Getting over it... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

mistic84 · 07-02-2003, 01:32 AM

I recently just broke up with my first bf. Any advice on getting over him so I can start being myself again?

Slims · 07-02-2003, 01:36 AM

Just know that life goes on, and eventually he will be just a fond memory.

It might also help to go meet other people. I don't mean you need to go jump into bed with a stranger, only that socializing often helps you get perspective on the situation...you will realize that there are other people out there.

Oh, and get a bunch of your friends together, get drunk, and bitch for an evening.

Whenever one of my lady friends has a bad break up, I give them ice cream. It really does seem to help. It's a comfort food.

bermuDa · 07-02-2003, 01:41 AM

time heals all wounds, and guys aren't worth crying over unless they got blood on your parachute you lent them when it didn't open.

*Nikki* · 07-02-2003, 05:53 AM

Everybody told me "time heals all wounds" when this happened to me. It is true, it really does. I went through emotional hell and recovered quite nicely in a short amount of time.
Occupy yourself with as much as you can. Friends, Family, etc; Do something new you never would have thought you could do....take a class, get a new hobby, go to the gym!!

StormBerlin · 07-31-2003, 11:50 PM

Take a small trip somewhere. When my first serious bf and I broke up, I stayed a month in another state with my sis and was as good as new when i got back (a few weeks later). then, you dont have to worry about running into him, calling him...etc...

aeturnum · 08-01-2003, 01:21 AM

I would give the advice everyone else has - just keep on going with your life. One thing to try is concentrate on the rest of your life, trying not to think about your ex, eventually you just fall back into life and things generally get back to normal.

maximus · 08-01-2003, 03:37 AM

i am sorry to say that time does not heal all wounds. if the person was just some hookup or even a serious partner, but not the one, you will eventually stop being numb. when you find that person that completes you, and they leave, good luck on time healing that. the person that completed me broke up with me in may, 2 weeks before our 3 year aniversary. this has been the worst summer of my life and i really do not see an end to the trend in the future. what is the point of looking to the future if the one thing that you cherish the most in life is gone? that thing that made life worthwile, a reason to get up in the morning. the numbness still feels like it did the day that she ended it....

tikki · 08-02-2003, 02:36 PM

Head to the gym and take your anger, frustration, hurt, and other emotions out in a productive and fun way: exercise

lurkette · 08-02-2003, 02:53 PM

Take some time to grieve the loss of the relationship. Don't just ignore that you feel bad - but know that eventually, you will feel okay again. When you feel ready, do things to move outside yourself - distract yourself with movies, books, friends, exercise, travel.

aintyoboyfriend · 08-02-2003, 03:24 PM

Definitely try to move on. keep yourself busy so that you don't think too much about him, and try to rid yourself of any reminders, not permanently, but just temporarily, until you feel strong enough. Take up a new hobby, get in touch with old friends you haven't talked to in a while. Everyday you will start to feel better, and it will hurt a little less, until finally it doesn't hurt at all.

08-02-2003, 03:33 PM

I'd of course say you need to move on, but take the extra time you have now to get to know yourself. Often it's hard to see yourself as a single person when you've been assimilated into a couple.

And hell - browse the XXX threads on the titty board so your full of new ideas when you set yourself loose on the male population. We'll thank you for it.

striderkevin · 08-03-2003, 07:04 PM

There are some things that one must just deal with and move on. There is really no use in dwelling in the past, all it does is just tear you up. Moving on may be the hardest thing to do, but the most important thing is to not lose sight of yourself.

Amano · 08-03-2003, 11:43 PM

maximus, I went through a similar situation. My first gf, of almost 2 and a half years broke up with me in may of last year, two days before my birthday. I was really messed up that summer... feeling all depressed and suicidal. Things gradually got mildly better, but I didn't fully recover until around January... that's more than 6 months. They say that a good rule of thumb is that it takes half the duration of the relationship to get over it. Don't let that limit you, and don't force yourself to stick to it but just let it be a reminder that yeah, breakups suck, and yeah it can take a long time to get over them.

On a side note, I seem to be experiencing deja vu, because the girl I met and fell in love with in february broke up with me about a month ago... and I'm still trying to get over it now. I'm not feeling as bad as I was last summer, but dammnit, summers really f'ing suck

im just a girl · 08-04-2003, 08:47 PM

I have found that the best way to get over a guy is to make sure you erase everything you still have of theirs... including things like pictures, their screen name, and telephone number. You may be tempted to keep them for sentimental value, but all thats going to happen is that you'll com across is and suddenly remember all the 'great times' you had. By wiping reminders of them away, you're literally helping yourself to forget them.

parlorforsvin · 08-05-2003, 12:14 PM

That's... brutal, I'm just a girl. Though it might work... Unless you're like me whowould remember it even more then.

07-02-2003, 01:32 AM	#1 (permalink)
mistic84 Upright Location: Texas	Getting over it... I recently just broke up with my first bf. Any advice on getting over him so I can start being myself again?

