The_Jazz

A friend of mine sent me a link to this site because it's pretty funny:

On The Ropes: Shooting for the Semen Distance World Record

It's a funny read if you have a moment. But it brought up a bigger question in my mind: why does anyone care?

Honestly, I just don't get it. I know that porn movies are all about showing the money shot (hence the name) and that some of the guys bounce semen off the ceiling. But from an evolutionary sense, I don't see where it would give them an advantage. I get big boobs = better nurturer and all that, but of all the things to worry about sexually, this one just makes no sense to me.

So can someone explain it? And at the same time, can you let me know why the volume matters? Preferably in small words since we all know I'm not that bright.

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Ourcrazymodern?

Ah, don't go all humble all of a sudden...when ejaculate is released where it "belongs", I think neither distance nor volume matter very much-hell, viable sperm can swim.
If it's a sight-based thing, though, that folks are paying money for, they want to see more.
I trust you won't criticize my thinking in this response, Jazz.

vanblah

I'd think that volume would mean a greater chance at fertilization.

As for distance, it would place your sperm further into the vagina than the previous guy (or next guy).

The_Jazz

No, not at all. But what I'm really wondering is why the general population that is NOT porn actors would care about their own distance or volume. If you're actively trying to procreate, that's one thing, but if it's an ego thing, I just don't get it.

I'm right there with you that when it's going where it's designed to go, it matters not at all. But if you're not shooting loads for a living, why do you care? There's apparently a cottage industry of folks making pills to take to increase distance and amount, but who's buying the stuff? Surely there aren't enough porn actors out there to keep these folks afloat.

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Halx

Different strokes.. you know. Some of us find it rather HOT. Consider this hypothetical formula:

angle rating * (virility + arousal + preparation) = distance

Its like saying.. "Wow, I tried to just get it on your feet, but I ended up getting your face. I must have been really turned on."

Lets break down the formula:

Angle rating is all I could come up with to describe the variable of what direction you're shooting in. Obviously, some angles are better than others, so they have to have a rating. I figure a 35 degree upward angle is ideal for distance.

Virility is a measurement of your physical shape and functioning of your sexual organs. Obviously, if you're in shape where it counts, then the force of the spunk exiting your body will be higher.

Arousal is obvious. I find that the more turned on I am, the farther it goes. I hope everyone else has the same conclusion.

Preparation is akin to all that hoopla the author of your little link went through to ensure that he threw his goo farther. This could include dietary supplements, masturbation methods, and length of sexual activity.

All of this culminates into an orgasm, after which you can stand back and observe your trail of destruction and pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

That's why it matters.

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The_Jazz

Agreed, but unless you're trying to fertilize that egg, what's the point? I have a hard time buying the reproduction angle since I think anyone who needs this kind of help is under a doctor's care already.

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Starkizzer

From a female perspective, I don't really care about distance other than the fact that its funny when hes aiming for my face or breasts and I can hear it whizz past my ear and smack the wall.

Now volume on the other hand, and this may just be psychological, but I feel like I did a really good job if there is a lot. To me it means I have had him worked up for a good while and the release is huge. None of this may actually hold any real meaning, but its fun for us.

So all in all in both matters its just kinda an added "novelty" to sex that makes it fun.

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vanblah

We care because that's what mother nature intended for us to care about. It's just wired in (sort of akin to the size issue). Of course, we also have the ability to NOT care because we have a massive fore-brain that tries to control our animal side.

Deep down the reason for sex is always for procreation. Yes, we have sex for fun, too, but that's just a by-product of the real reason.

snowy

For me, watching such a thing in porn usually comes across as humorous or gross--it's never a turn-on, and it's never something I would deliberately seek out. Invariably one of these huge cums happens as part of watching pornography, and we always laugh or "ew" when it happens. What's really bad is when it's obviously fake and they used some sort of assistance to either increase the volume or get the load to shoot farther. What I really hate are the huge fake loads that just coat a woman in semen. Yuck.

But no, I don't think it matters. I don't care.

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Bill O'Rights

We could always lobby for a new Olympics event. VV

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Cynthetiq

dammit.. now when I see your screenname I see... The_Jizz...

and yeah, I don't see how it matters, I guess it does to some, especially those who use the porn industry as a meter stick for how the mechanics of sex work.

but nothing is less exciting that seeing the money shot just dribble out like a leaky faucet.

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Willravel

They have too much time on their hands. And on their faces and in their hair, too.

abaya

Well, it's not the reproduction angle (har har), it's natural selection... men who can shoot their sperm as high and far as possible into the vagina, are more likely to have more offspring, which means that their genes get carried into the next generation.

Now, as for why it became such a central part of porn, I don't know... but seeing one's own jizz flying high through the air and landing on a woman's body seems to be a turn on for most men, so I'm not terribly surprised. I don't claim to understand it, though.

