kate jack

Do you ever use sex or sexual acts (oral sex, etc) in exchange for something?



We might, on occasion, trade favors for a run to DQ.

We're kidding around, though. Mind you, my SO will usually go anyway - we like ice cream.

Willravel

If sex were a currency, I'd be a millionaire.

But seriously, sex, for me, is an experience to be shared in tandem with a deep emotional connection. Without that connection, and it's various intellectual and emotional effects, it seems more like masturbation with a woman instead of a hand. That doesn't interest me. In other words, using sex as currency would be empty and cheapen something that can be quite meaningful.

Miss Mango

Blowjobs for backrubs. Heh. That\'s about it, though.

Daniel_

I'll rub your back, miss.

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Cernunnos

I've exchanged sex for various favors in the past, but there was already a mutual desire to get it on. She enjoyed being taken advantage of, and I wasn't one to turn her down - readily obliging and having a very nice time of it.

There's nothing wrong with using sex to obtain what one wishes, assuming you are not deceiving the other person into believing that your intentions are out of love. Don't lead them on if you're a decent human being, because you'll eventually have to let them down.

When in a loving relationship, I see no reason not to tease eachother and fool around in a way that resembles currency exchange. You know it's for play only, and hey, if you really want that dress (and he really wants that blowjob), go ahead and earn it.

soma

The last girl I dated told me about how she was offered cheaper rent if she had sex with the land lord.

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Manic_Skafe

Never really thought about it but I'll certainly start now.

I wonder how many nights in a row I'll have to cook dinner to score some anal.

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imkeen

..

healer

That gave me a chuckle...and an idea.

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Push-Pull

Oh yeah, I can't remember how many $20, $50, and $100 bills I've gone through with the wife. We've always played around like that, at least until our financial situation stopped the practice. There were plenty of times that I just wanted a sloppy BJ, and she wanted some spending money for the next day. One time I showed up with a small stack of $5 bills, and we played "private strip club back room" in our bedroom. Then there was the time we played "Escort service" for Valentine's day and I "paid" for her services. By and large, it was just a mutual exchange of things that we would have done for one another anyway. But we had talked about this not too long ago, and she kinda surprised me when she told me that the money was helpful in "allowing" (justifying?) her to do things that she wouldn't normally have done but was really just shy about trying. Of course this brought things to a new level between us.

Actually, now that I think about it, mebbe it's time to dust this trick off. The money situation is improving, and sexually, things between us have definitely gotten better, not to mention our relationship has matured through all this. Hmmmmm, I've got some planning to do! ;-)

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Jinn

Was the landlord named Mike? Mike's Apartment?

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dlish

if thats a front runner for TFP quote of FOREVER, then i dont know what is

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inBOIL

Now there's an idea for the monthly awards; Tilted Quote of the Month.

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digme

I would be willing to trade for lots of things. But she won't admit to wanting anything.

sleepygirl

I really like this idea, in a flirting and humorous way. I would love to tell my SO he will get a blow job if he takes the trash out, washes my car or mows the lawn. It's likely that once we set the "price" I would not be able stay away from him long enough for him to finish his chore and he will get his reward anyway. In the same way, I feel cooking great meals and other household chores on my part should be rewarded as well, goes both ways. My SO will tell me what a good girl I have been and I deserve my "pay".
I know he will love reading this, enjoy baby.

Willravel

Aww man, why does soma get a pass on a sexism lecture?

thespian86

I traded my man love for a sandwich today; turkey.

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MSD

I'd be afraid that if I put a price on sex, inflation would not have the desired effect on my penis.

But seriously, no, I wouldn't bribe someone with the possibility of sexual favors. I'm not particularly conservative about sexuality, but I at least want the woman to do it because she wants to.
There's an old memorable quotes thread I posted in either GD or MP that's probably still around.

abaya

I'm pretty firmly set against sex being anything other than sex... no trading for anything, no holding out on sex in order to punish, etc.

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soma

er... not sure. I wasn't given very many details.

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Ayashe

I would have to agree with you there, but it can be used in a very enjoyable way.

Ilow

I think it's fun for things that the individuals would pretty much do anyway, but I would totally dig a cook dinner for nookie relationship. The problem is that there are times when you a) want someone to cook dinner without further expectations, or b) want sex without having it tied to a particular chore or whatever. So given this I would say it is a good, fun idea if used judiciously.

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Poppinjay

What about you, Kate?

Me, I'm all satisfied, so far. But part of the participation is the poster offering what she/he has been through.

Married sex can be totally fun introducing different elements.

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kate jack

And...

My SO and I drive through this little town that is a notorious speed trap on occasion. So we make bets on who sees the first cop. Winner gets oral sex. I won last time.

