jewels

So I just flipped on the TV, and Tyra (oh hush!) has a show on about straight girls who kiss other girls in bars merely to attract guys.

I was wondering how mainstream this is and if those that do it, do so for the same reasons. Do you think it impacts the gay community? Would you assume that girls or guys that do that are slutty or easy?

This is something that I, personally, wouldn't do publicly. Although two women kissing can be sexy and is definitely a turn-on, especially for men, I would think it almost creates a negative environment for lesbians and gays. I wouldn't necessarily think they were slutty, but I would assume they were open minded and looking for fun, not a serious relationship.

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

Ourcrazymodern?

Sparkling, I would only do it for pleasure.
Does that really matter when you love being?

Unclear once again,
in the midst of some goodness,
I confess I sin.

__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

PonyPotato

I admit, I have kissed a few girls. For attention. In high school.

I think that for the most part it is an attention-getter, and may indeed impact the lesbian and gay community. I was asked on a date by a girl after she saw me kiss one of my friends. I politely refused and I believe that was the last time I kissed a girl to get attention, because I realized that it gave the wrong message to casual observers.

__________________
"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel

jewels

Enjoy yourself, OCM.
-----Added 30/9/2008 at 02 : 57 : 53-----
High school, eh? My oldest showed me pics of herself kissing girls in a bar. She was 24. :hm: Thank you for being honest, merlen.

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

PonyPotato

I'm not even 23 yet (only a few more days!). If that makes any difference.

I haven't kissed a girl since I was 18, I think. When I moved on to college I guess I grew up quite a bit - celibate for two years (until I turned 20), and I've been pretty choosy since then. I don't do things for attention anymore (I find that attention from strangers is just silly and sometimes considerably creepy).

__________________
"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel

snowy

I've kissed girls in public situations, but it wasn't necessarily for attention. I just like kissing girls. More often than not I've used the situation you outlined, jewels, to achieve my aim of kissing a girl. Girls are better kissers.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

World's King

I've kissed other guys for attention.


As a matter of fact, I've flat out made out with another guy for attention. So HA!!

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

jewels

I have to agree there. I guess I'm a curious one, because you have to work so hard to teach guys how to kiss, right? I'd want to take that on in private, though. Maybe one day I will.
-----Added 30/9/2008 at 03 : 11 : 30-----
Back at'cha... we all know you're a slut anyway.

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

World's King

I'm not a slut.



During the weekdays.

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

ShaniFaye

you pretty much said what I was going to...except for the girls are better kissers.....I find them quite satisfying in a different way, but not necessarily better

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

lostgirl

I had a bi-sexual friend in high school. I kissed her, because I was curious, and she wanted to. The kiss was so soft and sweet. We always got creepy guys hovering around us when we did it in public, so we stopped.

I never did it for attention, but often got it.

One of the last times I made out with my friend on the dance floor of a local club. We were both intoxicated and she just came up and started kissing me and I went with it.
Two of my other friends, both male, tried to take me home that night. It's weird when you find out 'friends' want to be more.

KellyC

Girls kissing each other definitely has my attention. I don't care what their purpose is.

__________________
Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

abaya

I noticed girls doing this for the first time when I started grad school and went to one of the few clubs in our college town... and it was the undergrads doing it, and they were definitely doing it for attention. It pissed me off at the time, but I wasn't in the club that often, so I didn't have to see it that much. Mostly, I learned from that experience how many men are out there who are like KellyC (no offense, but I'm being honest), and that is why those particular women do it well into their 20s.

If I were going to kiss a girl, I would most definitely not do it on a dance floor, because it would be for *me* to experience and not for men to get all hot and bothered over. Of course, I'm married now, so things would be a little different if we went down that road, lol.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

anti fishstick

I think this is what bothers me about that hit song "I kissed a girl" or whatever it's called by whoever that brunette's name is. :P (Katy Perry, just looked it up but wanted to illustrate how completely stupid I think this song is by not knowing her name). I think this song definitely illustrates the kissing a girl for a guy's attention more so than the actual kissing of a girl. This song doesn't speak pro-gay to me AT ALL. I would think this kind of attention, at the hoorah of male pleasure, is an insult to the gay community.