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The_Jazz

Best use of that smiley ever. You just need to tinker with it a touch to get it, um, whiter.

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Willravel

I found the smiley I was looking for:

kutulu

Does it really matter? No. It's still fun though. I always pull out with my wife (she is an expert at tracking her cycle). There is just something fun about pulling out and having it shoot over her head.

Redlemon

Assuming no issues with air resistance, 45 degrees. Given the distances involved, I think we can discount air resistance.

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biznatch

Can I get a skeet skeet?

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girldetective

I had no idea these things were measured.

Thinking about it though, I suppose volume may be measured for medical purposes, but distance?! I dont know. For fun or sport? Sort of like the discus or shotput?

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Bill O'Rights

For sport!
Just think of Bob Costas doing the comentary on that event. But...what to call it?
I know! The 1 meter jizzput.

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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

Redlemon

And now I'm wondering what the field of play looks like. Do they do the boring thing and put a tape measure on the ground? Or do they do the fun thing, and put a bunch of naked 5 foot tall women* end to end and measure the distance as "two women and a bellybutton"? Would the second option increase distances?

*for ease of measurement

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healer

I've always secretly wanted more volume and distance. For it's just a visual thing. Being able to cover her with cum from a meter away would definitely be a plus in my book.

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Redlemon

When I cum, I'd rather be closer to her than that. Do you run away just before you cum? Or is Mandy making a break for it?

Of course, if you have too much velocity and you are too close, you might get splashback.

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The_Jazz

See, if there is an actual competition with rules, playing fields and whatnot, I'm all for it. That said, I think that my OP refers to a clear performance enhancer.

And I'm pretty sure one does not "putt" jizz. I think the "spunk toss" might have a nice ring to it. And does accuracy count?

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ruggerp11

For myself I find that it's more a matter of how much I've been teased, how close I've come (to cumming!) and pulled back again. If I do that over and over again then I'm punching a hole in the wall behind her!

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genuinegirly

No. It doesn't matter.
It is not a turn on for me.

I suppose at most it's just another way to infuse a bit of fun and competition into life.

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ratbastid

My vote is for "yogurt chucking".

Acetylene

More forceful and voluminous ejaculations feel better on my end, but maybe it s unusual that I can feel the difference. I've never heard any other women comment on it. It is nice to have enough in there that I can feel it still there after he leaves. I can't answer why someone would care about how far they could squirt OUTSIDE a woman, though, except as a simple way of measuring how forceful it was.

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ItWasMe

My kids are wondering why I am laughing so hard. Thanks.

Oh, come on. When I was growing up, boys were always trying to one-up each other. You never had 'manly' contests when you were a kid to see who could spit the farthest? I think this is the same kind of thing, on a different level. I don't see the point in either contest, but I figured it's because I'm a girl.

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Jenna

Quantity is better than distance in my opinion.

UKking

I'd be more impressed with accuracy.

Impregnate a woman at ten paces.


THAT would be something!...

lotsofmagnets

this looks like something that might end up in the hall of fame.

i seriously don´t see it mattering from a biological perspective unless you want to turn your sperm into lethal weapons that "shoot" the egg. the other option is to race past the sperm of the last guy.

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MEAD

I've always wished for more distance (not a shooter at all), but I figured it was never a huge turn on for most women, as it's just a sticky mess for them. However, I'm still trying to figure out how to get my spunk really flying

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ItWasMe

You guys crack me up.
This reminds me of the joke "Why does it take a million sperm to fertilize one egg?"
Answer: "They refuse to stop and ask for directions."

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levite

I don't think I've actually measured how far I could shoot it since I was in Middle School or so. Usually if I'm with a girl, I come inside her (or at least inside the condom): pulling out always seemed like too much hassle. The only times I don't are when I've been tit-fucking a girl, and given her a pearl necklace at the end. But you don't really get distance in that situation.... And if I'm on my own, I usually shoot into a tissue, since I'm too lazy to want to go jizz-hunting during the clean-up afterward....

I do recall being able to get some fair distance, now that I think about it; and I've always been very plentiful, volume-wise.... I can't think why it would matter....

As for making it an Olympic Sport.... Well, hell, why not? It'd be more interesting than curling, anyway....

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inBOIL

Hmmm.... with sufficient distance, and the right hand/wrist positioning, you might be able to convince someone you're Spiderman.

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..

ASU2003

It probably would involve exercising your kegal muscles a few times a day. Also try to stop before you ejaculate once or twice. When you finish the next time, it will go further.

little_tippler

ok, I guess I'm the only lady who's going to go ahead and say I find it a huge turn on.

Yes, I do. It's like a measure of intensity for me...I'm sure it's just psychological but I definitely like the visual. I think it's HOT.

No explanation...but just writing these few lines has got me in the mood...

Whaat? I like cum. So sue me.

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PonyPotato

blah

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