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Old 06-24-2008, 10:40 AM   #41 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
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Old 06-24-2008, 11:22 AM   #42 (permalink)
will always be an Alyson Hanniganite
 
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But, will we still respect him in the morning?
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Old 06-24-2008, 07:26 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Redlemon
The harm is having to answer the same fucking "happy ending" question over and over. I'm a professional.

I don't care if prostitution is made legal. Just stop calling it massage, OK?
The thing is, the places that advertise as such do give real massages, they just add a little extra.
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Old 06-24-2008, 08:41 PM   #44 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Redlemon
The harm is having to answer the same fucking "happy ending" question over and over. I'm a professional.

I don't care if prostitution is made legal. Just stop calling it massage, OK?
Alright already. I didn't realize it was so common place that this had become a nuisance for you. I assumed most of your clientele were genuinely interested in massage. Either way, ok. I get your point. All the respect in the world.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kutulu
I doubt it is really that complicated. Just pick out one of those places that advertise in the back of the paper and go in.
I'm leaning toward the order in \m/ massage \m/ (notice the rock quotes because I don't mean real massage). You call; they come to your house. Sounds interesting anyway.
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Last edited by Herk; 06-24-2008 at 08:44 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 06-24-2008, 08:59 PM   #45 (permalink)
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I could never do it. Also paying for a hand job? I can give myself one for free, and I know how i like it!

Haha, I know I know, even a shitty hand job from a girl is better than one from myself, but still. I could never pay some stranger to pull it. Also I am deadly paranoid of getting a disease, yes I know hand jobs are probably as safe as they come, but "it" doesn't come out of my pants until she has been tested. And nothing will ever change that.
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Old 06-27-2008, 12:07 PM   #46 (permalink)
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if you think about it, without the emotional attachment involved, the happy ending is just part of the whole experience of a massage that gets you to relax all over head to toe. it's more "clearing out your pipes" than a romantic hookup. most cultures that have massage done by the opposite sex are fine with it morally, and i'd venture a guess that the only relationship ever ruined by it was one that'd have to be the definition of prudish and pretty close to over anyway.

as for being a therapist and being asked about happy endings.... really, pull the stick outta there it's no different than being tall and being asked about basketball or being a psychic and people asking you to read their palm at a party. it comes with the territory, and there's no harm intended.
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Old 06-27-2008, 12:50 PM   #47 (permalink)
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I think Redlemon has made it clear that it IS offensive. Also, if a place is going to give you a hand job, most likely you can turn it into a BJ for a few more bucks. Maybe for more, you can get it all. Be realistic, the "massage" is a way to legitimize prostitution.
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Old 06-30-2008, 06:18 AM   #48 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kutulu
I think Redlemon has made it clear that it IS offensive. Also, if a place is going to give you a hand job, most likely you can turn it into a BJ for a few more bucks. Maybe for more, you can get it all. Be realistic, the "massage" is a way to legitimize prostitution.
First of all, I don't think you can make clear what offensive is... at least not to anybody other than yourself. What is clear is that there is a huge group of the population out there which love to be offended, even when it doesn't benefit anybody, to get all upset about something which hurts nobody. The FCC was unable to define offensive satisfactorily. The church has been unable to, as well.

What do you mean legitimize prostitution? It doesn't make it legal, and I'm pretty sure it isn't making prostitutes feel any more or less like they met their childhood dream. I think it is a way to put a service that many people want in a position where it is reachable. Just a way the culture of the time operates.

When prohibition was in effect there were speakeasies. They didn't legitimize alcohol, just put it where people knew how to find it. QED
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Old 06-30-2008, 07:46 AM   #49 (permalink)
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I am not going to argue my position any further.

