Cock-block! share your stories - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

UKking · 05-28-2008, 06:09 PM

For those of you unfamiliar with the term Cockblock, this is when someone completely ruins the mood and stops you and your potential partner from getting it on. Or it could mean you stopped your friend from getting some for whatever reason whether it be cause it was a joke, cause you were supposed to get it, whatever!

One of the many parties that the friends has thrown has ended in one night flings. We all decided to cock-block one of our friends real bad. So once we knew they were getting it on, we got a metal waste paper basket, filled it with paper, lit it on fire. We let the smoke penetrate the room and then all of a sudden we screamed "FIRE FIRE FIRE, OH MY GOD, EVERYONE OUT NOW!" whilst banging on his door. Both him and the gal ran out with nothing but a sheet and worried look on their face... they ran out to a living room full of drunk guys and gals with tears in their eyes cause they were laughing so hard... oh man... goodtimes...

Punk.of.Ages · 05-28-2008, 06:12 PM

This is against man code.

Wrong...

Halx · 05-28-2008, 06:15 PM

I've been cock-blocked by another member of this forum. He is no longer around and probably doesn't realize it, but he is the lone reason why I still have not hooked up with a particular hot board member.

True story. I can't give details though.

thespian86 · 05-28-2008, 06:18 PM

hahaha fuck man code.

One time I was at a part with a girl named Meaghan and I was really into her. We were both pretty drunk and it she was hitting on me pretty hardcore and I wasn't saying no until a friend of mine Adam swooped in while I went to get a drink. I came back and they were making out. That's fine. He gets up and I walk over and say "Adam's gay and his boyfriend is the jealous type" hahahahaha he watched us for the rest of the night.

Willravel · 05-28-2008, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halx

I've been cock-blocked by another member of this forum. He is no longer around and probably doesn't realize it, but he is the lone reason why I still have not hooked up with a particular hot board member.

True story. I can't give details though.

It was clearly roachboy. Don't lie.

I've had the supreme cockblock done to me: "Will? He's gay." I can't stand that shit.

Cynthetiq · 05-28-2008, 07:13 PM

ratbastid · 05-28-2008, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Punk.of.Ages

This is against man code.

Wrong...

"You just cock-blocked McLovin! Okay, he's our friend. We don't do that. We should be guiding his cock, not blocking it."

Cynthetiq · 05-28-2008, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ratbastid

"You just cock-blocked McLovin! Okay, he's our friend. We don't do that. We should be guiding his cock, not blocking it."

ummmm that sounds gay. not that there's anything wrong with that... :cue seinfeld sounds:

KellyC · 05-28-2008, 07:39 PM

Would it still be considered cock blocking if you and your girlfriend were having a morning romp and her sister decided it would be a good idea to drop off her kids for your girlfriend to babysit?

thespian86 · 05-28-2008, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willravel

It was clearly roachboy. Don't lie.

I've had the supreme cockblock done to me: "Will? He's gay." I can't stand that shit.

I do unto others that they have done unto me. Retaliation is a bitch; at least I don't do it ten fold like others I know.

Church · 05-28-2008, 07:45 PM

Wow, the guy that played Tom Cruise in that video did an excellent job lol

Willravel · 05-28-2008, 07:46 PM

PMF, the best revenge is success.

blahblah454 · 05-28-2008, 09:20 PM

We were once all at a party and a friend of ours, conveniently named Will actually, went into a room with a lady. Anyways we grabbed a big bucket of water, a camera, and managed to get him to come answer the door. I think it involved loud people knocking on the door and shit and he came to tell us to stop.

Well he puts on his boxers and grabs his shirt and comes to the door... SLAM!!! giant popcorn bowl full of water in the face. And I snapped a picture the second after he gets hit. I am sure he was not in the mood after this, but we did not stick around to find out.

This was also around 5 years ago when we were a little more immature.

Willravel · 05-28-2008, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blahblah454

We were once all at a party and a friend of ours, conveniently named Will actually, went into a room with a lady.

This seems vaguely familiar...

Quote:

Originally Posted by blahblah454

Anyways we grabbed a big bucket of water, a camera, and managed to get him to come answer the door. I think it involved loud people knocking on the door and shit and he came to tell us to stop.

Well he puts on his boxers and grabs his shirt and comes to the door... SLAM!!! giant popcorn bowl full of water in the face. And I snapped a picture the second after he gets hit. I am sure he was not in the mood after this, but we did not stick around to find out.

This was also around 5 years ago when we were a little more immature.

