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Telluride 03-16-2009 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RangerJoe (Post 2516271)
Men: What are your feelings on this? Have you ever met a woman with stretch marks and it changed your mind about her? What would you do if you DID meet a woman with a crap load of stretch marks? Would it affect you in any way?

It wouldn't bother me.

Borla 03-18-2009 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenna (Post 2517503)

But to be honest, if the person I'm having sex with really cares about my stretch marks, then more than likely, he/she not the right person for me. And I shouldn't be having sex with him/her in the first place, because I'm not perfect, and I want to be with someone who accepts me for who I am.

Bingo. :thumbsup:

Skitto 03-18-2009 10:26 PM

Skin is usually imperfect in some way, perfection is rare, stretchmarks can be surprising, but there are a lot of things it depends on. The biggest one for me is that it depends on IF I had a problem with them. IF they disturbed me somehow I'd hold it up against the girl's personality. Had kids and lost the guy? Responsible or immature with your children (note: this is my tested standard and I'm proud to keep it my own). Also it depends on how the girl feels about 'em. Be proud and you're likely to keep the better buck.

Embarrassing bit: I've got stretchmarks on me from doing yoga wrong.

belle_enigma 03-20-2009 07:18 PM

__________

blar 03-21-2009 01:49 PM

some guys care some don't

jimmy1s269 03-21-2009 01:55 PM

the wife has some stretch marks. most of hers are from our kids. she actually went 8 months with our first kid without getting any, then she stopped using the cream she had been using to try to prevent them and BAM!! there they were. still, they don't bother me. she actually had some as a teenager from going from an A cup to a C cup almost over night. don't mind those either. without them, there would be no huge boobs in my life. :D

the only time stretch marks have bothered me was walking through the grocery store one day this woman walked past me in a shirt that showed off her stomach, and she had stretch marks so bad it looked like she went from being a size 0 one night to having an alien abduct her and shove a bowling ball through her belly button over night. and on top of that she had been tanning so the skin that wasn't stretched was dark and the stretch marks were pasty white. man, that lady was just nasty.

duskytip 03-21-2009 05:07 PM

Not a big deal. if I am into you, I am into ALL of you despite your self perceived imperfections.

777 03-21-2009 10:31 PM

Well RJ, you can always cover them up with tatoos :)

JK

Although I don't have much under my clothes to worry about, I do have a huge mole. In fact, I have 3 moles, and they're on my face. Over an eye brow, on my cheek, and near my lip. I never noticed how noticeble they were until a friend from high school drew a sketch of me. There was this massive ink blot between my nose and lip! After a time, I forgot about it, and the girls I've been with never said anything. It was all in my head.

Perfection is for books, movies, and magazine ads. Sometimes, those aren't perfect either. Now everyone remembers the film 300, where are fearless Spartans are wearing nothing but a helm, shield, cape, and leather bikini for protection, and to scare off their enemies with their godlike physique. Well, I have news for you, even that wasn't real! There's a scene where one of the Spartans lands from a jump, and you can see his Six-Pack abs jiggle. "Huh?" you ask, "How is that possible?" With the magic of an air brush, those abs can be painted on by the make-up artist.

This is also done when a model is needed for those exercise gadgets, where the athletic woman's tummy picture, and nothing else. A friend of mine first pointed that out when he was told about it from a gal he knows that does costuming in Hollywood on for theatre too. She was on set when a thin model from those Doritos commercials was hired for some ab thingy machine, and they painted abs on her "I starve myself for this body" stomach.

Sherk 03-24-2009 08:22 AM

Stretch marks are by no means a deal breaker - no one can be that perfect. Who cares? I have some, under my arms, from weight training. I also have some around my stomach area... too many beers and good food! Now that I've reclaimed my former size, they're present. No one has complained, though.

