People you regret letting slip away - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Plan9 · 07-19-2010, 04:13 PM

With two partners it resembles regret in that "Well, I should have seen that coming!"

I enjoyed "living" with them and they were good activity partners. Genuine female sputniks.

With the rest? A more simple motivation: lust. Given a chance I'd still tap that ass like a GBU-28.

Oh, yessir. I just wouldn't want to have any long conversations with them afterward.

After going through and witnessing a couple of rough breakups, I think a lot of guys confuse lust with Those Other Emotions.

You don't really miss your exgirlfriend, bro... you just miss the hot-damn kinky shit she did for you without asking.

CinnamonGirl · 07-21-2010, 07:09 AM

I don't regret letting any ex-boyfriends slip away. The relationships ended, and we moved on.

There was one guy, though, that was interested in me directly prior to starting my relationship with the most recent ex. He was smart and funny and talented... he was interning at a hospital and played piano on the weekends. We got along fabulously, and had a lot of fun together. But...N was making it clear that he wanted to be exclusive, so I told E he'd be better off just walking away. He did.

I'm happy in my current relationship (

), but I sometimes think if I'd spent three years with E instead of N, I wouldn't have the self esteem issues that I deal with now. Ah, well. Hindsight's 20/20, as they say.

ring · 07-21-2010, 12:30 PM

Letting someone 'go' sounds like releasing a kidnap victim.
People come & go out of our lives on their own volition.

Plan9 · 07-21-2010, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ring

Letting someone 'go' sounds like releasing a kidnap victim.
People come & go out of our lives on their own volition.

...like an atom smasher. Yes.

Baraka_Guru · 07-21-2010, 02:12 PM

Should I post in here, or is there a more specific people-you-regret-not-fucking thread?

Plan9 · 07-21-2010, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

Should I post in here, or is there a more specific people-you-regret-not-fucking thread?

Throw your hands in the air if you're a true player.

Baraka_Guru · 07-21-2010, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plan9

Throw you hands in the air if you're a true player.

You don't understand. There are a few people I probably should have fucked.

Plan9 · 07-21-2010, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

You don't understand. There are a few people I probably should have fucked.

You and every other guy. I didn't fuck my buddy's ex even after they'd be apart for a zillion years.

Bad juju. And she had an ass that'd stop traffic and could do the splits. No regrets, though.

Are you're suggesting that you should have engaged in more playtime before you settled down?

raging moderate · 07-21-2010, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDragonlady

It's better to look toward the future than to wonder about the past, I think.

truer words have never been spoken. i have no regrets. only thing i would do differently, if i could, is more, more, more. i look back at the opportunities i did have and walked away from, and think - damn - should have went for it - but i don't regret any of the stuff I've done, girls I've been with, or anything else. Life - it is what it is. Go get some

---------- Post added at 09:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:07 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plan9

You don't really miss your exgirlfriend, bro... you just miss the hot-damn kinky shit she did for you without asking.

fuckin-a right

Dr. Black · 07-26-2010, 02:24 PM

I have only loved one girl and that relationship was the only relationship that meant something and I really do regret letting her go. However, at the same time there were some trust issues in the relationship regarding her breaking promises about her drug problem, but still for some reason I would probably go back to it.

She is interested in being friends with benefits though in the future when she's single, so I'll see what happens there, but I know the chance of getting together as a couple again is slim.

Magnolia · 08-15-2010, 07:32 PM

I used to wonder what if , but I dont anymore , now I just look back and am glad that I left who I left , and only regret not leaving sooner , no regrets , I know my boyfriend looks back on the one that got away, and his other exs , and it tortures me . its been a long time, , people need to focus on who they are with right now and leave the past behind where it belongs .

hapa · 08-28-2010, 12:37 AM

I dont think I really have any regrets since my current SO is more than I could have ever asked for, but there is one I'm curious about:
We were childhood friends and grew up together. We went to the same schools, but never talked to each other there since he was a grungy skater kid and I was class president (I know, I know, RIDICULOUS, but I was pretty lame several years ago). When we would hang out in private both of us were different people than when we were in public. Once he asked me out and I never gave him a chance since I wondered what people would think of me. It makes me mad and makes me wonder what would have happened if I wasn't so stupid.

Alas, I am happy where I am so I don't dwell on the curiosity too much

Shadowex3 · 08-28-2010, 07:15 PM

I think I've got a second chance...

Lindy · 08-30-2010, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ring

Letting someone 'go' sounds like releasing a kidnap victim.
People come & go out of our lives on their own volition.

Yes, someone leaves of their own volition. Me "letting go" means I quit giving them free rent on the empty space in my head or heart.