GOOD GOD. Funny and terribly tragic at the same time.

lotsofmagnets · 05-29-2008, 03:48 AM

i walked in to a friend´s bedroom while he was sexing his girl of the week. i sat down and started playing on his computer.

Bear Cub · 05-29-2008, 04:46 AM

Ok, I have to describe the layout of the room to really get the full effect. Its a small, off-campus apartment. You walk through the doorway a few steps, and an opening to the combined living room/bedroom is to the right. Looking into that room, the bed is up against the far wall, and the back of the futon basically creates the side to the bed.

Onto the story. My partner in crime (we shall call him Mudshark) and I were at the bar a block away. It has been one of those evenings. The two of us have racked up a $350 bar tab (we drink cheap drinks, too), been molested by a pair of hot female twins who were already kicked out for being too drunk, you name it, its probably happened.

We decide its a good time to leave, and after fumbling horribly all the way back to Mudshark's place, our friend M and Mudshark's friend D decide to stay behind, while Mudshark and I return to the bar to retrieve his forgotten credit card.

Back to the bar we go, and another $85 later, we head back to his place. Well, I think it was more of an army crawl at that point, but you get the idea.

As we open his door quietly, we hear the ever-so-familiar slurping sound. Mudshark and I huddle there, discussing our course of approach, while trying to hide our giggling schoolgirl laughter. Naturally, I decide to take matters into my own hands.

Mind you now, I'm not very acrobatic. Hell, I can barely bend over to tie my own shoes, but I had the wonders of alcohol acting on my behalf.

I peer through the entryway, only to see one head on the futon instead of two. Perfect.

I launch myself through the entry way, heading straight for the bed. I leap as high as I possibly can, throw all of my weight back, and perform an aerial backflip over and onto the futon.

I landed mid-fellatio. D half-way gags as my body weight presses her head onto M's unit, while simultaneously causing her to instinctively bite down and smush M's nutsack at the same time. Needless to say, fellatio over.

I laughed for 20 minutes until I passed out, Mudshark laughed until he passed out, and his head was eventually discovered wedged inside a dog kennel somehow, and M found it appropriate to teabag the back of my head and take a picture on his camera phone. Unfortunately for him, it was far too dark to show up for any justifiable revenge.

Shauk · 05-29-2008, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bear Cub

Ok, I have to describe the layout of the room to really get the full effect. Its a small, off-campus apartment. You walk through the doorway a few steps, and an opening to the combined living room/bedroom is to the right. Looking into that room, the bed is up against the far wall, and the back of the futon basically creates the side to the bed.

Onto the story. My partner in crime (we shall call him Mudshark) and I were at the bar a block away. It has been one of those evenings. The two of us have racked up a $350 bar tab (we drink cheap drinks, too), been molested by a pair of hot female twins who were already kicked out for being too drunk, you name it, its probably happened.

We decide its a good time to leave, and after fumbling horribly all the way back to Mudshark's place, our friend M and Mudshark's friend D decide to stay behind, while Mudshark and I return to the bar to retrieve his forgotten credit card.

Back to the bar we go, and another $85 later, we head back to his place. Well, I think it was more of an army crawl at that point, but you get the idea.

As we open his door quietly, we hear the ever-so-familiar slurping sound. Mudshark and I huddle there, discussing our course of approach, while trying to hide our giggling schoolgirl laughter. Naturally, I decide to take matters into my own hands.

Mind you now, I'm not very acrobatic. Hell, I can barely bend over to tie my own shoes, but I had the wonders of alcohol acting on my behalf.

I peer through the entryway, only to see one head on the futon instead of two. Perfect.

I launch myself through the entry way, heading straight for the bed. I leap as high as I possibly can, throw all of my weight back, and perform an aerial backflip over and onto the futon.

I landed mid-fellatio. D half-way gags as my body weight presses her head onto M's unit, while simultaneously causing her to instinctively bite down and smush M's nutsack at the same time. Needless to say, fellatio over.

I laughed for 20 minutes until I passed out, Mudshark laughed until he passed out, and his head was eventually discovered wedged inside a dog kennel somehow, and M found it appropriate to teabag the back of my head and take a picture on his camera phone. Unfortunately for him, it was far too dark to show up for any justifiable revenge.

awesome. hahaha

Tully Mars · 05-29-2008, 09:47 AM

Every time I hear the term "cock block" I think of this from Stephen Lynch...

Hmm, evidentially I'm not smarter then a fifth grader?

Willravel · 05-29-2008, 09:49 AM

Psst... [YOUTUBE]ZkL1N19XXG4["slash"YOUTUBE]

Tully Mars · 05-29-2008, 09:49 AM

Cock block always makes me think of this song:

(couldn't get the youtube?)