ShaniFaye 03-24-2009 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 777 (Post 2611921)
Well RJ, you can always cover them up with tatoos :)

worst tat pain I ever had was getting one over stretch marks....and if it hurt ME thats saying a lot lol

Cimarron29414 03-24-2009 11:15 AM

RangerJoe:

You are giving men far to much credit for any level of thought prior to copulation. For example, my favorite pair of boobs are the ones I get to play with....I find it impossible to find fault in the woman who has my penis in her mouth....The nicest ass in the world is the one I'm looking down at....I could go on and on. Fact is, a man just wants a woman who's comfortable in her own skin and who truly enjoys sex. It really doesn't matter if that skin has some "history".

jimmy1s269 03-24-2009 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cimarron29414 (Post 2613027)
RangerJoe:

You are giving men far to much credit for any level of thought prior to copulation. For example, my favorite pair of boobs are the ones I get to play with....I find it impossible to find fault in the woman who has my penis in her mouth....The nicest ass in the world is the one I'm looking down at....I could go on and on. Fact is, a man just wants a woman who's comfortable in her own skin and who truly enjoys sex. It really doesn't matter if that skin has some "history".

Cimarron said this quite well. I love Marisa Miller but by god, she ain't never going to sleep with me. But when I am with my wife, who ain't Marisa for sure, it doesnt matter at all. She is the one I want to be with and she is the one i am with, stretch marks, left over baby weight and all.

Brittnii 03-29-2009 10:36 AM

This whole thing makes me feel so much better.

I always felt like my stretch marks were worse then everyone elses.
They're on my chest and up my sides starting at my hip and meet in both directions. I didn't inherit nice stretchy skin from either side of my family.

blar 03-30-2009 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cimarron29414 (Post 2613027)
RangerJoe:

You are giving men far to much credit for any level of thought prior to copulation. For example, my favorite pair of boobs are the ones I get to play with....I find it impossible to find fault in the woman who has my penis in her mouth....The nicest ass in the world is the one I'm looking down at....I could go on and on. Fact is, a man just wants a woman who's comfortable in her own skin and who truly enjoys sex. It really doesn't matter if that skin has some "history".

lol saying this is like saying a women would not see any fault in any man regardless of his penis size and height etc etc that doesn't

and happen as often as it should

sprintex 04-01-2009 09:44 PM

hey, those are some sexy photo's, if you have the confidence to do those pic's, rise above the stretch marks and bugger anyone who has an issue with them

newone321 04-19-2009 03:10 AM

I`m 21, Single, skinny and was never overweight. I got stretch marks on my back, buttocks and now they`re starting to appear on my arms. I wish they`d disappear. I feel embarassed to take my shirt off on the beach. I`ve heard that they naturally disappear.

---------- Post added at 03:10 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:05 AM ----------

Many celebrities have them too if that helps. :)

Plan9 04-19-2009 08:03 AM

Ugh, I've got stretchmarks on my legs up by my hips and under my arms where my pecs meet my shoulders... all from my roller coaster attempts at putting on muscle mass. I'm not worried about them being ugly... I'm worried about the tissue tearing open the next time my scrawny ass tries to bench 225.

It would be foolish for me or anyone else to assume that the biological explosion that occurs when girls become women and when women gain weight or go through the screaming-mini-bastard process that the body is going to return back to its original state. Our bodies are amazing things, capable of so much adaptation... but let's not let airbrushed Playboy models confuse us as to the reality of the situation.

My exwife had a unique skin condition that nearly reduced the elastic effect of her skin to nothing. She was so afraid of becoming a stretch-marked, wrinkly creature even in her late twenties. She, like many, is much harder on herself about her perceived physical flaws than any partner would be.

Beauty is not finding a perfect human assembly... no, I feel beauty is in the unique pattern of imperfections that make up an individual by definition: unique. Makes me think about military records and police reports. They have a block for identifying marks: scars, tattoos, moles... imperfections that make you stand out. Everybody has similar features, and our 15 pieces of unique aren't all external.

I guess my feeling is, much like ManicSkafe said in the beginning of the thread, that confidence beats all. A sultry look and a cocky remark erases any physical limitations. Take me to bed, you suave toothless circus midget! Unless you're a heartless fuck-machine (you know who you are!), you're probably with X partner because you find the contents of their skull as appealing as the contents of their thong and you're not as superficial as to ignore the former because of the latter. I've experienced this focus over and over again and it makes me feel like maybe I'm not such an asshole all the time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Henry Rollins
[I don't care what you look like... I just want a woman that'll sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten things I didn't know already and make me laugh. If you can do that? I'll follow you on bloody stumps through the snow.]