(edit)... because I think I have made my position clear. If you don't understand or appreciate where I am coming from on this issue, there's nothing more I can do. I am not backing down on my opinion, however.
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Last edited by Redlemon; 07-01-2008 at 05:20 AM..
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Old 06-30-2008, 09:38 AM   #50 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by high_jinx
as for being a therapist and being asked about happy endings.... really, pull the stick outta there it's no different than being tall and being asked about basketball or being a psychic and people asking you to read their palm at a party. it comes with the territory, and there's no harm intended.
Doesn't mean you couldn't get good and tired of hearing it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Herk
What is clear is that there is a huge group of the population out there which love to be offended, even when it doesn't benefit anybody, to get all upset about something which hurts nobody.
I flat guarantee you that Redlemon isn't a member of that group.

Last edited by ratbastid; 06-30-2008 at 09:38 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 06-30-2008, 12:35 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Herk
First of all, I don't think you can make clear what offensive is... at least not to anybody other than yourself. What is clear is that there is a huge group of the population out there which love to be offended, even when it doesn't benefit anybody, to get all upset about something which hurts nobody. The FCC was unable to define offensive satisfactorily. The church has been unable to, as well.
If you have been reading the damn thread you'd see plain and simple that a TFP member is very offended by people asking to be jerked off while they are on the table. I also have a cousin that does massage therapy. She's such a prude she probably doesn't even blow her own husband. I can guarantee that she would be pissed as well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ratbastid
Doesn't mean you couldn't get good and tired of hearing it.
Seriously, legit therapists should just get over the fact that people visit them thinking they are whores.

Last edited by kutulu; 06-30-2008 at 12:37 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 06-30-2008, 01:28 PM   #52 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kutulu
Seriously, legit therapists should just get over the fact that people visit them thinking they are whores.
You know, I thought people would get over the fact that I'm an asshole, but here we are.

In all seriousness, if people can't tell the difference between someone like redlemon and the folks in the Craigslist "Erotic Serivces" section, they should be neutered anyway.
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Old 06-30-2008, 01:40 PM   #53 (permalink)
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How did this thread become about redlemon? Is he really the only massage therapist in the world?

And no, I've never had a happy ending after a massage. A Hitchcockian twist, yes, but not a happy ending.
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Old 06-30-2008, 01:53 PM   #54 (permalink)
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How about a Crying Game ending?
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Old 07-01-2008, 10:22 AM   #55 (permalink)
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This thread has mutated from what goes on in a Massage Parlour to Judgement day - paying for sex - bad. Christian Morality - good.
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Old 07-01-2008, 10:27 AM   #56 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by james t kirk
This thread has mutated from what goes on in a Massage Parlour to Judgement day - paying for sex - bad. Christian Morality - good.
It really hasn't. Nobody said that paying for hand jobs is morally wrong. Just that you wouldn't ask your doctor or your barber or your mechanic to jerk you off--it's not the line of work they're in, and they might have a right to be offended or at least annoyed if you assumed it was. It's also not the line of work a licensed massage therapist is in, but that assumption or insinuation gets made all the time.
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Old 07-01-2008, 10:30 AM   #57 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by james t kirk
This thread has mutated from what goes on in a Massage Parlour to Judgement day - paying for sex - bad. Christian Morality - good.
OK, fuck it, I'm breaking my promise. I'm back in this thread.

I am *not* anti-sexual; I wouldn't survive on this board if I were. I am not even completely anti-prostitution; I'm just not comfortable with the human trafficking and slavery element of it.

I just want the prostitutes to stop hiding behind the legitimacy of massage.

Hell, the first time I received a professional massage (as a gift from my wife), I was uncomfortable. I wondered if the massage therapist would try to suggest sex, and I was wondering how to turn that down and still get a good massage.

This sort of discomfort, I'm sure, keeps others away from trying massage. And massage is good.
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Old 07-04-2008, 05:39 AM   #58 (permalink)
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I would be too paranoid that the place would get busted by the cops and my name would be all over the news as one of the arrested participants.
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Old 07-04-2008, 07:10 AM   #59 (permalink)
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I wouldn't be interested in a "happy ending" after a massage. I doubt my husband would either, but if he was, I would be fine with it.
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Old 07-04-2008, 09:53 AM   #60 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Nikki*
I want to hear more stories about these places and less discussion about if it is cheating!
DITTO!
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Old 07-07-2008, 12:09 PM   #61 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ratbastid
I flat guarantee you that Redlemon isn't a member of that group.
Thank you for guaranteeing in both italics and a flat manner. I would have questioned it otherwise.