Lindy

ring · 08-30-2010, 07:01 PM

Well said.

Plan9 · 08-30-2010, 07:25 PM

This topic always kicks my ass. For me it goes like: I enjoy relationship A and care for the person but it doesn't work out because of X,Y,Z. Usually a case of me being a clueless douchebag and them cheating. So then with relationship B I'm doing all the stuff I learned in relationship A and everything is going really well but I'm still thinking about relationship A because I had invested so much into it and it's still fresh in my mind. Eventually things break down because I'm a clueless douchebag-rinse-repeat. But I get over it and move on. I'm pretty sure this process has happened like four or five times.

The bad news is that I haven't had a relationship that has lasted to the two-year mark yet.

The good news is that I'm getting to play harpoon the velvet sea monster a lot.

...

To the women that used to be in my life: My longing for you has a half-life of an unhealthy duration.

And in most cases I don't really want you back, I just want my time and effort back.

Lindy · 08-30-2010, 10:09 PM

I'm quoting myself from a thread a couple of years ago. It seems hoky and corny, but was just what I needed at the time. It is sometimes still hard to stay in Chapter V.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lindy

A long time ago, when I was still with my practicing alcoholic husband, my Alanon sponsor showed this to me. I'm working from memory, but I think I have it mostly right. She said that it was hard for me to tell the difference between real change, and what just looked like change. Like having an alcoholic boyfriend instead of an alcoholic husband was probably only a Chapter Two or Three change. She kept telling me that I still had a ways to go to get to Chapter Five....
Lindy

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

I.
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost...I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

II.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place,
but it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in...it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V.
I walk down a different street.

cwazy1 · 08-30-2010, 11:32 PM

i just watched tom hank's cast away and i feel so shitty right now. i've never had a movie make me feel this before.

Plan9 · 08-31-2010, 07:12 AM

I've posted this elsewhere on TFP, but it definitely fits here:

Quote:

It's nice, nay, it's awesome. I finally feel like it's over. That we are now friends. Not simply pretend friends. I am no longer hanging by my fingernails thinking about what could have been and what could still be. I can let go and realize a ledge on my toes. I can now move forward without the mopey anguish.

I've realized, or begun to, at least, that what I miss about her and our relationship was simply our past. It's the nostalgia. I miss the good times when it was rolling. I miss the sex, the affection, the days gone by that can never be retrieved again. I miss missing her. I miss the way we were. What I was chasing was that first hit, as they say, because all shit afterward were never as pleasant as that first true jab and in my mind I was imagining it as it once was.

Those days are long gone. We are not emotional Deloreans, equipped to time travel back into the past to relive a life once lived. To do so would be to face the peril of being stranded in the Wild West or at the very least force an inching crawl toward whatever happy future we may have in our own individual Hill Valley. If at this point, it turns out that she was my only love and that I was now to spend the rest of my life as an isolated loveless bastard, I am ecstatic that at least I had that experience. That I had her. That we had something true.

Nothing lasts forever. But the moments that we had will always exist in the time that we had them. They can never be destroyed. They will always be there, whether we choose to remember them or not. And I am so very happy for it. For us. For me.

Aaah, that's the stuff.

I_bleed_love · 08-31-2010, 11:12 AM

I can't say I regret letting anyone go. Granted I do regret wasting my last ex's time and mine as well but that's about it. Anyone I have been with that I wanted to be serious about always got my all, I just never got that in return in the end. Thankfully I'm in a wonderful relationship now where I actually feel appreciated for once.

G~man · 08-31-2010, 01:57 PM

Lindy---the "Five Short Chapters" is great---I have copied that to my computer.

Having been married three times, divorced twice so far, I would have to say that I do not necessarily regret letting them go. I would do things differently, and maybe regret the way in which things ended. I did learn from each, but probably failed to apply what I learnt. I am in odd situation right now in that I am separated from my current wife---have not seen her in almost 2 years, and we have only spoken twice in that time. There is nothing that can be done...and I would have to say I regret not applying what I had learnt in order to prevent this situation.

Red and Black · 09-09-2010, 09:56 PM

My ex gf. In a way I am glad I let it slip away, because I liked her more for the sex and oral pleasure. I never had any mind blowing oral pleasure from any girl before her and after her, and I love how small (she's about 5'1) and flexible (and bendable) she is. I liked her more for her physical attraction. If I would of stayed with her longer it probably wouldn't have lasted, so I'm glad I let her go with someone who will love her more than I did.

remy1492 · 09-09-2010, 11:54 PM

Like Plan 9 said, I should have appreciate each person I dated for who they were at the time more than I did. But there was a reason we broke up, and the nostalgia (sunscreen song) part of your brain covers that up. (one day must have a drink with 9 and talk life).