...

Quote:

Originally Posted by clavus (Post 2516767)
I'd rather see the stretch marks than fuck in the dark.

Oh, yessir.

Shaindra 04-19-2009 12:02 PM

I dated a guy who was 10 years older than I am. He looked every one of his years, balding and overweight. I've also dated guys who were 15 years younger than I am. I'm generally regarded as looking between 5 and 10 years younger than I am. Having had two kids, I have the stretchmarks to mark that period of my life when I was busy growing a life. I never really gave it much thought, anymore than I gave thought to the smattering of freckles on my chest, or the scar on my leg from when I fell riding a bike as a kid. Just part of me.

It was the older guy, who, after a romp, asked me if I'd considered lasering my stretchmarks. He had also asked me on another occasion if I'd considered getting my boobs done. Now, you can pick on me about the 10 or so extra pounds I carry and I might sulk. But my breasts are pretty damn good for anyone, nevermind someone who nursed two kids into toddlerhood. And I already mentioned that the stretchmarks didn't bother me. They never seemed to bother my younger lovers either.

I could've become very insecure about my stretchmarks. But why? We're all aging. True, some of us better than others. Physical perfection doesn't exist outside of airbrushed magazines and carefully prepared moviestars. And they only portray perfection. Anyone in the business will tell you the work that goes into making someone look that good.

And then I think about my lovers. The ones that made my pulse race and my skin flush. None of them were physically perfect. In fact, I've dated guys who were amazingly attractive...but my body knew and didn't respond the same way. Attraction isn't as simple as a perfect face or body. So I assume it's the same for the men I date. If I "do it for them" it won't be because or in spite of some physical imperfections. It just is. I accept it as my due and enjoy it accordingly. If you focus on how you make someone feel...and how they make you feel...there is precious little room left over for worrying about stretchmarks or wobbly bits.

blar 04-19-2009 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by belle_enigma (Post 2611563)
Yeah I have some stretch marks, but guys don't really seem to notice them and if they do... they really don't care. They're probably more worried about pleasing you honestly, so don't worry.

lol a guy should not worry about their body / parts because a girl is more worried about her body and if the guy likes it

and a girl should nto worry abotu her body because a guy is more worried about what the girl thinks about his penis etc etc

all these "sayings" makes it seem society is one big pool of shallowness where everyone expects their partner to be perfect or things they are perfect

Tully Mars 04-20-2009 03:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shaindra (Post 2625983)
I dated a guy who was 10 years older than I am. He looked every one of his years, balding and overweight. I've also dated guys who were 15 years younger than I am. I'm generally regarded as looking between 5 and 10 years younger than I am. Having had two kids, I have the stretchmarks to mark that period of my life when I was busy growing a life. I never really gave it much thought, anymore than I gave thought to the smattering of freckles on my chest, or the scar on my leg from when I fell riding a bike as a kid. Just part of me.

It was the older guy, who, after a romp, asked me if I'd considered lasering my stretchmarks. He had also asked me on another occasion if I'd considered getting my boobs done. Now, you can pick on me about the 10 or so extra pounds I carry and I might sulk. But my breasts are pretty damn good for anyone, nevermind someone who nursed two kids into toddlerhood. And I already mentioned that the stretchmarks didn't bother me. They never seemed to bother my younger lovers either.

I could've become very insecure about my stretchmarks. But why? We're all aging. True, some of us better than others. Physical perfection doesn't exist outside of airbrushed magazines and carefully prepared moviestars. And they only portray perfection. Anyone in the business will tell you the work that goes into making someone look that good.

And then I think about my lovers. The ones that made my pulse race and my skin flush. None of them were physically perfect. In fact, I've dated guys who were amazingly attractive...but my body knew and didn't respond the same way. Attraction isn't as simple as a perfect face or body. So I assume it's the same for the men I date. If I "do it for them" it won't be because or in spite of some physical imperfections. It just is. I accept it as my due and enjoy it accordingly. If you focus on how you make someone feel...and how they make you feel...there is precious little room left over for worrying about stretchmarks or wobbly bits.


