FelixP

Hi all. I have a problem I was wondering if you could help me with. This is embarrasing to say the least, so I guess I'll just jump right in to get it over with. I'm too nervous to lose my virginity. I'm 18 years old and (theoretically) ready to have sex. I've had girls show interest in me, but I never make a move. Last october ('07) I contacted a girl I hadn't seen in a few years. We never made plans beyond "maybe we should hang out some time." This past july ('08) we finally made conclusive plans to go to a concert. She was all over me the entire night, grabbing my rear, grinding me, putting my hands on her breasts and butt, etc. I enjoyed it physically, but I had a butterfly in my stomach the size of Texas, making it difficult to enjoy it mentally and emotionally. When she told me she wanted to go home with me, I told her I had to go to work the next day (which was true). I want to have sex, but I'm just too nervous. What should I do?

P.S.
I've been reading other people's posts of similar content, and I think it's relevant that I did have an erection.

MEAD

Hey it's alright, man. I felt the same way when I was your age. I was incredibly nervous to have sex for the first time, and I was even going to do it with a girl I loved and trusted. All you need to know is that everyone is nervous the first time, and it may just take some time for you to warm up to the idea (it took me a while). There's plenty to be anxious about, but I think the best way to reduce the stress is to do it with someone you can trust to understand your situation.

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"That's it, send out the ninjas!"
"So then I had to kill my way to the second floor."

botabota

Let the girl know that its your first time, and be honest with her that you are nervous.
Dont let this surprise her. Dont worry about it too much (if you are then it would get worst).

I remember about my first time, was nervous as hell, but i let the girl i did it with know, and she completely understand my situation.
Which help me alot about my nervousness and actually get me to do it with her.

Hope this help ...

P.S. its happen to everyone

FelixP

Thanks alot guys, I really appreciate the reassurances.

healer

Relax, we've all been there.

I, too, think it's important that you're upfront with her and tell her that it's your first time. If it's not her first time too (I'm assuming it's not), she'll be able to take a lot of the awkwardness away from the situation. Plus, she'll be able to help you in the right direction, so to speak.

After all, she wants it to be good for herself as well as you.

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savmesom11

MEAD = very yes.

Not to be the "wait until your in love" voice here but truthfully, you will feel more at ease and comfortable with someone you love or at the very least care for. Your going to be nervous, that's a given, but akward exploration is much easier to handle if the woman knows your situation and the two of you are on the same page.

Good luck

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* I do not believe that struggles are a sign of life falling apart, but rather a step of life falling into place. *

Xerxys

I'm sorry., but this statement made me LOL really hard. But my universal answer for this remains true, two bottles of Heineken!! Seriously, only two, you dont wanna be drunk, you just need the confidence.

genuinegirly

I'm going to speak up in favor of Xerxys' comment - whether it's your first time or not, a couple of beers go a long way. My husband is far more relaxed and happy after a couple of beers, which makes for some excellent sex.

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MSD

If you're not nervous about your first time, you're too drunk to be losing your virginity.

ItWasMe

I agree with letting her know. You'll change her expectations almost immediately. Meaning, she can expect you to be nervous and help you deal with it (without wondering if you're always like this), she can expect you to ... ah, hell never mind. I tell you all the things that can happen when you're nervous, and I'll make you more nervous, expecting bad things to happen. Don't want to jinx you.

If you take the above advice and drink the beers, make sure your breath doesn't taste like it. Tasting either beer or whisky second hand, yuck. And for heaven's sake, don't eat a handful of smoked almonds to cover up your beer taste/breath. Omg, that is just n-a-s-t-y eeeww!

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"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

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FelixP

I know it sounds kind of funny, but I was reading similar forum topics and guys were saying they were too nervous to get an erection.

Anormalguy

While I agree that taking the edge off of your nerves can be very helpful, be cautious when using alcohol or other drugs to help get you through awkward situations.

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In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow

Xerxys

I demand you share stories.

lostgirl

Being nervous is completely normal. It's something we all have been though.

Every one has given really good advise. I would talk to her about it, let her know how you feel. Twice I have taken a mans virginity without them telling me until after. I just thought "oh that explains why he seemed so weird and nervous."

Don't feel pressure to do it just to loose your virginity.

FelixP

Unfortunately, she went to college a little while ago...too bad I didn't know about this site six months ago.

Ayashe

Not to mention the horrible experience of whiskey dick. Please don't drink heavily, it will leave you feeling even more nervous when your next opportunity comes after having been unable to perform for the first.

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I am only a little spoon in a huge world of soup.

Plan9

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Anormalguy

I don't have any particularily interesting experiences worth sharing, basically because I can't remember them due to the excessive consumption of alcohol.

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In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow

FelixP

I don't understand. Are you saying I'm gay?

gwydion

So you know the secret to losing your virginity is to do it at the right time with the right person. Most people don't know that people who are most satisfied with their sex life are those who only have one partner and wait until that right one comes a long. I know that sounds boring, but its true. You will have so much less emotional repercussions that way. I know is sounds old fashion- but you only know if you try it. If your looking to have sex you completely ignore the person and who they are. Be a friend first, develop a relationship based on trust and unselfishness. Don't fall in the trap that we so often do and just look for physical gratification. There is so much more to life! And when the time comes to lose your virginity it will be with someone who is worth it (and the physical gratification will be sublime because you waited for the right time). So be patient and wait for the right time. After all timing is EVERYTHING.