I actually forgot WHY I broke up with a neighbor girlfriend I dated for a few weeks. We were chatting a few years later and I just sat there wondering how it ended. Then she reminded me she went apesh*t psycho on another friend of mine at a work party and embarrassed the hell out of me. I suddenly remembered, ooooh yeahhhh THAT'S why we broke up! My nostalgia of here was good and I had happy memories of her, until she reminded me WHY we weren't still dating. Phew, thanks for that, after she reminded me, that nostalgia on the size of her tatas went away quickly.

The one I regret? Was the one that I never really had a chance with kinda sorta.
She lived in CO and I lived in TX but I am military and cannot move 9-11 just happened and a long distance relationship was looking bleak. The father of her kids and her immediate family is all in CO, so to uproot them to live with me in the middle of nowhere took a lot of considering. I loved this girl so much I just accepted that I'd be a stepfather to her kids (and I avoided chicks with kids like the plague prior to this). This was a huge step for me as I was just before a pilot training bachelor living life sleeping with many many girls and giving nothing for commitment to anybody. But she blew me away and made me want to give all that up.

She was gorgeous, funny, sexy, hard working and loved GUNS! (my hobby).

She called me with an April fool's joke that she was pregnant (by me of course) and I freaked out. Then I realized, I freaked out because I thought I didn't make enough money to support 3 kids total, not because she was pregnant though. That really showed me where my heart was.
Ya know that, "when the going gets tough" thing. I found out how I really felt about her when she joked like that. Luckily her sister called me to stop the heart attack I had and informed me of the cruel joke.

I did not want to pull the kids away from their dad (whom she never married) without there being a good reason or at least a shot at that guy accepting that challenge of responsibility. I, or maybe we, made the decision for her to try to date her kid's dad first and really try to make it work for the sake of her kids.

If he was a douche and it didn't work out, then my door and heart were wide open. It actually did work out with that guy and she had to cut me off 100% so she could focus on their new family and not have me in the picture clouding things up emotionally. I understood this as I also could not function sanely with her in my life, but not IN it.

Every girl since that I met I compared to her and I still think about her often. Luckily after 8 years she just started to email me again just to say hi. So I did get my wish.

You guys write some good stuff in the posts and thats why I come here. I agree, its the past and we have to live for today, but thinking of her smell, her smile, her voice, for me elicits something stronger than the Force and is like a vodka shot for an alcoholic or the Ring for Smeagol.

ahhhh my precious, just to hold it for............one more time.

Sadman · 09-13-2010, 09:23 AM

I am married to an incredible woman, who loves me unconditionally, despite the fact that I haven't always made it easy for her. Having said that, however, there have been a few prospective relationships I regret screwing up. A very painful experience, of recent vintage, as referenced in a previous post, revealed to me how emotionally immature I've been, for far too long. Old enough to have it together, regarding relationships, a lot better than I did, I allowed these awesome women to put their feelings out there, only to get rebuffed, by a man who was, seemingly, afraid to open up, to anyone getting close to me. The sad thing is that I really and truly thought the world of these women, but, for some reason, a subconscious fear of making a move, and revealing a part of me, to them, squashed any hopes of a relationship, and I know that I ended up hurting them. I think about them often (too much, probably!), and, like many others, wish I could turn back the clock, and try again. I ended up marrying a great lady, but as the saying goes "Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are what might have been"

Shaindra · 09-22-2010, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by remy1492

You guys write some good stuff in the posts and thats why I come here. I agree, its the past and we have to live for today, but thinking of her smell, her smile, her voice, for me elicits something stronger than the Force and is like a vodka shot for an alcoholic or the Ring for Smeagol.

ahhhh my precious, just to hold it for............one more time.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up. Most people you date, split, and keep walking down the street without too much of a second thought. But very rarely, (for some of us only once) you bump into one and it's like your control panel lights up. You want to twirl around singing "So This is Love".

Damn hard not to have second thoughts about someone it feels like you were born bonded to, but had to meet them to find out.

07-19-2010, 04:13 PM	#41 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	With two partners it resembles regret in that "Well, I should have seen that coming!" I enjoyed "living" with them and they were good activity partners. Genuine female sputniks. With the rest? A more simple motivation: lust. Given a chance I'd still tap that ass like a GBU-28. Oh, yessir. I just wouldn't want to have any long conversations with them afterward. After going through and witnessing a couple of rough breakups, I think a lot of guys confuse lust with Those Other Emotions. You don't really miss your exgirlfriend, bro... you just miss the hot-damn kinky shit she did for you without asking. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake." Last edited by Plan9; 07-19-2010 at 04:21 PM..