She gotta smile,
Yeah, She gotta smile and
she's flashin' it right at me

She gotta wink, a wink across
the bar and I know that it's meant to be.

She gotta walk, OOH, she walkin' over
and I know IT could be my day.

She got a ... friend,
Aaaaw she gotta friend;
And she standin' in her way?!?

It's her big fat friend!
Oh god there's always one
Big fat friend
To spoil my fucking fun!

Now baby baby baby
if it's boots you wanna knock,
Leave your chubby friend at home
because she's gonna block the cock.
Now I'm afraid of no man,
With any I'll contend,
But I cannot compete with your
Big Fat Friend.

So Big fat friend, Ah, we meet again!
YOU won't leave her alone,
YOU ROLL YOUR eyes; make sarcastic
comments while you're suckin' on that
chicken bone.
BUT THATS OK, YOU think you've won the
battle but I tend to disagree.
See I know you, and your Achilles Heel,
And he's standing next to me.
My non-discriminating friend
(So what that you're a cow!)
Non-discriminating friend!
(I'll fuck you anyhow!)

I know he smells of whisky
and he's had a couple rounds,
But with every shot of Jaeger
hey you loose a couple pounds!

Now baby baby baby bring the
evening to an end,
Just you and me and my pal,
and your big fat

telekinetic · 05-29-2008, 10:07 AM

One time at a Cinco De Mayo house party, we threw a hyper wet-nosed and extremely curious dauchshund into our friend's bedroom room and shut the door after we noted her and her boy of the week missing from the party. Squealing ensued. Nothing says 'boner kill' like a wet dog nose right in the middle of your business.

hay guys what's going on in here?! Mind if I cut in?

Miss Mango · 05-29-2008, 10:27 AM

Cockblocking must be an exclusively guy thing. I dont have any stories.

That and Im curious as to why guys feel the need to bust in on their friends getting it on...? Must be some primal look at me! Im a man! Im getting laid! sort of thing.

Women dont need to do that.

Cynthetiq · 05-29-2008, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Mango

Cockblocking must be an exclusively guy thing. I dont have any stories.

That and Im curious as to why guys feel the need to bust in on their friends getting it on...? Must be some primal look at me! Im a man! Im getting laid! sort of thing.

Women dont need to do that.

girls get catty just fine.. get all pissed off that some other slut picked up their target...

that's a cockblock.

busting in on your friends screw session? that's not cock blocking since the friend already got some...

telekinetic · 05-29-2008, 01:00 PM

yes...most of this thread is more about coitius interruptus. Trust me, most cockblocks in the wild are perpetrated by a girl's more sober female friend.

"You are NOT going home with him, I don't care what kind of car he has!"

cadre · 06-04-2008, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cynthetiq

girls get catty just fine.. get all pissed off that some other slut picked up their target...

that's a cockblock.

That happened to me at a party a couple weeks ago. Some chick comes up to me and tells me to back off the guy I'm dancing with because she likes him. "Yes and he clearly likes you too!"

Not fun! I'm sure I've been cock-blocked before too but I can't seem to remember at the moment.

snowy · 06-04-2008, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cadre

That happened to me at a party a couple weeks ago. Some chick comes up to me and tells me to back off the guy I'm dancing with because she likes him. "Yes and he clearly likes you too!"

Not fun! I'm sure I've been cock-blocked before too but I can't seem to remember at the moment.

I've had this happen before. I typically replied with a "So? It matters to me why?" and kept on dancing.

PlanG · 06-06-2008, 02:04 PM

Sat in between a mate when he was chatting to a girl outside a bar on the benches, as I was completely wasted and thought it would be a laugh. Ended up getting with her, but then completely ruining myself, before running out without saying bye, because I got a call from the taxi company I booked a cab with..

Karma

dumbnutofak · 06-08-2008, 11:40 PM

so on new years of this year, we(like 5 of us total) were all downtown at our favorite bar getting hammered as it is of course... tradition. Well my buddy starts to randomly make out with some girl then drags her over to the table and that is where she was for the rest of the night. Well we go to leave and I can barely stand yet alone walk. Our DD and two buddies left to get the car, one buddy went out the back door and apparently laid down by the dumpster, leaving myself and this girl to go meet the DD.

We were on our way out the back when I was told to go to the front, where our DD was waiting. So this chick who I still have no clue who she was runs outside, hears our buddy is missing and turns around to find him.