__________________
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

lostgirl

I totally agree with you, and I would not have done so had I not been so intoxicated.

I don't like to get that kind of attention. The girl was kissing, on the other hand, was probably doing it for that reason.

Bear Cub

I whole-heartedly encourage women to kiss each other. More so if they happen to be twin sisters. Man, that was a seriously great night.

__________________
Living in the United Socialist States of America.

Anormalguy

We've known some lesbian couples over the years. One thing they had in common was keeping the public displays of affection' to a minimum in order to avoid attention from creepy guys.

Excuse my ignorance (I'm a homebody, & usually avoid trendy nightclubs), but is girl-girl lip action in public that common, some kind of trend?

__________________
In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow

Nisses

huh huh, hey Beavis, he just said...

huh huh




sorry, couldn't resist

In each case, around here you usually see it happen at raves and big dance shows etc.
And it's clearly for the attention.

Like you said yourself, the lesbian couples themselves are bound to be impacted by this thing and restricted because of the creepy guys that're bound to pop up.

I'd think if they were really just curious, they would likely do it somewhere more private.

This just from what I've seen at the shows though.

__________________
Moderation should be moderately moderated.

abaya

Now mind your manners, since we appear to have several of those guys right here on TFP.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Nisses

Sorry mom

__________________
Moderation should be moderately moderated.

abaya

Hey, I'm not disagreeing with you! (about the creepiness)

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

little_tippler

I think this is quite a common thing and I know girls who do it for attention. Just to provoke guys, they think it's funny. Not particularly to attract them, more to throw them off.

I have kissed a girl. I don't find it particularly enjoyable. I did it just to try the once. I am very straight. Sometimes I think it would be more fun to be bi...just for variety.

I think this same-sex kissing for attention has no relevance to the gay community whatsoever. Guys like it, girls use it to their advantage. That is all. Since the norm is being straight, anything slightly outside that is considered titillating. I think this was mentioned in another thread in Sexuality recently: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-...el-guilty.html

I like Katy Perry's song, particularly the guitar riff. It's horny.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Bill O'Rights

Well...frankly...I'm one of 'em.

So, girls...take it from the creepy old guy over in the corner...if you pull "stunts", just to attract attention, you may not necessarily like the attention that you're going to attract.

Ok...after re-reading that, I think that it came off as a little more...threatening...than I had intended. I think that I'll stand by it, though.
Look, you wanna kiss another girl...Hey, have at it. But, if you put yourself in a position to be put on public display, remember...it's a big public.

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

Deltona Couple

OK, here is my take...

One: When one says they see girls kissing other girls on the dance floor as trying to get attention, I figure they are on the dance floor already to get attention with the way they tend to dance, I mean thats the idea isn't it? you get on the dance floor and dance to attract attention if you are single....now don't read too far into this, I am refering to girls who go out with their friends on the weekend, in most cases, they are out to look for men. Not sexually, but think about it, people go out to meet other people. I don't see girls OR guys going to a bar to meet other friends of the same sex; the idea is to meet opposite sex people to meet. Thats is the idea of going out for the MOST part, not always. So if two girls are kissing on the dance floor, it is to garner more specific attention from guys. I mean if there are 100 girls, and 100 guys in the bar, a girl can significantly increase their odds of getting attention if they are kissing another girl on the dance floor....so I see it as a way to increase their chances of meeting someone. Now it is up to the girl herself to weed out the guys who are not what they want.

Two:
As far as the "I kissed a Girl" song by Katy Perry: If you pay attention to the actual lyrics, she is NOT trying to play herself off as being gay or bi, as a matter-of-fact, the lyrics specifically state the exact opposite, that just because she DID kiss a girl out of curiosity, does NOT make her gay or bi. The idea behind the song is to debunk the thought that just because two girls are kissing on the dance floor, that they are bi or want that. She did it out of curiosity and that was it. That is what the song is about. On a side note, I think is was kinda strange that durring an interview with Katy Perry(born October 25th, 1984, which made her around 24 years old at the time of this comment) she was asked if she could actually kiss another girl for real, which she has said she has never done, who it would be, she stated that she would like to kiss Miley Cyrus(born November 3rd, 1992 making her 15 at this time). Now I don't know about you guys, but after making a comment like that days before the MTV Vma awards, then showing up in a limo together WITH Miley, It seems a little strange. Maybe trying to garner publicity?

