Tully Mars

I walked into work several years ago and ended up in a meeting about a new case involving a child molester. One of the concerns was how to get him from the jail to court and ensure his safety. Can't exactly remember what I said but it prompted the agency/dept. head to ask what would you do if it were your child? I told him "50lbs of lye, some black plastic and a shovel- there's a whole lot of empty forest around here. Fern beds have really soft ground, makes it easy to dig a deep hole." The young lady we'd just hired for clerical support, who was taking notes, looked up and said "Umm, you've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?"

Sounds like you put a lot of thought into your plan too.

Having a plan can be a good thing.

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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

Anxst

Sadly, no. A drunk driver killed her while she was walking home about 2 months after we got engaged.

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Don't mind me. I'm just releasing the insanity pressure from my headvalves.

little_tippler

I am not. Sadly after 3 years together things did not end on a happy note. What made it worse was his behaviour after we broke up. There are things that are unforgivable. So I am not in the least interested in being in touch with him. In fact I'm sure that if our paths crossed, I would not even talk to him. Today, I don't regret having lost it to him, but I do think it was too soon and I wasn't entirely ready at the time.

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

skizziks

i have no idea what happened to the girl who i lost my virginity with. nor do i really care.

my first (and possibly only true)love, the girl whose virginity i took, we are still in contact. we stayed loosely in contact over the last many many years, and only recently we re-established a friendship. it took so long because we still had feelings for each other but were in seperate relationships, but we are now both "over each other" enough to where we can send emails and not get little spiteful digs in.

Charlatan

Do you know where your first is? Not a clue.

Are you still in touch? God, no.

I haven't seen her since 1983 or 1984. I have no idea what's become of her.

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Magpie_1

Yes and we're still together.

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"Art is what you can get away with."
- Andy Warhol

koli70

I'm still in touch with my first, we dated on and off for awhile and when we ended it I wondered what I ever saw in him. I'm not attracted to him at all anymore.

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Woman is a danger cat

special_k_77

Yes I am still in contact. I married her, but not before we broke up went our seperate ways for 3 years dated others were both engaged to other people broke those off and happen to run into each other on a busy crowded street one Halloween night, and the rest as they say is history

slightlyaskew

After a 30 year hiatus, I am in contact with him now, thanks to the wonders of the internet. At the time, I was 15 and he 19. When summer was over, he went back to college-I was still in high school and things drifted.

We've discussed the past at length and put it aside. Over the past year, he's become a good friend and confidant. I value his friendship immensely.

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sa

A day without sunshine is like night.

Vigilante

I married my first

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We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-Winston Churchill

inBOIL

No. Haven't spoken to her since the night in question and have no idea how to track her down. Don't see any reason to, either.

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And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

stonefaceddog

I still keep in touch with my first. Its been over 20 years. We seem to go in phases-there will be times when we talk every week and then we will go through a phases where we won't talk for a year or more. Right now we are heading into the year or more phase and I think that maybe this will be the end of us keeping in touch. We live about 200 miles apart now and we are both married and my wife doesn't care for her. I don't know how her spouse feels about me since I've only talked to him in person once. Part of me would be happy with not talking to her again-I'm all for keeping the past in the past but other times I wish we would talk. We were best friends before and even shortly after we dated and I always enjoyed talking with her.

bcarson90

yeah, we still talk. i dont know if were going to lose touch. we just broke up and pretty much had sex every weekend we were together and that lasted for 4 months.

868686

I like ratbastid's post; I'd like to type out a similar extended reply with explanations for it all, but I spose I won't cos I've already doubled-back inside my own head about it for months. We mutually broke up; the thing is though, we were teenagers. I'd been into pornography, sex, and all related trades since I was 7-years-old, and I have a lot of suppressed memories about many things. Having sex with them was for my own venture in which I decided to manipulate them. Then I ended it with a lack of sex in the relationship then felt like the biggest suck since. Then I went religious, & became the top student of my school. Hopefully, life pans out for me, I'm trying to move on from the part of my life that was tainted by sex. In addition, I'm on the look out for that special someone. I have the perfect person in mind, but I'm open-minded, and hope I can find someone that I want to be with for the rest of my life.

Leto

Nope. It was back in '78. She got po'd when I didn't recognize her sober. she had this Amy Winehouse thing going on when she wasn't sober, but cleaned up well.

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You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey
And I never saw someone say that before
You held my hand and we walked home the long way
You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr

http://dune.wikia.com/wiki/Leto_Atreides_I

Chumley

I actually just made contact with mine after more or less 25 yrs.... it's a weird feeling. At first I was kinda walkin' on air for a day or so, just cause the emails were friendly. Then some of the exchanges reminded me a bit of why things didn't work out in the first place. Which makes it a lot easier not to build up any stress over it. And we are both happily married with kids, which also makes it easier not to care.

As to what gratification? Um, I cared a lot about her once upon a time, and the breakup wasn't so harsh as to scour that completely. I would rather be friends... and they say that as you get older, the people who "knew you when..." get more important. It's nice to know where she is and that she's ok.