07-21-2010, 07:09 AM	#42 (permalink)
CinnamonGirl She's Actual Size Location: Central Republic of Where-in-the-Hell	I don't regret letting any ex-boyfriends slip away. The relationships ended, and we moved on. There was one guy, though, that was interested in me directly prior to starting my relationship with the most recent ex. He was smart and funny and talented... he was interning at a hospital and played piano on the weekends. We got along fabulously, and had a lot of fun together. But...N was making it clear that he wanted to be exclusive, so I told E he'd be better off just walking away. He did. I'm happy in my current relationship (), but I sometimes think if I'd spent three years with E instead of N, I wouldn't have the self esteem issues that I deal with now. Ah, well. Hindsight's 20/20, as they say. __________________ "...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world." "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

07-21-2010, 02:12 PM	#45 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	Should I post in here, or is there a more specific people-you-regret-not-fucking thread? __________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

08-30-2010, 07:25 PM	#56 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	This topic always kicks my ass. For me it goes like: I enjoy relationship A and care for the person but it doesn't work out because of X,Y,Z. Usually a case of me being a clueless douchebag and them cheating. So then with relationship B I'm doing all the stuff I learned in relationship A and everything is going really well but I'm still thinking about relationship A because I had invested so much into it and it's still fresh in my mind. Eventually things break down because I'm a clueless douchebag-rinse-repeat. But I get over it and move on. I'm pretty sure this process has happened like four or five times. The bad news is that I haven't had a relationship that has lasted to the two-year mark yet. The good news is that I'm getting to play harpoon the velvet sea monster a lot. ... To the women that used to be in my life: My longing for you has a half-life of an unhealthy duration. And in most cases I don't really want you back, I just want my time and effort back. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake." Last edited by Plan9; 08-30-2010 at 07:44 PM..

08-31-2010, 01:57 PM	#61 (permalink)
G~man Upright Location: Here there and everywhere.	Lindy---the "Five Short Chapters" is great---I have copied that to my computer. Having been married three times, divorced twice so far, I would have to say that I do not necessarily regret letting them go. I would do things differently, and maybe regret the way in which things ended. I did learn from each, but probably failed to apply what I learnt. I am in odd situation right now in that I am separated from my current wife---have not seen her in almost 2 years, and we have only spoken twice in that time. There is nothing that can be done...and I would have to say I regret not applying what I had learnt in order to prevent this situation. __________________ ☻/ G~man......... /▌ "Life may not be the party we hoped for---- / \ but while we're here, we might as well dance ! ! ! "

07-21-2010, 12:30 PM	#43 (permalink)
ring ░ Location: ❤	Letting someone 'go' sounds like releasing a kidnap victim. People come & go out of our lives on their own volition.

07-26-2010, 02:24 PM	#50 (permalink)
Dr. Black Upright	I have only loved one girl and that relationship was the only relationship that meant something and I really do regret letting her go. However, at the same time there were some trust issues in the relationship regarding her breaking promises about her drug problem, but still for some reason I would probably go back to it. She is interested in being friends with benefits though in the future when she's single, so I'll see what happens there, but I know the chance of getting together as a couple again is slim.

08-15-2010, 07:32 PM	#51 (permalink)
Magnolia Upright	I used to wonder what if , but I dont anymore , now I just look back and am glad that I left who I left , and only regret not leaving sooner , no regrets , I know my boyfriend looks back on the one that got away, and his other exs , and it tortures me . its been a long time, , people need to focus on who they are with right now and leave the past behind where it belongs .

08-28-2010, 12:37 AM	#52 (permalink)
hapa Upright	I dont think I really have any regrets since my current SO is more than I could have ever asked for, but there is one I'm curious about: We were childhood friends and grew up together. We went to the same schools, but never talked to each other there since he was a grungy skater kid and I was class president (I know, I know, RIDICULOUS, but I was pretty lame several years ago). When we would hang out in private both of us were different people than when we were in public. Once he asked me out and I never gave him a chance since I wondered what people would think of me. It makes me mad and makes me wonder what would have happened if I wasn't so stupid. Alas, I am happy where I am so I don't dwell on the curiosity too much

08-30-2010, 07:01 PM	#55 (permalink)
ring ░ Location: ❤	Well said.

08-30-2010, 11:32 PM	#58 (permalink)
cwazy1 Upright	i just watched tom hank's cast away and i feel so shitty right now. i've never had a movie make me feel this before.