Instead she hits me, in which makes me tackle her to the ground. At that point I said fuck it, got up and went to the car and we left her there.... god knows what happened to her.

My buddy was all pissed that he didn't get to hook up with her... i think it was a good thing.

thespian86 · 06-28-2008, 12:31 PM

I got hardcore cockblocked the past two weeks.

I went to a local hipster bar where all the liberal arts students go to on wednesdays for Reggae Night. We get there and I meet this girl, who I hit it off with instantly, and we're dancing and joking and drinking, etc. I go outside to get some air, she follows; it's obvious she's interested. We end up kissing (which was amazing but weird because she was my first since breaking up with my long time girlfriend) and we go get late night breakfast. I walk her home, kiss her goodnight and decline coming in (still feeling weird). I get home, sleep, life is good.

The next wednesday we all go out and I go pick Kate up. We get there and my friend Oli is laughing up a storm and says "How are you and Kate getting along?" and I said great. "You know she has a boyfriend right".

Well, it already took a lot of lengthy thought to decide I was okay with it, and this set back destroyed it. I know you can see where this is going.

Turns out she doesn't have a boyfriend. Oli and Company thought it was hilarious that the first girl I was going to hook up with post break up was a disaster. We're going out tonight. Without Oliver haha.

nomcat · 06-28-2008, 01:07 PM

Not a cock-block, more like a mood killer... girlfriend and I were getting it on, I said something dirty to her... she replied with something involving my mother!! Instant wilt...

Crack · 06-28-2008, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nomcat

Not a cock-block, more like a mood killer... girlfriend and I were getting it on, I said something dirty to her... she replied with something involving my mother!! Instant wilt...

"Awe babe, your pussy feels so wet!"
"Wet like your mother's?"

WTF?

Bear Cub · 06-28-2008, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crack

"Awe babe, your pussy feels so wet!"
"Wet like your mother's?"

WTF?

I can't begin to tell you just how much that made my day.

ItWasMe · 06-30-2008, 01:26 PM

Not long ago, I was out with my husband in a crowded bar, sitting at the counter. Some guy kept talking to me , and I was trying to ignore him and watch tv. My hubby is friendly and will talk to just about anyone, and thought the guy was talking to 'us.' A few times the guy either interrupted him or said 'that's nice' or 'uh-huh.' I realized this guy was cock-blocking my husband. Hubby was getting agitated, so I think he also figured it out. I turned my back to the guy and planted a long wet kiss on my hubby.

The guy asked, "You're with him?"
I wanted to say "no, I just kiss random guys in a bar" but was afraid that was a bad answer. I told him that we're married and have a house full of kids.

He actually apologized and left.

Milkyway · 07-09-2008, 09:53 PM

I got a couple, don't know if you'd count them.

1. My boyfriend and I are going at in on the couch when we hear his mother and her boyfriend going at it upstairs. Didn't bother me, but he went soft as a noodle and covered his ears with a pillow. LOL

2. Was doing it with boyfriend at work when I saw a car pull up outside, boss showed up for a random eye spy visit-shit-get pants on quick and get the fuck out of here! (I worked night shift as a nursing assistant at an assisted living facility at the time.)

3. I was very pregnant and having sex with my hubby, me straddling him and when I reached my orgasm, I pissed all over him. He is NOT into that kind of thing, but we did laugh about it. (I thought he was gonna be pissed at me, but he just got out of the mood instead, woke him up about three hours later to do him right!)

Vinrej · 08-08-2008, 12:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ItWasMe

Not long ago, I was out with my husband in a crowded bar, sitting at the counter. Some guy kept talking to me , and I was trying to ignore him and watch tv. My hubby is friendly and will talk to just about anyone, and thought the guy was talking to 'us.' A few times the guy either interrupted him or said 'that's nice' or 'uh-huh.' I realized this guy was cock-blocking my husband. Hubby was getting agitated, so I think he also figured it out. I turned my back to the guy and planted a long wet kiss on my hubby.

The guy asked, "You're with him?"
I wanted to say "no, I just kiss random guys in a bar" but was afraid that was a bad answer. I told him that we're married and have a house full of kids.

He actually apologized and left.

I find your story very interesting. The guy must prolly kicking himself in the butt on his way outside

duhgravy · 08-08-2008, 11:15 AM

Some friends and my wife went two tracking after leaving the bar one night. We stopped at a nice rural setting.

We all decided to drink a few beers and we would head home. My friend and my wifes freind say they have to go take a piss.

We finish our beer and we're ready to go home. Where is Brian and Nichole? No idea.

Turned the truck on and lights just in time to see him fall back in the weeds and her trying to hoist her pants.

