Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Sexuality


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-25-2008, 03:04 PM   #1 (permalink)
Banned
 
Zeraph's Avatar
 
Location: The Cosmos
looks vs personality

I'm trying to find a reasonable balance in my dates. Where do you draw the line? Especially in regards to attractiveness?

There's this woman, she's very cool. My body reacts to her (read: I get hard) but I don't really enjoy kissing her. Is her personality enough? Will I learn to be more attracted to her as we spend more time together? How much is enough?

::sigh::
Zeraph is offline  
Old 06-25-2008, 03:41 PM   #2 (permalink)
Comment or else!!
 
KellyC's Avatar
 
Location: Home sweet home
I have to physically attracted to a girl to date her, personality alone won't suffice.
__________________
Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.
KellyC is offline  
Old 06-25-2008, 03:46 PM   #3 (permalink)
Young Crumudgeon
 
Martian's Avatar
 
Location: Canada
Personality is great for friends. Physical appeal is great for fuck buddies.

I don't believe in forcing it. Find someone who satisfies your criteria in both categories.

I'm single. Take that how you will.
__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
Martian is offline  
Old 06-25-2008, 03:52 PM   #4 (permalink)
Psycho
 
blktour's Avatar
 
Location: Anchorage, AK
I think if you are attracted to her, and then begin to get into her more, and like her more, and enjoy being around her. You will eventually love kissing her. that is if you feel that you are falling for this woman.

As we grow closer to people we tend to live with their faults, and the bad. Which I dont think this is a BAD thing, but just something that you are not use to at the moment.

I personally have to be attracted to them before I even decide to talk to them. they don't have to be drop dead gorgeous though. Little things like great eyes, or nice smile, or sincere face, will win me over.
blktour is offline  
Old 06-25-2008, 04:10 PM   #5 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
Geez... if you don't like kissing her what's the point? Just be her friend and find someone you do like to kiss.

For me it definitely has to be a combination of looks and personality. The thing to remember is that both of those things are very personal. What works for me, in looks and personality, isn't always going to work for someone else. Some lose track of this.
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
Charlatan is offline  
Old 06-25-2008, 04:20 PM   #6 (permalink)
Poo-tee-weet?
 
JStrider's Avatar
 
Location: The Woodlands, TX
looks are good for the initial interest... but as the relationship gets longer the personality has to be there
__________________
-=JStrider=-

~Clatto Verata Nicto
JStrider is offline  
Old 06-25-2008, 04:41 PM   #7 (permalink)
Banned
 
Zeraph's Avatar
 
Location: The Cosmos
Quote:
Originally Posted by JStrider
looks are good for the initial interest... but as the relationship gets longer the personality has to be there
That's sort of my question. Will looks matter in the long run?
Zeraph is offline  
Old 06-25-2008, 04:59 PM   #8 (permalink)
The Reverend Side Boob
 
Bear Cub's Avatar
 
Location: Nofe Curolina
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeraph
That's sort of my question. Will looks matter in the long run?
Yes.

If you're not attracted to the person, there won't BE a long run. Attraction is a combination of both looks and personality, and if you're not attracted in the beginning when feelings tend to be their strongest, it sure as hell won't last.

Time cures a lot of things, but ugly isn't one of them.
__________________
Living in the United Socialist States of America.
Bear Cub is offline  
Old 06-25-2008, 07:24 PM   #9 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
grumpyolddude's Avatar
 
Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeraph
That's sort of my question. Will looks matter in the long run?
The right personality can trump a whole host of physical flaws.

That being said, you still need to find the other person reasonably attractive. Just getting a boner doesn't constitute attraction. That's just pure animal lust. Anyone with the right plumbing and a triggering pheromone can get you off.

