Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Sexuality


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-25-2009, 07:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
I have eaten the slaw
 
inBOIL's Avatar
 
Dating while unemployed

A question for the men: how would you feel about dating when you don't have a job?

For me, it would be awkward; I'd feel like I have no business pursuing a relationship if I don't have my shit together in regards to supporting myself.
__________________
And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.
inBOIL is offline  
Old 03-25-2009, 07:37 PM   #2 (permalink)
Dopefish
 
wraithhibn's Avatar
 
Location: the 'Ville
I was recently laid-off and my gf gives me a lot of shit about finding a job and not being worthless, but as long as I'm actively seeking employment she doesn't care.
__________________
If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
wraithhibn is offline  
Old 03-25-2009, 08:02 PM   #3 (permalink)
Custom User Title
 
Craven Morehead's Avatar
 
Good question, since I lost my job at the beginning of the month. If I can figure out how to date without my wife finding out, I'll let you know.
Craven Morehead is offline  
Old 03-25-2009, 08:39 PM   #4 (permalink)
More Than You Expect
 
Manic_Skafe's Avatar
 
Location: Queens
I think it's more of a matter of why you were laid off than the fact that you're jobless. If you were terminated for laziness or idiocy then you've got more pressing issues than being single. But if you were let go through no fault of your own then it's excusable so long as you're working towards putting yourself in a better position.

But it's pretty awkward in either case and it really isn't anyone's business but your own. Definitely wouldn't be the first thing I'd say after introducing myself.
__________________
"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian
Manic_Skafe is offline  
Old 03-25-2009, 09:34 PM   #5 (permalink)
Forming
 
Punk.of.Ages's Avatar
 
Location: ....a state of pure inebriation.
Street punk chicks couldn't give a shit less whether you have a job or not...
__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike
Punk.of.Ages is offline  
Old 03-26-2009, 03:23 AM   #6 (permalink)
Junkie
 
SabrinaFair's Avatar
 
Location: Louisville, KY
I'm in school and only work part time, which is enough to meet my expenses but doesn't leave a lot left over. Even though I'm a woman, I feel a bit awkward about dating when I can't often offer to pitch in or pick up the tab. I don't feel like I should suggest we do something unless I can pay for it. If he asks *me* to do something I feel a little less weird about it. Besides, I pride myself on being self-reliant.
__________________
"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
-Desiderata
SabrinaFair is offline  
Old 03-26-2009, 03:48 AM   #7 (permalink)
Darth Papa
 
ratbastid's Avatar
 
Location: Yonder
I think as long as you're in action about it, rather than being a couchlump, you've still got something going for you.
ratbastid is offline  
Old 03-26-2009, 06:13 AM   #8 (permalink)
MSD
The sky calls to us ...
 
MSD's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: CT
I'm employed and I can't afford to take anyone out on a date
MSD is offline  
Old 03-26-2009, 06:44 AM   #9 (permalink)
Eat your vegetables
 
genuinegirly's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Arabidopsis-ville
I focused on friendships, not dating, while jobless. Less pressure to pay for things, more opportunity to get to know people. I've never been jobless for long. Seems like you'd have a few people excited about the idea of going on a date by the time you have the money. Then again, I'm only fond of dating men who are already friends whom I know I can trust. If you don't have my same trust standards, and disagree with the concept of dating friends, then this will not likely work for you.
__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy
genuinegirly is offline  
Old 03-26-2009, 06:45 AM   #10 (permalink)
Currently sour but formerly Dlishs
 
dlish's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Australia/UAE
just because you're laid off, it doesnt mean you cant get laid!

i say go get em!

depends on the type of relationship you are pursuing i guess. but if its a serious one, some women may want someone with a bit more security than someone who doesnt have a current job.

her - "so what do you do?"
you - "i play playstation all day because i dont have a job"

real relationship killer!
__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy
dlish is offline  
Old 03-26-2009, 07:09 AM   #11 (permalink)
Eat your vegetables
 
genuinegirly's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Arabidopsis-ville
Quote:
Originally Posted by dlish View Post
...

her - "so what do you do?"
you - "i play playstation all day because i dont have a job"

real relationship killer!
Alternative conversation:
her - "so what do you do?"
you- "I tinker with computers (ie- surf the net all day). I'm not very good at it. Hey, want to go for a walk in the park? I hear the sunset is beautiful over the lake."
__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy
genuinegirly is offline  
Old 03-26-2009, 09:14 AM   #12 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
Willravel's Avatar
 
I'd absolutely not seek out actively or passively a new relationship when I was unemployed. While I'm very responsible with prophylactics, there's always a chance of pregnancy and there's no way I'm going to be unemployed trying to support a family.

