashing. WTF, over?

Thanks.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Lucifer

This is just what I mean in the OP. Why is his buying a fleshlight somehow more offensive than you buying a vibrator?

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I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls.
- Job 30:29

1123, 6536, 5321

biznatch

I'm a dude, and I don't think I would use one. They're rather large, and do have that certain stigma, more so than a dildo. So I wouldn't want one standing tall on my PC desk.
But mainly, I'm perfectly satisfied with my hands.

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Check it out: The Open Source/Freeware/Gratis Software Thread

mixedmedia

I feel the same way about vibrators. Meh.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Starkizzer

Because the fleshlight is supposed to mimic a vagina or other orifice. Its almost like being replaced when in a relationship. I have a perfectly good vagina that is in full working order and is at his disposal any time.

Now as for vibes, nothing on him vibrates, so I am not replacing him with something that does the same thing he can. And while you may say that I could just as easily get my pleasure from his tongue, I say his tongue is not long enough to reach my clit while I am riding him cowgirl style. Enter vibrator! Does the job that I can't seem to get done with sex or fingers alone.

He can jerk off with his hands and get an orgasm...I am incapable of getting myself off with out his tongue or my handy dandy vibe. Thus while I do not think buying a fleshlight is more offensive than buying a vibe, it was a bit of a shock when one showed up and I was not told that it would be.

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Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey

Bear Cub

You know, Starkizzer brings up a good point.


It's women that perpetuate the sleazy stereotype. They know that if every guy had a fleshlight, we'd have no need for women. Ever.

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Living in the United Socialist States of America.

Baraka_Guru

I'd be less concerned about an "equal" substitute than I would about an item that could do something I could not.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Starkizzer

Yes, but my vibe can't kiss me or cuddle with me soo...fiance wins by a long shot. Plus nothing can replace him.

I think I should clarify that at the time he purchased it, not only did he not inform me of it first, but I was at a point in my life where I did not have good self esteem. I was at my heaviest and I was just in a bad place overall. My own insecurities (and I stress again that the problems were from my end) made me think that I was being replaced, I didn't understand why he would want to have anything to do with me.

Though now thinking back to the time when he purchased me my first vibrator and dildo, I was a little taken a back by that act as well. Guess I just don't take surprises well.

Oh and I like to poke the fleshlight it feels really cool. Though hes used it like 10 times and now it sits in our closet unused except for the times I want to poke it...

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Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey

Plan9

***ERRRRRRR*** Sorry, would you like to phone a friend?

This is the single biggest cause of and symptom in Typical Relationship Problems (TM).

Sex is far too often a weaponized commodity.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

MSD

And for some reason, people seem to think it's a zero-sum game. I go down on her twice, she owes me 3 BJs. She agrees to try anal, I have to let her peg me. Even somewhere as allegedly progressive, open-minded, and enlightened as TFP, this kind of stuff is still pervasive.

Starkizzer

Don't read so much into that one phrase of words. Simply a knee jerk reaction to an unexpected purchase. Aside from a few sex toys that were gifts between us, all sex toys have been discussed and purchased together. Plus I already explained and took full claim of my state of mind at the time, which btw was 3yrs ago.

No phoning a friend for me, so I still have all my life lines.

Honestly, I think they need to make stress relief balls out of the material that the fleshlights are made out of. They feel really awesome, and now that I have had the chance to poke and play with one first hand I know why guys like them...hell dildos don't feel as nice. Granted the "flashlight" cover does nothing but draw more attention.

__________________
Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey

Shaindra

I agree. Only in my relationships it's usually him withholding.

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"Never regret something that once made you smile."

MonicaCo

I have no problem with masturbation since I own one of those clitoral vibrators myself but I would never buy my bf a fleshlight. Don't know why but if I buy a sextoy it should be something we both can have fun with.

G5_Todd

i dont think its any more sleazy....

i would laugh just as hard if i found a vibrator at a female friends house as I would if I found a fleshlight at a male friends house...

its not wrong i would just think it was funny if i saw it

__________________
"....and when you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy."

-General Franks

Plan9

Yeaaah... you're doing it wrong. You have the commodity. If he doesn't want it, someone else will gladly do a wide range of things to get it.

...

Alright, this kinda attitude really gets me miffed. The one-sided (or two sided, perhaps) crotch lockdown is fucking ridiculous.

Example: You're a guy in a relationship. Your female partner doesn't want you to masturbate unless she's there or doesn't want you to masturbate period... the only masturbation you're going to be doing, buddy, is when you're using her body. And your female partner? She doesn't masturbate unless you're fucking her or perhaps at all anymore. Since she gets all-serving The Cock, why would she possibly need to engage in self love? Right? Total shameful 1940s housewife logic. It isn't about pleasure, it's about control.

Silly. It's like mentally putting your dick in handcuffs and giving the key to your bitch partner.

...

When I'm in a relationship... I'm going to masturbate. All the time. She'll be at work, I'll be at work... she'll send a naughty email and I'll need to bludgeon the Crompbat down to manageable size before the presentation or heading out to lunch. I'll be thinking about my partner or I'll be spanking it to an adult entertainer I wouldn't give the time of day to in an attempt to avoid acquiring an STD, but it doesn't matter because my loyalties lie with my partner. I'm not shoving a stiffy in a Craigslist hookup. Turns out masturbation is fantasy and release. I'd expect my partner to do the same. If my partner is incapable of enjoying fantasy and experiencing release... there are bigger issues than sexual compatibility at play here.

Relationships joined at the hip don't work. Relationships joined at the crotch especially don't work.

...

I get the feeling a lot more people operate like that than will admit to it. And they wonder why they're unhappy with their sex lives.

Fight the power. Masturbate constantly.

/nonsense post

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

biznatch

You know vibrators don't do much for guys. Some women like to use them while having sex, to stimulate the clitoris, and that's fine. Who wouldn't want their pleasure-nub rocked at 20+Hz?

For us, they're usually a piece of hard plastic that kind of gets in the way and pokes us in the belly when we thrust in. And it's loud.

Don't get me wrong, I love seeing a woman having an amazing time when she's with me, and I'd love to try it with those fingertip vibrators, but vibrators don't add more fun to sex than any other sex toy, if the mood is right and if both people are having fun.

Trust me, between a plastic sleeve and a woman, we're not gonna ever replace real sex with you for a fleshlight. Let him have his fun when you can't have fun together.

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Check it out: The Open Source/Freeware/Gratis Software Thread

purplelirpa

The idea of male masturbation really turns me on, so I think that colors my opinion of the fleshlight. My guy doesn't seem that interested in getting a fleshlight, I felt like a weirdo for getting all excited when I discovered it. I called him in and was pointing to all the different configurations he could have. His reply:

"Why do I need that when I have you?"

Because it's freaking awesome, that's why.

He did happen to see a commercial about The Egg recently, and now wants one of those. I'd rather get him a clear fleshlight. I'd really like to watch it moving through there.