But, not even desiring to kiss her? Move on, brother!
__________________
"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard
grumpyolddude is offline  
Old 06-25-2008, 07:35 PM   #10 (permalink)
warrior bodhisattva
 
Baraka_Guru's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: East-central Canada
Dismissy no kissy missy.
__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot
Baraka_Guru is offline  
Old 06-26-2008, 09:49 AM   #11 (permalink)
Upright
 
Alta's Avatar
 
Location: Ontario, Canada
I agree.... you don't want to kiss her? but you get hard? oops, that sounds like a reaction to paid sex, not a potential lover.
Alta is offline  
Old 06-26-2008, 11:26 AM   #12 (permalink)
Here
 
World's King's Avatar
 
Location: Denver City Denver
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alta
I agree.... you don't want to kiss her? but you get hard? oops, that sounds like a reaction to paid sex, not a potential lover.

Yeah... Get a hooker. You'll have to pay extra to kiss her anyway.
__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown
World's King is offline  
Old 06-26-2008, 12:32 PM   #13 (permalink)
change is hard.
 
thespian86's Avatar
 
Location: the green room.
Quote:
Originally Posted by World's King
Yeah... Get a hooker. You'll have to pay extra to kiss her anyway.
Meh, it's worth the five bucks.

I personally find myself more physically attracted to girls as I get to know them. My last relationship, the girl was obsessed with me and I didn't care about her at all, at first, and as I got to know her she was more and more hot. Get to know her, turn down the kissing, or persue it. Whatever you're comfortable with.
__________________
EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.
thespian86 is offline  
Old 06-26-2008, 01:35 PM   #14 (permalink)
Banned
 
Zeraph's Avatar
 
Location: The Cosmos
Thanks guys. It seems like an obvious thing but it's something I needed to hear.
Zeraph is offline  
Old 06-26-2008, 01:38 PM   #15 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: under a rock
Maybe she's just a bad kisser. See if you like doing "other things" with her better
__________________
There's no justice. There's just us.
Acetylene is offline  
Old 06-26-2008, 01:44 PM   #16 (permalink)
sufferable
 
girldetective's Avatar
 
You like her, shes cool, she arouses you.

Why dont you like to kiss her? Perhaps you could show her how you like to be kissed, after she brushes and flosses?
__________________
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

Last edited by girldetective; 06-26-2008 at 01:48 PM..
girldetective is offline  
Old 06-26-2008, 03:11 PM   #17 (permalink)
Banned
 
Zeraph's Avatar
 
Location: The Cosmos
Eh, it's kind of a guy thing. We can get aroused pretty easily. This girl isn't ugly, but she isn't pretty (to me) either, so I don't enjoy kissing her. It's not exactly gross, just boring. I'd enjoy fucking her but not kissing her, I think most guys are the same way.
Zeraph is offline  
Old 06-26-2008, 04:42 PM   #18 (permalink)
change is hard.
 
thespian86's Avatar
 
Location: the green room.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeraph
Eh, it's kind of a guy thing. We can get aroused pretty easily. This girl isn't ugly, but she isn't pretty (to me) either, so I don't enjoy kissing her. It's not exactly gross, just boring. I'd enjoy fucking her but not kissing her, I think most guys are the same way.
hahaha don't speak for all of us
__________________
EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.
thespian86 is offline  
Old 06-26-2008, 06:46 PM   #19 (permalink)
I have eaten the slaw
 
inBOIL's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeraph
Eh, it's kind of a guy thing. We can get aroused pretty easily. This girl isn't ugly, but she isn't pretty (to me) either, so I don't enjoy kissing her. It's not exactly gross, just boring. I'd enjoy fucking her but not kissing her, I think most guys are the same way.
I agree, sort of. For me, "kissable" is a more exclusive condition than "fuckable." However, that's because "kissable" requires the kind of attraction that persists after the horniness has been vanquished, and that kind of attraction usually depends on personality.
__________________
And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.
inBOIL is offline  
Old 06-26-2008, 09:29 PM   #20 (permalink)
Addict
 
diddagirl's Avatar
 
Location: Calgary, AB
Quote:
Originally Posted by Acetylene
Maybe she's just a bad kisser. See if you like doing "other things" with her better
Just what I was thinking. Good looks and good personality aside- its hard to enjoy kissing someone if they are not a good kisser...and most importantly if you guys maybe dont have chemistry together.
__________________
"Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done."
-Matthew Arnold
diddagirl is offline  
Old 06-26-2008, 09:44 PM   #21 (permalink)
Young Crumudgeon
 
Martian's Avatar
 
Location: Canada
Is this something I'm supposed to be politically correct about?

