Atreides88

A friend of mine and I were talking the other day about dating somebody of a different ethnicity than ourselves, specifically thinking about how our families and friends would respond. I personally wouldn't mind dating someone of a different race but I'm pretty sure my parents would be up in arms about my dating anyone non-white, especially if I married this girl and had kids. I have no idea how my friends would respond.

What say you TFP? Would you be against dating inter-racially and how do you think your family and friends would react?

__________________
"There is no need to suppose that human beings differ very much one from another: but it is true that the ones who come out on top are the ones who have been trained in the hardest school." -- Thucydides

cdwonderful

love is love. And if you are lucky enough to find it, it should matter little whether they are black, white, asian or tobogo islander.....
nuff said.

__________________
Never try to teach a pig to whistle
it wastes your time,
and annoys the pig.....

LoganSnake

I'm white. Had an asian girlfriend. My family didn't care as long as I was happy.

__________________
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

KirStang

Different parents have different views. In my experience, there's a hierarchy of races, and certain races are less acceptable to parents than others.

Honestly, in this day and age it isn't a big deal, but there'll always be a couple of people who don't like it, and the majority probably don't care.

If the day comes that my child dates someone of another race, I'll probably focus more on his/her temperament and background more-so than his/her race.

genuinegirly

Any difference that matters to your family can make an impact.
I married a white male. I am a white female.
My husband is Catholic. I was raised Mormon.
Parents took some time to get over this religious hangup.

Parents love you pretty much no matter what.
Friends should do the same.
Stereotypes are meant to be shattered.
Don't destroy a good thing by worrying what family and/or friends will think.

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Fotzlid

I am white, she is Filipino. My family fully accepted her as a member. Some days I think my folks like her more than me.

My "friends" were another story. Within a few months of starting to date her, I lost all contact with just about all of them. I always knew they talked trash about other races but it stunned me initially when they cut me out. Obviously no big loss on my part.

telekinetic

I'm white, she's mostly Navajo. I never realized for a long time (like, after we were married) that we were an 'interracial couple'...just that she was hot!

__________________
twisted no more

Cynthetiq

Catholic married to a jew. Filipino married to a white girl.

so what?

we get more looks from other ethnicities than from either of our parents.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Xerxys

GASPS!!!




We must ostracize you ... you ... you ... you bad person you ... must make you into an outcast!!!

Seriously, I absolutely have no idea why some things can not be looked past. The thing is, I don't get this from just my parents but most of the people I used to conisder friends. I think I have grown up a bit to have severed contact with those idiots.

When will some people realize that you can never know someone simply by their race?!

snowy

My parents and family wouldn't bat an eye, and it wouldn't make a difference to me one way or the other.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Shaindra

I've dated blacks, bi-racial men, hispanics and Indians. It's a big, liberal city. Nobody batted an eyelash at me. Inter-racial couples aren't even worth comment about here and the kids are universally acknowledged as gorgeous.

My parents, on the other hand, not so thrilled.

__________________
"Never regret something that once made you smile."

new man

Dating would be fine. My personal issue is that if I had kids, I would want them to look like me. I have yet to see a biracial child that looks like the white parent. It shouldn't bug my supposedly enlightened self, but it would. For us rational empiricists, our children are our only shot at immortality, so carry on the family resemblance. I don't know, maybe if I had mixed kids the scales would fall away from my eyes, but that is how I feel now.

What if you had a sperm donation, and they gave you the wrong sample? Husband's impotent, they secretly get pregant through clinic, and the baby is the wrong color?

Martian

I've never dated someone who wasn't white, but I'm not opposed to the idea per se. At this point Magpie might be, but if we ignore that aspect (ie if hypothetically I were single) I don't think such things would matter.

The content of a person's character is much more important than the colour of their skin.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

spindles

Personally I don't have anything against such relationships but (even if I wasn't married), I think I'd be unlikely to have one myself. I just am attracted to white girls more than others. I can't say it would never happen, but I'm yet to meet to many non-whites that I'm hugely attracted to.

__________________
who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

777

I had a thing for asian girls until I dated one in high school.

And I'm latino, which isn't unusual for asians and latinos to date out in the East Los Angeles area, since that's all that's out here. Actually, it's hard to find white people in that area

__________________
"I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip."

Roger Zelazny

Xerxys

new man, you want pics? I can show you a family so large that I believe I am somehow related to all races possible.

Cynthetiq

yeah, they were in all the areas that I grew up in, the SFV and further north and west.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

LoganSnake

When I was dating the asian, when we were at China Town, we got so many looks (mostly negative) from the asians there it was ridiculous. She actually felt bad and wondered if it bothered me. It didn't. Screw them.

__________________
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

little_tippler

there is a difference when you say race and ethnicity. For example, I am Portuguese, of latin heritage, but I would not call myself a 'Latina'. But then I am of Portuguese origin, so ethnically, I am bound to the group of people who share my heritage. So I am in a way a 'latina'. Would this be more relating to Spanish-speaking people? I would tell you I'm white-skinned, which I suppose is, in part, my race. Race encompasses more biological inherited features, whereas ethnicity encompasses culture and belief systems.

So, when asked about inter-racial relationships, my first reaction is, I have never been in one. But if I were to be considered 'latina', then I have dated many 'white' guys. It's almost funny to think about.

Basically, this never crosses my mind . I can say that I have been attracted to men of other ethnicities and races in my life. Doesn't bother me. Could happen one day. But generally I am more often attracted to white men.