If I were in a relationship, I'd probably back off a bit until I was gainfully employed again. I'd not end the relationship or anything, but we'd have to stop vaginal intercourse and I'd probably be spending 12 hours a day, 7 days a week looking for employment which means less time together. My hope is that my SO would be understanding and let my insane, single-minded tenacity take over for a bit so that things could eventually go back to normal.
Willravel is offline  
Old 04-03-2009, 09:51 AM   #13 (permalink)
Here
 
World's King's Avatar
 
Location: Denver City Denver
I still seem to pull a ton of ass while unemployed.



It also helps to get the girl really drunk before you tell them you're unemployed.
__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown
World's King is offline  
Old 04-03-2009, 11:03 AM   #14 (permalink)
Currently sour but formerly Dlishs
 
dlish's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Australia/UAE
Quote:
Originally Posted by genuinegirly View Post
Alternative conversation:
her - "so what do you do?"
you- "I tinker with computers (ie- surf the net all day). I'm not very good at it. Hey, want to go for a walk in the park? I hear the sunset is beautiful over the lake."
yeah exactly GG..change the topic!

she'll find out at some point. you cant be vague forever.. females are curious creatures!
__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy
dlish is offline  
Old 04-03-2009, 11:34 AM   #15 (permalink)
Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator.
 
SSJTWIZTA's Avatar
 
Location: Windiwana
Quote:
Originally Posted by Punk.of.Ages View Post
Street punk chicks couldn't give a shit less whether you have a job or not...
you beat me too it, man.

i like it better this way, you know they arent in it just to clean out your wallet or get a free dinner.
__________________
First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller
SSJTWIZTA is offline  
Old 04-03-2009, 11:55 AM   #16 (permalink)
warrior bodhisattva
 
Baraka_Guru's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: East-central Canada
On the other hand, there are also self-made women out there who don't mind.

As long as you keep yourself novel, you'll keep yourself kept.
__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot
Baraka_Guru is offline  
Old 04-03-2009, 12:15 PM   #17 (permalink)
follower of the child's crusade?
 
I'd like to think it wouldnt make a difference, but Ive worked the same job since straight after college - so Ive never really been unemployed... even when I was claiming the dole for a month before my first job I was doing a bit of cash in hand at a warehouse and so on.
__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas
Strange Famous is offline  
Old 04-04-2009, 09:45 PM   #18 (permalink)
Insane
 
FelixP's Avatar
 
Location: I'm up they see me I'm down.
Quote:
Originally Posted by genuinegirly View Post
Then again, I'm only fond of dating men who are already friends whom I know I can trust. If you don't have my same trust standards, and disagree with the concept of dating friends, then this will not likely work for you.
Hmm...so if I guy is interested in you he should TRY to get caught in the friend zone. That's gotta be a first.
__________________
Free will lies not in the ability to craft your own fate, but in not knowing what your fate is. --Me

"I have just returned from visting the Marines at the front, and there is not a finer fighting organization in the world." --Douglas MacArthur
FelixP is offline  
Old 04-04-2009, 10:58 PM   #19 (permalink)
Crazy
 
bloody_rose20's Avatar
 
Location: In Vermont
Alright, my man is currently jobless...has been for a few months now. And, honestly I don't care that he doesn't have a job. We have just barely started dating almost a month ago, and its been working so far. I mean, he has a big problem with not being able to take me out often or buy me gifts here and there, but its not important to me for my man to have money. I am very capable of supporting myself. I just like spending time with him, and I don't always need to spend money to do that anyways. I never got the big deal about guys needing to have money. Or a good job. *shrugs* If I like the guy, its not going to matter what he does, or how much (or little) he gets paid. So its possible to date while being unemployed, you just have to find the right chick to go out with lol.
__________________
"The only way to enjoy life, is to try different things, and take risks. Sometimes you just have to jump in with both feet and hope for the best "
bloody_rose20 is offline  
Old 04-04-2009, 11:08 PM   #20 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willravel View Post
I'd absolutely not seek out actively or passively a new relationship when I was unemployed. While I'm very responsible with prophylactics, there's always a chance of pregnancy and there's no way I'm going to be unemployed trying to support a family.

If I were in a relationship, I'd probably back off a bit until I was gainfully employed again. I'd not end the relationship or anything, but we'd have to stop vaginal intercourse and I'd probably be spending 12 hours a day, 7 days a week looking for employment which means less time together. My hope is that my SO would be understanding and let my insane, single-minded tenacity take over for a bit so that things could eventually go back to normal.
Whoa... hey... day-um. Patrick Bateman with a conscience.

...

OP: I'm a "full time plus" college student, which is kind of like being unemployed... with a small-but-powerful vacuum cleaner attached to your wallet.

I've had all sorts of dating issues. Not a lot of women approve of my "life progress time line" position. Understandable.

They can find a younger guy with a grad degree who's prime pickings to settle down in suburbia. I'm factory seconds.
__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."
Plan9 is offline  
Old 04-14-2009, 09:59 PM   #21 (permalink)
Upright
 
Ive never had any shame in wanting to get my rocks off. I showered, I shaved, lets do this .
NorthernGirl is offline  
Old 04-14-2009, 10:03 PM   #22 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernGirl View Post
I've never had any shame in wanting to get my rocks off. I showered, I shaved, let's do this.
...and this totally sounds like something a man would say.