Toaster126

I'm against this sort of thing on general moral principle. Sex is free, or at least should be, as much as any human interaction is free. Don't get me started on withholding it or using it as a weapon/negative force...

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speshul-k

I've thought about the concept but never really put it into action.
Certainly food for thought and something I would like to try some day!

Kpax

LOL, LOL, LOL... I'm glad I read this question thoroughly. I thought it was "in general," which is illegal. Oh, if it were that easy...

UKking

I came across this article and thought of this thread.....

Bartering sex for stuff or services

While she was studying in Brazil during college, the one thing Stephanie Gerson longed to do before leaving was spend time in the thick of the Amazon rain forest. Unfortunately, she couldn't find a tour that would take her past the forest's edge.

So, when a college-aged busboy at a resort she was visiting began flirting with her, she asked him if he thought a tourist could survive alone in the jungle.

"He laughed and told me I was nuts," says Gerson, 27, who works part-time in online marketing for a chocolate company in San Francisco.

Then he told her that he'd grown up in the jungle in a nearby indigenous community. That was all Gerson needed to hear. Although she wasn't attracted to the guy, Gerson flirted right back in the hopes that he would be her jungle tour guide. It worked. The busboy wormed his way out of work, and the two headed into the rain forest.

"It was amazing," Gerson says of her adventure in 2000. "We built our homes out of palm leaves, I saw animals I'd never seen before, he taught me the medicinal properties of all the plants, we picked fruit off the trees, we swam with and ate piranhas. And, of course, we had sex ... for almost two weeks."

Body currency system

Gerson never felt sleazy or uncomfortable with her unspoken arrangement with the busboy.

"It was a good barter both ways," she says. "I got to stay in the jungle, and he got to have sex with a cute, young American girl."

Such trades aren't so unusual. Throughout history, humans have used their bodies to get what they want -- from ancient Egyptian ruler Cleopatra, who cemented her power through liaisons with Roman rulers Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, to the man and woman who were arrested at a Fort Wright, Kentucky, motel in late June for allegedly swapping sex for gasoline. Regardless of our motivation, scientists say we're hardwired to use our bodies as a bargaining chip.

A recent study of 475 University of Michigan undergraduates ages 17 to 26 found that 27 percent of the men and 14 percent of the women who weren't in a committed relationship had offered someone favors or gifts -- help prepping for a test, laundry washing, tickets to a college football game -- in exchange for sex. On the flip side, 5 percent of the men surveyed and 9 percent of the women said they'd attempted to trade sex for such freebies.

And although they weren't hard up for resources, the students surveyed "recognized the value of this socioeconomic currency system," says Daniel Kruger, research scientist at the University of Michigan School of Public Health, who published his findings in the April issue of "Evolutionary Psychology."

"It's more about getting what you want than getting what you need," he says. "Unless you think everyone needs a $200 Louis Vuitton bag."

The handyman hookup

But unattached coeds aren't the only ones who barter with their bodies. Some professionals will attest that their skills are, well, sexy.

"Women are turned on just by the simple idea of their guy getting off his ass and doing something for them," says Rocky Fino, author of "Will Cook for Sex: A Guy's Guide to Cooking."

It works both ways, he adds.

"Give it to me first thing in the morning, and I'll play [handyman] all day," says Fino, a 39-year-old father of two and part-time construction worker.

Ben Corbett, a 39-year-old contractor from Boulder, Colorado, credits his tool belt with prompting the barrage of come-ons he fields from female clients -- most of them married -- on a regular basis.

"It starts with the flirting, and it just progresses," says Corbett, who has run a construction and remodeling business for 20 years. "They'll touch my hand, and there's all this physical contact. Or they'll run around in their pajamas."

"Once," he says, "I was painting the hallway right outside a client's bedroom, and she was lying on her bed like a girl at a slumber party with her legs up and her arms crossed and her head resting on them, asking me if I had a girlfriend.

"It's all about the fantasy of being taken by the rough-hewn construction guy," muses Corbett, who, despite the temptation, has avoided getting sexually involved with his clientele for fear of jeopardizing his business.

It's the biology, stupid

Call it crass, sexist or gender stereotyping all you want, but there are thousands of years of biological programming at work here, says Dr. Chris Fariello, director of the Institute for Sex Therapy at the Council for Relationships, a nonprofit relationship-counseling group based in Philadelphia.

Plain and simple, a partner who provides more resources -- wealth, shelter, home repairs -- is seen as more attractive and stands to reap more sexual rewards.

Or, as Fariello puts it, "I don't get anybody in my office who says, 'My husband sits on the couch all day and eats bonbons, and I want to have sex with him all the time.'"