Long-distance relationships
 

What do you think about long-distance relationships? do they work? why or why not?

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I think it depends on the people involved. I know people who have made them work, but it would never work for me.

That is probably right at the edge of "workable"

If you constantly go more than two weeks without seeing each other - chances are slim.

Everyone is different, but most long-distance relationships don't work out - and remember - it only takes one of you to decide it's not working.

<i>If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.</i>
Unfortunately, one of you will invariably start believing that.

I'm not a believer in long distance. dated a girl for 3 years, the last year was separated by a 2 hour drive. when we were gonna get back to living close to each other, she dumped me. Now I have a girl an hour away that wants me and I have to deny her because I'm not willing to go back to a distance relationship. Though I have seen it work for some special people.

Long distance means different things to different people. Being a professional career guy, my relationships usually don't work out if the girl lives more then 45 minutes away. That 45 minute separation just makes it too hard to see each other as often as a couple SHOULD see each other if they are working on growing a relationship together.

My wife and I were apart for more than a year and a half by 2,200 km. somehow during that time we managed to get engaged, and plan a wedding.

We even saw each other once or twice. (That's a bloody long drive for the weekend)

We wrote letters, and burned up the long distance lines.

I tried it, didn't like it, won't do it again. It's to much strain and being faithful becomes hardcore punishment and makes it worse for both ends, but that's just me, if you are in love and can make it work, go for it, just don't expect much. Buy webcams!

Seems like a few people have done this... My wife and I were seperated by 4 hours for a year and a half (our whole engagement). If I recall correctly we didn't talk to each other only one or two days the whole time. (Thank you Sprint PCS free long distance) We started out driving to see each other every other weekend, but as it got closer to the end we put it off to about once a month... which also saved money for the wedding.

If you're really in love you can make it work.

It can work, if you make it. Love knows no distance.

Because of our jobs my wife and I have been seperated by as many as 4 hour drives and only got together on weekends. It is tough. Takes a lot of adjusting. We both finally gave up our jobs and took jobs in the same town so we can be together full time. I like it a lot better this way.

I have never had a long distance relationship but I think it can definately work as long as both people are honest and want it to work!

up until recently I would have thought not, although things have changed and I think it can work (as stated above) good luck, to all of us:)

Damn Straight. I've had my fair share of them (long distance things), and there was never a time where I wasn't willing to put forth the effort for them to work, no matter how far away we are. If they ended, it was always because the other person had a problem with it. (Not trying to say I'm better or anything, I'm just very determined when it comes to relationships)

It only ceases to work when people give up. Simple as that. I could understand if two people lived on two different continents altogether, and were -never- going to really see each other. That seems kind of pointless.

My brother and his gf have a LONG distance relationship, Canada-Belgium. They're going on 2 years now; they talk on the phone at least once a day plus MSN and email. She's been here 3 times now, and he's gone to belgium once. Still depends on the people though, my brother's explained to me how hard it is.

::flees from the topic in terror::

Seriously, though, I'm not a big fan. Granted, my example isn't the best, but I just think it's hard to stay in love with the right person when you're doing the long distance thing.

The problem I've had both times I've tried to do it is that even with constant phone calls, e-mails and IMs, people change in ways that you're just not around to see. Sometimes it's something major, sometimes just a tiny detail. I find that because I'm not actively around the person all the time, when I finally see the person again, it's almost like I'm talking to someone I don't know. The longer span of time, the worse this gets and eventually you find you don't really know or understand the person you think you're in love with.

Obviously this isn't true for everyone, but it's been my (somewhat limited) experience in the matter. I think I'm going to avoid them for now.

I started a long distance relationship several months back. Have seen her once. Right now, we are 2k miles apart, but next fall she is most likely going to be going to school 2 hours away from me. Which is alot closer than 2k miles, but it is a challenge right now and I'm sure will be a challenge even being 2 hours away.

4 hours appart from my bf for the past 8 months and we see each other every 2 weeks. Anything longer is hell and anything shorter is suicide for our college studies. We love, we grow, we get over the fact that we miss each other constantly. It sucks, but in a couple of years it will all be worth it.

Just got out of a long-distance relationship a while back. I had decided to move away (I mean FAR-- like 6500+ km) to go to school. The seperation destroyed us, and we had been together for 4 years.

A long distance relationship is all of the problems without any of the benefits. Except the problems are intensified 100 fold. I'm not saying it CAN'T be done, so I would never discourage anyone from trying. But it will be extremely costly, and take a LOT of work. I for one simply didn't have the time to commit, with my studies and everything else. She wasn't able to commisserate. She felt I had abandoned her. But the fact that the relationship failed is certainly as much my fault as hers (maybe more).

So, that's just my two bits, coming from a guy who lost the girl he loved (and thought he was going to marry) because of distance. If you can work things differently for your situation, I honestly wish you the best.

My girlfriend and I have spent about 6 months living near each other for the past two years. Yes, it's difficult. Need I say more?

What you say is only true if the relationship wasn't meant to work in the first place. Separation vividly exposes a lot of problems that you might not notice living with/near a person... I find that being away from my girlfriend is like taking bitter medicine. In the end it will be good for us.

Yup,

Sorry to say, it depends on the people involved.

My ex moved to Texas to go to school for a year. I hated that year, but our relationship made it through fine (other problems killed it many years later). If your relationship is good and you both have the energy to make it work, it will. The flip is true too.

been there done that.... lived in LA and she lived in Singapore (she was an american living there)

spent lots of money on AT&T, Sprint, and MCI...we then lived together after the 2 year separation. Soon we separated. After 12 yeasrs, she's married with 3 kids to someone else now, and I'm married to someone else also.

eh...hindsight.. it was lots of work while I was doing it, and it was nice (she was a hottie and great in bed! oh shit hopefully the wife won't read this and get jealous...) but I'd not bother ever doing it again. Unless she had nice tits.

I think there's a lot to what Dorian is saying. Seperation, in my case, exposed a lot of problems that I never had to deal with before...

BUT, what I often wonder is whether the seperation wasn't the cause of a lot of those problems. In other words, is it necessarily true that it didn't work because it wasn't meant to work from the beginning? If we'd never been apart, maybe things would be as good as always, and neither or us would know the difference....

Just something that's been on my mind lately. Honestly, I can't say that I know the answer. Btw, I also think that the distance involved and the number of times you're going to see one another during the time apart play a huge role, so its hard to make generalizations.

Flieaway, my fiancee, and I were seperated by 7 hours for a time. Yes, it was horrible. The times we'd leave eachother both crying. The phone calls saying I don't know how I can move on without you there, from both of us. It's a difficult thing to do, but we made it. Like others have said, it all depends on the people involved. We made it work though.
So, yes I believe it can work, but it takes a lot of work.