11-10-2008, 04:32 PM | #41 (permalink) |
Upright
|
In my opinion, a slut is a woman who is not a lady. And that sounds absolutely horrible, but it's really not.
I don't care if a woman sleeps around a lot. I don't care if a woman has a different partner every night of her adult life. I don't even care if she TALKS about it. What defines sluttiness for me is how she carries herself. If she has sex because she enjoys it, great. If she has sex because she thinks it gives her some kind of power or earns her respect? That's a slut. If a woman feels that the only way to be sexual and sexy is to wear shorts up her ass crack and tops that show almost the entire tit, nevermind cleavage? That's a slut (hell, thinking that being "sexy" is all about clothes and appearance is stupid bordering on slutty). To me, sluts set the rest of womankind back. They're the ones who still attempt to use their "sexual wiles" to get what they want, who think fucking a man is a way to earn his love or respect, or to control him. If all you want out of a fuck is an orgasm, then fuck on, sister. You make the world a better place. |
11-20-2008, 05:08 PM | #43 (permalink) |
Post-modernism meets Individualism AKA the Clash
Location: oregon
|
a slut, to me, is a person who enjoys sex and isn't afraid to use their sexuality for their advantage. personally, i find sluts to be rather attractive. i just read "the ethical slut" which is a book about polyamorous relationships and find myself very intrigued... i love the concept of freedom, independence, sexual awareness/confidence, etc. that a "slut" exudes. i wish i could reclaim the deragotory slut and embrace it in my life!
__________________
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anais Nin |
11-22-2008, 08:40 PM | #44 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: NYC
|
I rarely use the term slut. I'm always going around saying "skank" and "whore".
As for what I do think a slut is, I'd say its some girl (never a woman, and that's in behavior, not age wise) who sees herself only as a sex object, and give herself or even offers herself to any guy. When I was in college, I worked with a girl in a CD store who took flirting with the male co-workers too far. She grinded the guys right there in the middle of the store, she hung all over them, doing anything to keep their attention on her. Years later, when I graduated and went out in the real world, I worked with another girl who wanted guys to see her as a sex object. She bragged to them about how she made out with other girls, grinded a guy on the dance floor during the holiday party. She also had a smug, I'm better than you attitude that someone in this thread attributed to sluttiness. So, that is my definition of sluttiness. A girl who treats herself as a sex object and not with self-respect. |
11-25-2008, 11:53 PM | #45 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: venice beach, ca
|
along with a lot of other socially charged words, slut has a slippery meaning between regions, age groups, and lifestyles. There are some consistent traits to it though...
- It's a judgement dropped on someone else. it's pretty much never a self-proclaimed badge of pride. -It's never a compliment... there's no good way to take it. even if someone is strong and defiant about being labelled, it's never a title they would have sought. -It's a strongly charged word. usually the speaker is very upset. That said, the source of outrage that inspires it is generally different from man to woman. A woman drops it when she feels socially cheated of the interest or attentions of a rival romantic interest... and a guy usually goes to it when they want to comfort their ego after being rejected.
__________________
-my phobia drowned while i was gettin down. |
11-26-2008, 06:38 AM | #46 (permalink) |
Paladin of the Palate
Location: Redneckville, NC
|
A slut will with sleep with anyone, a whore will sleep with anyone but you. There was many different forms of that quote, just thought I'd throw my own in there.
I basically agreeing with those who have posted above me that it is attitude that defines it, I have a friend that was like Lindy who later on in life "reformed" herself. She slept with people because it filled a hole that was left when her first husband cheated on her and threw her away. She was lost and used sex to make herself feel better and feel like someone wanted her if not for a few hours. She to this day definded herself as a "slut" during that time in her life. She doesn't do that now, she is hopelessly attached to one guy that she has a child with. She didn't do because she liked sex (which she does), she did it because it made her feel "whole". As for myself, I'm a guy who wishes he could have more sex that he is having. I do feel a quick stab of jealousy when I see my friends hook up with more girls that I could possibly get without even trying. That may a be a gender difference between girls and guys on that issue, (most) guys want to be the guy that hooks up with a different girl each night and have girls fighting over them. I don't claim to know how women feel about friends that hook up with guys every night, but I would like to hear about it. |
11-26-2008, 07:10 AM | #47 (permalink) | |
Super Moderator
Location: essex ma
|
i love the oed.