The cock block lasted the rest of the night.

medlar · 08-20-2008, 04:06 PM

Lol..funny to see this.

This is pretty much the classic cock-block scenario.

me................................drunkchick..........C.B douche-bag best friend

Guess who got the girl?

FuriousAvatar · 08-20-2008, 11:38 PM

I've had a few occasions, both giving and receiving cockblock, but one in particular comes to mind for me.

Me and my then current girlfriend had some 'freetime' during our after-school stage crew class, so we decided to have a go right there in the school, in our nice, big, then-empty auditorium (we were working on lighting and finished our project, and so were alone). So we're making out like mad in the front seats of the house, she's straddled me, when we hear our stage manager, Lucas, opening the door into the auditorium. We're instantly moving-but very disheveled and rather out-of-breath--so I decide to take off one of the orchestra pit's side covers and we both jump down into the orchestra pit, and waited. Lucas takes a good 5 minutes going over all of our work. He must have been satisfied, because he didn't bother to find us.

MSD · 08-21-2008, 09:14 AM

My congressman interrupted me at a press conference right as I thought I had a chance to talk to a hot intern from the Department of Commerce who I hadn't gotten a chance to talk to before that (we were looking at each other across the room and smiling, and there was clearly some sort of attraction.) Then her boss and my boss came over and asked us to sit down for lunch, and I don't have business cards and didn't have a pen or paper. To simplify the story, I was cockblocked by my congressman. For once I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be one-upped in a discussion.

thespian86 · 08-21-2008, 09:36 AM

I got cock blocked by my cat, her mother, and a cab last night; yes, all last night.

We were taking off our clothes, kissing, etc, and my cat walked in and started going bat shit about being loved. So we looked at it for a second, and started up again. Jumped into bed and her phone rang, and rang, and rang, AND FUCKING RANG. She called three times. She wanted to know where the car was for the night. Jesus.

THEN a cab pulled into my neighbor's yard and started beeping up a storm until I decided I was going to just go beat him to death with my cat in one hand and the phone in the other. Needless to say when I stumbled back downstairs she was asleep. I did the same.

I got laid this morning though.

05-28-2008, 06:09 PM	#1 (permalink)
UKking Crazy	Cock-block! share your stories For those of you unfamiliar with the term Cockblock, this is when someone completely ruins the mood and stops you and your potential partner from getting it on. Or it could mean you stopped your friend from getting some for whatever reason whether it be cause it was a joke, cause you were supposed to get it, whatever! One of the many parties that the friends has thrown has ended in one night flings. We all decided to cock-block one of our friends real bad. So once we knew they were getting it on, we got a metal waste paper basket, filled it with paper, lit it on fire. We let the smoke penetrate the room and then all of a sudden we screamed "FIRE FIRE FIRE, OH MY GOD, EVERYONE OUT NOW!" whilst banging on his door. Both him and the gal ran out with nothing but a sheet and worried look on their face... they ran out to a living room full of drunk guys and gals with tears in their eyes cause they were laughing so hard... oh man... goodtimes...

05-28-2008, 06:12 PM	#2 (permalink)
Punk.of.Ages Forming Location: ....a state of pure inebriation.	This is against man code. Wrong... __________________ "The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager "Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

05-28-2008, 06:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
Halx Please touch this. Owner/Admin Location: Manhattan	I've been cock-blocked by another member of this forum. He is no longer around and probably doesn't realize it, but he is the lone reason why I still have not hooked up with a particular hot board member. True story. I can't give details though. __________________ You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals]

05-28-2008, 06:18 PM	#4 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	hahaha fuck man code. One time I was at a part with a girl named Meaghan and I was really into her. We were both pretty drunk and it she was hitting on me pretty hardcore and I wasn't saying no until a friend of mine Adam swooped in while I went to get a drink. I came back and they were making out. That's fine. He gets up and I walk over and say "Adam's gay and his boyfriend is the jealous type" hahahahaha he watched us for the rest of the night. __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.

05-28-2008, 07:13 PM	#6 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	<embed allowScriptAccess="never" src="http://www.heavy.com/ve/5addc6aa0fdc9887f21e68ca6116ed95" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="512" height="512"></embed><div style="margin-top:5px;margin-left:30px;"> tom cruise....he cock blocked me... eh, people who wouldn't leave the party when the party was clearly over... __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

05-28-2008, 07:39 PM	#9 (permalink)
KellyC Comment or else!! Location: Home sweet home	Would it still be considered cock blocking if you and your girlfriend were having a morning romp and her sister decided it would be a good idea to drop off her kids for your girlfriend to babysit? __________________ Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens.