I apologize Redlemon. I hope you don't think I am attacking you. I don't intend to.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kutulu
If you have been reading the damn thread you'd see plain and simple that a TFP member is very offended by people asking to be jerked off while they are on the table. I also have a cousin that does massage therapy. She's such a prude she probably doesn't even blow her own husband. I can guarantee that she would be pissed as well.
Interesting. I did read the thread. I am aware that people are offended by this. The point is that it is difficult to define 'offensive' in a manner that fits all or even most of any population. So it is difficult to justify being angry with somebody who may not see what they are doing as harmful or offensive. At least it is difficult to justify this to me, but this is obviously unimportant. It is still my point none-the-less.
As a side note; anybody can ask me to jerk them off. I'll likely decline, but unless you are patronizing me or knowingly trying to vex me, I won't get upset. This makes for a more pleasant humanity and a more efficient one as well, in my opinion.
It is unfortunate that your cousin would have to experience any negative emotions over something as mundane and harmless as a question. I hope, for this reason, that she is never asked to do such a thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kutulu
Seriously, legit therapists should just get over the fact that people visit them thinking they are whores.
I don't understand how this school of thought can follow the last. Should they get pissed or should they move on. I can't tell from your differing view points here. Isn't your cousin a legit therapist that should "...just get over[it]?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redlemon
I just want the prostitutes to stop hiding behind the legitimacy of massage.
I wish this were a more reasonable thing to ask. I agree, but as long as something is illegal, it can't be sold at face value. It must be disguised. Unfortunately for your trade, massage seems to work well as a guise for prostitution of sorts. If it were made legal this would be less of a problem. Just like car repair shops would be used for drug sales a lot less if it were legal to possess and traffic drugs. Not that either of those are the best plan.

Also, I'm sorry for this... I'm really not trying to be a prick. I'm a calm guy. If you could here my tone of voice you might be sure that this was all just for the sake of argument, but here goes.
I find it a bit odd that you openly admit being one of these horribly annoying people that misunderstand your trade. Doesn't you being confused about protocol and expectations of a visit kind of exonerate people posing questions about these things? Would it have been more offensive for you to ask what you were in store for and clarify or to have gone the length of the visit under the assumption there might be more?

Again, I'm not trying to pick a fight. I'm sure you're a stellar person with which I'd agree on many points. Please don't take offense.
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Last edited by Herk; 07-07-2008 at 12:38 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 07-07-2008, 02:37 PM   #62 (permalink)
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I had several of massages by a physical therapist after a car accident last year. Sex was not on my mind (and was not offered). How to move without excruciating pain was. My happy ending: I was able to walk out of there in considerably less pain, thanks to wonderful folks like RedLemon.
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Old 07-07-2008, 08:24 PM   #63 (permalink)
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This one is for *Nikki*

This is my first erotic story ever.. and I wrote it just to get this thread out of a rut.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hal's Fantasy
I showed up to the massage spa for my first ever professional massage and I was assigned to a room and given instructions on what to do. I was due for a rather expensive full hour session, so it came with a nice spacious massage room. I took a quick shower in the room's shower stall and wrapped a towel around my waist. I'm not going to lie about what I had on my mind; I imagined a masseuse who looked like Eva Mendez walking in and giving me a full body rubdown. I was creating a bit of a tent in my towel by the time I crawled onto the table, but I took some deep distracting breaths to calm myself down.

I'm not very timid when it comes to showing off my package, so the idea of being a towel slip away from flashing a hot young girl was thrilling me. I felt very confident in the few minutes before my masseuse finally knocked and entered the room. She introduced herself as Alexandra; she looked like she was Swedish, with pure blond hair in a thick braid down her back and piercing blue eyes. Her voice was soft and mature, with just a tiny hint of a Nordic accent. Her light pink lips had a smooth glossy shine and her nose came to a cute little point just above them. In the instant I took in her sight, I was totally meek in her presence.