You're not attracted to her. Bottom line seems to be the story here. You lust after her in the same way that all men lust after women. It's pretty much what we do. But you don't really want her. Move on to greener pastures and let her find someone who is attracted to her.

No love for the uggos.

Attraction is such an arbitrary thing. Everybody has a type. She's not yours. Why try to ignore that? What's the gain?
__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
Martian is offline  
Old 06-27-2008, 06:55 PM   #22 (permalink)
Addict
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlatan
Geez... if you don't like kissing her what's the point? Just be her friend and find someone you do like to kiss.
I read this and for some reason thought of Potsie from Happy Days saying this and almost peed myself. Don't know why.

50% looks, 50% personality and the rest will cancel out.
percy is offline  
Old 06-28-2008, 12:02 AM   #23 (permalink)
Insane
 
Its always a package deal, its the brain, the personality, the looks, the way she uses her brain and personality to manipulate her looks to satisfy your wants, needs and desires...its not a simple question and you can't get a simple answer without neglecting part of what the answer really is.

In the end, if you can't stand kissing her, I think its a deal breaker.
imkeen is offline  
Old 06-28-2008, 02:47 AM   #24 (permalink)
Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It!
 
Daniel_'s Avatar
 
Location: Southern England
Just remember that when the hardon wears off, you'll be left with a woman who you dont want to kiss.
__________________
╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine

╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝
Daniel_ is offline  
Old 06-28-2008, 06:51 AM   #25 (permalink)
Addict
 
But remember.Some girls don't like to kiss. I don't like too. At least not needlessly just for the sake of it.
percy is offline  
Old 06-28-2008, 07:16 AM   #26 (permalink)
MSD
The sky calls to us ...
 
MSD's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: CT
If you're not attracted to her, let her go so you find someone you want to be with and you're not tying her up in a half-assed relationship while she could be out there finding someone who actually likes her.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg attractivenesscale.jpg (20.6 KB, 124 views)
MSD is offline  
Old 06-28-2008, 07:58 AM   #27 (permalink)
Kick Ass Kunoichi
 
snowy's Avatar
 
Location: Oregon
That's a great graph, MSD.
__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
snowy is offline  
Old 06-28-2008, 10:23 PM   #28 (permalink)
Insane
 
I've never seen it put so elegantly MSD. Very nice.
imkeen is offline  
Old 06-28-2008, 10:56 PM   #29 (permalink)
Insane
 
Cernunnos's Avatar
 
Location: Orlando, Florida
If I'm not physically attracted to a person, there has historically been no perceived chance of a romance with them. Friendship could certainly result if we enjoy spending time together, but unless there is mutual desire, nothing's going to happen.
Cernunnos is offline  
Old 06-28-2008, 11:29 PM   #30 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Location: top of the world
I'd have to say if you dont like kissing her but your attracted to her obviously your just growing into it. You may not like kissing her right now because you dont know her enough to be mentally and physically attracted to her.. It will grow but thats only if you see yourself putting effort into the relationship.
sunshine16 is offline  
Old 06-29-2008, 04:54 PM   #31 (permalink)
Chicken scratch.
 
Gabbyness's Avatar
 
Location: Japan!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by MSD
If you're not attracted to her, let her go so you find someone you want to be with and you're not tying her up in a half-assed relationship while she could be out there finding someone who actually likes her.
You beat me to it MSD! I was trying to find that diagram.
__________________
One, two, three, four, fiiiiiiiifth.
Gabbyness is offline  
 

Tags
personality

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:15 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360