05-28-2008, 07:45 PM	#11 (permalink)
Church Tilted F*ckhead Location: New Jersey	Wow, the guy that played Tom Cruise in that video did an excellent job lol __________________ Through counter-intelligence, it should be possible to pinpoint potential trouble makers, and neutralize them.

05-28-2008, 07:46 PM	#12 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	PMF, the best revenge is success.

05-28-2008, 09:20 PM	#13 (permalink)
blahblah454 Let's put a smile on that face Location: On the road...	We were once all at a party and a friend of ours, conveniently named Will actually, went into a room with a lady. Anyways we grabbed a big bucket of water, a camera, and managed to get him to come answer the door. I think it involved loud people knocking on the door and shit and he came to tell us to stop. Well he puts on his boxers and grabs his shirt and comes to the door... SLAM!!! giant popcorn bowl full of water in the face. And I snapped a picture the second after he gets hit. I am sure he was not in the mood after this, but we did not stick around to find out. This was also around 5 years ago when we were a little more immature.

05-29-2008, 03:48 AM	#15 (permalink)
lotsofmagnets Upright Location: reykjavík, iceland	i walked in to a friend´s bedroom while he was sexing his girl of the week. i sat down and started playing on his computer. __________________ mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor. she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron. physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

05-29-2008, 04:46 AM	#16 (permalink)
Bear Cub The Reverend Side Boob Location: Nofe Curolina	Ok, I have to describe the layout of the room to really get the full effect. Its a small, off-campus apartment. You walk through the doorway a few steps, and an opening to the combined living room/bedroom is to the right. Looking into that room, the bed is up against the far wall, and the back of the futon basically creates the side to the bed. Onto the story. My partner in crime (we shall call him Mudshark) and I were at the bar a block away. It has been one of those evenings. The two of us have racked up a $350 bar tab (we drink cheap drinks, too), been molested by a pair of hot female twins who were already kicked out for being too drunk, you name it, its probably happened. We decide its a good time to leave, and after fumbling horribly all the way back to Mudshark's place, our friend M and Mudshark's friend D decide to stay behind, while Mudshark and I return to the bar to retrieve his forgotten credit card. Back to the bar we go, and another $85 later, we head back to his place. Well, I think it was more of an army crawl at that point, but you get the idea. As we open his door quietly, we hear the ever-so-familiar slurping sound. Mudshark and I huddle there, discussing our course of approach, while trying to hide our giggling schoolgirl laughter. Naturally, I decide to take matters into my own hands. Mind you now, I'm not very acrobatic. Hell, I can barely bend over to tie my own shoes, but I had the wonders of alcohol acting on my behalf. I peer through the entryway, only to see one head on the futon instead of two. Perfect. I launch myself through the entry way, heading straight for the bed. I leap as high as I possibly can, throw all of my weight back, and perform an aerial backflip over and onto the futon. I landed mid-fellatio. D half-way gags as my body weight presses her head onto M's unit, while simultaneously causing her to instinctively bite down and smush M's nutsack at the same time. Needless to say, fellatio over. I laughed for 20 minutes until I passed out, Mudshark laughed until he passed out, and his head was eventually discovered wedged inside a dog kennel somehow, and M found it appropriate to teabag the back of my head and take a picture on his camera phone. Unfortunately for him, it was far too dark to show up for any justifiable revenge. __________________ Living in the United Socialist States of America.

05-29-2008, 09:47 AM	#18 (permalink)
Tully Mars Living in a Warmer Insanity Super Moderator Location: Yucatan, Mexico	Every time I hear the term "cock block" I think of this from Stephen Lynch... Hmm, evidentially I'm not smarter then a fifth grader? __________________ I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club Last edited by Tully Mars; 05-29-2008 at 09:58 AM..

05-29-2008, 09:49 AM	#19 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	Psst... [YOUTUBE]ZkL1N19XXG4["slash"YOUTUBE]