I have no idea how my mom would react. She might not expect it I guess, but she'd be ok with it I think.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

dlish

i always said that when i marry my polygamous 2nd 3rd and 4th wives, they'd have to all be of different ethnicities. one asian, one anglo and one i havent decided yet.

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Daniel_

I'm a Southerner, and I married a Geordie - does that count as inter-racial?

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

MSD

I have not problem with it, and I'm pretty sure my mom would outwardly approve while concealing the fact that she felt uneasy about it until she got over it. She grew up in a different time, and while she's smart and educated, ingrained things are hard to get rid of, but she can consciously overcome it. I'm pretty sure some people in my extended family would silently disapprove of me with a black girl, but to be perfectly honest, their opinions are in the hierarchy of things I give a shit about just below what my broken Magic 8-Ball says.

dlish

geordie=someone from newcastle right?

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

cdwonderful

huh?

__________________
Never try to teach a pig to whistle
it wastes your time,
and annoys the pig.....

Cimarron29414

I have a good friend who is white and is a quadrapalegic (might be misspelled, to lazy to care). He was dating a black girl pretty seriously and wanted to marry her. He went to meet her parents to progress the relationship. Her parents pitched a royal fit over her choice - not because she would spend the rest of her life helping care for a disabled person....but because he was white. She broke it off shortly there after. Really sad.

__________________
Gives a man a halo, does mead.

"Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

highthief

Well, my wife is half Chinese and half German, she's gorgeous, and we have a beautiful child who is obviously mixed race as well.

I don't understand folks who won't date someone of another ethnicity (or religion for that matter). Why cut yourself off from the billions of opportunities in the world?

---------- Post added at 04:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:10 PM ----------

Yup. And the Geordies are much nicer than those nasty southerners!

__________________
Si vis pacem parabellum.

LoganSnake

It's one thing to not date a person of another race purely because they are of another race than it is to simply be not attracted to a particular skin color and/or physical features.

I'm not attracted to very dark skin and African features at all. However, tanned looking girls with european facial features can be quite hot. Serena Williams? No thanks. Christina Milian? Yes, please!

__________________
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

spindles

Martian perhaps? (as in from Mars/outer space)?

__________________
who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

blar

the only problem I have with interracial relationships is the people that like/ date other of a certain race because of some sort of obsession, "fetish", status etc etc

liek the person for who they are not what they are.....too much times I have seen people turn down someone because they are not the race they want....

---------- Post added at 05:00 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:57 PM ----------

yea....that is very common where I live

if you are not korean, japannese or chinese and are dating one your dating life will turn into a Zoo exhbit where ever you go

cdwonderful

now thats inscrutable.....

__________________
Never try to teach a pig to whistle
it wastes your time,
and annoys the pig.....

dlish

anything of the female species is a candidate... blue, green, pink..does it really matter?

i have no issues with interracial relationships. it does become an issue with arab families a lot though. even arabs marrying non arabs, or lebanese marry lebanese are issues depending of where you come from. lebanese are racist against their own people.

its a strange world we have

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Xerxys

Please sir, correct this statement and right my foothold on reality. Failure to do so will have catastrophic results on my imagination.

ItWasMe

We have many inter-racial marriages in our family. So many, that if any family member does object, they are probably afraid to open their mouth to protest. That would be a quick way to be 'forgotten' around here when the next family potluck invites get mailed. I know they wouldn't be on my guest list.

__________________
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .


"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

SabrinaFair

I personally have no problem with interracial dating/relationships/sex/whatever. My parents would accept it if I brought home someone of a different race, although I can imagine they might not be thrilled. My extended family, on the other hand....yeah, they'd have a problem with it. My grandparents in particular have a problem with anyone who's not white straight Protestant, which is why they've not been informed that my brother is gay and I'm dating a Jew. I'm not close with my extended family, though, so their approval has no bearing on my decisions.

__________________
"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
-Desiderata

Dawolf13

Being from toronto where everyone seems to come from everywhere but toronto, I have ended up dating a persian girl (me being white). Both our families are cool with it.

Esoteric

Doesn't matter to me, and I know it wouldn't to my family either.

__________________
From a head full of pressure rests the senses that I clutch
Made a date with Divinity, but she wouldn't let me fuck
I got touched by a hazy shaded, God help me change
Caught a rush on the floor from the life in my veins

Leto

so... Persians are white. I think (as Little tippler stated) that people get more often hung up on ethnic (in this case Persian or Iranian) differences than the obvious racial (Persians, Europeans, Arabs/Israelis, Latinos, etc all being Caucasian) differences that come about when the three traditional racial types comingle.

I am Caucasian, (German/Scottish background) married to an Oriental girl (Han / Chinese) with three sons. At first there was more resistance from her side with the racial admixture, as my side of the family was already jaded by the ethnic mixing of british/german ethnicities. But her family is well onside now, and 2 more daughter married Caucasion as well. My friends? Well, being from Toronto, they could care less, as this city is a city of mixtures...

__________________
You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey
And I never saw someone say that before
You held my hand and we walked home the long way
You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr

http://dune.wikia.com/wiki/Leto_Atreides_I

belle_enigma

__________

duskytip

This is about you and your happiness. Stop thinking about what your parents want and start focusing on your happiness. The rest will settle itself out.

blar

I am from toronto as well

from your location I am guessing you live downtown if you goto to markham or richmond hill etc etc OMG the looks one gets get he is with a chinese or korean girl