It was a moment before I got it together, taking a little longer than usual to respond with my own name and a smile. As she turned to close the door behind her, I raced my eyes over her body. She had short shorts on over white stockings, and a top that resembled a fashionable twist of doctor scrubs. The phrase "dream fuck" made its way out through my breath, but I knew the ambient hum of the overhead lights would drown it out. I could not help my dirty mind. I knew that I had bought this massage because of this chance; to be touched from head to toe by a total knockout; to have her hands all over my bare skin. You can get a girlfriend to do it, or you can get a whore to fuck you, but neither experience compares to the mental trip of being so close to someone who WON'T fuck you, but you wish with every cell in your body that they would. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the definition of teasing and it can build to a conclusion more exciting than just immediately getting what you want.

"Could you lie on your stomach?" she requested.

I complied with restrained enthusiasm. I knew that my excitement had to be showing on my face and in my body language, but I was breathing deeply and slowly in measured breaths so I did not have a wild erection... yet. Alexandra wheeled a cart of massage oils and other materials over to the table as I gave my towel a quick inspection and flattened my chest against the padding. After a few suspenseful moments, I heard the cap of one oil bottle snap open and then the suggestively moist sound of her hands rubbing together. I then closed my eyes and let the feel of her soft hands pour over me. The oil she was using allowed her hands to glide over my skin like water on a dolphin's back. I let out a little hybrid moan-grunt as my tense anticipation moved on to relaxed enjoyment. With my eyelids closed, I mentally followed her hands as they made their way all around my back and shoulders. This was beginning to feel good.

Mentally, I felt like I was having sex already. Alexandra had ceased to be my masseuse and was now my lover... in my head. With her hands kneading me and rubbing me all the way down to my hips, I let my brain's little fantasy take me over. My sense of etiquette was stretched thin as I just began moaning out of reaction. When she paused long enough for me to exhale, I let out a deep, "Mmmmmmmm." When the pause began to feel like a full stop, my wits began to slowly return to me. I realized where I was and what position I was in and the exact relationship I had with the woman who was now standing about 3 feet away from the table where I lay. Hoping she would help me figure out if I had gone too far, I stayed silent.

"Could you flip over on to your back, now?"

I contemplated her instruction for a short while, pretending to remain in the throes of intense relaxation. With my mind still quite fuzzy, I slowly lifted myself up and rotated my body around until I was lying on my back. When this was done, I began to realize two things were wrong. First, with all the rubbing and shifting, my towel had given a lot of slack in its previous position and my new positioning had it hanging loosely off of my waist. Second, I had quickly formed a very stiff erection and it had pushed my towel out of the way, standing in plain view.

The cool artificial air conditioned breeze made me even more aware of my hard cock. I lifted myself up on my knuckles to look down at my long, thick, engorged dick reaching out from the overlap in my loose towel, then flopped back down on my back with a hopelessly embarrassed sigh. I brought myself to turn my head toward Alexandra, my brow turned down in a mix of self-pity and worry. Part of this was a conscious act; I wanted to communicate as best I could that this was an accident and that I didn't mean for it to happen. On the other hand, my cock was still hard and throbbing with excitement. No matter how embarrassed I looked, my lap was showing otherwise.

Alexandra's reaction was surprising and thrilling to me. She stood there, with a finger trailing off of her parted lips. Her eyes were wide and fixed on my cock. Her other hand was braced against the cart with all of the oils on it. I traced my eyes over her body again, studying it closer, noticing her fit form in her tight white spa employee uniform. My body relaxed, but I was holding my breath now, and this only made my cock waver. Alexandra was still paying close attention to it, her fingers still at her lips. She looked so sexy at that moment; I felt like she was just as thrilled as I was.