So it was the old, fat, bald guy that thought you needed work? Umm, ok.

Shaindra 04-20-2009 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tully Mars (Post 2626179)
So it was the old, fat, bald guy that thought you needed work? Umm, ok.

Yes it was. And his focus on the relatively minor imperfections of my body told me that he would *not* be comfortable with me aging with any degree of grace and therefore was not an option for any kind of long-term situation.

I did find it quite amusing that the younger guys were just thrilled to have someone who didn't care what she looked like, even with the lights on and contorted in some rather unflattering positions.

Jimellow 04-20-2009 08:10 PM

Humans are unique. Generally I think the individual puts more emphasis on what it is that makes them different and assumes it will be an issue for others instead of letting them decide for themselves. Confidence also plays a role here, as you are entering a situation with lowered confidence as a result of you assuming the worst of others and their reaction to whatever trait it is that you're concerned about.

In reality, there are those that are bothered by these things, and those that aren't. If nothing else, it serves as a nice filter to find genuinely good people who like you for who you are, while exposing those that are superficial and likely to place added emphasis on these things.

People have flaws. That's what makes us people. It's normal to be insecure about these things, but generally it's blown out of proportion in one's mind, and then projected onto the presumed reactions of others, which often turns out to be false and unjustified.

Are there superficial people out there that care solely about looks? Yep, there sure are. But you likely don't want to be with them anyway, so be yourself and you'll find those that you're genuinely interested in, and they you.

newone321 04-21-2009 09:55 AM

Shaindra, that older guy sounds like an a$$ h***e. I accidentally might have reported your post just now. I thought that REP is for reply. Sorry about that.

---------- Post added at 09:55 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:52 AM ----------

Good Post Jimellow.

raptor9k 04-21-2009 10:09 AM

deleted

blar 04-25-2009 06:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shaindra (Post 2626566)
Yes it was. And his focus on the relatively minor imperfections of my body told me that he would *not* be comfortable with me aging with any degree of grace and therefore was not an option for any kind of long-term situation.

I did find it quite amusing that the younger guys were just thrilled to have someone who didn't care what she looked like, even with the lights on and contorted in some rather unflattering positions.

that's the first time I ever heard of this

I always hear people say their younger partners expected their partners (male or female) to have perfect bodies while the older ones didn't put any thought to it.

Shaindra 04-25-2009 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blar (Post 2628454)
that's the first time I ever heard of this

I always hear people say their younger partners expected their partners (male or female) to have perfect bodies while the older ones didn't put any thought to it.

It may be different for older guys who date younger women. My experience has been, my younger lovers have been universally enthusiastic about my less-than-perfect body. Of course, they've also been pretty enthusiastic about what I *do* with my less-than-perfect body. And it has nothing to do with hiding under the covers, lights out, and laying there until it's over. :thumbsup:

blar 04-27-2009 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shaindra (Post 2628482)
It may be different for older guys who date younger women. My experience has been, my younger lovers have been universally enthusiastic about my less-than-perfect body. Of course, they've also been pretty enthusiastic about what I *do* with my less-than-perfect body. And it has nothing to do with hiding under the covers, lights out, and laying there until it's over. :thumbsup:

hopefully you accept their non perfect body/parts as well:thumbsup:

Shaindra 04-28-2009 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blar (Post 2629175)
hopefully you accept their non perfect body/parts as well:thumbsup:

My ex was over 400lbs. I think I do just fine cutting my partners some slack. :thumbsup:

Plan9 04-28-2009 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shaindra (Post 2629896)
My ex was over 400lbs. I think I do just fine cutting my partners some slack. :thumbsup:

:eek: That shouldn't be legal.

Shaindra 04-29-2009 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin (Post 2629956)
:eek: That shouldn't be legal.

Let's just say that where there's a will, there's a way. And it's a damn good thing I've got a strong will.