Anyway, we're planning to get together sometime soonish. My wife is fine with it, we see her exes every year -- her mom usually has people over during holidays and there'll be like 3 of them there. Which is odd if you think about it too much, but again, it was all 20-25 yrs ago.

healer

I'm married to her. The contact is pretty regular.

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mandy

yeah...we see each other a lot. He has a wife and two kids. and we're friendly and talk and have fun together...but if there was one thing in my life that i could take back, it would be that.

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The Imagination equips us to see a reality we have yet to create

highdro69

I know my first is living somewhere in Tampa. We stayed in contact for the first few years after we briefly dated. She cheated on me, but I didn't really care, I just used that as an excuse to break it off with her to date a girl I was madly in love with. She even gave me some good date ideas with said girl. The last I heard from her(must have been a good five years now) she was preggers and had dropped out of school. I really do wish her all the best and I harbor absolutely no ill will towards her, but from the very beginning I knew she would be one of life's failures. Just one of those chicks who thinks she can skate through life on her good looks.
Her friend sent me a pic of her in a bathing suit a few years ago, and I must say, she must have paid very good money for that amazing boob job. Made me want to hit it again haha.

It seems like there is a pattern here that the women regret and despise their firsts. I kind of cringe to think that there's a woman out there who thinks of me as a huge mistake. Why are you women so bitter against your firsts, if you don't mind me asking?

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"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

Baraka_Guru

I am not in contact with my first, for she is my abuser.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Hyacinthe

highdro69 not all women are - infact many of them seem to feel a certain fondness for their firsts. My first time involved some not pleasant things, the type of stuff that requires a trip to hospital, restraining orders and multiple sessions in court.

Am I bitter about it? Most definitely

I doubt the women who you were a first for had anything along the lines of what I did so I doubt that they would feel about you the same way i feel about my first.

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"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own"

"Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."

Esoteric

I am not. I was 16 at the time and she was 20. We kept in touch and hung out quite a bit until a couple of years ago.

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From a head full of pressure rests the senses that I clutch
Made a date with Divinity, but she wouldn't let me fuck
I got touched by a hazy shaded, God help me change
Caught a rush on the floor from the life in my veins

lostgirl

I'm not bitter against him, he really went crazy. Started saying things like he was going to kill me and himself. NOT COOL!

Jim Kata

Yep...I married her.
Yep.....only when it comes to splitting assets
Nope....only when it comes to the divorce.

Jenna

I am friends with my first on facebook but that's really it. We haven't spoke in quite a few years. We didn't date for long, only about a month or so, and when we broke up we didn't remain good friends. We just kind of went on with our separate lives. But we don't hate, or hold any bad feelings towards one another. And I'm sure we could have a friendly conversation.

The sex was boring and quick. It was awkward and we didn't communicate. I don't regret it or anything, but my sex life has definitely evolved from there! I was very young though, 13, so I will still very immature.

stevie667

Havn't spoken to her in ages. Absoloute train wreck of a breakup (not intentionally, just kinda ended that way), which is a shame, but life goes onwards.

Now, her first wasn't good, to the extent where he left town for a month or so when i found out his name and gathered a lynch mob

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Office hours have changed. Please call during office hours for more information.

Aphrodisios

I still keep in contact with my first and I think we will always be good friends. It happened 6 years ago and we have remained friends ever since. Obviously since we keep in contact I know where she is. She is moving to Canada soon with her boyfriend whom shes been with for a long time now. I plan on visiting her again eventually but I'm not sure when I will get the chance.

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"Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never... never forget it."

-Curtis Judalet

m0rpheus

We've kept in touch online but that's it. We didn't talk for a long time but we've caught up recently. Nothing serious really just the usual "so what have you been up to?" "married?" "kids?" kind of questions.

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"it never got weird enough for me." - Hunter S. Thompson

AVoiceOfReason

Update: I did locate her on MySpace. We had a nice exchange of a few notes, and I got around to telling her she was my first. I found out I was also hers! She had talked tough, I called her bluff and we swapped virginities without knowing it. Now, I can explain some things I didn't know how to process at 16--like how still she was, and the blood on my underwear I found the next morning (thinking she had done it, I thought I'd caught her at "the wrong time of the month").

Since then, we've seen each other three times--twice at her place of employment and a lunch meeting. We're both happily married (she's going on a trip next week for her 30th anniversary), but we exchange e-mails several times a week, and we're glad we are friends now. And glad the truth has finally come out after 1/3 of a century!

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AVOR

A Voice Of Reason, not necessarily the ONLY one.

FuglyStick

I barely remember my first, so no.

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AZIZ! LIGHT!

KirStang

My first has a Ph.D in making me feel like shit. So, I avoid her if at all possible.

Plan9

My first was the same height and weight as me. In fact, we could have been weird male/female clones if not for the fact that she had big dumb cow eyes.

I have not seen her since the one night stand that marked my "first."

It's better if you lose your virginity that way: slam, bam, never-see-ya-again.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Ce'Nedra

Yep, I married him! High school sweethearts, I was his first... we're so sappy.