__________________
"It is not that I have failed, but that I have found 10,000 ways that it DOESN'T work!" --Thomas Edison

Nisses

Deltona,

Don't you think it's the simplest way to subtle suggest they were kissing, thereby doing exactly what the girls in the dance clubs do?
It's exactly the same trick, without actually doing it I would think.

Don't pay too much attention to what singers/actors/... say or do when they are not performing. It's playing into their hands and they rarely have something interesting to say.

__________________
Moderation should be moderately moderated.

lotsofmagnets

my ex kissed a girl on the dancefloor and made sure it was photographed and made sure i got to see the photograph. the girl she kissed was really average and by that stage i´d lost any attraction to my ex so my reaction was understandably flat which made her go crazy. in the end a complete backfire.

__________________
mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

CinnamonGirl

I've kissed girls, but it was more for curiosity than attention. Except once... we promised our friend we'd make out if he gave us his keys (he was trashed, but insisting he was okay to drive.)

On Katy Perry: I checked out the song because it has the same title as a Jill Sobule song. KP's is okay... nice beat and all that, but I prefer JS's. And, as someone pointed out in a blog:

__________________
"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Bill O'Rights

Yeah...ok...I'm just gonna come out and say what every other guy in here is thinking.

This thread is totally useless without pictures.


Yay. I beat ratbastid to it.

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

ShaniFaye

you didnt quote me....that mean you dont wanna see the picture I have? huh? huh? huh?

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

PonyPotato

I have at least one photo. But I'm not going to post it.

__________________
"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel

lostgirl

I've never gone to a club to pick up guys. I go for the music, and I love to dance. I'm usually hiding in the shadows.

RangerJoe

I'll be completely honest... I've done this. An ex-friend of mine and I used to go to the clubs all the time when I was 20/21. We were broke, so we would make out with each other to get guys to by drinks for us. It worked. I'm not saying what we did was all right, but I'm a very open minded person. I probably would have done it outside of the bar. Wait, check that - I know I have. Those were some experimental days.

abaya

I appreciate honesty. Thanks, rj.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

ratbastid

... And I fought it so hard.

Shani: Of course!

Jinn

Of all the things that women can wear and say to get attention, I think this one is pretty benign. And I think it works pretty well.

__________________
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

snowy

I'm pretty sure I don't have any pictures. Generally, cameras are not allowed at our soirees.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Frosstbyte

Are we really going to roll our eyes and be scandalized by "creepy guys" watching two girls make out in a bar?

Are we going to be shocked next when guys look at a girl's tits when she's wearing a low cut top or her butt when she wears really tight jeans? Do girls wear clothes like that or dance provocatively with each other or kiss each other for some other reason than to look attractive, i.e. attracting attention? Why would it be anything but perfectly natural for a guy to be attracted to a girl doing any of those things?

Do the "creepy" comments come from the fact that you get attention from people you're not interested in who come on too strong? I mean, if you do things like that, you're casting a wide net. You're probably going to get more that you don't like than that you do like.

Personally, I hate bars and parties where this sort of nonsense is likely to happen, but the few times I've been around it, I've watched with everyone else. Spectacle is just that. Don't really see what the harm is.

inBOIL

Meh. It's not so great for pda-loving lesbians, but other that that I don't see it any differently than showing cleavage.

__________________
And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

canuckguy

I see nothing wrong with girls doing this to get attention. Whatever floats their boat, but i doubt they'll get the type of guys they were hoping for! Although I doubt two chicks making out on the dance floor are looking for a long term relationship man to saddle up and sweep her off her feet.

I'd post more but I guess I am a creep. Lovely.

/reaffirms why he does not post much anymore.

lostgirl

The guys that are creepy, are the ones who get too close, and or start trying to rub on you. They don't seem to take no for an answer.

I was a lot more crazy back then. I was just trying to figure myself out, like most girls in their teens.