Quote:
so following from that, use would be determinate. preparations second. so it is with all aspects, i suppose.
__________________
a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear it make you sick. -kamau brathwaite |
|
12-01-2008, 09:30 AM | #52 (permalink) |
has all her shots.
Location: Florida
|
As usual most of the attempts at defining a 'slut' are vague, most likely based on specious observation and mean-spirited. Might as well say: 'a slut is a woman I don't like because <insert random judgment on objectional behavior performed by person with vagina here>'
Not that I don't have my own judgments...for instance, I am really turned off by people who describe women as sluts in a derogatory way and I will instantly make a judgment on them and their worldview. So I understand the compulsion to jump to conclusions. I am a slut. I like the word. It conjures up wonderful, joyous ideas for me. It's an attitude I like and I take no little amount of self-satisfaction from it. How I choose to inhabit it is no one's business but my own. ************** This is quite delicious...I must incorporate it into something. b. In playful use, or without serious imputation of bad qualities. 1664 PEPYS Diary 21 Feb., Our little girl Susan is a most admirable slut, and pleases us mightily. 1678 BUNYAN Pilgr. I. 112 As the Mother cries out against her Child in her lap, when she calleth it Slut and naughty Girl, and then falls to hugging and kissing it. 1710-1 SWIFT Lett. (1767) III. 79 Ah! you're a wheedling slut, you be so. 1740-2 RICHARDSON Pamela III. 207 Well did the dear Slut describe the Passion I struggled with. 1846 LANDOR Imag. Conv. I. 233 Nanny, thou art a sweet slut. 1884 GORDON Jrnls. (1885) 115 Why the black sluts would stone me if they thought I meditated such action. transf. 1862 THACKERAY Philip xiii, You see I gave my cousin this dog,..and the little slut remembers me.
__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce |
12-03-2008, 11:24 PM | #54 (permalink) |
But You'll Never Prove It.
Location: under your bed
|
I always thought of a slut as someone who makes a habit out of having sex with, or attempting to have sex with, other people's SO's just to see if she can. A home wrecker, if you will. Especially if she has her own SO (which would also make her a cheat).
__________________
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe |
12-04-2008, 01:46 PM | #55 (permalink) | |
Psycho
Location: venice beach, ca
|
Quote:
It's usually a name taken out when someone steps over the line with the unwritten rules of picking up partners.
__________________
-my phobia drowned while i was gettin down. |
|
12-04-2008, 05:25 PM | #56 (permalink) |
has all her shots.
Location: Florida
|
What I don't get is, a person can, for instance, buy 50 pairs of shoes a year or get $20,000 worth of plastic surgery or spend literally hundreds of hours a year playing video games and the like wth nary a raised eyebrow. But sleep with "too many" people or for the "wrong reasons" and not only is your character questioned but your self-worth and even your sanity. There are all sorts of reasons for why people do any manner of 'abnormal' things. It's the sex. After all the talk and the books and the movies and the porn, people still feel ambivalent about the morality of sexual freedom.
__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce |
12-04-2008, 05:56 PM | #57 (permalink) |
After School Special Moralist
Location: Large City, Texas.
|
To me, slut (female or male) = desperate promiscuity. Of course what qualifies as deperate promiscuity is open to debate.
__________________
In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow |
12-05-2008, 04:56 AM | #58 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Location: Louisville, KY
|
Quote:
Great responses, everyone. This is the biggest thread I've ever started, I'm rather proud to see my "baby" take on a life of its own. :-)
__________________
"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." -Desiderata |
|
12-05-2008, 01:02 PM | #60 (permalink) | |
has all her shots.
Location: Florida
|
Quote:
Well, no. I don't. I think they are all complicated and are all indicative of certain obsessive personality dysfunctions. But I do not think that any of them, in and of themselves (including sexual promiscuity), indicate anything in general about a person's character, about their ability to function reasonably in the world, or their suitability as a friend or lover. That's not to say that I am not a proponent of responsibility. I believe people should practice safe sex. I believe that people should be good and kind to each other and not knowingly interfere with committed relationships. I believe people should be careful in choosing sexual partners and scenarios, etc, etc. But I don't think indulging in these things has anything to do with being a slut. I don't understand why sexual irresponsibility has to have its own stigma and its own name. In my opinion, it betrays a discomfort with sexuality, particularly a woman's sexuality, that irks me. Especially here, where so many people come to see women be sluttish inside a little box. Inside the little box they are hot, outside of the little box they are sluts who aren't good enough to love. Granted, I realize that the word has been used to indicate what it indicates for a long time. I just disagree with it and I wish we could get past it.