Still hesitant to make any move, I knew it was up to her to steer this encounter somewhere. She took a careful step forward and I felt the hairs on my arms and legs tingle. Her eyes had calmed and her lips were closed now; her hands were reaching to my body. When her fingers touched my chest, I let out an involuntary moan. My eyes met hers at that moment and I found it a lot harder to read her. She was firm and professional, and she began to massage my chest and stomach. My cock was still flying high, fueled by her enticing touch. I felt a rush when her forearm brushed it as she worked on my muscles.

With another snap of the cap on the oil bottle, Alexandra prepared more oil on her hands to rub over my body. I wished for her to go straight for my dick, to grasp it with two hands and pump me like she was churning butter, but she began working on my thighs instead. The feeling was incredible when she brushed my soldier with her forearm again; all of this anticipation was making me hypersensitive. I watched her eyes as she worked, licking my lips with heightened expectations. She kept focused on her hands, which was fine because they were so close to where I really wanted them to be.

As she worked her way down my legs and up again, I felt my towel fall completely away from my body, leaving me totally exposed, hard as can be and glistening with massage oil. Alexandra was distracted as the towel hit the floor; her eyes darted to see it land and then slowly moved up to look straight at my large dick. It was still standing there, waiting for her attention. This time, she licked her lips and moved her eyes to mine. As our gaze held together, she slowly reached for me and for the first time I felt her warm hands envelope my straining cock.

I instantly groaned as I felt her lubricated hands squeeze me. As she did, her fists naturally slid over me. I moaned with every movement. Her fingers were strong and soft at the same time and I instantly knew that she was a natural at this. With a firm grip lubricated by the oil, she stroked me with both hands like she was wringing out a towel, sliding up and down my shaft. My vision blurred as I moaned some more, my head was craned back into the padded table. This girl was blowing my mind with her hands.

She sped up, moving faster up and down my shaft, her fingers squeezing my head every time they rolled over it. I felt my orgasm nearing quickly as my anticipation was being cashed in by her phenomenal hand work. She had hardly said a word to me throughout our entire session, yet Alexandra had my mind and body enthralled with pleasure. My head was reeling, my hips were jerking, and my hands were gripping the edges of the table. Her oiled grip on my cock was heavenly.

As I moaned, she leaned in to me and said in her soft voice, “I know you want to come. Do it!”

I didn’t need any more persuasion. With her command, I felt instantly overwhelmed and my pleasure flew straight past its limits. I called out and felt my body stiffen an instant before I shot. When I came, I sent streams of my hot cum into the air. I bucked as I felt cum hit my chest in ropes and I still released more and more. My powerful orgasm swirled my vision and I let Alexandra’s hands control me entirely. She stroked me more and I shuddered, giving my last spurts of white cum to her. They splashed down her knuckles and dripped down on to me. When she finally released me, I had totally showered myself in my own juice.

Alexandra told me to wash up and check out at the front desk. Before I could realize what was happening, she had left the room. I climbed back into the shower to wash my spunk off my entire body and then got dressed. Outside the room, Alexandra was nowhere to be seen. I ended up leaving the spa and never seeing another person except the receptionist at the front desk. This was OK with me because of the glassy look in my eyes after having my body completely rocked. I was happy to drift out of there without another word.
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Old 07-07-2008, 09:54 PM   #64 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Halx
This one is for *Nikki*

This is my first erotic story ever.. and I wrote it just to get this thread out of a rut.
+1 Ha, Nice! Publish it.
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Old 07-08-2008, 05:05 AM   #65 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Herk
I find it a bit odd that you openly admit being one of these horribly annoying people that misunderstand your trade. Doesn't you being confused about protocol and expectations of a visit kind of exonerate people posing questions about these things? Would it have been more offensive for you to ask what you were in store for and clarify or to have gone the length of the visit under the assumption there might be more?
No offense taken. I am upset that people may be missing out on an excellent therapeutic massage because they are uncomfortable. The fact that this confusion exists, I blame on the prostitutes.