07-02-2003, 01:36 AM	#2 (permalink)
Slims Eccentric insomniac Location: North Carolina	Just know that life goes on, and eventually he will be just a fond memory. It might also help to go meet other people. I don't mean you need to go jump into bed with a stranger, only that socializing often helps you get perspective on the situation...you will realize that there are other people out there. Oh, and get a bunch of your friends together, get drunk, and bitch for an evening. Whenever one of my lady friends has a bad break up, I give them ice cream. It really does seem to help. It's a comfort food. __________________ "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence Last edited by Slims; 07-02-2003 at 01:41 AM..

07-02-2003, 01:41 AM	#3 (permalink)
bermuDa don't ignore this--> Location: CA	time heals all wounds, and guys aren't worth crying over unless they got blood on your parachute you lent them when it didn't open. __________________ I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.

07-31-2003, 11:50 PM	#5 (permalink)
StormBerlin Happy as a hippo Location: Southern California	Take a small trip somewhere. When my first serious bf and I broke up, I stayed a month in another state with my sis and was as good as new when i got back (a few weeks later). then, you dont have to worry about running into him, calling him...etc... __________________ "if anal sex could get a girl pregnant i'd be tits deep in child support" Arcane

08-01-2003, 03:37 AM	#7 (permalink)
maximus Crazy Location: Pa	i am sorry to say that time does not heal all wounds. if the person was just some hookup or even a serious partner, but not the one, you will eventually stop being numb. when you find that person that completes you, and they leave, good luck on time healing that. the person that completed me broke up with me in may, 2 weeks before our 3 year aniversary. this has been the worst summer of my life and i really do not see an end to the trend in the future. what is the point of looking to the future if the one thing that you cherish the most in life is gone? that thing that made life worthwile, a reason to get up in the morning. the numbness still feels like it did the day that she ended it.... __________________ i don't want to be lonely, i just want to be alone.

07-02-2003, 05:53 AM	#4 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	Everybody told me "time heals all wounds" when this happened to me. It is true, it really does. I went through emotional hell and recovered quite nicely in a short amount of time. Occupy yourself with as much as you can. Friends, Family, etc; Do something new you never would have thought you could do....take a class, get a new hobby, go to the gym!!

08-01-2003, 01:21 AM	#6 (permalink)
aeturnum Upright	I would give the advice everyone else has - just keep on going with your life. One thing to try is concentrate on the rest of your life, trying not to think about your ex, eventually you just fall back into life and things generally get back to normal.

08-02-2003, 02:36 PM	#8 (permalink)
tikki Justified Location: West Lafayette, IN	Head to the gym and take your anger, frustration, hurt, and other emotions out in a productive and fun way: exercise __________________ Take notice. Take interest. Take me with you.

08-02-2003, 02:53 PM	#9 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	Take some time to grieve the loss of the relationship. Don't just ignore that you feel bad - but know that eventually, you will feel okay again. When you feel ready, do things to move outside yourself - distract yourself with movies, books, friends, exercise, travel. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

08-02-2003, 03:24 PM	#10 (permalink)
aintyoboyfriend Insane Location: Arlington, VA	Definitely try to move on. keep yourself busy so that you don't think too much about him, and try to rid yourself of any reminders, not permanently, but just temporarily, until you feel strong enough. Take up a new hobby, get in touch with old friends you haven't talked to in a while. Everyday you will start to feel better, and it will hurt a little less, until finally it doesn't hurt at all.

08-02-2003, 03:33 PM	#11 (permalink)
smithja0423 Guest	I'd of course say you need to move on, but take the extra time you have now to get to know yourself. Often it's hard to see yourself as a single person when you've been assimilated into a couple. And hell - browse the XXX threads on the titty board so your full of new ideas when you set yourself loose on the male population. We'll thank you for it.

08-03-2003, 07:04 PM	#12 (permalink)
striderkevin Crazy Location: Can't tell you, then I'd have to kill you.	There are some things that one must just deal with and move on. There is really no use in dwelling in the past, all it does is just tear you up. Moving on may be the hardest thing to do, but the most important thing is to not lose sight of yourself. __________________ "A false life is equal to death. Be your true self" -Strider Hiryu

08-03-2003, 11:43 PM	#13 (permalink)
Amano Insane	maximus, I went through a similar situation. My first gf, of almost 2 and a half years broke up with me in may of last year, two days before my birthday. I was really messed up that summer... feeling all depressed and suicidal. Things gradually got mildly better, but I didn't fully recover until around January... that's more than 6 months. They say that a good rule of thumb is that it takes half the duration of the relationship to get over it. Don't let that limit you, and don't force yourself to stick to it but just let it be a reminder that yeah, breakups suck, and yeah it can take a long time to get over them. On a side note, I seem to be experiencing deja vu, because the girl I met and fell in love with in february broke up with me about a month ago... and I'm still trying to get over it now. I'm not feeling as bad as I was last summer, but dammnit, summers really f'ing suck

08-04-2003, 08:47 PM	#14 (permalink)
im just a girl Upright	I have found that the best way to get over a guy is to make sure you erase everything you still have of theirs... including things like pictures, their screen name, and telephone number. You may be tempted to keep them for sentimental value, but all thats going to happen is that you'll com across is and suddenly remember all the 'great times' you had. By wiping reminders of them away, you're literally helping yourself to forget them.

08-05-2003, 12:14 PM	#15 (permalink)
parlorforsvin Upright	That's... brutal, I'm just a girl. Though it might work... Unless you're like me whowould remember it even more then.