05-29-2008, 09:49 AM	#20 (permalink)
Tully Mars Living in a Warmer Insanity Super Moderator Location: Yucatan, Mexico	Cock block always makes me think of this song: (couldn't get the youtube?) She gotta smile, Yeah, She gotta smile and she's flashin' it right at me She gotta wink, a wink across the bar and I know that it's meant to be. She gotta walk, OOH, she walkin' over and I know IT could be my day. She got a ... friend, Aaaaw she gotta friend; And she standin' in her way?!? It's her big fat friend! Oh god there's always one Big fat friend To spoil my fucking fun! Now baby baby baby if it's boots you wanna knock, Leave your chubby friend at home because she's gonna block the cock. Now I'm afraid of no man, With any I'll contend, But I cannot compete with your Big Fat Friend. So Big fat friend, Ah, we meet again! YOU won't leave her alone, YOU ROLL YOUR eyes; make sarcastic comments while you're suckin' on that chicken bone. BUT THATS OK, YOU think you've won the battle but I tend to disagree. See I know you, and your Achilles Heel, And he's standing next to me. My non-discriminating friend (So what that you're a cow!) Non-discriminating friend! (I'll fuck you anyhow!) I know he smells of whisky and he's had a couple rounds, But with every shot of Jaeger hey you loose a couple pounds! Now baby baby baby bring the evening to an end, Just you and me and my pal, and your big fat __________________ I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club Last edited by Tully Mars; 05-29-2008 at 09:54 AM..

05-29-2008, 10:07 AM	#21 (permalink)
telekinetic zomgomgomgomgomgomg Location: Fauxenix, Azerona	One time at a Cinco De Mayo house party, we threw a hyper wet-nosed and extremely curious dauchshund into our friend's bedroom room and shut the door after we noted her and her boy of the week missing from the party. Squealing ensued. Nothing says 'boner kill' like a wet dog nose right in the middle of your business. hay guys what's going on in here?! Mind if I cut in? __________________ twisted no more Last edited by telekinetic; 05-29-2008 at 10:11 AM..

05-29-2008, 10:27 AM	#22 (permalink)
Miss Mango Psycho	Cockblocking must be an exclusively guy thing. I dont have any stories. That and Im curious as to why guys feel the need to bust in on their friends getting it on...? Must be some primal look at me! Im a man! Im getting laid! sort of thing. Women dont need to do that.

05-29-2008, 01:00 PM	#24 (permalink)
telekinetic zomgomgomgomgomgomg Location: Fauxenix, Azerona	yes...most of this thread is more about coitius interruptus. Trust me, most cockblocks in the wild are perpetrated by a girl's more sober female friend. "You are NOT going home with him, I don't care what kind of car he has!" __________________ twisted no more

06-06-2008, 02:04 PM	#27 (permalink)
PlanG Crazy Location: England	Sat in between a mate when he was chatting to a girl outside a bar on the benches, as I was completely wasted and thought it would be a laugh. Ended up getting with her, but then completely ruining myself, before running out without saying bye, because I got a call from the taxi company I booked a cab with.. Karma

06-08-2008, 11:40 PM	#28 (permalink)
dumbnutofak Crazy Location: Anchorage Alaska	New Years so on new years of this year, we(like 5 of us total) were all downtown at our favorite bar getting hammered as it is of course... tradition. Well my buddy starts to randomly make out with some girl then drags her over to the table and that is where she was for the rest of the night. Well we go to leave and I can barely stand yet alone walk. Our DD and two buddies left to get the car, one buddy went out the back door and apparently laid down by the dumpster, leaving myself and this girl to go meet the DD. We were on our way out the back when I was told to go to the front, where our DD was waiting. So this chick who I still have no clue who she was runs outside, hears our buddy is missing and turns around to find him. Instead she hits me, in which makes me tackle her to the ground. At that point I said fuck it, got up and went to the car and we left her there.... god knows what happened to her. My buddy was all pissed that he didn't get to hook up with her... i think it was a good thing. __________________ If a little knowledge is dangerous, where is a man who has so much as to be out of danger?

06-28-2008, 12:31 PM	#29 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	I got hardcore cockblocked the past two weeks. I went to a local hipster bar where all the liberal arts students go to on wednesdays for Reggae Night. We get there and I meet this girl, who I hit it off with instantly, and we're dancing and joking and drinking, etc. I go outside to get some air, she follows; it's obvious she's interested. We end up kissing (which was amazing but weird because she was my first since breaking up with my long time girlfriend) and we go get late night breakfast. I walk her home, kiss her goodnight and decline coming in (still feeling weird). I get home, sleep, life is good. The next wednesday we all go out and I go pick Kate up. We get there and my friend Oli is laughing up a storm and says "How are you and Kate getting along?" and I said great. "You know she has a boyfriend right". Well, it already took a lot of lengthy thought to decide I was okay with it, and this set back destroyed it. I know you can see where this is going. Turns out she doesn't have a boyfriend. Oli and Company thought it was hilarious that the first girl I was going to hook up with post break up was a disaster. We're going out tonight. Without Oliver haha. __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.