And, just to be slightly back on topic, I watched "Jenna Jameson - The Masseuse". I don't think she's ever received a real massage in her life. She had the worst technique I have ever seen.
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Old 07-08-2008, 08:17 AM   #66 (permalink)
Functionally Appropriate
 
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So JTK, just for the sake of my fantasy life, how far can you go with the "Nude Reverse"?
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Old 07-08-2008, 12:37 PM   #67 (permalink)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 
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That was an excellent story and much appreciated !!
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Old 07-09-2008, 05:57 AM   #68 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Redlemon
No offense taken. I am upset that people may be missing out on an excellent therapeutic massage because they are uncomfortable. The fact that this confusion exists, I blame on the prostitutes.
Well, that makes perfect sense.

Okay, now I decided I'd contribute something to this thread for what it was designed.

There is a local publication called the Pitch Weekly here in KC, MO. In the back of it, there are always these classifieds for what we're talking about. So, I'm going to post the links in the order I followed them and will show you what we've all been waiting for. Just one example.

So here is the classified page at the Pitch's website.
http://www.pitch.com/classifieds/
You get here by clicking "Body Rubs"
http://kc.backpage.com/BodyRubs/clas...ategory=491595
Here is an add I clicked on.
http://kc.backpage.com/BodyRubs/sens...Ad?oid=1035703
Pretty cool. Rates and services listed. Nice!
http://mistymassage.com/
Here's the best part. Click "Etiquette" and you'll find she clearly states lets not talk about it; buy you'll get what you might expect. Ha.

... and she's cute too. I'll let you know how it turns out.
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Old 07-09-2008, 09:22 AM   #69 (permalink)
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The last massage I had was a brutal drubbing given by a man with the mitts of a grappler. It was probably the least sexual thing ever, but man did it relieve the stress.

The DC/Balto area is awash in parlours. According to Gene Weingarten, Asian women will kind of shower you and encourage you to disrobe.

http://tiny.cc/WYoO8

I'd visit a therapist every week if I could afford. I'd also get a massage.

I'd like to say, thanks to wonderful folks like Redlemon, I would like a Meyer Lemon.
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Old 07-10-2008, 09:43 AM   #70 (permalink)
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I've gotten a massage a couple of times now, but nothing ever happened. I can see it being considered "not sexual" in the sense that it's just massaging another muscle of the body, but I doubt many guys could actually think of it that way.
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Old 07-10-2008, 11:54 AM   #71 (permalink)
has all her shots.
 
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Location: Florida
Poppinjay : brutal drubbing...mind if I borrow that? It's got a nice ring to it.

Just to back up redlemon in his experience, I knew a male massage therapist who was asked to 'finish me off' by male clients very regularly. At first he used to laugh it off, but he became very disenchanted with it over time. I think there's a disconnect here between reality and fantasy. The concept of being 'finished off' is all sexy and fun and stuff, yes, but it's largely a fantasy and doesn't have a place in the daily working life of professional massage therapists. I'm skeptical that many people would be able to laugh it off for long and it has nothing to do with prudery, it's about personal space and respect.
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Old 07-10-2008, 12:18 PM   #72 (permalink)
Please touch this.
 
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Waiting for Herk to post his experience......
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Old 07-10-2008, 02:27 PM   #73 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Kansas City, MO
Quote:
Originally Posted by Halx
Waiting for Herk to post his experience......
Well, I fapped this morning while thinking about it, but I don't image this will be anything other than fantasy until some money falls out of the sky. I've been in the red for months now, and there isn't an end in sight. Fucking Federal Reserve inflating dollars and stealing my money.

Sorry bud.
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Old 07-30-2008, 03:49 PM   #74 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Mango View Post
Who here has had a massage with a happy ending?

Was it planned, or a last minute thing?

Did you have to pay extra?

Anything else you want to share?

its nothing that I have ever experienced. But I am wondering about it.
I live in London and a few legitimate massage places do it, if you ask nicely lol.,.
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