08-31-2010, 11:12 AM	#60 (permalink)
I_bleed_love Upright	I can't say I regret letting anyone go. Granted I do regret wasting my last ex's time and mine as well but that's about it. Anyone I have been with that I wanted to be serious about always got my all, I just never got that in return in the end. Thankfully I'm in a wonderful relationship now where I actually feel appreciated for once.

09-09-2010, 09:56 PM	#62 (permalink)
Red and Black Upright	My ex gf. In a way I am glad I let it slip away, because I liked her more for the sex and oral pleasure. I never had any mind blowing oral pleasure from any girl before her and after her, and I love how small (she's about 5'1) and flexible (and bendable) she is. I liked her more for her physical attraction. If I would of stayed with her longer it probably wouldn't have lasted, so I'm glad I let her go with someone who will love her more than I did. __________________ tsohg a nees uoy ekil skool

09-09-2010, 11:54 PM	#63 (permalink)
remy1492 Crazy Location: CA TX LU	Like Plan 9 said, I should have appreciate each person I dated for who they were at the time more than I did. But there was a reason we broke up, and the nostalgia (sunscreen song) part of your brain covers that up. (one day must have a drink with 9 and talk life). I actually forgot WHY I broke up with a neighbor girlfriend I dated for a few weeks. We were chatting a few years later and I just sat there wondering how it ended. Then she reminded me she went apesh*t psycho on another friend of mine at a work party and embarrassed the hell out of me. I suddenly remembered, ooooh yeahhhh THAT'S why we broke up! My nostalgia of here was good and I had happy memories of her, until she reminded me WHY we weren't still dating. Phew, thanks for that, after she reminded me, that nostalgia on the size of her tatas went away quickly. The one I regret? Was the one that I never really had a chance with kinda sorta. She lived in CO and I lived in TX but I am military and cannot move 9-11 just happened and a long distance relationship was looking bleak. The father of her kids and her immediate family is all in CO, so to uproot them to live with me in the middle of nowhere took a lot of considering. I loved this girl so much I just accepted that I'd be a stepfather to her kids (and I avoided chicks with kids like the plague prior to this). This was a huge step for me as I was just before a pilot training bachelor living life sleeping with many many girls and giving nothing for commitment to anybody. But she blew me away and made me want to give all that up. She was gorgeous, funny, sexy, hard working and loved GUNS! (my hobby). She called me with an April fool's joke that she was pregnant (by me of course) and I freaked out. Then I realized, I freaked out because I thought I didn't make enough money to support 3 kids total, not because she was pregnant though. That really showed me where my heart was. Ya know that, "when the going gets tough" thing. I found out how I really felt about her when she joked like that. Luckily her sister called me to stop the heart attack I had and informed me of the cruel joke. I did not want to pull the kids away from their dad (whom she never married) without there being a good reason or at least a shot at that guy accepting that challenge of responsibility. I, or maybe we, made the decision for her to try to date her kid's dad first and really try to make it work for the sake of her kids. If he was a douche and it didn't work out, then my door and heart were wide open. It actually did work out with that guy and she had to cut me off 100% so she could focus on their new family and not have me in the picture clouding things up emotionally. I understood this as I also could not function sanely with her in my life, but not IN it. Every girl since that I met I compared to her and I still think about her often. Luckily after 8 years she just started to email me again just to say hi. So I did get my wish. You guys write some good stuff in the posts and thats why I come here. I agree, its the past and we have to live for today, but thinking of her smell, her smile, her voice, for me elicits something stronger than the Force and is like a vodka shot for an alcoholic or the Ring for Smeagol. ahhhh my precious, just to hold it for............one more time.

09-13-2010, 09:23 AM	#64 (permalink)
Sadman Upright Location: Outer Space	I am married to an incredible woman, who loves me unconditionally, despite the fact that I haven't always made it easy for her. Having said that, however, there have been a few prospective relationships I regret screwing up. A very painful experience, of recent vintage, as referenced in a previous post, revealed to me how emotionally immature I've been, for far too long. Old enough to have it together, regarding relationships, a lot better than I did, I allowed these awesome women to put their feelings out there, only to get rebuffed, by a man who was, seemingly, afraid to open up, to anyone getting close to me. The sad thing is that I really and truly thought the world of these women, but, for some reason, a subconscious fear of making a move, and revealing a part of me, to them, squashed any hopes of a relationship, and I know that I ended up hurting them. I think about them often (too much, probably!), and, like many others, wish I could turn back the clock, and try again. I ended up marrying a great lady, but as the saying goes "Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are what might have been" __________________ I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone. Javan