06-28-2008, 01:07 PM	#30 (permalink)
nomcat Twisted Location: UK	Not a cock-block, more like a mood killer... girlfriend and I were getting it on, I said something dirty to her... she replied with something involving my mother!! Instant wilt...

06-30-2008, 01:26 PM	#33 (permalink)
ItWasMe But You'll Never Prove It. Location: under your bed	Not long ago, I was out with my husband in a crowded bar, sitting at the counter. Some guy kept talking to me , and I was trying to ignore him and watch tv. My hubby is friendly and will talk to just about anyone, and thought the guy was talking to 'us.' A few times the guy either interrupted him or said 'that's nice' or 'uh-huh.' I realized this guy was cock-blocking my husband. Hubby was getting agitated, so I think he also figured it out. I turned my back to the guy and planted a long wet kiss on my hubby. The guy asked, "You're with him?" I wanted to say "no, I just kiss random guys in a bar" but was afraid that was a bad answer. I told him that we're married and have a house full of kids. He actually apologized and left. __________________ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

07-09-2008, 09:53 PM	#34 (permalink)
Milkyway Tilted Location: Ohio	I got a couple, don't know if you'd count them. 1. My boyfriend and I are going at in on the couch when we hear his mother and her boyfriend going at it upstairs. Didn't bother me, but he went soft as a noodle and covered his ears with a pillow. LOL 2. Was doing it with boyfriend at work when I saw a car pull up outside, boss showed up for a random eye spy visit-shit-get pants on quick and get the fuck out of here! (I worked night shift as a nursing assistant at an assisted living facility at the time.) 3. I was very pregnant and having sex with my hubby, me straddling him and when I reached my orgasm, I pissed all over him. He is NOT into that kind of thing, but we did laugh about it. (I thought he was gonna be pissed at me, but he just got out of the mood instead, woke him up about three hours later to do him right!) __________________ Yes you can get off on the same sexual experience for 24 full hours!!!!!

08-08-2008, 11:15 AM	#36 (permalink)
duhgravy Upright	Some friends and my wife went two tracking after leaving the bar one night. We stopped at a nice rural setting. We all decided to drink a few beers and we would head home. My friend and my wifes freind say they have to go take a piss. We finish our beer and we're ready to go home. Where is Brian and Nichole? No idea. Turned the truck on and lights just in time to see him fall back in the weeds and her trying to hoist her pants. The cock block lasted the rest of the night.

08-20-2008, 04:06 PM	#37 (permalink)
medlar Tilted Location: In this flesh and bone thing	Lol..funny to see this. This is pretty much the classic cock-block scenario. me................................drunkchick..........C.B douche-bag best friend Guess who got the girl?

08-20-2008, 11:38 PM	#38 (permalink)
FuriousAvatar Crazy Location: Juneau, Alaska	I've had a few occasions, both giving and receiving cockblock, but one in particular comes to mind for me. Me and my then current girlfriend had some 'freetime' during our after-school stage crew class, so we decided to have a go right there in the school, in our nice, big, then-empty auditorium (we were working on lighting and finished our project, and so were alone). So we're making out like mad in the front seats of the house, she's straddled me, when we hear our stage manager, Lucas, opening the door into the auditorium. We're instantly moving-but very disheveled and rather out-of-breath--so I decide to take off one of the orchestra pit's side covers and we both jump down into the orchestra pit, and waited. Lucas takes a good 5 minutes going over all of our work. He must have been satisfied, because he didn't bother to find us.

08-21-2008, 09:14 AM	#39 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	My congressman interrupted me at a press conference right as I thought I had a chance to talk to a hot intern from the Department of Commerce who I hadn't gotten a chance to talk to before that (we were looking at each other across the room and smiling, and there was clearly some sort of attraction.) Then her boss and my boss came over and asked us to sit down for lunch, and I don't have business cards and didn't have a pen or paper. To simplify the story, I was cockblocked by my congressman. For once I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be one-upped in a discussion.

08-21-2008, 09:36 AM	#40 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	I got cock blocked by my cat, her mother, and a cab last night; yes, all last night. We were taking off our clothes, kissing, etc, and my cat walked in and started going bat shit about being loved. So we looked at it for a second, and started up again. Jumped into bed and her phone rang, and rang, and rang, AND FUCKING RANG. She called three times. She wanted to know where the car was for the night. Jesus. THEN a cab pulled into my neighbor's yard and started beeping up a storm until I decided I was going to just go beat him to death with my cat in one hand and the phone in the other. Needless to say when I stumbled back downstairs she was asleep. I did the same. I got laid this morning though. __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.