__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce Last edited by mixedmedia; 12-05-2008 at 01:05 PM.. |
|
12-07-2008, 11:14 AM | #61 (permalink) |
░
Location: ❤
|
Bingo, my lady...you said it so well.
"Especially here, where so many people come to see a woman be sluttish inside a little box. Inside the little box they are hot, outside the little box they are sluts who aren't good enough to love." Wow, woman...thank you. |
12-07-2008, 01:41 PM | #62 (permalink) |
Twitterpated
Location: My own little world (also Canada)
|
Only prudes believe in sluttiness. Honestly though, my opinion of what's "excessively promiscuous" depends on the situation - a person who has slept with the majority of a single social group would probably seem slutty to me, whereas someone who had slept with the same number of people in the same timeframe but weren't a part of the same group would not seem to be (so to analyze myself, I suppose I have problems with people who mess with social contracts, as someone who sleeps with an entire group of friends likely would be doing). Also, sleeping with multiple people in separate instances on the same day pretty much guarantees ones sluttiness.
In regard to why sexual promiscuity is a bigger deal (to me) than other types of excessive behaviour, the issue is twofold: one, it is nice to feel at least a tiny bit "special" when in the position of having sexual relations with someone (even the smallest bit, like being the person they're most attracted to out of a nightclub full of people) rather than just being a glorified masturbatory aid, and the second part being that, as safe as one attempts to be, the more partners one engages with, the greater the likelihood of picking up an STD. The latter part is generally not a major concern, but it still exists on the periphery.
__________________
"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato Last edited by Suave; 12-07-2008 at 01:48 PM.. |
12-08-2008, 03:50 PM | #63 (permalink) | |
Upright
Location: Everett, WA
|
Quote:
I think that's exactly right...I think women get the brand "slut" because the popular conception and in a way the truth is that women have a lot more control/power over having sex then the man does in today's society...Any single guy would sleep with any decent looking single girl...What I mean is for the majority of men (between 16-28ish) the basic attitude is to "get it where you can" so this mindset leaves the women the choice to give it to him and if they do that to much people who she hasnt brand her a slut. |
|
12-09-2008, 09:59 PM | #65 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: I'm up they see me I'm down.
|
I also believe it has a lot of it has to do with your mentality. I once knew a bisexual nymphomaniac, but she had a lot of daddy issues. Her father died when she was young, her brother was in the Army, and consequently she really had no strong male role model in her life. I don't think she slept around because she thought it was cool or anything like that, it was just her way of coping with her own psychological traumas.
|
12-19-2008, 03:54 PM | #69 (permalink) |
Upright
|
Look at all the eys drawn to a short skirt. Women, men, anyone with a pulse. Tanned legs, or milky white legs running long to the ground, a tiny little tilt forward will reveal a perfect little ass. Her midriff is bare, her belly pierced.
If thats a slut i want me some. Seriously, who are we to judge someone elses turn ons. Whatever the reason they are seeking it. So what if they use sex to validate theselves. We all have sex for many different reasons, and our lifes goals and personal experiences will shift that reason again and again over the course of your lives. To say anyone has sex for the wrong reasons, and thus should not partake is like saying that one shouldnt drink wine unless one has a well trained pallete. Sex is a pleasure many of us can whatever our reasons. If a woman im with like to feel slutty, if feeling slutty makes her feel sexy, and makes me feel sexy then I think its being completey untrue tooneself not to enjoy he energy and tension that it brings. |
12-19-2008, 05:47 PM | #70 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: Orlando, Florida
|
Is she consistently sexually unfaithful to her SO in relationships? If so I would think it's accurate to refer to her as a slut (it's still not a nice thing to call someone).
A male who does the same thing as I mention above is a dog, rather than a slut. (need a better insult than that since to quote Wanda Sykes, "I get mad when men are referred to as dogs. Dogs are loyal.") Does she sleep around a lot? Then probably, depending on the specifics. (I would tend to judge on a case by case basis if asked) |
Tags |
morality, promiscuity, sexuality |
|
|