Like those quaint T-shirts that declare: "I shaved my balls for this?!"

...

I usually buy dinner and talk for several hours. If I'm lucky I get make-outs in the parking lot.

I think when you reach a certain age dating becomes more of a partner selection process game.

Subtle interviews. People don't waste as much time when they get close to their 30s.

They expect you to have an education, a career (not a job), a giant throbbing hard-on.

Ya know, adult stuff.

Whatever that is.
__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Last edited by Plan9; 04-14-2009 at 10:06 PM..
Plan9 is offline  
Old 04-14-2009, 10:27 PM   #23 (permalink)
Addict
 
mandy's Avatar
 
Location: Port Elizabeth, South Africa
Try being unemployed and married i just recently lost my job and when i got my last pay check all i could think was that hopefully this would get me through keeping up my end of the responsibilities of running the household for at least two months...but what happens after that if i havent found a job yet in that time. How am I going to hold up my end of the bargain?

I think as long as you're not sitting and loafing around and you're actually doing something about it is cool. it may even get you some sympathy from a girl who actually understands that you losing your job doesnt make you any less of a person. Dont go outright blurting it out that you dont have a job but should the question " so, what do you do?" arise, you could answer with, " well i used to do ........... but currently i am in the world of the unemployed, I would like to do .............. however but still looking for new employment to tide me over until i can actually do what i really want to"

People can never fault you for trying.
__________________
The Imagination equips us to see a reality we have yet to create
mandy is offline  
Old 04-14-2009, 11:33 PM   #24 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Shaindra's Avatar
 
Location: Massachusetts
I've dated unemployed guys. I've even made out with them in the parking lot after paying for half of my dinner. What can I say, I'm not a golddigger. I make my own healthy living and I'm not looking for a meal ticket. However, if someone seemed a little too comfortable with the time off, or it seemed like a not uncommon situation, I probably wouldn't be pursuing a long-term relationship. I don't need to carry my ass and his too.
__________________
"Never regret something that once made you smile."
Shaindra is offline  
Old 04-15-2009, 07:58 AM   #25 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaindra View Post
I've even made out with them in the parking lot after paying for half of my dinner.
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."
Plan9 is offline  
Old 04-15-2009, 08:32 AM   #26 (permalink)
You had me at hello
 
Poppinjay's Avatar
 
Location: DC/Coastal VA
heh, yeah. Where we're you when the 91 Recession was on? Probably 12. And now I'm being arrested.

Seriously, I'm statiscally unemployed and married. My severance ends in two months (I was really overpriced for my market) and I'm walking dogs for as much as I made as a major market broadcaster. I'd rather have fun with these dogs than worry about the bullshit ABC, CBS, or NBC (not to consider the ethnic hubris the Fox bastards) pay.

It may be just my industry, and I've always felt that I make way more than I should, but leave the ego at the door. Pick up people's trash. Mow their yard. It can pay.

Otherwise, if you're wondering why you are losing a partner to an unemployed git, it's because he has initiative and is getting the job done. Or maybe an oversized penis, in which case he has a job in the porn industry.
__________________
I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet
Poppinjay is offline  
Old 04-15-2009, 11:58 AM   #27 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Shaindra's Avatar
 
Location: Massachusetts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crompsin View Post
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
Oh? is there a question from the audience?


(Yeesh, he ignores the haiku about sucking his dick and responds to this. Odd man.)
__________________
"Never regret something that once made you smile."
Shaindra is offline  
Old 04-15-2009, 12:01 PM   #28 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
Newflash: I don't have a dick.

...

Yeah, I was pointing out the "making out after you pay for your own dinner" thing.

I assume you don't do the Dutch 50/50 thing very often, which I feel is a good policy for first dates.

Both parties walk away feeling equal and it doesn't create the food-for-blowjob atmosphere some imagine.
__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."
Plan9 is offline  
Old 04-15-2009, 12:43 PM   #29 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Shaindra's Avatar
 
Location: Massachusetts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crompsin View Post
Newflash: I don't have a dick.

...

Yeah, I was pointing out the "making out after you pay for your own dinner" thing.

I assume you don't do the Dutch 50/50 thing very often, which I feel is a good policy for first dates.

Both parties walk away feeling equal and it doesn't create the food-for-blowjob atmosphere some imagine.
Honestly? If I insist on going dutch with someone, it's because I don't feel there is much of a future there. If I think there is potential, I tepidly offer to go dutch, and see what he does. Sad to say, I've never had a good experience with a guy who takes me up on that tepid offer.

No dick? Oh right...four foot, with tentacles.
__________________
"Never regret something that once made you smile."
Shaindra is offline  
 

Tags
dating, unemployed

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:11 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360