SadnConfused223 10-17-2009 12:42 PM

Well i have sterch marks on my back and thighs and shouldera! doctors said grew to fast for my body i was never overweight or anything! i Actually have a nice body but i have sterch marks! They do bring down my self esteem and i have had sex before but never really enjoyed it becuase of my sterch marks i was to worryied about them! i guess im trying to ask is if i tell i girl i have them will she reject me or what im really confused im yet to find a girl that has sterch marks too on her body!

sbscout 10-17-2009 02:25 PM

"What would you do if you DID meet a woman with a crap load of stretch marks? Would it affect you in any way?

If she doesn't throw my imperfect body out of bed, neither will I. :)

FuglyStick 10-17-2009 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RangerJoe (Post 2516271)
(Note: I did a search and although there were a few threads about stretch marks, none either went for the topic I desired or there were not enough responses. I am also putting this in sexuality instead of Ladies' Lounge because I would like some guy input here.)

Okay, so let me get real with all my TFPer's for a second: I am covered with stretch marks. It's not rare for someone to have them after severe weight loss (I've had 2 kids... with my second, I got up to 220lbs, then lost most of it almost immediately). It's common for them to be on the back of the arms, thighs, and breasts. Even a few on the stomach are acceptable. My problem is that my stomach is BAD. I also have them on the area above my vagina (Hmmm... pelvis?) and my hips.

Now, you may be thinking... "What stretch marks? I've seen those pictures!" But, if you think about it, I don't really take pictures of my stomach, and if I do, it's more than likely blurry, and that's the only reason why I posted it.

Anyways, so I'm sitting here thinking about what I'm going to do the next time I'm having sex with a guy. I'm not keen on putting it all out there... it's ugly! I also know that there are some guys out there that are going to be like... ew. Normally, I just have sex in the dark. Honestly, I really can't remember the last time I had sex with any kind of light around... But, this isn't going to work forever. I need to be able to get comfortable with myself like this and find me a man who is also comfortable with me like this.

So, here's the part where you come in. Tell me your opinions on the subject. Ladies: Have you encountered this problem? Have you met a guy and he saw your stretch marks and had a reaction, good or bad?

Men: What are your feelings on this? Have you ever met a woman with stretch marks and it changed your mind about her? What would you do if you DID meet a woman with a crap load of stretch marks? Would it affect you in any way?

(:

(Pardon the rambling, by the way.)

I see this thread was started over a year ago. I think it's safe to say that stretch marks were not much of an obstacle. :thumbsup:

Daniel_ 10-17-2009 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sbscout (Post 2718037)
"What would you do if you DID meet a woman with a crap load of stretch marks? Would it affect you in any way?

If she doesn't throw my imperfect body out of bed, neither will I. :)

That's the point. If a lady wants to let me see her naked, I'm never going to say anything bad.

GreyWolf 10-18-2009 05:06 AM

My wife has stretch marks... both from weight gain/loss & from pregnancy (ok, that's pretty much the same thing).

I honestly never noticed them until she pointed them out to me. And as others have said... if she can put up with my body, I'm sure not going to complain about hers ;)

surferlove007 10-18-2009 12:54 PM

I personally don't have stretch marks however I do have scars from having some *possible* precancerous moles removed. One thing Matt has told me is he likes seeing my scars because it reminds him that I'm a still a person and not perfect.

Although I don't particularly care for stretch marks I don't judge people by them. Everyone has imperfections, it's just part of the journey in life. I like that with such things on a person's body it tells a story of where they've been etc. I think you're being very honest by admitting that you don't like them, a lot of people would say that's just being vain. There are definitely things I don't care for on myself, I think it's great you're looking for more opinions to redefine your own personal opinion and work past this issue to see the beautiful you that is already there.

Have you looked into the various lotions they have that work to lessen the appearance of stretch marks? Like the others, being with someone you can't trust to see you in the light is going to be hard on your relationship and any future ones. I've found that accepting what you've got and working it is the best answer. I'm not a size 0, I never will be. That's fine, I'm with a man who loves me for how I am. Stretch marks? I don't have them now however I bet someday in the next couple years I'll have them after I have kids and I'll understand more of what people with them go there. No worries!


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